Volume 12: Fairy Tale Flowers of Hell (20)

Tao Youjing asked him what he was afraid of, Feng Rong thought, of course he was afraid, his first eighteen years of life had no good memories at all, those times that would make his heart dull when he thought about it completely distorted his heart, and the next nine years he couldn't help himself, creating another distorted personality, his life hidden in the shadows was like his name known by everyone, dark puppet, dark dark, puppet puppet, he was a puppet pulled by darkness, the thread around his hand was passed on different people in turn, dragging him stumbling forward, the only time he got a new life was because Lin Yingkong cut the invisible puppet lineBut how does he know that one day those threads will not be wrapped around him again, and let him be the walking dead again? Just like Tao Youjing said, the princess and the prince in the fairy tale live happily together, and they may have been vividly destroyed by reality outside the story.

Feng Rong asked, "You want to cure me?"

Tao Youjing looked at him, calmly and bluntly, "I don't want to hand over Xiao Qi's life to a person who is in an unstable state. ”

Feng Rong felt a little funny, "Before you chose to let Shang Gong come to me, you should have considered this problem. ”

Tao Youjing didn't care, "Because I think I can cure you." ”

Feng Rong was silent for a few seconds, "I admit it, in fact, I don't want to upset the current balance. ”

Tao Youjing's amber eyes moved, "You are one of the most interesting people I have ever met, in every sense, all the contradictory things are on you, obviously you are the one who needs to be saved, in fact, you have been saving others, even you yourself are almost unbearable." ”

Feng Rong looked at his hand and smiled helplessly, "Probably because I once killed a lot of people." ”

When he said this, it was a bit like a joke, but Tao Youjing knew that what Feng Rong said was true, he didn't know what was going on, but the head of the Spirit Law Enforcement Department, who had saved countless people, had a bright guilt in his eyes, and a strong sense of guilt forced him to choose chronic suicide, he looked good on the surface, very beautiful, very dazzling, but inside he was like a rag bag with a hole and leaking air, and the contents inside were poured out, and when it was poured, he died.

- Psychological cancer is actually incurable, but the difference is whether the opening will be torn open again after being sewn up, Lin Yingkong has become the glue on this man's heart, but it can't be omnipotent, there is always something to drill out of the invisible cracks......

Tao Youjing kept looking at him, his eyes were very focused, "Actually, you don't have any reason to refuse me to help you, your feelings have deceived you, making you feel that living is a very helpless thing, in fact, if you really let you die, you will be unwilling." ”

"Maybe," Feng Rong recalled what he was thinking at the moment when he destroyed his soul in the sea of consciousness and in front of Lin Yingkong, but he couldn't remember it, there was a sense of relief at that moment, and a little ...... Accept fate, probably there will be a kind of unwillingness that the heavens will not obey me at that time, "You are right, I have always been like this, weak, passive, self-deception...... Maybe I can't change it, and I don't plan to change it now. ”

Tao Youjing said: "You are still afraid that your current life will be destroyed, so you only dare to wait for life to change you, and then you will accept it." ”

Feng Rong's expression was a little indifferent, "It's not like I haven't changed, but I've failed." So he didn't have the courage to do it again, his previous life was so bleak, why did he have to let himself go through those painful things again?

Tao Youjing nodded clearly, "Actually, you should be a very adventurous person by nature, and everything you do reflects this characteristic, but your parents ...... No, you are a single parent, you should be the only one by your mother's side, 'there is only one real tragedy in a woman's life: she is always remembering the past, but she must live in the future', this is a very interesting philosophy, whether it is right or not, at least your mother is such a person. ”

Feng Rong looked at him, his cold phoenix eyes almost like knives, "Don't do psychological analysis on me." ”

Tao Youjing shook his head, "You just don't want to mention your mother." ”

Feng Rong breathed heavily, "You're right, I don't want to mention her, then you should respect my wishes, I haven't agreed to participate in your mental game yet." ”

"Are you fighting?" Tao Youjing seemed to find it interesting, "It seems that the psychological counseling time we did back then was too short, and at that time you were also stuffing your heart to another person, but it was far less resistant, this was the only time you said 'no' to me, so do you think that your mother's nightmare in your life is all about you?"

Feng Rong remembered the low and dilapidated house, the woman who had been wiped out of all hope by life looked at him with insensitive and resentful eyes, clamoring for him to die, they depended on each other but tortured each other, his existence was the demon in that woman's nightmare, and she was his living nightmare...... And in the hospital, under the fiery sunset, the woman fell like the sun that was about to burn out, and told him that she was waiting for him in hell, and then he never crawled out of hell for half of his life.

Feng Rong didn't actually want to show weakness, but he knew that his cover-up was useless in front of Tao Youjing, so he wiped his face vigorously, and said in a hoarse voice: "Tao Youjing, don't mention her." ”

He sat up straight, and his tone was commanding, but because it was too cold an order, it seemed that he was holding on to prevent himself from slumping his shoulders, Tao Youjing even thought with a little fascination, he saw the weakness of a man who was known as the strongest, and the beauty of the so-called psychology was nothing more than this. But being able to see it at the same time means that you have to understand the feelings brought about by this weakness, if all of them are negative...... Tao Youjing thought, in fact, he hadn't thought about finding this man for counseling all these years, it must be because after peeking into his heart, that kind of gloomy mood would make him not want to contact any human ugliness and sin for a long time - he could see the woman behind the seal, the woman who screamed, cursed and cursed, stared at him with resentful eyes.

"I can't get around him," Tao Youjing preserved the image of the woman outlined in his heart, and told Feng Rong very calmly and straightforwardly, "The foundation of your current personality is based on the existence of that woman...... It may be due to the person you later met, but that person is just a substitute for your mother, and you take her ...... Well, your eyes tell me it's him, He, not She, he's a continuation of your mother's shadow, and even if you don't say it this time, one day you'll come to me, and then I'll want you to tell you about them. ”

Feng Rong was silent for a long time, he knew that Tao Youjing could help him, but he never wanted to come to this man, just because Feng Rong didn't want to recall those pasts, he once said to Lin Yingkong that if it was possible, he would never tell him what happened when he was a child, but Lin Yingkong accidentally entered his sea of consciousness and chose to destroy his soul, probably part of the reason is that he can't bear the unbearable fact that his secret is seen through, even if that person is Lin Yingkong...... The saddest thing is that he is not capable of handling it, but he is naturally very strong.

Tao Youjing forced Feng Rong to the bottom line, and slowly relaxed his approaching steps, slowed down his voice, and asked, "How do you feel now?"

“…… It's good," Feng Rong was confused for a moment, and then bowed his head, "At least it's better than before." ”

"At least ......" Tao Youjing can always capture the loopholes in his words so accurately, "You just think that at this point today, no matter how good it is, it can't be worse, no matter how bad it is, it's not worse than before, so you're willing to settle for the status quo." ”

Feng Rong smiled bitterly, "You must hold on to my every word, what's wrong with me being content with the status quo, in a way, I have both career and love, and there are countless followers, I really can't be better, isn't it?" he thought of Lin Yingkong, "Maybe it will get better and better day by day." ”

Tao Youjing asked him, "Do you think Lin Yingkong is good?"

Feng Rong nodded, "He's fine." ”

"Of course he is good," Tao Youjing said without hesitation, "He is kind, generous, optimistic, very positive, enthusiastic, easy to get along with, loves to make friends, rational, persistent, gentle, reliable in front of outsiders, and is so childish to his own people that people especially want to spoil him, once he encounters something, he is a very mature person......" He counted a lot of advantages about Lin Yingkong in one breath, and Feng Rong was stunned when he heard it, his eyes gradually changed, Tao Youjing did not avoid taboos at all, and hit the nail on the head;" I've only seen him once, but I can see that he has everything in him that you don't have. ”

Feng Rong exhaled deeply, as if he was going to spit out that suffocating feeling, "I know ......"

"He's too good to be better, can't he?" Tao Youjing's eyes stared at him tightly, like an impenetrable net, "So you think you're not worthy of him, you think it's not worth it for him to like you for so many years, how long have you been in love?" I think about it, seven months, right, these seven months pass quickly, isn't it, like a dream, you are careful every day, obviously feel very relieved, but subconsciously you are always afraid of shattering this big dream, so you always think, you have to back down, give way, if he likes it, accompany him, give him what he wants, as long as you don't let this dream wake up so quickly......"

"I didn't," Feng Rong interrupted him, repeating, as if to convince himself, "I didn't." ”

"Of course you can't say yes, otherwise Lin Yingkong knows, how sad should he be?" Tao Youjing said faintly, as if he had foreseen how Lin Yingkong would react, "He must have liked you for a long time, liked that confident and powerful you, and then did you show your stuff in front of him?" Well, there is a lot of exposure, but he doesn't care, he thinks it's you anyway, he is indeed a very good partner, so you feel that you can't live up to him, you have to maintain a good mood every day, you can't show him your weakness, even if there is occasionally, it can't be too strong, you have to restrain yourself, so as not to lose it in the future and be like before you can't live it...... Have you been laid? Are you down there? Of course your competitive spirit doesn't want to back down, but you subconsciously feel that you owe him, you have to take a step back, so you back down at the critical moment, does he know? He definitely doesn't know, he just wants to please you, he thinks you really accept him...... Of course, it can't be said that you didn't accept him, you are just always preparing to lose him, guess what Lin Yingkong would think if he knew? He won't think about anything, he will just feel that he is not good enough, and then treat you better, you will feel more guilty, until one day this guilt kills you, then he will be free. ”

"Enough......" Feng Rong's gaze flickered violently, he tried to restrain himself, not to let the boiling spiritual power ruin the things in this room, or he was afraid that Lin Yingkong would ask the reason for his anger if he knew that he was angry, and he had nothing to say at all, "Stop for the time being, Tao Youjing, I promised you to give me psychological counseling, but not now, stop, immediately!"

At this moment, Feng Rong's voice could be called stern, but Tao Youjing did not stop as he said, but looked at him quietly for a while, the tone that was originally getting tighter and tighter eased, and the words inside became more sharp, "No, in fact, this consultation has already begun, I can't stop, dark puppet, what are you thinking about now?" You are thinking, how can such a thing be said, if you don't say it, you will never know that you think so, then it will not tarnish the relationship between you and Lin Yingkong, this friendship is the purest thing you can get in your life, you cherish it so much, you don't hesitate to gradually destroy yourself, but also protect it completely. ”

Feng Rong heard his voice buzzing in his ears, as if there was a faint echo in his heart that echoed into his ears, he felt flustered, clenched his fists involuntarily, and his eyes moved unfocusedly, and then he thought that the cufflinks he was wearing today were given by Lin Yingkong, so he involuntarily pulled them down and held them in his hands, he kind of thought about Lin Yingkong, that person always smiled innocently at him, like a white rabbit, but in fact, he was far more rational and calm than him, beside Lin Yingkong, the arrogant and powerful Minister of Spirit Law Enforcement was just an ordinary person……

"I can't ...... it" Feng Rong heard his own voice, he thought his voice would tremble, in fact, his tone sounded very calm, look, Tao Youjing was right, he was far stronger than he imagined, he was just used to the kind of days when he was used as a marionette, and he couldn't change it, even if he realized it, those swarming negative emotions forced him to ignore, forced him to curl up to avoid the warmth and beauty outside, and the self-destructive mentality tortured him to be uneasy, he subconsciously felt that his guilty self would never deserve happiness, and even if he had, he would lose it after a short period of possession, and then there would be a cycle of pain, "You know, I always couldn't do it, I tried, really, at least I chose to be with him, I've had a good life these days, really, every day is like a dream, maybe I haven't even dreamed of such a good day, my mother said, she will wait for me in hell...... Maybe one day, I will go to hell, but until then, I want to live a little better, I can't bear to make Yingkong unhappy, I believe in how he feels about me, and I don't want to leave him...... Probably, this is the most self-conscious decision I have made in my life. ”

He said this intermittently, and it was not until the end that he revealed a somewhat determined tone, his eyes were full of indescribable sadness, like a mussel that had finally been uncovered, revealing his weak flesh that could be easily crushed, naked in the air, defenseless, making people almost think that it would break if he touched it, but Tao Youjing suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, and the breath around his body slowly gentle, he looked at Feng Rong very seriously, and his amber eyes carried a soothing power, " Then you should believe me, if you want to be with him, you have to cure your illness, he loves you very much, I believe this is the luckiest thing in your life. ”

Feng Rong's eyes were slightly red, "You're right, this is the luckiest thing in my life." ”

"Then don't miss him, you love him too, for others love is not salvation, for you, Lin Yingkong is your life-saving medicine," Tao Youjing moved his body and leaned forward slightly, like a most intimate friend, but also like an elder who taught him earnestly, "You live is the most worthwhile thing for him." ”

Feng Rong covered his face with his hands, breathed heavily for a while, and then raised his head again, his originally reddened eyes had faded from that fragility, and he had changed back to the appearance he had when he first entered the door, it was the Minister of Spiritual Law Enforcement who made the entire spiritual world fall for him, and it was the existence that once fascinated Lin Yingkong, and he said, "Then help me, Tao Youjing, thank you." ”

Tao Youjing smiled rarely, a very simple smile, "You're welcome, I'm just helping myself." ”

"You don't mind giving me a cigarette, do you?" asked Feng Rong.

Tao Youjing took out his cigarette case from his pocket and handed it to Feng Rong, he took it out with a shaking hand, and when he pressed the lighter, he didn't press it accurately several times, and finally lit it, but the whole cigarette was rubbed to the ground by his trembling hands......

Until one evening, when the sun was setting like fire, the woman suddenly sat up and looked out the window in a daze, trying to find the man, but the secret puppet who had nowhere to do it, thought desperately that if he didn't come, there would be no chance again.

The woman watched the sunset sink, and the look on her face gradually fell silent, her life was like this sun, shining brightly when it was the most dazzling, and burning everything up when it was the most decadent, so sad and hateful.

"I know he'll never come again, and I don't want to wait for you