I sat at home, Xia was also very tired, went to school during the day, worked at night, saw the stitches and needles to do problems, held an English word book all the time, Xia for the first time, after returning home, did not sit at the coffee table to write homework, like me, threw himself on the sofa heavily, and sighed.

"Xia, are you going to the south with me?"

"What?"

"Go to the south, I'm sick, I can't go alone. I said.

"No, what about the people in your company, won't they be with you?"

"I have two meetings, go to one with them first, and then go to one myself. ”

"Are you alone? ”

"He's busy with the divorce, even busier. ”

"Oh. Xia whispered oh, no longer talking, I lay on the sofa, let Xia boil some water to take medicine, I took out a handful of vitamins and waited for hot water, I know, if at this time, I talk to Xia again, Xia will 100% refuse, I lie weak.

I'm really tired, I've been surrounded by this feeling every day for the past few months, and I've developed a muscle memory, and I only need a little bit of mobilization to be able to play vividly.

Xia stood next to me, watched me take medicine, and asked, "Why do you have to go on a business trip and change people?" ”

"Because only if I sign with him. ”

I'm lying on the bed, Xia is doing the test paper outside, I'm also weird, how can this girl be like playing chicken blood every day, after studying during the day and studying at night, she is also whirring when she works, and there is a huge energy field in her body, which is inexhaustible and inexhaustible.

I was lying on the bed, my shoulders were sore, when I was a child, I saw my father's body hurting, and it looked very good, if it hurt, it would not hurt if I lay motionless, and now it is my turn, and I finally know that pain is pain, and it will hurt no matter what. I reached for my gym card in the drawer, which I hadn't been there for half a year, and then threw it on the floor and fell asleep with a stuffed animal on my pillow.

In the dream, I was lying on the dark bottom of the sea, without an oxygen mask, breathing as usual, the silence around me was terrible, only I was alone gurgling and bubbling, gradually, I heard the sound of my own heartbeat, and then, I heard the sound of cell movement in my body, slowly, the sound was thinner, as if it was the friction of the bones, the sound was too terrible, I was covered with needles, I screamed, woke myself up from sleep.

Xia opened the door suddenly, pressed the light, I hugged the quilt, sweat on the door, I asked Xia what time it was, Xia said half past three.

"It's half past three, why haven't you slept yet? ”

"I can't sleep, are you okay?"

"It's okay, go to bed. "I pressed the lamp on the bedside, buried myself in the quilt, and forced myself to sleep, and I had to work tomorrow.

I waited until the sun shone on my quilt before I woke up, Xia made breakfast, very thick millet porridge, Xia was still reading textbooks while eating.

Xia was going to give Jia Ru an exam in the afternoon, and I remembered that Jia Ru didn't speak politely to Xia, so I felt that Xia was very aggrieved, and asked Xia, "She treats you like this, why do you still take the exam for her." ”

"There's no way, I grew up eating other people's food when I was a child, and I always have to pay it back. ”

What Xia forgot to tell me was that Jia Ru was the daughter of Brother Jia who stole Xia Qian at that time, and Xia never told Jia Ru about it.

"Don't talk about me, are you going to work? aren't you sick yet?" Xia brought the topic to me.

"Leader, pay attention to your wording, you're sick, I just didn't sleep well. "I know, I'm trying to go to the company, but what can I do, I want to make money, I want to eat, I want to pay my salary.

Xia drank porridge, was silent for a long time, and said, "I thought it would be okay to grow up, but it doesn't seem like this." ”

How should I answer, the way I live is not what Xia wants to be when he grows up, I drank the porridge in one go, knocked Xia's head with chopsticks, and said, "Don't think about uselessness, study hard." ”

I closed the door, the moment I walked into the elevator, I leaned against the wall in amazement, yes, this is not what I thought I grew up like when I was a child, I thought I would become a tall designer, ambitious when I was a child, but now only in vain, the moment the car came out of the underground garage, the sun shined on my face, warm, I remembered the scene of painting the sunrise in the field ten years ago, wearing a military coat, trembling holding the pen to draw this red scene, shaking is not because of cold, but excited, always feel that I am writing the history of painting, will be famous in history, young and vigorous body can not suppress this excitement at all, uncontrollable shaking.

The sun is not the sun of ten years ago, it is also ten years old, the whole world is ten years old, flowers and trees, are aging, but as soon as the sun comes out, everything is full of vitality.

In the afternoon, I went to the bar after work, and Xia was busy, and when I saw it, I said, "Didn't you say, don't you use it?"

"I'm going to the south, are you going? tomorrow. ”

At the moment when Xia hesitated, my face distorted and breathed, the pain was written on my face, I knew that Xia was uneasy about the outside world, even if it was me, she was half awake and half suspicious, her first reaction to all the things that brought her anxiety was to say no, I saw through Xia's amplified instability, but also saw through Xia's kind undertone, I needed personal care, and Xia felt that I owed too much.