My surname is Zhang, and my single name is Shuo.

On the New Year of '98, my father bought fireworks and firecrackers into the house, and in the evening, my friends enviously followed me.

Every Chinese New Year's Eve, many uncles come to the house to talk to their father, they drive cars, carry large bags of things into the door, and also carry black bags out of the door.

Once, I peeked into a lot of "toy guns" in the black bag, and later learned that they were all real, and my dad was the head of the smuggler.

"Xiao Shuo, come, uncle will give you a New Year's red envelope. ”

"Thank you, uncle. ”

In the envious eyes of my friends, I happily took the New Year's bag handed by my uncles when they went out to leave.

There was a lot of money in it, enough for me to buy a lot of toys and new clothes.

The uncle smiled and rubbed my head.

"Xiao Shuo, remember, don't avenge your father, my uncle is also involuntary and unavoidable, if I don't do it, someone will want my life, let your father stay a ......"

Uncle is gone, but I'm too young to understand what he says.

Bang, bang......

Fireworks explode in the sky, accompanied by falling snowflakes.

I saw the uncle's car gradually drive into the night.

Bang, boom......

In the sound of fireworks, I was swept away by a wave of air and fell into the snow, my eyes dizzy and my head heavy.

Beautiful fireworks reflected and bloomed in my eyes, and the soaring firelight reflected the beauty of the sky on the ground.

I heard the cries, and I could vaguely see many people running and shouting not far away, and my home was already on fire.

My mother ran up to me and hugged me, crying loudly, very sad and desperate, and my heart rose with anxiety and fear.

Someone was screaming in the fire, and I seemed to see my father's figure struggling inside, tears flowed inexplicably from the corners of my eyes, and I felt as cold as if I was frozen in this snowy day.

Later, the fire was extinguished, my father was gone, and the house was renovated.

My father's brothers would come to visit my mother and me at first, and give some money from time to time, but the people who went away for eternity remained the same, and the number of people who came gradually decreased, and finally it was completely gone.

The days are getting harder and harder.

I often heard my mother crying in the middle of the night, and I didn't know what to do for fear of upsetting her.

It's the New Year again, but I don't have any new clothes, and it's the New Year with my mother to eat a plate of salted vegetables.

"I ...... Can I play with you......"

I ran out into the snow to play with my friends with fireworks, but this year no one in my family bought them and looked at them with envy.

"No, my dad said he wouldn't let me play with you. ”

"That's it, my mother also said that she was not allowed to give it to you, whoever called your house was dark, and playing with you would kill people. ”

"Let's go, let's ignore the little black molecule, he won't end well in the future, my uncle said that he eats the national food. ”

I walked back to the threshold and sat down, my thin clothes were a little cold in the snow, I looked at them enviously, and heard the laughter of my friends.

In their eyes, I became a little black molecule, and what I got was cold eyes, and I no longer had envious eyes.

I ran into the house in tears of grievance.

"Mom, where is Dad, I miss Dad. ”

"Dad will come back, we have to live well and wait for him to come back......"

My mother hugged me in pain, and I didn't know why she was crying.

After the New Year, my mother sold the house and took me back to the town, where she used the savings from the sale of the house to open a grocery store in the east of the town in order to make a living.

As the days passed, I went to junior high school.

Many old men come to the grocery store, and groping hands reach out to their mothers.

Later, Liu Daqiang, who ran a travel company next door, came out for his mother and beat up a few old men, and a lot of gossip reached my ears.

One time the school was organizing an event on a Friday, and I got home an hour earlier than usual when I got home an hour earlier than usual, and I heard what looked like a woman screaming in the back room.

"Mom, you...... You ......"

When I lifted the curtain and appeared in the back room, I saw Liu Daqiang pressing his mother under him.

I was stunned.

"I'm going to kill you. ”

I roared and clenched my fists and rushed forward, eager to kill him.

They stopped, and Liu Daqiang looked back, and my fist was already in front of him, while my mother was screaming in panic for me to stop.

Liu Daqiang's arms were thicker than my thighs, and before my fist hit him in the face, he raised his hand and pinched it, as if it was blocked by an iron plate.

"Xiaoshuo is still just a child, you ...... Don't be like him, I'll do a good job of ideological work, or you'll ...... You're going back first?"

My mother got up and pulled Liu Daqiang's clothes, her face was full of panic and panic, and she didn't dare to make eye contact with me.

I froze, my mother volunteered?

"Hmm. ”

Liu Daqiang nodded, released my fist, and got up to leave.

I stared at my disheveled mother, clenched my fists into a fist, anger, incomprehension, and depression filling my heart and climbing up my cheeks.

"Why did you betray your father, why?"

When my mother looked up, I felt a shock in my heart when I saw her pale face, and two lines of tears slid down her cheeks, sad and sad.

"Mom just wants to live and live better, and I don't dare to tell you that the grocery store is running out......"

As she spoke, she covered her mouth and choked up, which made me sad for a while.

If I can support this family, she won't have to......

Hate me for being incompetent, hate me for being too young, hate me for not being a man.

"Mom, I'...... I ......"

I clenched my fists, but I didn't know what to say, and scolded her for being unchaste, saying that I could take care of this family.

Nothing can be said, nothing can be done.

In order to live, to live better.

I didn't have a choice, and a few days later, my mother and Liu Daqiang got their certificates.

They set up a few tables of banquets, but they put me aside and gave me money to go to the restaurant, saying that it was unlucky to bring a drag oil bottle on the wedding day.

Two weeks later, when they returned from their honeymoon, my mother appeared in front of me with a red face and a fashionable floral dress.

While she told me what she had seen and heard these days, she packed my things for me, and I saw a sweet smile on her face, joy, happiness, excitement and a beautiful vision for the future.

When the grocery store closed, my heart still twitched twice, and two tears dripped out of my heart.

Since my father left, life has always been full of ups and downs, this time to move to a new home, a home that does not belong to me, will I be happy?

I turned around and wiped away my tears, not wanting my mother to see my sad face, she should be happy and happy.

Although Liu Daqiang's company is located in the east of the town, the place where he lives is in the center of the town, a very luxurious house.

My mother informed Liu Daqiang in advance, and I saw him standing by the door to greet him from afar.

There was a girl my age standing beside him, with a ponytail, her face full of impatience, and her little mouth curled high, and she knew that she was very unhappy.

I was pulled forward by my mother, and Liu Daqiang hurriedly took the luggage in our hands and introduced me to the girl.

"Xiaoyou, call my brother quickly. ”

"He still wants to be my brother when he's so poor, why should he? Hmph, you'd better stay away from me in the future. ”

Xiao You snorted coldly, dropped a sentence and turned around and entered the house, which made me extremely embarrassed.

Before Liu Daqiang could make a move, I saw my mother hurriedly stepping forward to grab him.

"It's all children, they're still young, they're not sensible, just take it slowly. ”

Liu Daqiang nodded and turned his head to look at me.

"Uncle usually spoils her, Xiao Shuo don't take it to heart. ”

I don't know if they're acting, but I'm obviously uncomfortable, and I have to smile and nod and pretend to be generous.

When I got home, Liu Daqiang helped me carry my luggage into the bedroom, and he took out a few hundred yuan for me, telling me to buy a few sets of new clothes and take a shower by the way, while he and his mother cleaned up the room for me.

When I met his eyes, although the face was smiling kindly, I could feel his lofty gesture of charity, and I didn't want to take it, but under the pressure of my mother's eyes, I smiled and thanked him and took the money.

I feel very bad in my heart, and I feel so embarrassed.

My mother took me to the door.

She touched my head and said, as long as I am well-behaved and learn to bow my head and be a man, I will have new clothes, a good life, and pocket money.

I bowed my head silently, inexplicably sad.

I bought new clothes alone, washed away the sour poverty in Xiaoyou's eyes, and when I got home, the room was already cleaned up, and a new computer was still placed.

Knock Knock......

I got up and opened the door that was knocking, and my stepsister Xiaoyu stood outside, looking at me proudly.

"Well, write my homework for me. ”

"Why?"

"What do you say?"

She sneered and shoved her homework into my hand, turned around and writhed quite fast* away.

"You ......"

I was about to drop my homework on the ground, but suddenly I thought of what my mother said, to keep my head down and be a man.

Clenching the homework in my hand, I glared at her back hatefully, gritted my teeth and turned around and walked back to the room.

Since I had basically written all of her homework, I was able to finish it in less than half an hour.

When I was done, I knocked on her door with my homework.

Squeak......

As soon as the door opened, a girl's fragrance came to my nose.

Xiao You took the homework in my hand, and I saw that her face was rosy, her breathing was still a little short, and the breath she exhaled seemed to be about to catch up with the sultry temperature around her.

"You wait. ”

I frowned, her situation seemed a little weird.

I thought she was going to thank me with something, but she took out a bunch of dirty clothes and stuffed them into my arms.

"Dirty, washed. ”

Because of the more clothes, the door opened a little wider, and I saw that some kind of small video was playing on her computer screen, although I couldn't hear the sound, but the woman was moving......

Bang......

She was stunned for a moment, and she closed the door.

I immediately got a little angry and wanted to raise my hand and knock on the door to stuff her dirty clothes back, but my mother's words came back to my mind, and I gritted my teeth again and walked into the bathroom with my dirty clothes in my arms.

I was about to use the washing machine, but I found that it was broken, and I almost twisted my brows into a rope in the mirror, no wonder she wanted to throw it to me, it turned out to be because of hand washing.

I washed it by hand on the washboard, but just halfway through it, two red shorts and three suspenders were pinched in my hands, especially the small pants still exuded a unique smell.

The suspender bandeau wafts the girlish fragrance, it is something indescribable, which makes me smell some blood boiling, and there is an inexplicable impulse in my heart.

Thinking of the small video I saw before, the impulse is a little stronger, I am in the period of youth and ignorance, I am particularly sensitive to this aspect, and I can't help but imagine all kinds of pictures in my mind.

I seem to be able to see Xiao You wearing red shorts and a pink bandeau sitting in front of the computer watching a small video, she raises her legs, following the action in the video, will her delicate little face show a charming expression......

The more I thought about it, the more I got angry, the more excited and excited I became, as if I had seen Xiao You lying on a big bed, taking off her bandeau and pants to play with the small mountain peaks that were sassy......

This kind of thought is out of control and can no longer be suppressed.

"You...... What are you doing?"

Xiao You's exclamation frightened me, and I subconsciously wanted to hide the things in my hand, but I found that it was too late.

"I ...... I'm doing laundry ......"

I was as frightened and nervous as a thief was caught, and I turned my head to look at my stepsister who appeared by the door, and saw that she was blushing and full of anger, but the eyes seemed to have experienced something before, and at this moment it seemed to be a little autumn and watery, and the affection was subtle.