A new idea2013-10-919:32Read (445)

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Recently, I feel unwell again, my eyes seem to have signs of glaucoma, pain in the blood vessels on the side of my face, insomnia at night, and no energy. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info I am more and more disgusted with the city, disgusted with the sound of cars, disgusted with the neon here, disgusted with the crowds of people, I feel like I am going to suffocate, this seems to be a city that makes people sick, both physically and psychologically.

Before I resigned, I thought about going back to my hometown to recuperate for a while, purify for a year in that small village that has no quarrel with the world, coarse tea and light meals, take a walk in the mountains and forests, and breathe freely...... But I didn't do that after I quit, and now my inner voice tells me that I have to do it.

People always say in literature and art that there should be a trip that you can just go, but when you really stand at the door and face the strange world outside, do you really have the courage to take that step? Even if you take that step, how far can you persist in going? People actually have a lot of ideas, and some ideas are very good and will affect people's whole life, but they don't have enough courage to carry them out, and they only think about it vaguely when they sleep at night, and they still wake up the next day and still live a life that they hate.

People have such a servile nature, and they still bind themselves in a cage when they have the opportunity to change.

The great men in history were not born great, they just carried out their inner thoughts, and that kind of idea is actually shared by everyone, the difference is just that they are executed. There are countless people who are quite emperors, but how many people dare to revolt? Great people must have the power to carry out great ideas.

I can't be a great man of history, but I want to be a great man of my own.

Before, my cage was work, and then this cage was broken by me. Now, my cage is the city, and I have to break it too. I knew I was going to realize this inner thought soon, just as I had done so many times before, and I knew the benefits of doing so.

The first time I did this was when I was 15 years old, when I had a crush on a girl for two and a half years, but I was afraid to speak, I didn't even speak much, and I was nervous in front of her. But one day, when I mustered up the courage to do big in my life, carried out my heart's thoughts, and held her directly in my arms, she did not refuse me, and became my girlfriend.

That was the first time I carried out my inner thoughts, which were not physiological, not to eat and drink, but to a higher spiritual level. Later, I have been benefiting from them, and when those ideas arise, I know that I cannot destroy them, but only to do it with this will. Including the writing of novels, including the two resignations that followed, they were the result of executing their inner thoughts. These ideas were perhaps some of the greatest in my life that changed my life, and I am glad that I mustered up the courage to carry them out, otherwise it would have been all for nothing.

This time, this new idea was so strong that it took over my heart, rooted in every corner of my soul, and I had to make it happen.

Another winter is coming, another year has passed, and the rest of my life is getting less and less, but I can't regret more and more.

――2013.10.9 Huang Huayi