Shang Ni went out the day before yesterday, and yesterday she also visited another scenic spot, and met a fortune teller in the scenic area, and now she knows that that person is Zhuang Mengzhou, but at that time he was a stranger who had never known him. As a descendant of Fengmen, the first time she came out to walk the rivers and lakes, Shang Ni couldn't help but want to show her skills, she knew all the routines.

Shanny also had some mischievous thoughts, and when she saw a fortune teller who was deceived and deceived, she wanted to tease and tease the other party and expose the other party's tricks of deception. She took the initiative to run over and talk, but as soon as the fortune teller opened his mouth, he frightened her into a daze.

Shannie almost thought that she had met a fairy, and obediently paid the money, but after all, she was still a little unconvinced, so she said to the fortune teller: "You calculate all the things that have happened in the past and have happened, can you predict the future?

As a result, the fortune teller smiled and started another hexagram, predicting that they would meet again soon, and said with a smile that he would return the hexagram money to her when they met, and the result was really fulfilled like a god!

Shang Ni is not stupid, as soon as we met today, I knew that the person who came was Zhuang Mengzhou, and Zhuang Mengzhou was also invited by Xianhua, so I immediately understood what was going on. Since Xianhua specifically mentioned Shang Ni to Zhuang Mengzhou, he must have also introduced a lot of her situation, maybe Zhuang Mengzhou also made a special inquiry, maybe it's strange!

Everyone laughed. Zhuang Mengzhou had already taken out the three hundred yuan, but Shang Ni didn't accept it, blinked her eyes and said, "You said that you would return the hexagram money to me when we meet now, but I don't want it, then you still haven't calculated it completely!"

Shi Buquan took the money, stuffed it back into Shang Ni's hand and said, "Senior sister, you have been tricked again." You deliberately made him not calculate, and what he lost was not his own money? He didn't have much to lose! What is there to be angry with his predecessors?"

Shanni was stubborn: "Even if you pay the tuition." ”

Zhu Shan smiled and said, "In this Jianghu class, three hundred yuan is not enough tuition, Mr. Zhuang is just joking with you." ”

Shi Buquan had already stuffed the money into her hand, and Shang Ni still put away the three hundred yuan.

Ding Qi also laughed out loud on the side, and at the same time remembered a principle in sociology. A good psychologist must also study sociology, and Ding Qi was a teacher of social psychology, and his mentor Liu Feng was an excellent sociologist. Sociology has a principle about the relationship between strangers that only needs to be passed three times at most.

In short, in an open, interpersonal group, no matter how large the group, two complete strangers want to make contact no more than three intermediate transmissions. The specific expression is explained in mathematical terms in the book.

For example, Zhang San, the person he knows is a set of mathematics, called A. The so-called acquaintance does not refer to having heard of it unilaterally, but actually knowing each other, which represents Zhang San's acquaintance, and B represents Li Si's acquaintance, and Li Si and Zhang San are completely strangers.

Then there must be an intersection between A and B, and C is both an acquaintance of A and an acquaintance of B. That is to say, the relationship between Zhang San and Li Si is transmitted no more than three times. In mathematical terms, it is not easy to understand, you can take the most extreme example, an ordinary farmer in a remote mountainous area, and the president of the country want to get in touch, how many people need to go through in between?

Theoretically, it's up to three people!

Let's not talk about special cases, let's talk about the most ordinary cases. The farmer did not know the state leaders, but he certainly knew some village leaders, such as the village chief of their own village.

Among the village leaders A he knows, there must be someone who knows county and city leader C, and this is the first time that it has been transmitted.

Among the county and city leaders C, there must be people who know the provincial and ministerial leaders B, and this is the second pass.

And among the provincial and ministerial leaders B, there must be people who have dealt with national leaders, and this is the third pass.

The above is just an extreme example, and in most cases, stranger relationship transmission does not take three times at all, usually one or two is enough. For example, before today, Ding Qi didn't know Zhuang Mengzhou at all, but after Zhu Shanxin and Xianhua passed it twice, he arrived at Zhuang Mengzhou.

Ding Qi talked about these things in class before, and he, the teacher, didn't have a deep enough understanding of it, but now he really understands this principle and its power. Sometimes, what you think of as a stranger may seem like an unknown person, but in fact they are not strangers to you at all. The rivers and lakes are shocking, and many times this kind of routine is used.

For example, Ding Qi didn't know Fan Yang at all, but it can't be said that Fan Yang didn't know Ding Qi. If he met on an unexpected occasion, Fan Yang also pretended to be a fortune teller, and it is estimated that he would be able to bluff Ding Qi into a daze. Especially in today's era of big data, where network information is so developed, whether strangers are really strangers depends on whether the other party has a heart.

The book that Ye Xing recommended to him did not introduce this kind of shocking routine, but Ding Qi figured it out by himself. He was pondering here, and he listened to Zhuang Mengzhou say, "Teacher Ding, I want to talk to you alone." ”

Here it is again, almost everyone is like this! Ding Qi knew that it was inevitable, so he stood up very simply and said, "Mr. Zhuang, where are we going to talk?"

Zhuang Mengzhou: "Let's go to the backyard to chat, move two chairs, and watch the scenery while chatting." ”

One of them carried a chair to the backyard, opened the door, and sat there chatting. What Zhuang Mengzhou asked, of course, was how they discovered Xiaojing Lake, and Ding Qi was the best introducer. Starting from the beginning again, Ding Qi let Tian Qi, Tu Zhi, and Lu Fang enter a state of deep hypnosis respectively, and the mental world of the three people presented the same scene......

But Zhuang Mengzhou was not only listening to Ding Qi's introduction, but also occasionally interjecting questions, and asking key questions. Inserting key questions into introductory conversations, which is the most common thing psychologists do, seems to be reversed.

For example, when introducing Tian Qi, Zhuang Mengzhou interjected: "I have also read the report on the Internet about the incident of Jinghu Ankang Hospital. If that Tian Qi doesn't die, will your mentor always be threatened with his life?"

What else could Ding Qi say, he had to nod. Zhuang Mengzhou asked again: "From your professional point of view, Tian Qi should actually commit suicide, right?" and then added, "Actually, you not only saved the mentor, but also may have saved Tian Xianglong and his wife, is that true?"

Ding Qi was really surprised this time, he described the experience related to the discovery of Xiaojing Lake, not these intimate details. For example, he only said that Tian Qi had been to such a place in a state of deep hypnosis, and he did not explicitly say his special talent, let alone the cause of Tian Qi's death.

There were some things that he had only discussed with his mentor Liu Feng, and there were some things that he had never said or explained to anyone. Now Zhuang Mengzhou has pointed it out, especially the sentence added by Zhuang Mengzhou, which made Ding Qi very emotional and grateful, it is rare to have such a stranger who understands him very well

When the two were talking, Zhou Mengzhuang's eyes also looked out of the door from time to time, he should be looking at Nanlan Mountain Forest Park, but it gave people the feeling that sometimes it was like looking at the scenery that didn't exist, and he didn't know what he saw or whether he saw it.

After Ding Qi finished introducing the process of finding and discovering Xiaojing Lake, Zhou Mengzhuang asked again with some abruptness: "There is a term in psychology called empathy. What is the specific point, can I, a layman, ask Teacher Ding?"

Ding Qi smiled: "Mr. Zhuang, you don't look like a layman. ”

Zhuang Mengzhou also smiled: "The threshold of the surprise door, first of all, is a surprise word, which makes people feel surprised, and dealing with the three hundred and sixty lines in the world may give people the feeling of being an insider." But how is it actually possible, it's just a feeling. ”

Ding Qi: "Empathy is not only an attitude, but also a technique, which psychologists must master. The simple explanation is not to start from one's own feelings, but from the other person's feelings to experience things and empathize with the other person. ”

Zhuang Mengzhou: "If it's such a simple explanation, I don't need to ask your expert." Starting from the other person's feelings to experience things, how can people know the other person's feelings, and how can they make the other person's feelings their own? Since it is a kind of technique, it also needs to be trained, and there are specific steps for training, and this is the point!

Ding Qi: "Yes, you're asking the point. Listening to what you just said, you must have read the textbooks of psychological counselors, but those textbooks only talk about the principles and principles of empathy, and do not introduce the requirements and steps of empathy training. This is often practiced in practice, and the degree of mastery varies from person to person.

The first requirement is that you can't bring in your own emotions, otherwise you will hear what the other party says, and after adding your own value judgment, your emotions will rise immediately, and it will be difficult to understand the other party. The second requirement is to forget oneself and regard the other party as oneself, so that people's spiritual activities have common laws, and common experiences have common feelings.

Of course, people are different, for example, the emotional difference between men and women is very different, which should be based on trying to understand each other's emotional reactions, which needs to be observed. So you have to forget about yourself, but you can't really give up on yourself......"

What Ding Qi said was actually what Liu Feng taught in class back then, and when he relayed it to others at this moment, he himself already had a very clear understanding and experience. This Mr. Zhuang is very interesting, he actually discussed professional issues with Ding Qi, and his kind of "academic research" seems to be different from Tan Hanchuan and Shi Buquan.

Ding Qi's introduction came to an end, and Zhuang Mengzhou said thoughtfully: "Listening to you, it's not difficult to understand, but the vast majority of people still don't know." ”

Ding Qi couldn't help but smile again: "If you can understand it, how can you listen to it?" This needs to be trained and mastered in practice, it is a practical technique, and it cannot be understood only as a work attitude. ”

Zhuang Mengzhou also smiled: "According to what Teacher Ding said, the aunt of the neighborhood committee should also master empathy skills?"

Ding Qi: "It's not all neighborhood committee aunts, you should be referring to community mediators." I was commissioned by the school's mental health center to give training to a community mediator workshop in Jinghu City, where I taught the principles and principles of empathy techniques.

The first is that you must not bring your own emotions into it, but you must not be infected by the emotions of the other party and lose judgment. The work of a community mediator is similar to that of a psychiatrist, but there are also significant differences, and they need to bring social value judgments with them at all times......"

Zhuang Mengzhou touched his chin and said, "Teacher Ding is very professional, really professional! There is a saying in the rivers and lakes that a god will know if there is one when he opens his mouth." In fact, no matter who he is, no matter what he claims to do, ask him a few questions, and he will often be clear in his heart.

Let's continue to discuss the aunt of the neighborhood committee, we can't be infected by the other party's emotions and lose judgment. Since there is such a phenomenon as empathy, then there should be empathy, does this situation belong to being empathized?"

Dingzi: "That's not professional. From the perspective of operation technology, empathy is divided into empathizers and empathy objects. But empathy itself is to be empathized, you feel the other person's experience, but you still maintain a clear self. As for the kind of phenomenon you mentioned, it is precisely because the empathy technique has not been mastered well. ”

Zhuang Mengzhou suddenly changed his words and said: "Teacher Ding's technique has almost broken through the extreme of empathy, right? You once put three different people into a state of deep hypnosis, and found that they all went to the same place. But you can be so sure that it is a world that exists in reality but has not yet been discovered, which means that you should be in it yourself.

It's not a simple empathy experience, nor is it a general synaesthesia phenomenon in psychology, I'm borrowing another term, you're actually 'inbound'. You didn't imagine it through the other person's description under deep hypnosis, but a real experience, and you went where they were at the time!"

Tintze was shocked again. Previously, he only mentioned in his description of Xian Hao that he had mastered a special talent through professional training, but he didn't say this to Zhuang Mengzhou just now, but Zhuang Mengzhou pointed it out.

Ding Qi sighed with emotion: "Mr. Zhuang, although it is the first time we have met, how can I have a feeling that I have been seen through by you?"

Zhuang Mengzhou patted Ding Qi on the shoulder and said, "I'm here for this matter, of course, I have to ask as clearly as possible." Don't be surprised, Mr. Ding, what I just said is just the words of the gods and goddesses. ”

Ding Qi was stunned: "The words of the gods and goddesses of the rivers and lakes?"

Zhuang Mengzhou: "For Mr. Ding, the principle is also very simple. Say the guess in your heart as a positive judgment, it doesn't matter if you are wrong, it's just an ordinary chat, if it's right, it gives people the feeling that things are like gods, and you can even see through them at a glance.

I have read various reports on the incident at Jinghu City Ankang Hospital, and I have heard Xiaohua relay your story of how you discovered the world outside the Fang, and there were many speculations before you came, including speculation about you. Just say it directly, and it will feel very different for you, the client. ”

Ding Qi couldn't help but laugh and said: "I see! Mr. Zhuang, when you do this, you are actually tearing down the threshold." ”

Zhuang Mengzhou was surprised: "Teacher Ding also understands this?"

What kind of threshold did Zhuang Mengzhou dismantle? On the surface, he was demolishing his own threshold, first demonstrating a shocking routine, which made Ding Qi constantly surprised, and then he said it all again, and then made Ding Qi feel suddenly enlightened. Breaking through his own doorway is actually dismantling the threshold of Ding Qi - the psychological threshold.

For the master of the rivers and lakes he met on the first day, and he is also the most mysterious master of the legend, Ding Qi's mentality must be both curious and guarded. This way of communication will unconsciously shorten the psychological distance, lift Ding Qi's guard little by little, and his sense of trust will become stronger and stronger, and he will unconsciously say a lot of things that he didn't plan to say before.

Ding Qi is not a rookie now, not to mention that he is a professional in this area, so he simply pointed it out, and asked with a smile: "Mr. Ye of Boci Medical recommended me to read a book, which is a network, which has an introduction to the eight gates of the rivers and lakes."

Interestingly, I also saw a cultural relics identification expert named Zhou Xiaoxian in the book, known as a ghost hand in the rivers and lakes. Shi Buquan's mentor is called Zhou Xiaoxuan, who is also an expert in cultural relics identification, and also has this nickname, and the name is also a homonym for Zhou Xiaoxian. What do you say is going on?"

Zhuang Mengzhou said with a smile: "Art comes from life! Someone must have heard of Zhou Xiaoxuan's deeds, and took him as the prototype of the character, and wrote about such a person in the book." ”

Ding Qi: "But there is another person named Zhou Mengzhuang in the book, which is too similar to your name, what is going on?"

Zhuang Mengzhou laughed and said: "It turns out that I am also so famous? I must have heard about my deeds in the rivers and lakes, so I created such a character...... Brother Ding, don't talk about this, you must have those paintings they painted after they saw Xiaojing Lake, can you show me first?"

Ding Qi: "Didn't Mr. Zhuang see Xiaojing Lake just now?"

Zhuang Mengzhou: "To be honest, I really didn't see it clearly. The secret spirit rhino technique of the rivers and lakes needs to be guided by things that are destined. It's like the so-called shocking magic calculation, which is never opened out of thin air. ”

These words are a bit unfathomable, and Ding Qi doesn't know whether they are true or not. Ding Qi really carried one of those pictures depicting Xiaojing Lake, which was painted by Shi Buquan, and he took out the folded painting and handed it to Zhuang Mengzhou. But Zhuang Mengzhou's later sentence, Ding Qi was deeply touched.

The so-called shocking calculation, of course, is not out of thin air. For example, Zhuang Mengzhou bluffed Shang Ni yesterday, but he actually knew about her situation for a long time. Another example is what Zhuang Mengzhou just said, which is not a random guess, but a well-founded and reasonable judgment made after understanding the relevant background information.

But the secret spirit rhino technique needs to be guided by something that is destined, what does this mean? Ding Qi was a little confused. Tan Hanchuan previously conducted a double-blind test to avoid this effect as much as possible, so as to rule out the possibility of psychological suggestion. And Zhuang Mengzhou is good, and he directly wants to borrow someone else's painting for use.

Zhuang Mengzhou took the painting and opened it, only glanced at it. Ding Qi observed very carefully, he really only glanced at it, and then turned his head to look out the door, revealing a sudden expression. This subtle and natural expression reaction is difficult to disguise, Zhuang Mengzhou doesn't seem to need to disguise anything in front of Ding Qi, as far as Ding Qi's feeling is concerned, he really saw Xiaojing Lake.

Zhuang Mengzhou folded the painting and returned it to Ding Qi and said, "Teacher Ding, thank you...... I also want to ask you another question, the empathy I just discussed is empathy with others, so can we empathize with the heavens, earth, mountains and rivers?"

Ding Qi subconsciously asked: "Are there love in heaven, earth, mountains and rivers? The ancients had a poem, if the sky is loved, the sky will be old." ”

Zhuang Mengzhou smiled and asked rhetorically: "Who said that the sky is not old? There is still the idiom 'the heaven is wasted and the earth is old' in Chinese, otherwise how can the heart plate technique of the Fengmen secret be used?"

Ding Qi was really shocked this time, because this is exactly what he has been pondering lately. Does Heaven and Earth Have Affection? The so-called affection here may not refer to the feelings of human beings, but is closer to the Buddhist saying. For Ding Qi, is there any consciousness in the world, and if so, what kind of consciousness is it?

Empathizing with heaven and earth, isn't that his recent realization? summed it up so accurately, Ding Qi himself hadn't thought of it before!