Chapter 170: Almost crazy self-blame
I don't know how many times, I was knocked into the air.
I don't know how many times, I was knocked to the ground effortlessly.
Saber had given up counting because she couldn't remember.
What is the strongest sword-wielding Servant, who made it by the lake--now he is like a small boat in a storm. Faced with Berserker's wielded black sword, he could only give up his resistance to the attack, and could not even make a decent counterattack. She wouldn't even be upset by that. The heart that is silent in despair has no fighting spirit at all. She is no longer the valiant knight king of the earth who is known as the embodiment of the dragon. This is so tragic that it is deplorable.
They were supposed to save Alice Phil, and they had sworn to hold the Holy Grail together. You can't bow your head here, he knows it very well in his heart.
However, it is not possible to win. In the face of that man, that sword, it is impossible to win.
"Indestructible Lake" - Paired with King Arthur's "Sword of Oath of Victory", the supreme sword that people received from the elves.
The sword was dyed black, and the resentful magic in him had degenerated into the Berserker's Earth Sword.
He was originally the only "perfect knight" admired by everyone, and he was the flower that bloomed on the top of the steep peak of the knight's road. His figure and style were once the treasure of all knights and aspiring people.
And he was committed to madness. Red eyes rolled with abomination and roared like beasts.
He roared, I hate you.
He roared, I curse you.
How do you dodge the sword he wields with hatred?
Unable to gain momentum. It's now hazy in tears, and my legs are bent weakly. The only thing Saber could do with all his might at this time was to protect his body before he could be dealt a fatal blow.
Lancelot Qing. Knight of the Lake.
Now that I think about it, there are actually many clues that can see his true identity.
He once hid his name for the sake of his friend's reputation and participated in horse racing in disguise. Even after falling into a trap and facing the enemy's blade with his bare hands, he was able to achieve victory with his superb martial arts using only elm branches.
But even if he did, the original Saber wouldn't admit it. She was so admired that she could be reduced to Berserker - how could he be the Knight of the Lake?
Saber had believed that they were friends. Even if they meet each other for some unavoidable reason, their hearts are still the same. One side is the courtier who embodies the chivalry, and the other side is the king who embodies the chivalry.
However, is this kind of fetters just his naïve fantasy?
He has never forgiven, he cannot accept it. After he died, he was still cursing with resentment and such a tragic fate.
Lancelot and Gnavelle fall in love—but Artoria doesn't see the undeliverable injustice of the seeker as treachery, all because the king hides his gender. The one who must bear this contradiction for the rest of his life is Gnevere.
Artoria understood the sacrifice in the city and thanked him. At the same time, there is also guilt in the play. But she was even relieved by Lancelot, the man who fell in love with her. This man, who shares Wang's ideals, will not plunge the country into crisis, and she believes that he will share the responsibility with her. And in fact, he did. Although he was troubled by stepping into the path of injustice, he still secretly supported Gnavier and supported the king.
The reason why it was exposed as a scandal was that the two had to stand in opposing positions, and it was also planned by those traitors who hated Camorote. Since Lancelot could not sit idly by and watch her beloved woman be killed, Artoria had to execute her as king.
No one is wrong, and it is precisely because everyone is right that tragedy has occurred.
In this way, Artoria has always fought to the end as a king.
So, in the face of that hill, the battlefield red with blood, she can argue with God about the injustice of fate.
If you follow the path of struggle and fail to get the right result, then it must be Heaven who is at fault.
Then if there is a holy grail that can achieve miracles, he can hold his head high forever. It is because of his conviction that he fights.
But—
「■■■■■■!!」
Under the relentless onslaught of the indestructible lake, Saber's holy sword groaned. This sword of light, which promised victory, has long since lost its meaning in the hands of its owner, who has lost his fighting spirit. Berserker kept scolding Saber for not being able to fight back and just running away. At this moment, he has completely liberated his true strength, and his swordsmanship is not at all comparable to his previous level. Even if Saber is unharmed at the moment, he may not be able to resist its powerful momentum.
But in the face of the fierce attack of his opponent and the pain of his hands and feet, Saber was not moved at all, and the enemy's strength and ruthless attacks were several times higher than his own, and his spirit was gradually disintegrating.
Ahh......h Is that what you intended?
Are you so desperate for fate, are you cursing with hatred the king and the kingdom that have brought you despair?
We originally had the same dream, and we all put our lives on the line to save the country.
If there is no difference in our aspirations, then you will hide your hatred, do you regret it?
-- Salvation alone cannot lead --
No. Tell me it's not like that.
Lancelot. Only you. I hope you understand. Because you're the ideal knight.
I hope you'll nod your head in agreement, and I'm doing the right thing......
- Leaving behind the people who have lost their way, and wanting to be a saint alone -
"Stop!!"
Saber relied on the last of his sanity to block the falling black sword, shouting with all his might.
「…… Stop...... ...... please."
With a whimper, the beggar limped to the ground.
I can't move, I've reached the limit. There is no way to defend against the next attack.
Perhaps, this is the only salvation.
Since he was so unwilling, so hateful—there was no other way to compensate for it than to use his body to take the sword that he had returned.
Just as Saber decided to give up resistance altogether, Berserker suddenly stopped.
Saber and Berserker had no way of knowing that just a few dozen seconds ago, the Reflection Worm in the body of the Akiri, which was lurking in the mechanical room of the underground parking lot, ceased to move. In order to maintain the Berserkwe phenomenon, the small amount of magic power in Yanye's body was absorbed in large quantities, and the magic power was multiplied by the liberation of the final treasure, and finally the engraved insect was exhausted due to the heavy load.
The Servant's reserve mana, which would have allowed her to remain present for hours in Msater's absence, was depleted within ten seconds of Berserker's rampage. At this moment, the magic that drove the killing machine suddenly dried up, causing Berserker to come to an emergency stop as if it had malfunctioned.
In the silence of the abrupt visit, Saber's hand could clearly feel Berserker's vanishing heartbeat. The hilt of the sword was clenched in his hand, and the blade of the sword pierced through the black armor.
This result is so ironic that who could have predicted it?
In this moment, the victory and defeat were decided, and the shallow greed made Saber himself feel ashamed, and he couldn't help but cry.
Knowing that she shouldn't have killed him, but still killing someone who shouldn't have been killed, Saber is now just an obsessive captive - just like Dilumudo rebuked him at the last moments, stepping over so many corpses that she wants nothing more than a miracle of the wish machine. That's the real side of Saber at this moment.
"Even so, I still have to get the Holy Grail. 」
Tears dripped down the trembling handarmor, mixed with the blood of the Berserker as it slid down the blade.
"If you don't, my friend...... If you don't, I can't make any compensation to you at all. 」
"—It's really sad. It's all now, are you still looking for excuses for fighting for yourself?"
A nostalgic voice.
Looking up, the knight was looking at the tearful king with his usual calm gaze, as calm as the surface of a lake. Scrapping his contract with the Master, he freed himself from the spell of madness while he was still gone.
"Lancelot ......"
"Yes, thank you. Perhaps, I can only convey my thoughts in this way......
Looking at the sword that pierced his body with a compassionate gaze, Lancelot continued with a wry smile.
"Actually...... I wanted you to punish me personally. O king...... I wished you had come to me out of your anger......
The treacherous knight, known as the culprit of the Round Table flaws, spoke sadly to his only friend, who never reproached him until the end.
"If you can sanction it...... If you can ask me for compensation...... Then I will also believe in the atonement...... I will definitely believe that one day I will find a way to forgive myself. …… The princess must be the same......
This is the regret of a man and a woman. They had the same ideals as the king, but they were too weak to carry them out.
And these two men were not redeemed until they died. Because of the betrayal of the most important person, they blame themselves deeply, and this self-blame, they have carried it all their lives.
To whom should such suffering be addressed, and who should be blamed in order to be liberated?
With a deep sigh, Lancelot relaxed and collapsed into the arms of the Knight King. The body in his arms was light, and Saber couldn't help but feel his throat clogged. The Servant's body, which was fading away, had almost no weight.
"Even though it's in this form, I ended up borrowing your chest......
As if in a nap, the Knight of the Lake murmured and sighed calmly.
"In the bosom of the king, before the king's eyes died...... Haha, I'm just ...... like this Like a faithful knight......
"You—don't say that—"
Saber replied anxiously. Before he disappears, he has something to tell him. She hoped he understood.
It's not "it's like", it's "it's just that".
She wanted to tell him that you were a loyal knight. No one knows better than I am how sincere you are to your country and to the king.
So there's no need to blame yourself anymore. Even if it's a fault that can't be made. Your qualities cannot be subverted by such a mistake.
I don't want to humiliate you, I don't want to lose you. It is precisely because of this desire that I can truly deny the so-called sins you have committed.
That's what Artoria really thinks, but it can't be the knight's salvation.
The knight closed his eyes as if he were asleep, and his body was dissolving. Seeing that he was about to disappear, Saber still didn't know what to say.
"Lancelot, you're actually ......!"
You're not a sinner—what does that mean to him?
Even if someone denies his sin, it is none other than himself who is most entangled in this sin.
Why didn't I notice his lonely thoughts at the time? Why didn't he free the noble soul of this knight from almost crazy self-blame?
- The king will not understand the mood of others -
This sentence I heard while leaving the round table—who said it.
The knight's dead body didn't say anything more, and with the last remnants of light, he vanished.
"—wait...... Wait a minute...... Lance—"
Looking at the weightless, empty crook of his arm, Saber whimpered.
I can't even make a sound. She didn't allow herself to make even a little noise. In the last moments of facing the loyal knight, he could not even say a word of comfort to him, and now he has no right to cry.
The king can only be lonely and haughty—
Saying this to himself, while looking for a way to save the country, how many people's thoughts and troubles have he ignored?
Gawain, who died heroically and heroically, Galahad who died in his mission, what were they thinking at the last moment. Are they equally remorseful and unwilling to die? Why can you say that this is not the case?
Saber wept silently, as if a myriad of thorns had cut through her heart.
Could it be that as a king, he shouldn't be high at all?
If so, wouldn't it lead to ruin? Will all people be saved?
「…… It's not over yet. 」
From the whimpering throat came the persistent voice of the King of Victory.
"And make up for it...... It's still too late...... I still have the Holy Grail. I still have miracles that can turn fate upside down......
Saber stood up, sword of victory.
Even if you can't listen to people's hearts, even if you are reprimanded for being the king of solitude, it doesn't matter at all.
Even so, if she could win for her homeland and her subjects with her own hands—this was what she asked herself to do as a "king".
As long as you can get the Holy Grail, you can make up for everything, and you can correct all the faults.
Now, this belief is all that Saber has chosen the way of kings.
Scarred, Saber stepped along.
……