Chapter 149: I can't love, I can't hate

According to the practice during this time, Duan Yehan would greet Shan Ru with Zhang Dong before officially starting the day's work. But every time Duan Yehan left after a brief greeting, first, he wanted to go back to the office to continue to deal with affairs, and second, Duan Yehan knew very well in his heart that he didn't like to see himself, so he should also consciously take the initiative to leave. So this time the greeting was as usual, respectful and brief. After arranging Shan Ru's breakfast, Duan Yehan politely bowed his head to Shan Ru and said, "Then we won't hinder Auntie from resting, let's go first." After Zhang Dong heard Duan Yehan's words, he also smiled and said to Shan Ru with a slight bow: "Then goodbye Auntie, big brother and I will come to see you again tomorrow." With that, Zhang Dong followed behind Duan Yehan and turned around and walked towards the door. It's just that the footsteps of the two of them have just taken a step, and Shan Ru, who was standing behind them, said lightly: "Duan Yehan, every time you leave on your own without the permission of your elders, is this your politeness?" Zhang Dong, who had been smiling, stopped with Duan Yehan almost at the same time after hearing Shan Ru's words. Although the movements of the two people are the same, what is different is the expression on the faces of the two people. The smile on Zhang Dong's face slowly became stiff, looking a little embarrassed and hesitant. However, Duan Yehan's face was as calm as ever, without the slightest change. Shan Ru picked up the TV remote control on the table, glanced at the two people who had stopped, and said: "Watch TV with me, I missed the live broadcast I wanted to watch, and it's good to watch the replay." ”

Duan Yehan watched Shan Ru sit on the sofa after turning on the TV by himself, although the humility in his eyes was still there, the calmness under his feet was still the same, and he was still standing quietly in place. Shan Ru saw that Duan Yehan was still standing still, and said in a cold voice: "What, didn't you hear the words of the elders clearly? Auntie is bored, I want you to watch TV together, okay?" Hearing Shan Ru's words, Zhang Dong immediately smiled and said: "Okay, Auntie! I like to watch TV the most!" With that, Zhang Dong quickly strode back, but Duan Yehan suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Zhang Dong, looked at Shan Ru with a sideways face and said, "Auntie, Zhang Dong still has something to do, I'll accompany you to see it, is it okay?" Although Duan Yehan's tone was steady and his expression was calm and unharmed, Shan Ru saw a little helplessness and fear looming between his eyebrows. Such a look that is easily and imperceptibly hidden between Duan Yehan's eyebrows and eyes is like a helpless compromise to Shan Ru, more like a bitter plea for Shan Ru, Shan Ru can understand this hidden affection, and also understands the meaning of this. Shan Ruqi took a few steps forward and said to Zhang Dong with a smile: "Xiaodong, if you have something, go first, it's important to do things." Zhang Dongqian smiled and shook his head and said, "It's okay aunt, in fact, I don't ......" "Then you go over first, and go to my office to wait for me after finishing your errands." Before Zhang Dong could finish his words, he was interrupted by Duan Yehan's words. Zhang Dong glanced at Duan Yehan a few times at a loss, and after a while, Zhang Dong replied with a smile: "Okay, I'll do things first." Saying that, Zhang Dong waved his hand at Shan Ru, "I'm leaving, goodbye, Auntie." ”

Duan Yehan stood there and took a deep breath, until, he was sure that he would never hear Zhang Dong's footsteps anymore, he slowly walked to Shan Ru's side and sat down, and said softly: "Broadcast the station, Auntie." Shan Ru pressed the button on the remote control unhurriedly, and said disapprovingly while broadcasting: "You are more human than I thought." At least, you still know that you feel sorry for Xiaodong. Duan Yehan quietly stared at the constantly switching images on the TV screen in front of him, and didn't say a word. It wasn't until the picture in front of him was no longer switched that he lowered his eyes slightly and said lightly: "I'll just be an aunt praising me." ”

The TV was playing the picture of Xu Hai awarding the trophy to Shen Yuan, just like watching the moment Xu Hai handed the trophy in his hand to Shen Yuan, when he had a mixed expression on his face, a lonely wry smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, "He saw Xiaoyang on that child's body...... When he really thinks of her as Xiaoyang, Wuxinhai is about to fall into the cliff...... Wuxinhai, I'm finally about to fall into the cliff......" Then, Shan Ru slowly measured his face and looked at Duan Yehan, and asked, "You, how can you conclude that Xu Hai will go to the cliff by himself, and what are the chips." Duan Yehan raised his head and replied, "The moment Auntie saw Shen Yuan, I believe you already knew that chip." Because...... Because, 'the sea, is the edge of the ocean.' The ocean is the heart of the sea. These two sentences...... My mother knows, I know, and my aunt and Uncle Lan also know...... These two sentences are my bargaining chips. After listening to Duan Yehan's words, if she didn't turn her head and stop talking, she stared at the picture in front of her eyes, the corners of her mouth pursed slightly, and her expressionless face gradually became expressionless, as if there were too many unspeakable hidden, and it seemed that she was struggling with whether to dig out some long-buried memories from the bottom of her heart or just keep them in her heart silently......

Many years have passed, and Shan Ru is still deeply impressed by the events of that day. Because that day was the first time she and Lan Fei saw Xu Hai drunk. Xu Hai has always been a cautious person, although he loves to play on the surface, but he is extremely calm in his heart and knows the progress of anything, but that day, Xu Hai seemed to have lost all his caution and calmness, and he never drank alcohol, and he drank all the wine on the table one by one. Originally, Shan Ru and Lan Fei both thought that Xu Hai was going to marry his girlfriend Gu Qiumei tomorrow, and because they were happy, they drank so much wine when the three of them were partying. However, when Xu Hai mistook Shan Ru for another person, he took her hand and shouted: "Why can't we be together! The sea is the edge of the ocean." The ocean is the heart of the sea. They are obviously inseparable, why can't they be together!" When Shan Ru and Lan Fei heard these words from Xu Hai's mouth at the same time, they were caught off guard and understood that tomorrow's wedding was not the beginning of happiness for Xu Hai, but meant an abyss.

When Lan Fei staggered back to Xu's house with Xu Hai on his back, it was already midnight, because considering that the old man must have fallen asleep, Shan Ru never dared to knock loudly on the door. Not long after, when Shan Ru saw Xu Yang, who was wearing a single coat and came to open the door for them, he stood a little embarrassed and speechless. It was Lan Fei who walked into the house quickly with Xu Hai on his back, and said with a little hesitation as he looked at Xu Yang's worried eyes: "You, your brother should be married tomorrow, and he drank too much when he was too happy." With that, Shan Ru followed Lan Fei into the house. Lan Fei originally wanted to quietly carry Xu Hai into the room like this, but unexpectedly, as soon as Xu Yang closed the door, Xu Hai jumped off his back at once, walked to Xu Yang's side crookedly, grabbed Xu Yang's arm, and said loudly with a loose look: "You haven't answered why I can't do it! Why don't you want to! I'm not your real brother, why can't I! Why don't you want to!" Seeing Xu Hai's actions, Shan Ru hurriedly strode forward, pulled Xu Hai away from Xu Yang, and said to Lan Fei: "What are you doing!" People are drunk like this, hurry up and carry people into the room. Hearing Shan Ru's words, Lan Fei hurriedly replied, "Oh, yes, yes." With that, Lan Fei quickly picked up Xu Haihai upstairs. Taking advantage of the fact that there were only two people at this time, she looked at the calm expression on Xu Yang's face that was unexpected, and asked cautiously: "Xiao Yang, do you have the same thoughts as Wuxinhai?" "......I don't have it." Before Shan Ru's words were finished, he heard Xu Yang's categorical answer. "Then ......" Shan Ru cautiously continued to ask, "Is it because of Gu Qiumei, can't you have the same thoughts as him?" Xiao Yang, if that's the case, Lan Fei and I will definitely do our best to prevent tomorrow's wedding. Whether you are regarded as an unreasonable villain or a bad person who is causing trouble, we will definitely help you. So Xiaoyang, in order for you to be happy, you must tell me what you really think. After listening to Shan Ru's words, Xu Yang smiled and held Shan Ru's hand and said softly, "Thank you, Sister Shan Ru." I really don't have that mind. Although Xu Yang's answer was decisive and crisp, Shan Ru still saw a trace of hesitation in Xu Yang's eyes, and Shan Ru raised his other palm to contain Xu Yang's hand in his palms, "Xiao Yang, you already have someone you like...... Isn't it?" Shan Ru's words made Xu Yang stunned, but in just a few seconds, a faint smile appeared on Xu Yang's face, and he smiled without saying a word. Seeing Xu Yang's smile, Shan Ru slowly let go of his hand and gently patted Xu Yang's shoulder, "Knowing Xiaoyang, I won't ask this question a second time." At this time, Lan Fei happened to come down from upstairs, Lan Fei looked at Xu Yang and said with some hesitation: "That Xiao Yang, already, has already helped your brother tidy up." I, I want to ask ......" Lan Fei's words were halfway through, Shan Ru suddenly grabbed Lan Fei's arm and said to Xu Yang: "I think it's time for us to go home Xiao Yang, see you at the wedding tomorrow." With that, Shan Ru pulled Lan Fei away.

Before dawn, Xu Hai woke up in severe pain, and he didn't remember the specific details, only that it seemed that he was carried back by Lan Fei. When he put on his dress and went downstairs, Xu Yang was preparing breakfast. Xu Yang heard the footsteps, looked sideways at Xu Hai and said with a smile, "Morning, brother." I woke up so early today, I must have been so happy that I couldn't sleep. However, the depth on Xu Hai's face did not disappear because of Xu Yang's joke. He stepped forward slowly, stared at Xu Yang's smiling face, and said, "I can not get married...... Remember what I said to you, the sea, the edge of the ocean. The ocean is the heart of the sea. Let me ask you again, are you willing to be Xu Hai's heart? As long as you are willing, I will not get married. As soon as Xu Hai's words fell, Xu Yang picked up the porridge and said, "Brother is blocking my way, if I hit it, the dress will be dirty." Xu Yang said as he walked towards the table with the porridge, the smile on his face was still the same. Seeing Xu Yang continue to prepare breakfast as if he hadn't heard, Xu Hai smiled coldly. God, what an irony of that. His determination was so insignificant in the eyes of that person. Xu Hai turned around stiffly, looked at Xu Yang who was busy arranging the plate, and said coldly: "Why were you born in this world." Because of you, all the love that my parents once poured into me alone has been taken away. Because of you, I've lost all my self-esteem like a demon...... Xu Yang, if you are not my lover, then in the future, you will be my enemy. In short, I will never treat you as a sister. ”

Shan Ru turned his head sideways, looked at Duan Yehan and asked with a light sigh, "How did you keep your mother's diary and it has not been discovered by Xu Hai's family so far?" Duan Yehan looked ahead, slightly curled the corners of his mouth, and said, "Auntie, what were you doing the day before school started when Lan Xue was a child...... The day before school starts, my mom and I wrap my new textbooks on the book covers...... I really miss that time...... "Shan Ru didn't answer, just picked up the grapes from the fruit bowl and put them in his mouth and chewed slowly. After a long time, Shan Ru suddenly smiled and said: "It's true, Xiaoxue seems to be accompanied ......by the nanny at home when school is about to start" Shan Ru picked up the remote control with a wry smile and turned off the TV, and said: "You are really good at diverting the topic." Okay, I've seen everything I want to see, so you can go back and get busy. Duan Yehan got up in Shan Ru's "order" and said softly, "Auntie, goodbye." Then he turned and walked towards the door. Shan Ru looked at Duan Yehan step by step, and seeing that she was about to reach the door, she suddenly stood up and said loudly to Duan Yehan, who was facing away from her, "At least don't let Xiaodong suffer more damage! Xiaodong's infatuation with Shen Yuan is like Xiaoxue is to you! I don't want him to become like Xiaoxue!...... I can't love, I can't ......" Duan Yehan paused, he stayed where he was, silent. After a long time, he continued his steps and opened the door to leave.