979 Every man has his own heart

-Ward 1701, M Hospital-

March 23rd

21：40 PM

Yang Mian thought that several of them had their own different experiences, but they always felt that they were connected somewhere. And Yang Mian also feels that everything is far from over, and this is just the beginning.

It's just getting started.

Qingming Shanghe map, just unfolded a small picture, already magnificent and wonderful, dizzying, I am no miracle in the world, there are no wonderful things, we do not believe that there is, so that our eyes are dull, the heart is numb, and finally even those wonderful things in front of us we can not see and hear.

It's the same with himself, strange things have happened, he knows Lin Jing, this person who can't be known at all, and it's - there is even an intersection! I can't help it, he is even struggling in his heart now, he feels that his crush must have a result, but he didn't think so a few days ago, he feels that everything is not so urgent. He didn't expect that one day he would fall into a state of emotional entanglement, and there were too many choices around him at once, but he was a little overwhelmed.

Yang Mian is also wondering if he is fantasizing, or even delusional.

What the hell is going on? What kind of joke did fate play on them? Is this a good thing? Or is it a bad thing? Yang Lai suddenly remembered a sentence, everything in God's hands is a good thing, and it is for the benefit of those who love him. He had an inexplicable confidence in his heart.

Yang Mian really hopes that everything about Xiuxiang is just a joke made by the writer, a story that the writer writes casually, this is not real life, Yang Mian smiled, "Everything is messed up." ”

Of course, he didn't know how to restore the original order, and he didn't know what the future direction of these people, including himself, was, because no one could see what the future would be.

However, Yang Mian also doesn't want this to be the direction of the future, because the sky in this direction is full of haze, as if it is a rainy day when you least want to go out, or the kind of weather with fog and fog, although the air is not very dirty, it is also very uncomfortable.

Now, Xiuxiang's state looks a little strange, saying that it is good, of course it can't be said, and saying that it is in a bad state, but I don't think it.

It's like now, Xiuxiang looks different from normal people, but if you take a closer look, you can notice that kind of atmosphere is different from ordinary people, even if you put aside the physical situation, he still feels that there is something strange, and Yang Yan doesn't feel that he has anything sensitive.

Xiuxiang's sleep was deep, and Yang Mian had already heard a slight snoring. Listen, it's not boring at all, "She's still a patient." ”

Yang Lai decided to hide his pity, which sometimes stings others. Although he pitied her for not having her parents by her side, and her relatives had no sense of existence, as if she were an orphan, but she had friends around her, and you said that she was a poor and lonely person, and that she had the comfort and provision around her, and that she was a rich person, which was obviously not in line with the facts.

So Yang Mian doesn't know how to evaluate Xiuxiang, probably only God really knows what this girl will do in the future.

"But it shouldn't be like this. Yang Lan also thought so in his heart, this is the same as Caiyue.

Xiuxiang is a woman like a flower, and there should be everything better. Yes, although her name is very earthy, but when you see her real person, you will find that only these two words are suitable for describing her, and she herself is not only elegant, generous and beautiful, but also quite delicate, not cheesy, that is, her appearance is very

ice and high-end, not the kind of beauty that is very standard, but the beauty is pure, there are not many words to describe, because a thousand words finally melt into one sentence: she is beautiful.

Yes, she is beautiful.

She is very beautiful, but you don't think her facial features look like anyone, in fact, you think she has an attractive temperament between her eyebrows and eyes.

When Yang Lan thought of this, he felt that Caiyue was a little vulgar in comparison, but why did he like Xiao Caiyue and not like the beautiful Xiuxiang. He suddenly realized, it turned out that he had been ignoring a fact, Yang Lan found that there were very few boys around a girl like Xiuxiang, and when such a thing suddenly jumped into Yang Lan's mind, he was not only shocked, but also puzzled, he knew that the one he loved could not be wrong, but he didn't know why these things happened to these people, why.

Didn't he punish the evil and promote the good?

Isn't he very righteous?

Isn't he very loving?

Doesn't he have it all?

Didn't he monitor people's hearts and know the truth?

Yang Lan now has a confusion in his heart, although he knows in his heart, he knows that he is completely right, and he also knows that the trajectory of all the fate he has given and arranged is completely unmistakable, and even full of good wishes, but many times he can't help but question in his heart, he doesn't understand why things happen like this, he knows that God is right, but he doesn't understand many things, and even sometimes doubts (in fact, many times he doubts), I don't know why this is happening.

980 The idea of "self-esteem".

-Ward 1701, M Hospital-

March 23rd

21：45 PM

Or rather, it is impossible to fully understand those things and practices from the perspective of righteousness and love.

Just like now, he knew that the trajectory of God's destiny was exactly right, but!

Why?

Why?

Why?

Yang Mian knew that he shouldn't even ask "Why?"

Just accept it, just obey it. However, people are like this, they like themselves, because they always obey when they can understand, in fact, even if they have fully understood, they do not necessarily choose their own path. It's so hard to get people to listen to what another being says. There is a kind of "self-respecting" idea in the bones of human beings, which is deeply ingrained. As a man, it is even more intense.

Unconsciously, those past customs came to occupy Yang Lan's heart again, and as a stumbling block on his way to becoming a "free newcomer", his road of trying to transform his thinking with European and American trends seemed to be difficult.

"Does she have any spells or curses?" Yang Lan suddenly thought.

Yang Mian remembered the stories that the old man in the family had told him before, and those stories left scars on his "young" mind, which had not completely healed even now, and those legends were too insidious.

It's all deception, in some form – some of that deception is obvious, some of it is subtle, but if you are reasonable, you will find that most of it is self-defeating, and some of it is even very stupid, and you don't know why people believe such nonsense.

Those old legends reveal the smell of decay and death, and even the mere listening to the prelude to those stories is annoying. What kind of uncomfortable story is that...... It's all lonely ghosts, monsters and the like, and it's really a big deal.5 It makes ghost stories a legal thing, but Yang Lan is deeply skeptical, and even he doesn't like that set of books very much, he thinks that this kind of book should be burned.

Like the evil stories in the book, the family was ruled by evil spirits, cursed, planted with witchcraft, controlled by inexplicable strange phenomena, and strange worship, set up strange formations, and some people even set up magic circles at home, etc., and there are strange stories that cannot be explained by science...... Yang Mian smelled the smell of danger.

He expects that those superstitions and evils will be burned by the fire, and only give people healthy and free air, and everyone will live in the sunshine every day, happy and happy, without troubles, without making people unhappy, unwilling, unassured, and uneasy, and there is no daily rush to toil, compete for fame and fortune, and compete for power, but he knows that this is the ideal and dream.

Therefore, he felt that the basis of happiness was freedom - he longed for freedom, which is why he came to God, but then he also heard from everyone that it was not he who came on his own initiative, it was God who chose him.

Freedom is a gift, so people should ope

Some, understand more, contact more, and have an ope for things you don't understand

mi

In the state of DED, we can't reject everything we don't understand, reject everything we don't like, reject everything that we find troublesome, and give up immediately if we feel a little difficult.

Maybe this treatment is also a part of the new thing, Yang Mian also tried to understand, he didn't ask too much, nor was he upset because the "top secret process" didn't bring him, he tried to do these things from the position of an escort, although the flower messenger is a very outdated word and description, but now it is very appropriate to put it on Yang Mian.

New things are gradually replacing what we are familiar with, the current world is a world of constant renewal, every day is new, every day the "new" replaces the "old", and our lives are constantly renewed, not like the beginning.

Therefore, knowing things, recognizing new things, accepting new things, and constantly discarding old things is an important process, an indispensable process for life now.

For new things, you can understand, but don't get caught up in them, understand and judge, look at the results, look at the end, don't be gullible or arrogant, and see if the so-called various trends of thought are "really good" for us. However, when it comes to faith, Yang feels that all the knowledge in the world is useless. Perhaps this is the trajectory of fate, he personally designed, deployed, implemented, took power, confirmed, verified, explained, supervised, and deployed all the resources to do it all himself.

Therefore, the trajectory of this fate belongs to fate, and no one has the right to explain it, nor does it have the right to change it, let alone have its own plan and time.

Therefore, Yang Mian suddenly jumped into his mind one day, "What will happen to me and Caiyue in the future?" He was startled by himself, as if his brain had frightened itself, and his brain was thinking, "Oh my God, I am actually a brain! I have these thoughts! I want to strike!"

Yang Lan thought it was quite interesting to think like this.