Forty is not confused, fifty knows the destiny of heaven, and I am just forty-five. Every time I see myself in the mirror no longer have the childishness of youth, and there are crow's feet in the corners of my eyes, there will always be a kind of sadness in my heart: panic passes, I am still old alone after all. Is it fate that is not arranged, or is it self-inflicted?

In July, the weather is getting hotter and drier.

Putting on loose clothes, I began to tidy up the vegetable patch. This yard was sold to me by a friend two years ago, and it has been remodeled into a two-story building, which has both modern elements and ancient atmosphere, and the yard is not so bleak when I have planted vegetables and placed flower pots.

"Dangdangdang~" As soon as I finished pulling the grass, someone knocked on the door, could it be Momo, Qianxue, the video said a few days ago that he was going to get together.

I didn't bother to wash my hands, wiped my sweat and went to open the door.

I was about to close the door immediately, maybe because I was old, or maybe because I didn't exercise much in the past six months since I resigned, Cheng Muhui blocked my full strength with one hand.

I simply let go, my heart was mixed, and I couldn't breathe for a while. White shirt, sweatpants, black and white became his standard at some point, and there were two big suitcases behind him, I quietly calmed down and asked coldly, "What are you doing here?"

"Ten years ago, you said we would be together if I could wait until you resigned, so here I am. He smiled, and the two familiar dimples tinged my heart like an awl at the moment.

I have not forgotten that at that time, in order to let him leave as soon as possible, I endured the heartache and said perfunctorily: "If I resign and you are not married, come to me again." "At that time, I thought I would work until I retired, but he was just doing his final struggle.

We haven't seen each other in 10 years. Later, I knew that he often played Weibo, so I opened a trumpet and followed him silently, watching him fly everywhere at home and abroad, and his business became bigger and bigger. Sometimes when I look at the photos of him alone, I wonder if there is someone outside the camera to take care of him in my place, and I am sad and laugh at myself for being unfounded.

"What, do you want to regret it again, and push me away?"

I lowered my head and didn't dare to look at him, my eyes gradually became clouded, obviously I have always loved him deeply, obviously I have been waiting for him, but I still don't dare, I don't dare to leave him, I am afraid that it will bring him not happiness but bad luck, so many lessons from the past, I really don't want to make the nightmare come true.

I bit my lip and clenched my fists at a loss, not wanting to turn away and not daring to take a step forward.

Suddenly, Cheng Muhui hugged me tightly, my body trembled, and I heard him whisper in my ear: "Don't torture each other anymore, no matter what the result, isn't it good for us to spend the rest of our lives together?"

What I regret the most is to have this hard life of being weak and self-denying, but I have never regretted meeting you, Cheng Muhui.

I involuntarily hugged him back, sniffed my nose and said, "Cheng Muhui, I, miss you very much, miss you very much......"

"So what are you hesitating about? Promise me. He took me by the shoulders and stared at me.

Yes, we are all old, maybe the wind and waves have passed, Yuexi, Yuexi, at the age of forty-five, can't you learn to bravely resist fate?

"But what if ......," I choked up, not knowing what to say.

I saw that Cheng Muhui's eyes were a little red, he pursed his lips and said: "I've thought about it a lot over the years, what if there is bad luck, anyway, it's a bad old man, maybe the king of Hades also dislikes it, is it, you also dislike me now......"

I immediately cried, completely like a child, and suddenly threw myself into Cheng Muhui's arms, the familiar taste, the familiar temperature, the thoughts of the past ten years turned into tears at this moment and almost drowned me.

After a long time, I raised my head, touched the little white hair on his sideburns and said, "Cheng Muhui, let's start again." Regardless of the past, regardless of the future, okay?"

At that moment, I could feel my heart come alive and thump into the most beautiful notes. It turns out that loving someone can really be so unforgettable, and it turns out that missing someone can really be so heart-wrenching.