I turned to leave before he could speak.

Yu Ce: Actually, I went to Shenzhen to look for you.

His voice came from behind me, and I turned back to meet his eyes, and he stood up with his cane, and his voice began to weaken, a little unassured.

Yu Ce: I just didn't find you......

I slowly walked back across from him and sat down again, and I suddenly wondered how he had spent all these years.

Me: When?

He saw me sit down, and he sat down again.

Yu Ce: In March of 11 year! When I got off the train in Luohu, Shenzhen, I looked at the crowds of people coming and going, and I realized that I didn't even know where to look for you in the huge Shenzhen! You went to Shenzhen or listened to Xia Minglin on the day you left Hengli. At the train station in Shenzhen, I really realized that I had lost you, and I asked my uncle to transfer your ID card when you entered Jingjing, and I knew the address on the ID card. I bought a ticket to your house and wanted to see your hometown, maybe I could find you, maybe I could know your whereabouts, but before I could get on the bus, I received the news that my father had suffered a sudden heart attack and was sent to the hospital. I changed my ticket and went back to Yeosu, but I still didn't see him for the last time. After that, my mother has been sad and sad, but fortunately, Nian'an was well-behaved and could amuse her, so she slowly walked out of the grief of my father's death. At the end of the year, Yu Yuan's family gave birth to a daughter Ketian, which gradually distracted my mother's attention, it was then that I knew my responsibility, my father was gone, Yu Yuan could only walk in a wheelchair, although I was also injured, but it was still intact, I had to take care of this family, so I scraped together the money to take over this tofu workshop, which was the master's house where I learned to make tofu before.

Me: In 10 years, I took the college entrance examination and was admitted to the Guangdong Police College, studying in Guangzhou.

Yu Ce: I didn't understand at that time, but fortunately you and I were separated, otherwise you might have drifted with me and suffered hardships!

Me: As fate would have it, are you married?

I told Wang Jie to let him go shopping by himself and pick me up later.

Yu Ce: That girl and I separated not long after you left Hengli, we weren't together, we were just confused at that time, and the picture was fresh...... In short, Xiao An, I'm sorry for you! In February 09, I went back to Lishui and learned to make tofu; after studying for a few months, Yu Yuan came to play; we rode a motorcycle together, and we had a car accident and crashed into a big truck, Yu Yuan injured both legs, and I injured my left foot and face; the big truck fell under the bridge in order to avoid it, and the driver ran out of gas at that time, and the driver's wife was almost eight months pregnant at the time, and the child came out when she was sent to the hospital, and the adults were also angry. The truck driver and his wife are orphans in our town, grew up eating hundreds of meals, I and Yu Yuan lived in the hospital for almost a year, I had no fertility because of the injury, and then adopted the car driver's child, the car driver's surname is An, I named the child Yu Nian'an, one is the parents who miss the child, and the other is also missing Xiao An in my heart. Xie Lingling is a kind person, she and Yu Yuan were not married when we had an accident, we all persuaded her to find someone to live again, but she was unwilling, and when Yu Yuan got better, she went to get a marriage certificate, and it was because of her that our family could stand up again, she took care of Yu Yuan for so many years, Ke Tian and Tianyu, as well as Nian'an, hard-working, our family is very grateful to her. I also cherish her very much, and when I was in the hospital, I felt that I could understand your despair and hurt...... I thought that when I got better, I would go to you when I was discharged from the hospital, and then spend the rest of my life to make up for the damage done to you, but God didn't give me a chance......

After I went to Shenzhen, I met the most important person in my life, who changed the trajectory of my life; in July of '09, he just took the college entrance examination and worked as a summer worker; it was he who encouraged me to study, helped me review, helped me contact the school, and found a teacher, so that I took the college entrance examination in 10 years.

Yu Ce: Are you married?

Me: No, he's a soldier; After eight years, I will be discharged from the army and return next month.

Yu Ce: That's fine, if someone treats you well, then I'll rest assured!

Me: Well, I'm pretty good myself, do you still have contact with Xia Minglin and Gu Bin?

Yu Ce: No, I feel that I don't have the face to contact them, especially Gu Bin!

Me: I want to ask you, why did you and Gu Bin fight that night? I met Xia Minglin at the Guangzhou Railway Station in a year or three, and he mentioned it, but he didn't know why the two of you were fighting.

Yu Ce: I know from other classmates that Gu Bin is going to sell you to Huizhou, and when you go for surgery, he may have given you birth control measures and thought he was a bastard......

Did Gu Bin really do this? Didn't he admit it to me? This is a bolt from the blue......

Yu Ce: But I heard from other classmates that he was sentenced to five years in prison for domestic violence two years ago, and he hasn't come out yet!

Me: He has a tendency to domestic violence!

Yu Ce: You are now a people's policeman! Very good, very in line with your character, resolute, capable!

Me: I studied criminal investigation.

Yu Ce: It's amazing, you must have suffered a lot!

Me: Well, everyone suffers, and it's not easy for everyone!

Yu Ce: Yes, look at me, now like this, it must be that I have done a lot of hurtful things in my previous life, and I have come to pay off my debts in this life!

Me: No matter what happens, it's okay, just take responsibility for yourself.

Yu Ce: By the way, I brought back your guitar.

Me: I saw it, and I could see it as soon as I entered the door.

Yu Ce: I think of you when I look at this guitar, and I pray to God every day that I hope to see you again and say sorry to you.

I took a deep breath.

Me: Don't talk about it, it's all over.

Yu Ce: Hmm......

The rain stopped, the sun came out, and the sun shone through the treetops and into the stream.

Me: The scenery is not bad!

Yu Ce: Well, why don't I take you to the ancient town to take a walk, are you going back to Guangdong today?

Me: Well, the plane will go back to Jiangmen in the afternoon, I'll just walk by myself, your store is still busy!

Yu Ce: I told my sister-in-law, she can watch, I want to walk with you, we may never have a chance to meet again in the future, in this life!

I nodded, maybe fate was arranged like this, and this day came to an end.

We walked together on the bluestone paved road after the rain, from the street to the end of the street, each small alley, at this time we were like old friends, very peaceful, very polite, very natural......

When we returned to the tofu factory, Officer Liu and Wang Jie had already driven the car to the opposite side of the tofu factory and waited for me.

Officer Liu: Ji Chu, can we go?

Me: Okay, please pick me up!

Officer Liu: Ji, you're polite.

Yu Ce: Hello Officer Liu, I haven't seen you for a long time!

Officer Liu: Hello Boss Yu, it's rare to see you, every time you meet, you are busy in the back.

Yu Ce: Hehe, Yu Yuan and I have a different division of labor.

Me: By the way, let me introduce you, Yu Ce, an old friend I met many years ago; Wang Jie, my colleague and I came from Jiangmen together, Officer Liu, you two know each other, so you don't need me to introduce you!

Officer Liu: Ji, no, I'm familiar with Boss Yu's tofu shop!

Yu Ce: That's right!

Wang Jie: Director Ji, it's amazing that you can meet an old friend here.

Yu Ce: Officer Wang, this is fate! By the way, Xiao An, I specially made an identical guitar, which can be regarded as a compensation for you! You wait, I'll get it for you.

Me: I've stopped playing guitar for a long time!

Yu Ce: I still want you to accept it.

He spoke sincerely, with sadness in his eyes.

Wang Jie: If you want to give Director Ji a guitar, is it the broken guitar?

Wang Jie saw that Yu Ce was inconvenient to walk, so he took the initiative to ask for help.

Yu Ce: Officer Wang, it's the one next to you, I'll get it, I'll come soon, please wait for me.

Wang Jie looked at me, and I motioned to listen to Yu Ce.

Yu Ce limped to the car with his guitar, and we walked a long way, and he was still standing in place looking at the direction of our car.

I used to think, "I'm relieved to know that you're not doing well, but when I really see such a good strategy, I still hope that he is intact and that he is well; After all, it was he who gave me tenderness when I was young and ignorant, although he also gave me pain, but whose youth was not hurt!"

The luggage and guitar were checked in, and I had a dream on the plane back to Jiangmen, in the dream, Lin Chengshu and I were very hurt because I couldn't have children, I cried and shouted for him not to leave me, but he went very resolutely, and when I woke up crying, Wang Jie next to me looked at me in a panic!

I've been thinking about this all the time, thinking about what Gu Bin really did! Yu Ce also knows him better!

When I get home, I turn on the guitar; It's really exactly the same as my previous guitar, except that the guitar has a piece of glass on it, which is familiar!

It was the piece of glass that Jansson gave me many years ago, model 0037; Xiao An is engraved under the glass!

Yu Ce's play is really well-intentioned, and he also gave me my favorite, which coincided with my original love.

I tried to pluck the strings, and it was a little rusty, but it also felt familiar; I finally couldn't hold back and started crying!

Before, now, and in the dream of the departure of Makoki Hayashi...... I feel like I'm back to when I broke up with Yu Ce, I feel lost, especially desperate!

I lit a cigarette and took a big gulp, a cigarette I hadn't smoked for years, and tonight, one after the other, couldn't take away my sorrows.

I smoked all night on the balcony barefoot and finally made myself sick; I had a high fever of 90 degrees, and I took medicine and slept at home by myself.

The high fever came and went, and I was depressed for a week, and this week was very painful......

The outlet for myself is to love Lin Chengshu well, tell him that I can't have children, give him the choice, and let him choose to separate from me or continue, let him be!