7. A unit was conducting a field exercise, and a certain soldier accidentally missed the artillery, rushed over to take a look, and saw a farmer in ragged clothes with a black head and a black face standing in the vegetable field crying and saying: "I stole a cabbage, so I can't use artillery bombardment!"

8. How are you doing? I only have one friend of you! Guorong is gone, Putin is too busy, bin Laden can't be contacted, Lao Sa was killed by Bush, only Bill Gates called me a few times, but every time he borrowed money, alas!

9. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the leather shoes and I am the brush, you are the gourd and I am the melon, you are the steak and I am the fork, I prick! I please!

10. The water is flowing, the fish is swimming, you don't need a reason to love you, the wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I really want to hug you and kiss it, the sky is loved, the earth is love, and romance is not okay.

11. Could it be that Your Excellency is the national color and heavenly fragrance, the sinking fish and the wild goose, the talent is high and the eight buckets, and the people give the nickname to the heavens and the earth to be omnipotent, and the jade-faced little flying dragon Tang Bohu...... The Dog at Home: Wangcai?

12. People are so tired of living! Standing and thinking about sleeping, getting on the bus has to queue up, unrequited love is really sinful, eating has no fragrance, drinking is easy to get drunk, going to work is very tired, robbery is not enough, you have to pay taxes to earn money, and you have to charge for sending a text message to the piggy!

13. I'm lonely without you. I'm so disappointed that I can't see you. I want to say I love you, I'm not qualified. I miss you so much, it's a little too much! I saw you, and I touched ------ Hachijo fiercely. Hoo!

14. Congratulations on winning the jackpot, please bring your swords, shotguns and earthen cannons to the People's Bank of China at 10 o'clock this evening.

15. Tell you that men have the symptoms of an affair: the company works overtime every day, housework never touches, the mobile phone is turned off when you go home, the text message is deleted after reading, you snoring in bed, the underwear is often worn backwards, and the control check is in line with three are suspected, and four can be diagnosed!

16. If I am a horseman, you may call me a groom, if I am a driver, you can call me a coachman, and if I am a bookkeeper, what shall you call me?

17. Tea, to drink strongly, until bland and tasteless. Wine, to get drunk, never want to wake up. People want to love deeply, the kind that they want to love in the next life. Friend, to forever, hey, look at the text message of this person...... Not bad!

18. God said: The so-called happiness is to have a grateful heart, a healthy body, a satisfying job, a lover who loves you deeply, a group of trusted friends, when you receive this message, everything will follow!!

19. Dear mobile users, your phone bill is already insufficient, please smash the pot and sell iron to sell some blood, sell children and sell women to sell rice. Pay the phone bill, China Mobile will kowtow to you.

20. It is a kind of safety to have friends to walk with, it is a kind of strength to have friends to encourage, it is a kind of happiness to have friends to miss! I wish you happiness every second, every day, and every year.

21. The MM on the other side looks, looks, looks, the text messages I sent are wonderful, please don't pretend to ignore them;

22. Recruitment: I have a car, a house, a fixed monthly income, if you are interested, please contact as soon as possible - attached: room - university dormitory for six people, car - bicycle (absolute environmental protection), fixed income - 21 yuan per month school subsidy.

23. When the prison warden asked, the prisoner said that there was a bright moonlight in front of the bed, and he was panicked when he had no money, so he looked up at the bank and bowed his head into the shift room. Prison warden: Born for decades, with no money in his pocket, he robbed a small bank and closed it for several years.

24. You travel to Xishuangbanna, on the way to a group of wild boars besieged, the travelers all took out money and food, the wild boars were unmoved, you took out the only ID card, the group of pigs knelt on the ground and cried bitterly: Boss, we can find you.

25. The child in the delivery room laughed after birth, and the midwife nurses were very strange to gather around to observe, and found that the child was clenched with his fists, and after looking at it, he found that it was a contraceptive pill, and only heard the child say: Fuck, it's not so easy to kill me!

26. Do you know why we are destined in this life? In fact, we have known each other more than a thousand years ago, it was autumn, you ran with me in the wind, and the imprint of your teeth on me became a good story for the ages, and my name was Lu Dongbin at that time.

27. Your Excellency, isn't it the little novice adopted by the mentally handicapped master, the imbecile dog Wangcai, the cockroach Xiaoqiang, who walked alone in the world and was known as a pear flower pressing a begonia?

28. In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please use all your strength to hit your head against the wall. Do you see the countless stars in front of you are my infinite love!

29. You are the sun in my heart, but it's a pity that it's raining, you are the moon in my dreams, but it's a pity that it's covered by clouds, you're the most beautiful flower in my heart, it's a pity that it's bloomed, you're the Chang'e in the sky who came to the world, but it's a pity that your face touched the ground first......

30. The minister of family planning went to the countryside to conduct a census and asked the old peasants: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old peasants replied with a simple smile: "Hehe

31. What's going on? I dialed your mobile phone just now, and after the ringtone, the mobile phone prompted the voice and said: The other party is running naked, please wait to dial. I can't believe it! I dialed again and said: I'm sorry, the user you dialed has run out of the service area, please wait and dial again.

32. Are you lonely?If so, then you go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and go to the roof to swing the stick when the wind rises. Someone else wants to ask you, "What are you doing?" and you say, "I'm having a convulsion!"

33. The four ideals of men: Money is falling from the sky, and beautiful men are all dead. The beautiful woman's brain is rusty, crying and shouting for me to soak!

34. The four ideals of a woman: A man with a broken skull will send me money every day. I have to queue up for me to choose, and I will never get old!

35. My four ideals: I don't want too many bills, I can hold different beautiful women, run around the world, and I don't have to work and sleep!

36. You can reflect people's shortcomings better than a mirror, more erudite than Zhuangzi, and more strategic than your grandson, so everyone affectionately calls you: "Mirror Zhuang grandson".

37. Read out the following words and you will be offered a job with a monthly salary of 2000000, and the question is as follows: 簟璁醭歙艽绱癀穑魍旃偬彘硪Plutonium顥硐蓰.

28. The four birds brag: the sparrow says: "I am a drug addict among the eagles", the crow says: "I am the one who burns the boiler among the peacocks", the parrot says: "I am the one who sits on the stage among the swallows", and the roast duck says: "What are you, Lao Tzu is practicing ****** self-immolation!"

29. I'm about to say goodbye to you, seeing your face full of innocence, my heart is broken, why did I choose deeply, but I have to give up in a hurry, I want to keep you by my side forever, but the captain said: "The army is not allowed to raise pigs!"

30. I want to go to the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future, I want to go mountaineering with you, but I am full of confusion about my ideals, I want to wander with you, but I can't reach the paradise of happiness, I want to go shopping with you, but I get the police's refusal, he says: "No dog walking"!

31. "Like?" (Cold!yy SMS ......)

"Do you want it?"

"Then let's try it, can you go a little deeper?"

"Does it hurt?" a little tight, but ok.

"Comfortable, comfortable, then let's buy these shoes. “

32. That day, I saw you wandering around in a supermarket, you put your hand into the machine that can check the price, and the result showed: pig's trotters, 8 yuan, you thought there was a problem with the machine, and put your head in, I almost laughed to death when I saw it: pig's head, 18 yuan!