The late autumn nights in the north were very cold, so I shrunk my collar to keep the cold wind from pouring into my neck.

It's only nine o'clock now, and it's Sunday again, and this living area is very lively, whether it is the street food stalls or the shops of various food stalls, they are full of people.

A pair of young couples snuggled up to each other, smiling and feeding each other's mouths with all kinds of delicious food in their hands, which looked very warm and brought a lot of warmth to this cold autumn night.

That's what the night should look like.

I'm always thinking about what the world should look like, what life should look like, and what I should look like.

On the one hand, I want to live my ideal life, but on the other hand, I am always entangled in reality and forced me not to do those things.

When standing at a junction, our mind actually knows which way is right, but the drifting mind and conformist body will always force us to take the step against our heart.

Then the mouth was comforting himself: no way, no way.

I'm very distressed, so I'm very hypocritical, and I always like to feel sorry for myself.

But I also blame this on the fact that I don't have any pressure in life, maybe if I were the kind of people who know people and do their best to live for their lives, my state of mind is definitely not like this.

With a mortgage on his back, his son is about to go to school, but he has never been able to break through 15 points in mathematics; his daughter-in-law is facing unemployment and keeps arguing when he comes home every day; and his parents have not had regular physical examinations, which has led to frequent outbreaks of geriatric diseases.

And himself, no one has reached middle age, actually, he is still gone.

If my life becomes like this, I will certainly not have time to think about it, but will I be satisfied with this kind of life, of course, the answer is no.

As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather commit suicide by poisoning myself or be shot to death by the enemy, rather than let my children stand in front of the hospital bed and say to me when I'm old: "Dad, you can go with peace of mind, I will have to work overtime in a while, and I won't be able to accompany you on the last journey of old age." ”

I don't like everything about me, but at least everything about me is different.

Standing on the bus stop and looking at the sign indicating that the last bus to the city was gone half an hour ago, but since I was already out, wouldn't it be in vain to go back like this.

The moonlight is not bad tonight, or a few steps ahead.

Thinking of this, he threw a cigarette into his mouth and walked down the road in the direction of the city.

The road in the suburbs was quiet, and there was no noise at all, and even the sound of the wind could be heard.

However, because it is so remote, pedestrians and vehicles on the road are flashing by, and there are no conditions to install street lights, the cigarette butt in my mouth has become the only light source in my sight.

I don't know if I'm used to being lonely, but sometimes I like the feeling of no one bothering me, walking alone on the road, and designing various characters for myself in my head, I just need to immerse myself in it and enjoy it.

At least, at least compared to the various hypocritical characters in reality, we can take off the mask in our own world.

Unconsciously walked for a long time, and the night was deeper.

I, on the other hand, still didn't feel sleepy, but became very alert.

I can identify the direction of the surrounding wind and grass at the first time, not only that, but I can also flick the cigarette butt over and accurately hit the target, not blowing, there is evidence.

"Your uncle, do you have a sense of public morality, and you play cigarette butts indiscriminately at night. ”

A guy in a jacket, with a stiff haircut, a stubbled beard, who looked about my age, scolded me with a slick face.