As soon as the Chinese teacher turned around, Lu Xun was willing to be a son of a cow

The math teacher can ask for six yuan six times when he turns around

As soon as the English teacher turned around, he traveled all over the world with foreign languages

The physics teacher turned around and leveraged the earth

As soon as the chemistry teacher turned around, carbon dioxide turned into gasoline

As soon as the labor teacher turned around, he came to the catwalk

As soon as the physical education teacher turned around, Daiyu was able to play football

One day, I went to buy eggs with a white cat in my arms, and the boss said, "Beauty, you are so big." ”

I glared at my boss

The boss said, "Beauty, you Mimi is so white." ”

I replied, "Don't talk nonsense, be careful that I crush your eggs." ”

"Mom, am I your own?" "Silly boy, of course. "Mom, I want to buy Apple 6" "That year, there was a weak cry in the grass and a weak cry came from the grass, and your father and I walked over curiously......" "Mom, I understand, I make my own money to buy it." "What a mother's good boy. "Mom, in fact, I have money, I just want to see if you treat me well. "There was a dog lying in the grass. "But there is still a gap of 2,000 yuan to buy a high allocation. "A child in my mouth" "Okay, that's enough......"

Today I saw a car accident, a woman was hit by a big truck when crossing the street, her face was rubbed five or six meters away from the ground, and only a foundation mark was left on the ground, the woman stood up and left...

1. When cooking in the cafeteria, "Ah Yu, give me an aunt"

2. Buy grilled sausages and say: Grilled sausages, come to the root boss

3. I want to fly like Liu Lan

4. On the road, I met an old man who was carrying something, and I wanted to go up to help him carry it, so I casually said "Old things, uncle, I'll help you carry them"

5. When I went to the street to buy vegetables, I met my second uncle, and I opened my mouth and shouted, "Buy uncle, second dish!" I was rewarded by my second uncle for sweeping the hall

6. You kid don't want a dick! Believe it or not, I'll call a cart of bread people to beat you!

7. A text in elementary school is called Dong Cunrui bombing the dark fort. At that time, he was called up to read aloud. I thought I was very emotional, and the whole class laughed and peed when I read the first sentence aloud, "Dong Cunruishe fried hamburger"

8. I remember when I was in elementary school, there was a text called Waterfall, and in the middle it was said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in the middle of the mountain. One of my female classmates read the same emotional recitation, "When I turned this mountain, I was stunned, and a rag hung in the middle of the mountain."

9. I want to fly like Liu Lan

10. At one point, I "I don't know why every time the alarm clock doesn't wake me up"

11. When I was a child, I don't know why, a grain of sand fell into my eyes, and while crying, I said, "Mom! My eyes fell into the sand!", and my mother was so frightened that she rushed out without wearing her shoes

1. Lu Xun: "Good night!". Chinese teacher: The word "evening" in "Good Night" points out the time, which is reminiscent of the dark sky, symbolizing the darkness of the society at that time. However, under this dark sky, people feel "peaceful", which reflects the numbness of the people, and the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence reflects Lu Xun's "sadness and anger" to the people's numbness. Lu Xun: ". . . ”

2. Lu Xun: Eat me a strong King Kong palm

Interpretation: It vigorously represents the strength of the force, shows the huge force of the reactionaries at that time, and at the same time expresses the revolutionary spirit of the Communist Party in the face of might. King Kong expresses the strong and unyielding will and fiery heart of the revolutionary party. The palm is at the heart of this sentence, warning people that in the face of reactionaries, they must use their hands to achieve victory. There is no punctuation mark at the end, which illustrates Mr. Lu Xun's infinite expectations and imagination for future life

A buddy was drunk driving at night, and when he encountered JC checking the car, he pushed the car door and ran. This guy called his wife while running and asked the police to say that the family car had just been stolen. The next day, the car was found, and I went to pick up the car with a pennant and a thank you letter, and the atmosphere was warm and peaceful, and the buddies were very excited to hold JC's hand.

JC said: It's all what we should do, last night that kid ran too fast, and he looked like a car thief.

A van carried 14 people. A passenger in the back said to the driver: You are overloaded, and you will be deducted a lot of points if you are caught! The driver turned around and smiled calmly: Deduct points, then you must have a driver's license! Suddenly, countless gasping sounds filled the car... The driver said: It's okay, the wine is strong, and I drank a pound of two pots at noon, what are I afraid of? Everyone was so nervous that they broke out in a cold sweat. Then another passenger said: Why don't you take the driver's license test? Driver: Myopia of more than 2,000 degrees, and the right leg is still a prosthesis, how can you take the test! The passenger asked: Are you not afraid that driving without a license will be sentenced? Driver: What are you afraid of if Lao Tzu is mentally ill? The whole car was silent! A passenger said in a trembling heart: I want to get out of the car! Driver: What kind of car to get out of? The brakes have broken early! Hold on steadily, go downhill...

A rich man was walking his dog when a killer jumped out of the grass and shot the dog twice. The rich man was furious: Why did you kill my dog? The killer sneered: Someone spent 5 million yuan to let me take your dog's life! The rich man glanced at the killer, shook his hand excitedly, and said: Who is your Chinese teacher? I want to send her a red envelope!

The next day, the killer came out of the grass again and snatched the rich man's ihone6, and the rich man said, "Why are you robbing me of my apple?" The killer said, because someone paid 10 million to let me take your head. The rich man shook his hand excitedly and said, "Who is your Chinese teacher?"

When it rained at night, the rich man felt that it was the best policy to run for his life, so he took a big umbrella and wanted to sneak out of the door quietly, but as soon as he arrived at the back door, the killer came out again: "Hey, hey, hey! I knew you were going to go through the back door, and I was waiting for you!" The killer snatched the umbrella with his left hand, and with his right hand, he stuffed the mobile phone he had snatched in the evening directly into the rich man's arms! "My master is so clever, he knew that you would take the umbrella out, he didn't want to talk to me today, so he directly gave me a note and asked me to come and ask for your umbrella!" After speaking, he threw down the note and walked away. The rich man picked it up and looked at it, and the wild grass with an angry pen: "Don't want a mobile phone, I want his life!"

The rich man knelt down directly, "Teacher, where are you?......

It was so dangerous last night, I checked drunk driving in front, I just came out after drinking, and I already knew that I wouldn't take this road.

The traffic police are getting closer and closer, my heart is beating suddenly, and my palms are full of sweat.

I want to run away, but there are police in front of me, and I can't run, it's my turn,

I blew on the wine tester, and the machine chirped wildly, thinking that I couldn't hide this time...

The police yelled at me, get out of here, and follow the walking to make a lot of fun!

Damn! I drank too much and forgot to drive!

: Here's my personal experience:

In 1997, he studied at the Special Forces School in Munich, Germany;

In 1998, he studied psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

In 2000, he joined the Navy SEALs;

In 2003, he broke into Japan's intelligence system and obtained 10 top-secret documents, bankrupting his war plot;

In 2005, he went on a mission to Syria and successfully rescued 3,000 hostages

In 2006, he was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize

In 2008, he participated in the U.S. presidential election and lost by 1 vote

In 2011, he was asked by Obama to return to the Navy SEALs, and killed bin Laden in the same year

In 2015, he was nominated as the most influential person in the world;

In 2016, I gave up the glory of my life to play ball with you

Keep your eyes closed when it's dark.

Banhua came to class in a miniskirt, I deliberately dropped the pen on the ground and bent down to pick it up, but I saw the pink little *** After a while, Banhua threw a note to me, which read: The campus grove will be seen tonight. In the evening, I went to the grove, there were five or six boys in it, and Banhua pulled a boy and said, "Cousin, he is the one who eats my tofu." The boy immediately came up with another person and surrounded me, and then said, "Big brother, why are you here?" I asked the two brothers to tie Banhua to the tree, I was going to let her see the true colors of the boy, an hour later, looking at the pale face of Banhua, I was a little distressed, I really shouldn't let her see me explode five or six boys' chrysanthemums at once, to see that she scared, what a sin. As soon as I untied Banhua's rope, she said charmingly: Big brother is very powerful, I want to try it too. After speaking, he took out the ** and pressed me to the ground......