It is said that before the experience of death, people will see all kinds of things that happened before them, and even some things that they can't remember.

It's called a marquee.

Is this what it looks like now?

I don't know, but does that mean I'm dead?

I'm dead...... I really don't have any regrets about seeing my grandfather again before he dies.

But I felt a little empty, as if there was a gap that could not be filled anyway.

After my grandfather died, I lived alone.

When I was sorting out my grandfather's belongings, I found that in the cabinet, my grandfather had hidden thousands of dollars.

A few thousand dollars, which doesn't seem like much now, but for our family, it's a huge amount of money.

This is what grandpa usually saves by frugality.

Later I learned that my grandfather had cancer, lung cancer, and smoked too much...... But Grandpa never went to the hospital and never used the money.

This was left to me by my grandfather.

But then, my two parents, who didn't know where to go, and didn't come back when my grandfather died, appeared, took the money for themselves, and then disappeared again.

Since then, I've lived alone, working hard and living like a dog.

Those people who used to bully me, after seeing that I had no backer, wanted to come and bully me, four or five...... That was the first time I actually got into a fight with someone.

I can't beat them, there are a lot of them, but I'm like a madman, biting off one of them's ear.

The child was crying there, and the other children were scared away, and the child's parents came running and wanted to beat me, and I took a kitchen knife and waved it indiscriminately, and slashed the child's father.

I have no money, I'm only nine years old......

I was not punished in any way, and since then, they have called me a mad dog behind my back.

I live a life of one person, relying on the country's policy, going to school for free, and doing odd jobs on my own to survive.

I've always remembered what my grandfather said, even if you are alone, you have to live well.

In the school class, I was an offbeat, and there were never girls who would approach me, but occasionally boys would come to me and give me money to help me fight.

As soon as I showed up, the other students all shy away, even the bastards in the school, because they knew that I would do anything for money.

In fact, sometimes, when I see other classmates in pairs, I feel envious in my heart, but I know that no girl will look up to my situation.

But there are exceptions to everything, I have forgotten what the reason is, anyway, in the first year of high school, there was a girl who confessed to me.

It's still a very beautiful, quiet and cute girl.

I was so excited at the time, I didn't expect my spring to come.

But after calming down, I refused.

I know that people like me are not qualified to fall in love.

The first year of high school barely got by, and in the second year of high school, I finally couldn't support it, it was the time to grow my body, and the amount of food also increased greatly, but I went to do odd jobs for a short time after school, which was not enough for my living expenses at all.

I dropped out of school.

It was at that time that I met the first noble person in my life, Brother Yang.

I met during a fight, and Brother Yang took me into the industry and taught me some rules on the road.

My income also began to increase slowly at that time, and sometimes I could make more than 100 yuan a day.

Although embarrassed, although sometimes injured, but the person ...... You have to live.

I still remember that at that time, our job was to help people collect accounts, help people watch the field, and help people fight.

I still remember the first time I went out with Brother Yang to ask for an account, I met a mother and daughter.

It's also a very pitiful kind, a single mother.

When we passed, the mom was getting ready to go to work, dressed very sexy and hot, and she was working in a nightclub.

Miniskirts, black stockings, high heels, heavy eye shadow, I don't know if it's because the fat powder on my face is too thick, or because I was scared, after seeing us, my face was immediately pale.

At that time, I knelt on the ground, kept kowtowing, my scalp was broken, oozing blood, and I hoped that we could give us two days of grace.

This mother is very pitiful, she supports her child alone, and I heard that the child happens to be seriously ill and wants to go to the hospital, and she has no money, so she can only go out and sell it.

Seeing the appearance of that mother, Brother Yang was also helpless, and scolded the mother loudly, and then said Get the money ready as soon as possible, otherwise, you will pull your daughter out and sell it.

The scolding was terrible and hurtful, but we didn't do it in the end.

What can we do, seeing that we have no money, even if we beat this woman up, what is the use?

The human heart is made of flesh.

When we encounter the kind of old man who doesn't pay back the money, we will rush over, beat the person violently, and then almost use the robbery to get the money away.

But when we encounter this kind of money, we really don't have money.

The woman was just kowtowing and saying thank you.

Her daughter was hiding behind the door, poking her head out to look at us, her memory was a little blurry, I couldn't remember what the girl looked like, but she seemed beautiful.

It's just skinny, pale, and obviously severely malnourished.

He seemed to still have a high fever, and his face was sickly flushed.

When I saw this mother, I remembered the grandfather who raised me alone.

I couldn't help but feel a little sour in my heart, and I didn't know what was going on, the ghost sent God to drop the two hundred yuan I earned from yesterday's fight in my pocket to the ground.

Maybe I just want this girl to be treated for a high fever.

But I didn't expect that when I turned around to leave, the girl grabbed my arm, held two hundred yuan in her hand and said to me, big brother, your money has dropped.

I felt a little embarrassed, maybe a little embarrassed, and insisted that I didn't lose the money, and the money wasn't mine.

But the girl grabbed the corner of my coat and said that it looked like it had fallen out of my pocket.

I felt super embarrassed, my face was hot, probably trying to maintain my poor face, so I pushed the girl away, saying that I didn't lose money, you were wrong.

The girl was very weak and sick, and I had so much strength that I pushed her to the ground at once.

The girl's knees were worn out, and I regretted it a little, but I didn't want to lose face in front of my brothers.

At that age, plus those who do this business, they attach great importance to face.

I said to the girl fiercely, tell your mother to make more money and pay it back sooner, or I'll sell you to a nightclub.

It's ridiculous to think about it now.

Obviously, he was a poor man at that time, and he had to slap his swollen face and become fat.

I was only two hundred yuan on my body, and after that, I was hungry all day, and I really couldn't help it, so I borrowed a hundred yuan from Brother Yang.

Ah, ah, is it really a marquee? It's really about to die, and even this shameful memory that I deliberately forgot came out.

Even if it's a memory, it feels super embarrassing.

Others, it seems, don't have particularly precious memories.

That is, after arriving at the Liu family......

Liujia ......

As soon as these two words came to mind, I couldn't help but think of my wife Liu Ruyan, my sister-in-law Liu Ningyan, my stepdaughter Ellie, and my mother-in-law Liu Xianglan......

In all my memories, except for the days when I lived with my grandfather, these days are the most precious and happy.

Although there were some conflicts at the beginning, the women of the Liu family are not the kind of bad people.

In this home that is not my home, I feel warmer than I have ever been.

I have people and things that I want to catch and protect.

This is the most precious and unavoidable memory in this world.

I don't have a grandfather anymore, do I mean that even these happiness are going to leave me now?

Die?

Sometimes, I really think about it.

I couldn't live this day, it was a crime, when I was tired on the construction site, fainted from hunger in the classroom, lying on the bed and watching my hands full of blood blisters, just for the dozens of dollars, I really thought about dying.

However, I persevered, because I promised my grandfather that even if I was alone, I would live well.

So, I've been desperate, desperately trying to keep myself alive.

No matter how hard the days are.

Even when I remembered it before, I felt dead, at least not anymore.

But just when I thought of the women of the Liu family, a strong feeling emerged in my heart.

I don't want to die, I can't die, I want to live well.

No matter how long this happiness lasts, I really want to live......