The wine was sucked into the depths of his body like air, but the air in his body dissipated inch by inch, and the lost feelings inside became more and more pale. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

Perhaps it was swallowed by the liquor, and all the colors became transparent.

He felt an unspeakable emotion running through his blood, taking the temperature away from his body, making him feel a coldness that eventually went numb.

He sensed a vacancy, but what was wrong?

He took a sip of the amber liquor, his mouth was completely numb, and the people around him seemed to be ghosted, looking blurry and speechless.

Why is this happening?

Odd.

He glanced at the ceiling, where the black spotlights shone with a dazzling glow, like a male white peacock with its tail outstretched, blooming white flowers.

The glimmer carried sadness and passed by his eyes.

He vaguely remembered the white body in the dark, the soft lips, the slender skin, and the indescribable sweet scent of Casablanca.

It was mixed with the scent of milk, the smell of hormones, chaotic and dark.

Bells.

There was a feeling of water flowing deep inside his body, something slowly extending and expanding from the position of his feet, and he was suffocating, as if he had lost breathing syndrome.

The blood and oxygen in the lobes of the lungs kneaded into an invisible thread, and there was an inexplicable sense of desolation at the bottom of the heart, missing a piece of what he should have.

What is it?

"What do you think?" jeon smiled.

"Nothing. Li Mu rubbed his temples and took a deep breath.

Crimson stained his cheeks and forehead, his temples flushed, and his breath smelled of alcohol, and he felt his mouth dry.

"Drink some water. Quan Zhaoyan poured him a glass of mineral water.

I don't know when.

Almost everyone in the room was lying down, and only the two of them were still awake.

The crisp music flows, an unknown piano piece, but it seems to have a vacant emotion, a wordless vacancy.

"Thank you. Li Mu took a sip of water.

A sweet sensation spread in his mouth, and he gradually found consciousness.

"It doesn't seem to be going well. She leaned back on the couch and drank the whiskey from her glass.

"Perhaps. Li Mu glanced out the window.

It was dark, the sky was slightly dark, the lights were on, and the stars in the sky were drowned in light and shadow.

"What do you think?"

"What?"

"It may snow tomorrow. She walked to the window and looked out at the night.

"Hmm. Li Mu closed his eyes and rested.

"It's always going to be like this, everybody is selfish, isn't it?"

"How to say. ”

"For the sake of yourself, but also, to be born as a human being, to live is also to yourself, and it is really boring to live for others. She laughed.

"Hmm. ”

Li Mu opened his eyes and took a deep breath again.

The smell of alcohol poured deep into the lobes of his lungs, as if to sink his body into a sea of alcohol, perhaps he was already inside.

"Some people aren't meant to be together. ”

"So what's the matter. Li Mu supported his body and stood up.

"Of course it matters, isn't it a sin to let people fall deeper and deeper even though they know that they can't be together?" she turned her head slightly, and the corners of her eyes opened with a moist feeling.

It's just that the tail of the eye is upturned, and there is a hint of a smile, but that smile seems a little strange, as if with heavy shackles, as if something is sealed.

"Possibly. ”

"It's just that the victims like to be silent, and maybe they're enjoying the evil, it's disgusting. ”

"Maybe not enjoyment. ”

"What's that?" she turned, a few drops of wine spilling from her white shirt, like some kind of mysterious spell with a swirling gravitational pull.

"It's just to bear it, if you don't bear it, then what should you do?" Li Mu seemed to ask himself.

"Wouldn't it be nice to let go?"

"There was nothing left, only a void. Li Mu opened his left hand, and the ring on his ring finger was tightly clamped to it.

"That's the best, there is no fulcrum, people want to be free, but they are afraid of losing it. ”

"A part of freedom is enough. Li Mu took out his mobile phone.

Click on the screen, it's a picture of her, just what is she doing at the moment?

"Not enough, far from enough. ”

"Isn't it true that the more you want, the harder it is to get?"

"Then why don't you let go?"

"I didn't want too much, I just needed some warmth. Li Mu looked down at the reflection in the cup.

"That's already a lot, so many people just survived for those warmth, but unfortunately many people didn't get it until they died, and even used death to deprive that part of the right to warmth. ”

"Hmm. ”

That's a really annoying answer. She walked towards him, slowly but surely.

In a moment.

She walked up to him, her long hair falling on his cheeks, a tingling sensation spreading from above, and a soft scent of hair.

Her face was as usual, there was no makeup on her face, just some lipstick, bright red, a little unbelievably red, like blood.

"Perhaps. Li Mu looked up.

"It's just that the smell on your body is too similar, and it looks so different. She held out her right hand, the tips of her index and middle fingers running across his cheeks.

"Like whom?"

"A dead guy. ”

"The one with the brains broken?"

"Yes. ”

"I'm not going to kill myself. Li Mu shook his head.

"You're so strong, I should say 'selfish'. ”

"Aren't you too? The person you like is different from me. ”

"I know, so I said, I just want to have a relationship. She sat beside him, glancing at the ceiling, the corners of her mouth curled slightly.

"Why bother. Li Mu half-closed his eyes.

"You don't understand, I also want to end these things, but I can't end them, I dream every night, maybe like Freud said, dreams are the satisfaction of subconscious desires.

If that part is not satisfied, I will always have this kind of dream. She pulled out the red-shelled Marlboro, took out a cigarette, put it in her mouth, and lit a fire.

"How long?"

"Do it all the time. ”

"Don't go to a psychiatrist?"

"It's useless to go, but fortunately, I'm getting used to it, and I don't feel very tired, but the dream has become a part of the body. ”

"Those who can dream are lucky people. ”

"I'd rather be unlucky. ”

"Hmm. Li Mu continued to look at his phone.

The blue-white smoke rings wafted away, the strong smell of smoke seeped into his nasal passages, and he coughed.

"You're really persistent. ”

"That's the only plus. Li Mu smiled.

"Don't you feel tired? I keep repeating myself and getting no response. ”

"Because I believe in her. Li Mu bowed his head.

"Sometimes it's useless to believe that she might be happy somewhere. ”

"Then I'm happy, too. Li Mu took a deep breath.

"You don't look happy. ”

"Melancholy joy. Li Mu smiled.

"Stay with me today. She reached down.

"No need. Li Mu grabbed her wrist and shook her head.

"Why? It's just a relationship, and you're not in that relationship with her, and I'm not asking you to be accountable to me. ”

"I'm responsible for myself. Li Mu shook his head.

"How responsible?"

"I've made my choice, and if I change my choice, then I'm not who I am. ”

"What if it's not you? Everybody isn't who they are. ”

"But I've made my choice. ”

"Forget it, haha, I'm also crazy to do this kind of thing to you. She laughed, tears bursting out of the corners of her eyes.

"It's better to be crazy than to pretend to be normal. ”

"So you accept even your crazy self?"

"Possibly. Li Mu smiled.

Nasty answer. She tossed the cigarette butt into the ashtray.

"I'm leaving. Li Mu got up.

"I'll give it to you. She got up.

"No, you've drunk. ”

"But I wasn't drunk. She smiled.

"Hmm. Li Mu nodded.

Downstairs.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Li Mu looked out the window.

"There are a lot of people, but unfortunately there is no one who can understand you. She said.

"I don't need people to understand me. Li Mu smiled.

"So what exactly do you need?"

"It's just some warmth. ”

"It's a pity that that person won't be with you in the future. Jeon Zhaoyan smiled.

"It's okay, I'll wait. Li Mu touched his left chest.

The feeling of emptiness is still there, what is she doing at the moment?

"Hopefully it will work, though I don't think much of you. Jeon Zhaoyan smiled.

"Do you know her secret?"

"It's not a secret, it's just a boring role-play, but a lot of people take it as a fact. She smiled weirdly.

"Really?"

"Well, but I don't know how long it will take to play, you're luckier than me, at least if you wait, there is still hope. ”

"You just didn't untie the bad clock around your neck. ”

"It's not that easy to unravel, at least a qualified guy is needed. ”

"I'm certainly not that qualified guy. ”

"I think you can. ”

"Let's find someone else. ”

"Hmm. Jeon continued to laugh.

Arrived downstairs at Li Mu's house.

Li Mu got out of the car, and Quan Zhaoyan drove away.

Instead of going home, he went to the coffee shop he frequented, ordered a cup of coffee, sat down in his place, rummaged for a long time, and found nothing.

"Am I too stupid?" Li Mu returned home.

When I opened the phone screen, there were two messages on it, one was from Chen Sisi and the other was from Kim Gaoen.

Mr. Chen said he was waiting for Thanksgiving to come.

Kim said she was thinking about a question that she needed his help answering.

Buzzing.

"I'm sorry, because it's too busy. ”

The Kakaotalk icon floats on the screen, along with a piece of text.

The moment Li Mu saw it, his heart jumped slightly, all the vacancies seemed to be filled in an instant, and an inexplicable feeling of warmth spread from the depths of his body.

"It's fine. Li Mu typed on the screen.

"ff, that's good, work today, so ......"

"It's fine. ”

"Cut, didn't miss me?"

"I thought about it, I thought it very much. ”

"Do you want to hear my voice?"

"Yes. ”

"I'll call you. ”

Buzzing.

The phone vibrates.

Li Mu answered the phone.

"Well, are you there?"

Her voice was slightly jerky.

"In. Li Mu said.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little busy today, I wanted to reply to you, but suddenly ......"

"What's wrong?"

"No, I just want to make you anxious all of a sudden, and I don't know what's going on. She paused slightly.

"Well, I'm in a hurry. ”

"Drunk?"

"Drink a little. ”

"With whom?"

"Seniors. ”

"Badass, actually with her. ”

"There are others, too. ”

"Didn't do anything weird?"

"Nope. ”

"It's going to be busy tomorrow, okay?"

"It doesn't matter. Li Mu paused slightly.

"That's good, yes, FF, I got the pink blindfold. ”

"Who sent it?"

"It's from the company, don't think too much, ff, pink panther, it's cute. ”

"You're cuter. ”

"What are you doing?"

"I was in a daze just now. ”

"Stupid, sometimes I really can't accompany you. ”

"Hmm. ”

"I miss you. ”

"I know. ”

"Whew, won't you be lonely?"

"It's been lonely from yesterday to today. ”

"FF, do you want me?"

"Very much. ”

"It's a pity that it can't be done now, and I have to go abroad next month, alas. ”

"Come on. Li Mu said.

"Okay, by the way, I won't be able to speak again for a while. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Can you bear it?"

"Yes. ”

"That's good, ff, I'll miss you. ”

"Me too. ”

"Stupid, I'm really sorry. ”

"Don't say you're sorry, you don't need to say things like that. ”

"I forgot about it again, it just feels unfair to you. ”

"It's fine. ”

"Would I be sad if I didn't like you?"

"Yes. Li Mu said in a low voice.

"His voice is hoarse. ”

"Suddenly I felt that way. Li Mu took a deep breath.

He glanced out the window.

The night was so deep that it looked like ink that couldn't be dissolved.

"What does it feel?"

"I don't know, I always feel like I've lost something. ”

"Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Thank you for staying with me for so long. ”

"You're welcome. ”

"Hey. ”

"What's wrong?"

"Do you really remember me?"

"Never forgotten. ”

"That's good, don't forget me, okay?"

"Good. ”

"Anyway, my dear, can I call you that?"

"Yes. ”

"Poon, dear, I'm going to be busy right now. ”

"Hmm. ”

The phone hangs up.

Li Mu glanced at his phone and sighed slightly.

Her profile picture has been changed to a back, with long hair and a pink eye patch, and a white thread dress.

Changed the signature to read: "lost."

Li Mu clenched his fists slightly, let go again, and his heartbeat became a little abnormal.

Is she really happy?

So why is he a little uncomfortable?

Buzzing.

"Hey, Lion Bear. "It's t.

"How?"

"Did you see her picture today?"

"Which do you say?"

"With the Pink Panther. ”

"Nope. ”

"Really, you had a fight?"

"Nope. ”

"That's good, crazy_man, fighting!"

"Thank you. ”

"Aside from that, there's a lot to do. ”

"Hmm. ”

Li Mu shook his head.

Time has an unknown nature that makes everything known complicated and unpredictable.

He lay on the bed, constantly looking at her previous photos, looking for the marks on them, and every time he looked at them, he had a different feeling.

He remembered a conversation with her.

She always seemed to be hiding something, but what it was was unknown, and he didn't ask explicitly, let alone explore it.

When darkness falls, it always catches people off guard, and when it comes, it just happens in an instant that people can't perceive it.

He fell into a kind of confusion, and his memories seemed to become a little confused, what was going on?

What went wrong?

Buzzing.

Buzzing.

Buzzing.

In the peculiar vibration sound, he slowly woke up, turned on his phone, and it turned out to be her message.

"Are you there?"

"Why don't you speak?"

"What's going on?"

Li Mu sighed slightly and replied, "I seem to have fallen asleep just now, I'm sorry." ”

"That's good, I thought something happened to you, and now you're not busy. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Are you okay?"

"It's fine. ”

"Uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. ”

"Stupid, pay attention to your body, you are alone now, and you don't have many friends here, what if something happens?"

"Good. ”

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know, suddenly there was some confusion. ”

"Really, I'm ...... too."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, because it's getting closer, there's always a sense of unease, maybe we're really not as suitable as we imagined......"

"Really?"

"Well, I've been in love too. ”

"I know. ”

"I was happy when I was with you, and I wasn't unhappy after we separated, but I just thought about something and became more and more uneasy. ”

"Why?"

"I don't know, it's just that something changes in an instant. ”

"It doesn't matter. ”

"It's related, it's a moment, it's really weird, a lot of things always come without warning, maybe from the time we met, that change was going on. ”

"Possibly. ”

"At that moment, it was almost coming. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Alas, have you ever thought that something that would not have happened to you at all. ”

"Nope. ”

"But this kind of thing always happens. ”

"I know. ”

"You know what?"

"What?"

"It's actually a lot of fun. ”

"Me too. ”

"I knew that some of the results would be terrible, and I couldn't help but want to try. ”

"I'll be with you. ”

"FF, tell me a story, as before. ”

"Good. ”

Li Mu called.

"Well, ff, it's me. She laughed.

"Hmm. ”

"I want to hear Jazz today, too. ”

"Good. Li Mu came to the living room and turned on the record player.

The music flows.

There seemed to be few stars on a winter night, perhaps hidden in the darkness and not wanting to come out.

He opened the book and read it slowly.

"You have such a nice voice, stupid. ”

"Well, it's just your voice. ”

"FF, then you won't talk to anyone in the future?"

"Say it in another voice. ”

"FF, isn't that going to change your voice?"

"Almost. ”

"It feels like you're depressed today. ”

"Nope. ”

"Cut, obviously. ”

"Not really. ”

"Okay, okay, show you my picture. "The photo was sent and it was a picture of a pink panther lying with her.

She made a mosaic in her face.

"Mosaic. ”

"FF, it's not time yet, not Christmas. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Wait for me, okay?"

"Good. ”

"Keep reading, I want to hear it for a long time, today T said he wanted to see my feet. ”

"And then?"

"I showed it to her, and she liked it very much. ”

"I like it too. ”

"FF, she said, you're actually a good person. ”

"I'm a badass. ”

"Why, that's a gentle villain too. ”

"Hmm. ”

"We've had too much coffee and haven't slept well lately. ”

"Drink yogurt later. ”

"But still like to drink coffee. ”

"Hmm. ”

"Isn't it a bit unhealthy to like dyeing your hair, getting tattoos, and drinking alcohol?"

"A little, regular exercise is fine. ”

"It's just that the amount of alcohol is too bad, alas, otherwise I would have been able to drink with them for a long time. ”

"Poor alcohol consumption is also a benefit. ”

"Well, I really want to see your face. ”

"Video?"

"FF, okay. ”

Video calls.

Li Mu took it.

Half of the face is reflected on the screen.

"It's beautiful. ”

"You can't see all of my face, ff, there's something on your face. ”

"What?"

"Cream. ”

"I accidentally rubbed it. Li Mu rubbed his face.

"Wait for me. ”

"Hmm. ”

"There are five days left. ”

"Good. ”

"Whew, I want to see you like this all the time. ”

"As you wish. ”

"But no, there's still a lot to do, can we really be together?"

"Nothing is impossible. ”

"FF, hang up, I can't help it if I look at you again. ”

"Good. ”

Buzzing.

The phone rings.

Li Mu picks up.

"Keep telling me stories, my dear. ”

"Good. Li Munian.

Her breathing deepened.

"Good night. Li Mu whispered and hung up the phone.

Lying on the bed, he fell into a deep sleep.

November 24, 2016, Thanksgiving.

Li Mu got up and sent her a message.

"FF, so proactive today?"

"Wake up early. ”

"Hmm, I'm going to brush my teeth and take a shower, what about you?"

"Study to work. ”

“fighting！”

"Hmm. ”

After Li Mu took a bath, cooked, and then had breakfast.

Come downstairs.

Zhou Xue was waiting for him.

Get into the car.

"What's going on? Mental state seems to be very poor. She asked.

"A little tired, there are a few days of depression every month, and people who are happy every day are fools. Li Mu said.

"That's right, you're like that. Zhou Xue smiled.

The car is turned on.

Li Mu looked out the window.

The sky is clearer than yesterday.

Buzzing.

"In?"

"Hmm. ”

"I've thought about it. ”

"What?"

"I shouldn't have done that to you. ”

"How?"

"Well, I'm sorry, you shouldn't use cold violence. ”

"Really?" asked Li Mu.

"Well, from now on, we'll reconcile again. ”

"There is no separation either. Li Mu smiled.

For some reason, he thought the sky was lovely.

"FF, it doesn't matter what, we've been together since then. ”

"Good. ”

"You really don't care, even if I'm a murderer?"

"It doesn't matter. ”

"FF, I know, will you accompany me to kill someone?"

"Yes, it's enough to eat human flesh. ”

"Cut, I'm definitely not going to eat it. ”

"That's good. ”

"But you have to be prepared then, we're going to have a lot of suffering, maybe the police will chase you, FF. ”

"It's okay, I'll practice my marksmanship. ”

"Got it, wait for me, come on today. ”

"You too. ”

k no longer reply.

"Boy, you seem to be happy again. ”

"Hmm. Li Mu said.

"Strange fellow, do your job today. ”

"Don't worry, it will earn you a lot of money. Li Mu got out of the car.

Walk into the hotel.

Li Mu greeted them, changed his clothes and came to the kitchen, and Jin Feng and Cui Xiangzhe also arrived one after another. (To be continued.) )