"I'm not afraid of you laughing when I say it, just last night at dinner, you told me that you would buy a manor, a yacht, a private jet abroad, and in the near future, you will take me to the United States to play, to play in Xiangjiang, I am still delusional, delusional to travel with you, to chase the longing and intoxicating pictures and scenes of 'poetry and distance' in your mouth.

"I believe, and I am somewhat confident, as long as I continue to stay by your side and persevere, one day, those delusions above me will be more or less realized.

"These delusions used to make me so motivated that every day felt like living in heaven. The first thing I think of when I open my eyes every morning is to come to work, to come to you, to be with you.

"Until Xiaoya's departure.

"Xiaoya's departure was like a resounding slap in the face and shattered all my illusions. I finally realized that I had done something wrong and that I had hurt an innocent person.

"That night, when I was ready to give up all my pretenses, take off all the baggage on my body, and just let myself do as I pleased, and not care about it, and not think about other consequences, I also hesitated countless times, because reason told me that once I broke through the relationship between superiors and subordinates, good friends, and the affairs between us, sooner or later, the people around us would know.

"However, the ghost makes the gods worse, and I can't help but throw myself into your arms like a moth to a fire.

"Wang Bo, being with you, committing myself to you, giving myself to you, until now, I have never regretted it! And to put it mildly, even a little shameless for a girl, I have never been as happy and happy as I was during the SARS school closure! I never thought that as a woman, it would be so beautiful and wonderful! I am grateful and cherish all the beauty and joy you have given me!

"Thank you, Wang Bo, I will cherish this incomparably beautiful memory between us for the rest of my life!

"For a while, I was extremely selfish, since Liang Ya has left you and ignored you, wouldn't that be my best chance for me? From now on, I can monopolize you, have you completely, I can be above board, and walk by your side like countless ordinary lovers around. If I were cheeky enough to make such a request to you, I don't think you would have refused.

This thought, this thought, was incomparably strong. I even encouraged myself and encouraged myself to tell myself that people are selfish, and on the road of chasing love and happiness, there is only a result, there is no right or wrong. Since Liang Ya chose to give up by herself, why should I be too harsh on myself? How wrong am I? Since the first day I met you, I have never taken the initiative to hook the bow with you? Even if I was gradually attracted to you, began to miss you, liked you, and finally fell in love with you, I have always tried my best to restrain my feelings for you. And the emotional matter, a slap can't be slapped, how wrong am I?

"For a long time in the past, I have used this kind of sophistry, this self-deception, to anesthetize myself, to try to convince myself and rationalize the fact that I am with you.

"I'm almost on the verge of success.

"Until I learned from Xinyue that Xiaoya actually crossed the ocean and flew away to the distant United States!

"Liang Ya's going abroad made me deeply aware of the contemptible and hateful disgraceful role I played between you and Liang Ya. No matter what fallacies I use to excuse myself and exonerate myself, I am the disgraceful third party after all, and the most direct culprit who drove Liang Ya away.

"I should be guilty, ashamed and sorry for this!

"I'm not sorry about that. As I said before, I don't regret anything about what happened. If things had gone back a few months and had happened again, the end result would have been like this. I probably still can't resist your charm and my own impulses, and willingly run downstairs to call you, and then cheer and hope that you will stay with me.

"I'm not blaming you. In the final analysis, whether it is me or you, as long as you are human, you cannot overcome your own weaknesses, you cannot erase your humanity and instincts, unless you are a saint. But no one has ever seen a saint, a saint is just a legend, and we are all sentient beings, ordinary people.

"Xiao Ya's resolute and unlooking departure not only shattered my unrealistic delusions, but also made me no longer able to face Xinyue, Xiangxiang and Xuexue. I couldn't even face Rowling. Whenever I am with them, I feel like countless eyes are piercing my body like thorns. They whispered to the side, and I would see them as whispers to me, and when they looked into my eyes, I would humbly think that there was sarcasm, disdain, and mockery in them.

"Now, even when I walk on campus outside C, I feel like there are countless people pointing at me behind my back, muttering criticism that I can't hear.

"Wang Bo, if it is simply the pressure from the outside, I don't think I will give in and surrender because of this, and give up the love I am currently with you that I will probably never meet again in the future.

"But I can't ignore my own heart, and that continuous judgment from conscience and morality is what made me choose to leave you in the end.

"Wang Bo, I like and love you deeply, it is you who let me see the vastness of the world and experience the beauty between the emotions of men and women.

"For that, I am very grateful.

"And for Liang Ya, I'm sorry. She may not believe it, and I don't want to hurt her at all. I once envied the twists and turns between the two of you, and finally after the erosion and test of time, it finally became a perfect relationship. This rare perfection in the world should not be destroyed, at least not by me, otherwise, even if I finally replace her, I will bear the shackles of guilt and will not be at peace for the rest of my life.

"Wang Bo, go find Liang Ya, explain everything to her, and save her painful and sore heart.

"The past between us, including last night, is a dream, a most beautiful dream, okay?

"This departure is very sudden, and it will cause a lot of inconvenience at work, so I will continue to use the phone for a while now, explain the situation to the person who called me, and let them come to you directly in the future. After a while, I'll change the number again.

"I'm leaving, Wang Bo. You don't have to look for me, you don't have to call me.

"In the end, no matter where I am, no matter what I do in the future, I will always bless you and Liang Ya!

"I sincerely wish you all the best, and take me to Xiaoya's most sincere apologies.

"Zheng Yan.

"13 September 2003. ”

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