Zhang Shaonan, who returned home with his mother, looked at the familiar and unfamiliar home that had carried him for more than 20 years, and felt a lot of emotion in his heart. If he hadn't personally experienced life and death, and saw his parents grief after his death, Zhang Shaonan might not have known that what he cared about most in his heart was the family that gave birth to him and raised him, and he cared more about his parents who worked hard to raise him to adulthood.

Back in the room where he lived at the age of 16, Zhang Shaonan silently said to himself who looked at the hard-won resurrection in the mirror: "My growth is to slowly know how to cherish in losing and gaining again and again, slowly know how to be strong in turning around and moving forward again and again, and slowly know how to restrain in joy, anger and sorrow." I grew up too slowly, and when I was sensible, you were all old, so let me take over the dream of the last life again. Father, Mom, this life depends on your son to protect this family in his own way. I will never let you be sad again, I will be myself again in this life. My youth is up to me. Rampant or ordinary. As long as everything is as you like and there are no regrets, I, Zhang Shaonan, can leave with a smile even if my soul is destroyed by the ruthless calamity. ”

Zhang Shaonan stepped into his room, looking at the poster of Andy Lau's youth posted on the wall, Shi Xiaolong smiled or something, he didn't expect to be a star chaser. Looking at the novels in a row on the desk, Zhang Shaonan flipped through it casually, and it seemed that there was only one copy of "Golden Vase Plum" that got into his eyes, but it was boring after not reading it for a while, for him who had experienced the information age and read hundreds of e-books, the paper novels at this time could no longer satisfy his dick otaku heart.

"What was I doing when I was 16 years old?" Zhang Shaonan sat on a chair with his own photo album in his hand, raising his head and slowly recalling the experience of being 16 years old before. "It seems that in addition to reading novels, playing games, watching cartoons, studying hard every day, and being a mediocre three-good student, I don't have any special memories" Zhang Shaonan despised himself completely in his heart, and read so many martial arts novels, science fiction novels, urban novels, and so on, so he could not be the protagonist once, and there was no thrilling journey. What's the point of being rampant in this life, at least give yourself a 16-year-old who has no regrets. ”

Secretly making up his mind, he found a cardboard box and put the boring novels in the row on his desk in one go, sealed them and pushed them under the bed. After doing this, Zhang Shaonan sat down and looked at this and that, and then took the repeater on the table, and found a lot of "old songs" in the tapes on the table, Leslie Cheung's "If This Is Not Love", "Kiss Goodbye", Huanzi, Pang Long and other popular songs of this era. Hearing these songs, which are still popular in the 21st century, a thought suddenly popped into Zhang Shaonan's mind, if I take the road of music, it will not work.

"How do you know if you don't try" Zhang Shaonan rummaged over and over, touched his pocket, and only found a steel hammer, which is estimated to have survived when he was reluctant to spend it. The dream of buying a guitar and creating a new era of songs was forced to die by reality before it sprouted, and the tears in Zhang Shaonan's heart, wow, wow.

"Hey, it's over, my dream of being a singer. I have a lot of pop songs in my head, how do I explode, I'm in a hurry. Zhang Shaonan rubbed his head with his hands, struggled for a long time, and finally decided to put this song aside first. Zhang Shaonan, who was bored, looked at a junior high school "Mathematics" textbook in front of him, and his brain opened up for a while, and after thinking about it, he felt that it was more reliable to be a top student first. Unexpectedly, Zhang Shaonan, who opened the textbook and didn't do a few questions, instantly lost his interest in continuing.

Why, it's so simple. For Zhang Shaonan, who has experienced the high school entrance examination, college entrance examination, and graduated from university, it is simply a piece of cake. It seems that I still find something challenging to turn around, and then I rummage through the cabinets in my room to find something that inspires me to come out. After a long time, he didn't come back for a reason, and finally he gave up. I can only take one step at a time, and at this age of material scarcity, it is better to familiarize myself with it before making plans. I sat down anew, looked through the math textbook, and fell asleep on the table unconsciously.

"Young man, young man, wake up, get up and eat. In a cautious and gentle shout, Zhang Shaonan opened his eyes. looked at the mother in front of him and rubbed his eyes: "Mom, what's wrong?" "Silly boy, it's time to eat." The body has not recovered yet, why is it so careless to sleep on your stomach here, and you are not afraid of catching a cold. The mother looked at Zhang Shaonan reproachfully and said. "It's okay Mom, you see I've been well early, and it's no problem to eat a cow with my appetite now. Zhang Shaonan said proudly in front of his mother with his two "fritters" arms. "It's fun to see you, let's go down and eat quickly, and when you go out for a run, don't always stay in the room, it's easy to get sick after staying for a long time, it's better to exercise more." Zhang Shaonan listened carefully to his mother's words like a good baby, stretched out his hand and put his arm around his mother's shoulder and said as he walked: "I know, I will pay attention, I haven't eaten my mother's food for a long time, let's go down quickly, I'm about to drool." "You little gluttonous cat, I really can't do anything about you." After her mother finished speaking, she went downstairs under the urging of Zhang Shaonan.

"Mom, what you cooked... It's delicious. I haven't eaten anything so delicious for a long time.. It's time to eat, Mom, you have to cook the same as back then. Zhang Shaonan grabbed the rice in the bowl into his mouth and said vaguely. Mother looked at Zhang Shaonan, who was eating very well in front of her and had been praising herself, and said angrily: "Eat slowly, I didn't like to eat what I made before, and I make it for you every day, how can you still talk nonsense when you are sick." You kid will only say something to make your mother happy, eat slowly, be careful not to choke, there will be more after eating. ”

"What's the matter, it's just that I've been in the hospital for so long, and I miss my mother's cooking. It's still better to cook something better, by the way, mom, how did I get to the hospital, I don't have any impression. Zhang Shaonan stopped eating and watched his mother ask the question that had been hidden in his heart for a long time.

The mother looked at Zhang Shaonan and muttered for a while, looked at Zhang Shaonan and said, "You came back from school that day and didn't know why you were sullen, and locked yourself in your room without dinner, and you didn't say anything when you asked." In the evening I went to knock on your door, and I knocked for a long time and did not hear your voice. I pushed open the door and went in to see you, but I didn't expect you to lie on the floor of your room, shouting that you shouldn't be. I was frightened to see you like this, you kept your eyes closed and didn't respond, so I found a neighbor and sent you to the county hospital overnight, and you know that we don't have a doctor here. When I went to the hospital, the doctor couldn't find anything, and said that I would observe in the hospital before making a decision.

Unexpectedly, your body started to get cold and hot that night, and it became unstable. The hospital also issued a critical illness notice, and my mother and I were almost scared to death, so I could only pray that God would hope that you would be safe. I didn't expect you to lie down for a week, Mom and your dad are crazy, if something happens to you, we don't know what to do... Before she finished speaking, her mother began to cry sadly, Zhang Shaonan held back the doubts in her heart and walked to her mother's side and hugged her in her arms: "Mom, I'm not fine, don't worry, your son will be blessed if he doesn't die, eat, don't talk about this." After comforting for a long time, my mother was gradually amused by Zhang Shaonan, ate dinner, and chatted with my mother for a while before returning to the room. “

Zhang Shaonan lay on his bed, looking at the snow-white ceiling, thinking about what his mother said before the meal. After thinking about it for a long time, I only heard him say to himself: "That day, something must have happened, and the source of everything was only to go back to Huatian Junior High School to find it." Whatever happens, I'm going to have to figure it out. After saying that, he fell asleep and did not speak all night.