Half a month later, the school closed for a big week.

When I went home on Saturday morning, stepped on the muddy path, and saw the dilapidated and familiar courtyard wall from afar, I would inexplicably think of Xue Xiaotong.

I thought of her sneering smile, her disdainful look, and her superior self-confidence.

I know that I shouldn't think about that, and I know that I should see my reality clearly, but that kind of suppressed emotion will unconsciously make people lower their heads.

It will also cover my eyes with an invisible layer of gray.

When I got home, I saw a truckload full of plastic bottles unloaded in the yard.

When my father saw me coming back, he hurriedly stood up with his crutches.

"Dad. "I'll walk over quickly.

"Come back, let's go inside and do your homework. ”

"I finished writing at school last night, and I changed my clothes to help you with the work. ”

I changed my clothes and sorted plastic bottles with my father.

Looking at these bottles, I thought of the scene where they put a table of garbage for me at school. The feeling that I couldn't say suddenly in my heart was as if I was pressed down on my chest by a boulder.

"Do all the people in your class know that you are a little girl who collects rags?" asked the father suddenly.

I looked at his old appearance that shouldn't belong to that age, and I couldn't help but feel a pain in my heart, and I squeezed out a smile and said, "No, the current students are all very good." ”

"You don't have to hide it from Dad. Dad is a person from the past, and your thoughts have been there. ”

"And what do you think when you are looked down upon by others?"

"I didn't think much of it......" he said and stopped there with a drink bottle in his hand, as if thinking about something, and then looked at me with deep eyes and asked, "Fei, do you know what desire is?"

"What you want to get, what you want to achieve, that's all desire. I put down the plastic bucket in my hand and said.

"Do you know what my desires are?"

"I hope I'm doing well? I hope I'll get good grades and go to a good university, right?" I replied with a smile.

"No, my desire is to live. He laughs.

It's just that the smile pierced my heart like a knife.

The sun was so strong that I felt a throb in my heart when it shone on his unconscious, shrinking left arm on the other side.

"The year your mother ran, I was looking for it in the winter without white or black, and I tossed myself down. Then I spent all my money in the hospital, and the desire that supported me at that time was to live. But you are different, you are able-bodied, and you are free from illness and disaster, so your desire cannot just live. ”

"My desire is for you to have a good life in the future. ”

"You are hope, not desire. Zhizi Mo Ruo's father, I can feel the change in your eyes, and I can also feel that your desires are suppressed. ”

"I didn't hold it down, I will work hard, and I will study hard. ”

He smiled and shook his head, obviously thinking I had misunderstood, and patiently explained, "You know what? If it weren't for the desire to 'live' to sustain me, I would have fallen long ago. Fei, you also need desire, but not the desire to live, but the most urgent desire in your heart. ”

"I want to make money, make a lot of money, earn so much that people can afford it, I want to get ahead," I said from the bottom ......of my heart.

Thinking of Xue Xiaotong's arrogant and belittled me, thinking of the way those roommates in the dormitory looked at me, and thinking of the slap on Liu Suyun's face, I immediately said what was in my heart!

Although these words are very materialistic, they have made me suddenly a lot more transparent.

When I thought my father was going to belittle me, he said, "Yes, that's a good desire! If you want to earn money so much, and you're a healthy person, then you're going to earn more than anyone else." Because a person with a strong desire will really act! ”

"Dad, do you feel ashamed to collect waste now?"

"No shame. ”

"No shame?" I wondered.

"At the beginning, I felt ashamed, but then I felt that with my own efforts, I would not make trouble for the government, not be a burden to the army, and strive for self-improvement, so what would I lose?"

"I ...... I saw a lot of plastic bottles in school, and if I collected them, I could earn a dozen yuan, do you think I should pick them up?"

"Don't ask others if you should pick it up, ask your own heart. If you don't know whether to pick it up or not, then I dare say that you are not mature, or you have not seen your own heart, or that your desires have not yet turned into action......"

"I don't understand. "I tell you the truth.

"Different people have different opinions about Dad picking up the rags, but I can't be swayed by others. When you do something, you have to ask your heart, our own heart knows right and wrong better than anyone else, Dad was a soldier, and there is always a party flag and military flag in his heart, Dad is not showing off. Dad can not pick up the rags, Dad can go to petition, Dad can cheat on medical insurance, Dad can borrow money from his comrades-in-arms, and many comrades-in-arms are good. But you say that your dad can I do that? I can't go, although I can get rich and fulfill my desire to live, but that desire is not the right desire. ”

"But there must have been a lot of people who have done that, right?"

"Yes, there is, the world is so big, everyone has it. Some people will cheat their comrades-in-arms out of their money, and they will curse that the party and the state are not good enough for them, because their hearts are polluted, and they can't discern their own hearts. Your dad I don't rely on those means, because I asked my heart, if I do that, I will be sorry for the military uniform I once wore, I will be sorry for the military flag hanging in the house! When I picked up the rags, I asked myself, am I doing this right? My heart tells me that it is right! I don't rely on others to eat, I work with my own hands, I am a little tired, but I do not let my heart be polluted, I have a clear conscience, my heart is bright until death......

Light?

"Fei...... You must always remember four words – 'This heart is bright'. Each of us has desires, or material desires, or emotional desires, or other things that we really want to get, but when these desires arise, we must ask ourselves one thing, that is, whether this desire can be put under the sun, whether it can be understood by others. ”

"You're still saying that I can't pick up the school garbage, right?"

The father smiled and said, "Well, but I also want to remind you in the future." ”

"I'll pick it up. I laughed.

After hearing this, the brightness in his eyes suddenly dimmed, and then he sighed deeply and said, "I, who is a father, have wronged you after all." ”

"Dad, you educated me, I understand. ”

My father was the second person who played an important role in my life, besides parsley.

If Fu Xiangqin taught me how to behave, then my father taught me how to cultivate my mind.

Looking at his old appearance, my eyes gradually began to brighten.

&

I slept in the afternoon, and when I woke up, I walked to the front of the photo frame and looked at the old photos of my father who used to be a soldier.

Valiant!

If my father hadn't been severely disabled, I believe he would have been a man of great achievement. From his conversation, I can feel that it is different from ordinary people.

That heart, all that is bright, can shine.

turned to see the only mother's wedding photo next to him, and his heart was also full of waves.

I'm sixteen years old.

Although I don't understand love, I have begun to passively come into contact with love.

Xue Xiaotong's love for Zhang Yang, Zhang Yang's rejection of Xue Xiaotong, and the ambiguity between other students on campus are all irrepressibly revealed in those precocious classmates.

That kind of thing called love begins to sprout in our hearts, and there will eventually be a day when it grows into a towering tree.

At this moment, looking at the photo of her mother, I was no longer more touched by the sadness when she was killed, but curiosity.

I'm curious,

What kind of love pain can make her delirious?

I'm curious,

What a perfect officer made her the woman who died for chasing military vehicles and love?

"Fei!" my father called out to me in the courtyard.

I hurried out and saw him get off the tricycle, "I'm going to buy a pig's trotter, come on!"

"Thank you, Dad!" I hurriedly took it.

At dinner, the two of us chatted while eating.

After eating and washing the dishes, my father asked me to go to the house to study.

When Ying Sheng went to the bedroom, his father said again: "Don't look too late, get up early tomorrow and go to the city to see your mother Xiangqin, she must miss you." ”

"I know. I laughed.

After turning around and closing the door, the smile on his face suddenly faded.

I miss her very much, but I don't know why, I just can't be happy.

In the family at this moment, when I think of the wealth of Zhang Liang's family, there will be a conflict stirring in my heart.

However, it is undeniable that I really want to think about Parsley Mom.

&

The next day, I went to the station early in the morning.

At half past nine in the morning, we arrived in Hangang City.

Because I called Fu Xiangqin in advance through my father's mobile phone, I saw Zhang Liang as soon as I got out of the bus station.

I'm still very angry with him, because he secretly hid the letter Lu Li wrote to me.

"It's not easy to come back, don't look at me like that, okay?" Zhang Liang said with a smile. The pimples on his face are very luxuriant, but those eyes are very similar to his father, and he will definitely be a police officer in the future.

"I don't need you to carry me, I'll go by myself. I said, walking forward step by step.

"Oh, it's so hot, come on!" he said, riding his bicycle beside him.

"No, it's not hot. ”

"Oh, isn't it because of Lu Li's business? You're still angry! Won't I pay you back?"

"......" I continued without saying a word.

"Hey!" he suddenly stopped his bicycle and shouted behind him, "Don't be angry, Lu Li has a letter!"