Ouyang Shu got into a taxi, and the driver asked Mr. where he was going as he drove away.

After driving for a long time, the driver impatiently parked the car on the side of the road and asked him where he wanted to go.

Perhaps, only those test tubes and bottles and cans can make his heart at peace.

Sitting in the car, Ouyang Shu could not restrain himself from recalling Yang Zishan's words over and over again: "I have been in love with him for 12 years, almost all my youth!" Yes, 12 years, I have been in love with Ou Tongyang since I was 18 years old.

So what about Ou Tongyang? Does Ou Tongyang love her? No, Yang Zishan said, they are not even friends, Ou Tongyang does not love her. However, Ou Tongyang knew, he must have known that Yang Zishan loved him, how could he allow a woman who loved him so much to marry his brother!

Although the two brothers have been separated since childhood, they have grown up and have gathered less and separated more, but they care for each other no less than other brothers. The premiere of each of Ou Tongyang's films, no matter how far away, Ouyang Shu would rush to participate, and sometimes he didn't even have time to say a word before returning to the airport. And Ouyang Shu's graduation ceremony, Ou Tongyang will definitely come to attend, even if he shaved his head just in time for him to shoot a Qing drama. Every year on Mom and Dad's birthday, it is the happiest time for their brothers, they can get together to drink and sing, go to ball and boxing together, and even wrestle. Ou Tongyang is very good at wrestling, Zhao Enhe is not his opponent, Zhao Enhe admires the person who can wrestle the most, praises him as a hero, he always smiles shyly, saying that it is needed for filming.

Their estrangement began when Ouyang Shu got married, and since then, they have only seen gifts and no one, and even phone calls and greetings are just a few words.

But Ouyang Shu knew that Ou Tongyang had actually been paying attention to his younger brother all along. He is the same, every time there is news about Ou Tongyang, whether it is on TV or in the newspaper, Li Yan will always send him the time of broadcast or publication as soon as possible, and he always tries to squeeze out time to watch it. I remember that not long after Nan Nan was born, Ou Tongyang participated in a variety show, and the host said that he was dressed very differently today, very homely, and very warm. There were a few children in the show, he hugged them and refused to let go, insisting that he was the king of children, saying that he likes children very much now, which caused many reporters to ask him about his marriage. After the end of this variety show, many reports speculated whether he already had his own Beibei. Only Ouyang Shu knew that he was actually worried about his little niece. Many of Nannan's toys have not been opened, most of them are mailed by him from all over the country, and he has been mailing non-stop since he learned that Yang Zishan is pregnant, as well as the clay cows he made himself. He didn't come, but Ouyang Shu saw his sadness on the TV in the ward, it was at the closing press conference of the TV series "Resisting the Enemy", Ou Tongyang has been sitting in the audience, and has been avoiding the camera, of course the reporter will not let him go as the leading actor, and he was finally filmed crying. The director came over to relieve him, and told reporters how difficult the filming of this drama was, how much effort all the cast and crew had put in, and so on. Ouyang Shu knew that their tears were all shed for that little elf.

Yang Zishan waited anxiously in the corridor of the laboratory, and greeted Ouyang Shu as soon as she saw her.

The last thing Ouyang Shu wanted to see at this time was this woman, he didn't want to listen to her, and he didn't want to say a word to her. He turned and ran out.

The woman's shout stopped him: "Don't you want to know why Nan Nan died?"

Ouyang Shu buried himself on the sofa in the lounge and closed his eyes. Only the violent rise and fall of his chest showed his uneasiness at the moment. Yang Zishan sat across from him, her hands clutching the edge of the file bag, tears pouring out of her eyes. After a long time, she finally calmed down her emotions, took out the medical record from it, opened it, and put it on the table in front of Ouyang Shu.

"Ouyang, it's because of me, because of my illness. ”

Ouyang Shu opened his eyes and looked at the medical record book, the handwriting on it was dancing dragons and phoenixes, but he could still recognize it, it was 'hereditary manic depressive psychosis'. He doesn't understand, he really doesn't understand, Yang Zishan is mentally ill? She killed her daughter?

After Yang Zishan shouted those words, Ouyang Shu quickly thought about all kinds of possibilities for hurting his daughter, and even thought of poisoning, and he also fantasized that if he knew the culprit, he would fight for his life and seek justice for his daughter. But now, Yang Zishan said that her daughter was because of her illness and mental illness. By the way, heredity, could it be that the daughter inherited her mental illness?

"You're saying it's because you've inherited your mental illness, but she's so small, and you're so old......"

Ouyang Shu frowned, puzzled.

"Ouyang, if you look at the time of diagnosis, it was when I was 5 months pregnant. This disease does not flare up and is no different from normal people, but after I became pregnant, my immunity decreased, and I often thought about it alone at home, so I became ill. I often delusionally thought that someone was going to harm me, and I didn't dare to eat or drink water. I... I still want to hurt you, I broke the brakes of your car. Do you remember once Enhe said that the brakes were broken, and that was what I did, but I was not professional, and he found out at once, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable. Ouyang, you don't know how scared I was at that time, I felt like I was going to die, and I took a lot of medicine that I thought would be an antidote. All the gynecological examinations you took me to, I hid the medicine prescribed by the doctor, and I didn't dare to take it, because I thought you were going to kill my child, and at that time I always thought that this child was not yours, and once you knew the truth, you would definitely kill her. Hmmm......"

With a sigh, Ouyang Shu leaned his head on the sofa. Nan Nan turned out to be killed by his own mother, and the indirect murderer was his father.

At that time, he was not unaware of Yang Zishan's abnormality, but at that time, he had just learned a little bit about the clues that she might like Ou Tongyang. In the first year after they got married, on his mother's birthday, Ou Tongyang made an exception and did not come back, but only congratulated him through videos and gifts, Yang Zishan's disappointment was so obvious, he was afraid that the old man would see it, so he hurriedly took her back to Qingpu, and she was just pregnant at that time. Later, he thought that everything was abnormal because of Ou Tongyang, all he could do was to hide away and try to avoid meeting her. I always come home late in the evening and leave early in the morning. In order not to let the old man find out, during his parents in Shanghai, he did not let Yang Zishan return to Yanyuan, reducing her chance to meet her parents, for which his father was very dissatisfied and reprimanded him fiercely. During that time, he rarely even participated in normal business activities, especially those that required his family.

Ouyang Shu was so regretful and heartbroken. It turned out that his fate with his daughter in this life was ruined by his negligence. If he had cared a little more, if he had been more patient, if he had not maintained that ridiculous self-esteem, his lovely daughter would have lived a healthy and happy life.

Looking at the teary-eyed Yang Zishan, and thinking of the little lovely person on the hospital bed in the past few months, thinking of her weak and soft body in her arms, and thinking of the cold tombstone in the suburbs, her heart was like a knife, and she couldn't help covering her face with her hands, crying silently: "I thought, I thought... I thought you were sad and scared because of Ou Tongyang, I thought, I thought... You hide yourself because you're afraid that I'll find out about your relationship, I've always been lucky, thinking that as long as the child is born, you will live with me with peace of mind, but I didn't expect... I didn't expect that I would be so careless and hurt my daughter...... My ......"

Yang Zishan walked to the sofa, sat down next to Ouyang Shu, and held his hand crying.

"Ouyang, don't torture yourself like this, I don't blame you, it's really me, it's me who didn't protect her, I was wrong, it was I who destroyed our home with my own hands. Don't blame yourself, you should blame me, don't do this, I'm even more uncomfortable if you do this! You scold me, you can blame me, don't blame yourself! Ouyang!"

Ouyang Shu took a deep breath, calmed down his excitement, and asked, "How did you know you were sick later?"

Yang Zishan let go of Ouyang Shu's hand, wiped her tears, and took out all the information in the file bag. There is a photo in it, which looks very similar to Yang Zishan, but the demeanor is different when you look closely.

"This is my mom, she died when I was five years old. Do you remember when you sent me back to Nanjing last year, when I stayed at home for a few days, it was my father who noticed that something was wrong with me and told me about my mother? He regretted it and said it would have been nice to have told me earlier. I thought I could protect me by hiding from me, but I didn't expect that I still inherited my mother's disease. My mom committed suicide because of depression, she loved my dad, but she always felt that he loved someone else. You know that Dad is a banker and socializes a lot, but Dad didn't understand it at the time, and he didn't take good care of Mom's emotions. Now that I mentioned it, my father couldn't extricate himself. So, after I returned to Shanghai, I went to the mental health department for a check-up, and the result of the examination was this. When I told you to go to physiotherapy, I actually went to the clinic. I met with several counsellors who helped me find the cause of the disease so that I could treat the symptoms. Because I was pregnant, I couldn't take medication and I couldn't do electrotherapy, so the doctor recommended psychotherapy. They thought that the root of my illness was emotional, and that I had to relax and do whatever I wanted to alleviate the symptoms. ”

Yang Zishan looked up at Ouyang Shu and said cautiously, "They suggested finding Ou Tongyang directly. ”

"Don't stare at me like that, in a hypnotic state, you can even say about bedwetting when you were a child. Of course I didn't agree. The result of our discussion is fantasy therapy, finding someone who is similar to Ou Tongyang, realizing the fantasy of love and relieving mental pressure. That is, the male movie stars you saw later, you only saw three, in fact, I changed one every month. The clinic helped me find people, and I paid the money to the clinic, but I don't know who these people are, I just call them Ah Tong. The doctor told me not to look at me like that! What we do is to eat, watch movies, dance, and talk about sensual love things like young people are in love, and that's it. That's how it happened, you know I'm not in the habit of lying. If you're still not convinced, here are the business cards of all the doctors I've seen before, as well as their biographies, you can ask. As for the movie stars, maybe you can find one or two to testify for me, but you may have to pay them for appearances. ”

Such a thing was unheard of by Ouyang Shu. First of all, he naturally doubted Yang Zishan's integrity, but seeing that her eyes were clear, and there were so many people who could testify, if she lied, it would be easy to be exposed. Then he began to doubt his hearing, it must have been that he didn't understand, but Yang Zishan's words were in his ears. Then he wondered if there was something wrong with his IQ, and he couldn't understand such a strange treatment. Finally, he felt that he had found the crux of the problem: "Fantasy therapy? Why don't you look for me? I look the most similar to Ah Tong, isn't it more effective?"

Yang Zishan saw that his sanity finally slowly recovered, and she also saw his pretending to be smart expression, and a bitter smile floated on her cheeks: "You don't know how to perform, so you are not qualified! Also, the doctor said that in this emotional crisis, you are the one who is the victim, and what I am afraid of is actually you, how can I imagine you as the person I love." ”

Ouyang Shu was defeated, and he sighed in frustration, and couldn't help but his eyes began to straighten. It turned out to be like this, it turned out to be like this, there was only the plaintiff, not the defendant. If Zhao Jina's death can be attributed to the fact that science is not developed enough and the testing of blood is not in place, he can study chemical analysis and develop a method of rapid blood detection to avoid the tragedy of blood transfusion infection with AIDS from happening again, then what should be done about the tragedy of Nan Nan? They are all innocent and responsible.

"Ouyang, I know you're in pain. Actually, I've always wanted to explain things to you clearly. Since I was no longer hallucinating, I wanted to explain it to you, but every time you were furious, refused to listen to me even a word, and did not answer my calls. I was in treatment at the time and couldn't stop because there were always a few failed indicators in each test. The test results I got today were satisfactory, and the doctor said that I would not need to do any more treatment. ”

Ouyang Shu said bitterly: "I don't dare to listen, I thought... I thought, I'm afraid, I've always been afraid to listen, I'm afraid you'll mention Atong. I don't want to hear it..."

"It's all over, Ouyang, you see, this is my latest test result, everything is normal. Thank you for your patience and listening to me. Yang Zishan began to collect the photos, business cards, medical records and other things on the table into the file bag.

"Yes, everything is over, but Nan Nan will never come back!, my poor daughter......" Ouyang Shu lowered his head and put his right hand over his eyes.

Yang Zishan sat down opposite Ouyang Shu again, and called him softly: "Ouyang, Ouyang, Ah Shu, Ah Shu! Don't be like this! Actually, our daughter is very smart, she knows that it is the best time for her to leave now, she can take away our complete love, she doesn't want to grow up in a single-parent family, and she doesn't imagine her mother to experience emotional sadness and illness, so she left." You don't see how peaceful she is, just like that, like an angel, slowly closing her eyes. You should have seen the smile on her lips, right? She walked away with a smile. Tears rolled down Yang Zishan's cheeks again, and her voice was infinitely gentle.

The room was very quiet, and it was slowly getting dark, and it was impossible to see each other's faces. Everything was blurred, except for the neon light from the window shining through the window on the cold tiled floor.

The two of them were silent, and they became two sculptures.

I don't know how long it took, Ouyang Shu finally raised his head, took a deep breath, leaned himself back on the sofa, and looked at the vague figure in front of him. He listened to too many explanations on this day, subverting his unfounded speculations for a year, yes, unfounded speculations. He tortured his own heart, it turned out that it was so low, humble, that he suspected that his dearest brother would betray him, that he thought of his wife so badly, and that he was to blame for all his pain. And the person in front of him, knowing that he had been misunderstanding her all along, had been speculating about her with the heart of a villain, and still tried his best to explain to him over and over again, just because he couldn't bear to see him in pain, compared to her, he was really a patient.

"What are you thinking?" Yang Zishan vaguely saw that he raised his head, but there was no sound for a while, so she asked.

Ouyang Shu was very glad that it was dark, so that Yang Zishan could not see his annoyed expression, and said, "I think, I need to see a psychiatrist." ”

One sentence made Yang Zishan laugh: "Okay, I'll take you there, you can still get a discount." ”

Ouyang Shu always felt that there was one more thing to deal with, what it was, but he couldn't remember it. I had to stand up and say, "Go home first, and see a doctor tomorrow." ”

Yang Zishan hesitated, didn't speak, and followed him out of the door.

Along the way, Ouyang Shu fell asleep again, he seemed to have put down a big stone in his heart, and slept like a baby. When the car arrived in Qingpu, Yang Zishan did not wake him up, and let him lean on the seat until he woke up.

Ouyang Shu finally woke up. He got out of the car and waited next to the car, but Yang Zishan didn't get down for a long time, but opened the window, hesitated, and opened and closed his mouth. In the end, he said to him: "Ouyang, in fact, I have thought about it for a long time, and we are not suitable. ”

Yang Zishan's words surprised Ouyang Shu, he threw himself in front of the car window, and asked excitedly, "Why? Haven't our misunderstandings been cleared up? Are you still angry that I misunderstood you?"

"No, Ouyang. Although there is no coercion, you and I both know that our marriage is actually a business marriage, you are not ready to love others, and I agreed to marry you because I was desperate for love. This year and a half is like a purgatory of feelings, you are exhausted, and I am also suffering. Now I'm more sober than ever, I know who I love, I don't want to get it anymore, as long as he is doing well, I'm happy. I also want to make myself better, to thank God for giving me love in my heart. I hope you can understand that I see your beauty in my eyes and keep it in my heart, we just met too late, and as a result, I didn't make your Gina, and you couldn't be my Atong. ”

Ouyang Shu took a step back and slowly withdrew his hand from the car window.

He glanced up at the night sky, so deep, so mysterious, but he knew how vast the sky was, because he had experienced the day. Looking down at Yang Zishan, he smiled. He understood, just now he always felt that something was wrong, something was not dealt with, now he knows what it is, he didn't think about it, it turns out that Zishan has already figured it out, and he clearly said the decision.

He nodded, took a step back, waved his hand to Yang Zishan, and said, "It's dark, drive slowly." ”