When I returned to the Hou Mansion in Zhenbei, it was already very late, Hongdan served Xiaoxiao and changed the clothes she was wearing at home, freshened up, took the flower tea presented by the little maid, took a sip, and disappeared without a trace in the shallow and shallow mansion of the Duke of Wei, and suddenly felt refreshed, sitting on the sandalwood soft collapse in front of the window and looking at the sunset outside the window.

It's not that I feel very tired, but thinking about the examination and evaluation under the kind and kind surface of those noble ladies, as if I was being weighed on a scale, although no one was rude, no one showed any impatience with himself, but they were all kind and gentle. However, this is not because of themselves, but because of the identity of Mrs. Zhenbei Hou, the gentleness of those people is to express their goodwill to the Zhenbei Houfu on behalf of the family behind them, and it has nothing to do with them, and they stand there like a landmark building, accepting the observation and goodwill of those people, the intention of cooperation, and the temptation. This marker is not necessarily herself, any woman, as long as she is Mrs. Zhenbei, can be replaced, can be replaced, can be replaced, just like the British queen in the previous life, standing on the British standpoint to make a statement, visit, negotiate, the meaning of the representation is not much more important than an object;

And what he represents is Zhenbei Hou Mansion, Xiao Di;

This kind of realization makes Xiaoxiao a little depressed and a little unhappy, could it be that I worked hard to enter the circle of the minister's house just to be Xiao Di's spokesperson?

The question marks that popped up in her mind made Xiaoxiao a little confused.

Those so-called disputes between the sons of the world and property are fought for their husbands, and those women, including the second sister, are like this, dedicating all their time and energy to help their husbands fight for power, money, discourse, influence, and status; Then for his own status and other women to fight for the favor of the husband, to help his son and the other sons of the husband to fight for the inheritance; all the time; before getting married, there is also a fight in the boudoir, for better clothes, better treatment, more attention, and even a better and higher status husband; this is a woman's life!

Those women live like this, they are used to it, and they are unwilling to become an outlier.

smiling and self-deprecating, in fact, he had a dispute before getting married. Compete for more attention and favor from father and brother, strive for more freedom to travel farther and longer times, compete for more resources, and try to get some shining things that you can see anyway;

But at that time, I didn't have any unwillingness in my heart, nor did I have any confusion, I was happy and happy at that time; when I helped my brother make clothes, washed my hands and cooked soup for my father, I heard my father's praise, and watched the clothes I sewn with my own hands being cherished by my brother and wore them, at that time there was a heartfelt joy in my heart; I saw different scenery in different places, that kind of novelty, Surprise fills the chest, the whole body is satisfied and happy from the inside out, when you see something shiny, you want to keep it for yourself, if you see it in the store, you want to buy it back, and when you see it on the road, you pick it up, and the feeling of picking up a treasure, the excitement of secretly laughing alone in an unknown secret is incomparable.

Since the smile at that time was so happy, the wind and water were prosperous, and he was happy every day, why did he start to feel unwilling now, why?

Smile and ask yourself, I don't understand why I was happy before I left the cabinet, why I am so confused and unwilling now.

"Mrs. Xiao......" Mrs. Xiang of Ji'an Houfu suddenly jumped into her mind, Mrs. Xiao, the original title of the people around her was 'Miss, Little Master, Master', and now those ladies are called 'Mrs. Xiao';

The person who calls the young lady is the person sent by the father to himself, the person who calls the little master is the person who is given to him by the mother or the father, and there are also capable people who collect it by themselves, the person who calls the master is his own person, and the person who is called Mrs. Xiao is the person who looks at Xiao Di's status and interacts with the equal;

So is he unwilling because of Xiao Di?

I am willing to dedicate my time and energy for my father and brothers and sisters, but I am a little unwilling to do it for Xiao Di;

Daddy dotes and indulges himself, my brother rushes around to realize one of his ideas but is willing to eat it, my sister's good things will be given to me as long as I like them, worry about myself, and be happy for myself;

Xiao Di respects himself as a guest;

Smile as if you have realized.

It turns out that the giving is mutual.

Fathers, brothers, sisters, and relatives have given to themselves without stinginess, so they rejoice for their joys, worry about their sorrows, and have no complaints about their future fatigue;

And Xiao Di, although he is a smiling husband, but he obviously does not pay much and care about Smiling, and his attitude towards Smiling is just a little better than 'turning a blind eye', and what is hidden under the appearance of discussion and respect is real indifference;

Knowing his mentality, Hanxiao remembered what his father Shui Changxiao told him the night before he got married: "Hanxiao, you can do what you want freely at home, because I am a father to protect you; In the future, you will be a member of the Xiao family, and all your honors and disgraces will be dominated by Xiao Di. If you still want to live a free and easy life, then you must have Xiao Di's protection, which depends on your efforts and management;

You have to remember that being able to do what you want is not really free, real freedom is not being able to do what you don't want to do, and before that, you have to figure out what you want to do, what you don't want to do.

Also that night, the eldest sister Shui Hanyan also told herself: "Little sister, we women are divided into three stages in life. Before we got married, our father was our support, after we got married, our husband was our support, and they relied on us for the first half of our life or even for life, and our son was our support for the second half of our life.

Therefore, when it is not about the son, we need to put the husband in the second place in our hearts, the husband and we are actually not related by blood, if we want the husband to be willing to be our dependence, we need to pay. Treat our husband's needs as our needs. If the husband is worried about his in-laws, then we should honor his in-laws; if the husband is worried about his little concubines, then we should treat his little concubines well; if the husband desires a bright future, then we must help him realize his desire; if the husband loves face, then we must always pay attention to maintaining the dignity and face of the husband; so that the husband will put us in his heart and be willing to be our dependence.

After having a son, we should put our son in the second place in our hearts, and postpone the position of our husband to the third place; use our own ability and connections to cultivate our son; be close to our son, care for our son, protect our son, and eradicate any factors that affect our son's growth; so that our son will become our most solid support when he grows up and starts a family. This dependence is more stable than that of our husbands, and we will have more respect.

As for what comes first in my heart?

It is ourselves, we must put ourselves first in our hearts, and we must protect our lives, bodies and minds at all times, places and circumstances.

No husband can live alone or marry again, no son can have another one, there is nothing without life, there is no son, and without a future, it is equivalent to nothing. At that time, even if the husband is willing to be relied on by us, we have no chance, the husband will continue the strings, the children will have stepmothers, everything does not belong to us, and there is no soul that belongs to us, so even if there is a husband and son to rely on, the heart is like a dry field, and we will not feel any hope and happiness, then it is really better to live than to die. So we have to put ourselves first in our hearts. Take care of your life, body and mind.

This is what my grandmother told me when I first got married, and I have always remembered it, and now I tell you about it, and I hope you will remember it. ”

Shui Hanyan's expression at that time was solemn and serious. Hanxiao didn't think carefully about the meaning of her words at that time, but just kept her eldest sister's solemn explanation in her heart.

At that time, Hanxiao once asked the eldest sister Shui Hanyan: "Why do we have to rely on men, when we were young, we relied on our parents because we were very young and had no ability to grow up alone, and we needed the protection of our father." But we've all grown up, so why can't we rely on ourselves? Why do we have to rely on men? ”

Xiaoxiao clearly remembers the eldest sister's smoky expression at that time, like joy and sadness, like shallow and waveless, and like deep and bottomless, indescribably complex.

"Then think about it, why do we women have to rely on men?" Hanyan asked after looking at Hanxiao for a while.

Hanxiao shook her head, if Hanxiao understood, she wouldn't ask Hanyan.

"Take the time to look at the laws of my dynasty and you will understand. Smoke almost sighed.

"We do not allow women to have private property, and everything that women have does not belong to them. ”

"No, don't we have a lot of property under our name, and after we get married, our dowry also belongs to us!" asked with a puzzled smile.

"We now have an inheritance in our name because we have a father and I have a husband, and without their protection, our property in our name may be deprived by outsiders at any time, and the laws of the court will not protect us. Hanyan said in a quiet tone.

"Do you still remember Mrs. Lin of Jinxiufang? She married Master Mo as a stepfamily, without the help of her brother, and her life was not bad when Lord Mo was alive, but what about after her death? What kind of life did she live? The dowry and the pension money left to her by Master Mo were robbed by her stepson, and then swept away by her stepson and daughter-in-law, and no one could come forward to help her. If she had a son, it wouldn't be like this, the Mo clan would protect her, and if he had a strong brother who stood up for her, and the Lin clan's clan came forward, the Mo clan wouldn't dare to do this to her. But she didn't, so she now has nothing, can only live on her own craft, and will be old and have nothing to rely on. Hanyan explained in the same quiet tone, and for some reason, Hanyan heard the taste of sadness in his smile.

That's why the eldest sister took the Lin family with her, and helped her recognize a goddaughter and recruit a son-in-law. ”

"She's really good at embroidery, that's why I'm going to help her. Although she sold herself as a servant, with me as her support, she at least would not be unable to live in the future. A smoky explanation.

Xiaojue's sister is not honest, so many embroidery girls brought Mrs. Lin, what other reason can there be besides wanting to help? !

After thinking about what Han Yan said, he said: "Fortunately, I have been practicing martial arts hard all these years, and others want to snatch what belongs to me, but it depends on whether my starlight agrees with it!"

Starlight is the name of the sword that Xiaoxiao has used all these years, and it was also picked up by Xiaoxiao underground.

Hanyan couldn't help but laugh, "Then you have to be ready to rebel against the entire social system;"

Hanxiao smiled at the time, grabbed Hanyan's hand and coquettishly: "Sister, let's drink a glass of water! Then we went to eat, I was hungry." ”

At that time, Hanxiao just wrote down what her father Shui Changxiao and her eldest sister Hanyan said, and now Hanxiao has experienced a social banquet and can't help but think carefully about the words in her mind.

In her previous life, she graduated with a master's degree in finance at the age of twenty-six, and died of illness before she had time to work.

It's just that Hanyan's words and smiles are clear, the whole social system does not allow women to survive independently, women can only rely on men like vines if they want to live well, and they can only choose who to rely on in the future? What can be judged can only be whether the other party can rely on? and there is no right to live independently, if you really want to survive independently, then you must have enough ability and pay enough price, that is, you will live very tired and tired, and even not get a good death;

Hanxiao doesn't have the hobby and courage to hit the south wall, so Hanxiao wants to live as freely as possible within the scope of the social system.

Hanxiao plans to follow the eldest sister's advice with smoke: put herself first, put her husband Xiao Di's needs in the second, and put her son in the second place after having a son, and postpone the order of her husband.

So what do you need to do now?

Figure out what you want to do? What is not like what to do? and-

What is the need to figure out what Hou Xiao Di of Zhenbei needs?

Then help him to achieve his needs as much as possible;

The ultimate goal is true freedom

-- It's not about doing what you want to do, it's about not doing what you don't want to do.