Ouyang Shu was quietly discharged from the hospital.

On the same day, he came to the cemetery.

The staff took him to a small stone stele, there were no photos on the stele, only the four big characters of Ouyang Nannan, and the small characters of the year and death of the row below. The tombstone is surrounded by white calla lilies and white chrysanthemums.

Ouyang Shu slowly squatted down, put a bunch of delicate yellow sunflowers in front of the stele, and gently stroked the words on the stele with his hand. His movements were so gentle, like caressing a light veil.

I only heard him whisper: "Son, when you go to heaven you will never get sick again, you will grow up slowly, and you will live happily and happily. ”

Thinking of the cute little life that was a few months old, it disappeared like this, Ouyang Shu's nose was sour, and tears slid down his cheeks.

In this life, he has experienced two life and death, once in the United States and once here. Every time it makes him unforgettable and painful.

Grief made it difficult for the sick body to support, and he shook a little and fell to the ground. The driver, Zhao Enhe, came over and wanted to hug him, he shook his hand and continued to caress the cold stone tablet, with an infinitely gentle expression, as if his daughter was in front of him.

"Child, I have thought a thousand times what you will be like when you grow up, you have to learn to do a lot of things, and Dad has to do a lot of things for you,...... I didn't expect you to leave us at such a young age, and your little heart doesn't know or appreciate how serious this is to your father!"

Zhao Enhe saw Ouyang Shu in tears, chattering, and the more he talked, the more painful it became, so he had to help him stand up: "Ouyang, the child is gone, you are still sick, come home with me." ”

Ouyang Shu was helped into the car by Zhao Enhe in a daze and returned to his home in Qingpu.

He slumped on the couch, weak.

"Don't go, come have a drink with me. The 'Military Horse Farm' is in the wine cellar. ”

"Good!"

Zhao Enhe went to the cellar to take out the 65-degree bulk liquor he poured from the military horse farm when he returned to Inner Mongolia last year, and poured them separately in a teacup.

The two men were silent and drank several glasses in quick succession.

"Enhe, do you remember what I wrote? I wrote it on the day of your sister's funeral, and it was placed on her grave. ”

"I can't remember. Zhao Enhe raised his head and drank another drink. There were too many things he didn't remember, he couldn't remember how many times he drank spirits with Ouyang Shu, he couldn't remember how many times he was bailed out of the police station by Ouyang Shu because of a fight, he couldn't remember how long his daughter-in-law had been away from him, and he couldn't even remember his son's voice.

Ouyang Shu's tongue was also a little bigger: "I remember, it was written in a hurry, imitating the allusions of the ancients," he tapped his fingers on the sofa table: "'Qin Xiaoyun breaks the south of the south cold, and the sound of the baoqin breaks the north cold'." Qin Xiao vs. Baoqin, Jiangnan vs. Saibei. Do you know why Qin Xiao was written? It is the daughter of Qin Shi Huang, who blows the flute to attract the phoenix, and the princess recruits a concubine, and finally becomes a marriage. But your sister doesn't marry me, she doesn't believe me!"

Zhao Enhe's alcohol consumption is larger than Ouyang Shu's, and he also likes to drink this kind of high-grade wine very much. He is not interested in the piano flute, and it is rare to have a good drink today, so he does not answer, only drinks.

Ouyang Shu had already drunk too much, his voice was hoarse, and his speech was incoherent: "Your sister Gina, who is Gina? Gina is my wife, she is my wife! I just want to remember her with the words of nostalgia for my wife, I just want to marry her as a wife, and no one can stop her." I don't care if she agrees or not, I want to marry her, what am I afraid of, I am not afraid of anything. What is AIDS, what is it? What's so scary? Isn't it just a disease, if there is a disease, we will treat it, what are you afraid of? But Gina, Gina, she was scared, as soon as she was scared, she jumped off. How could she be so patient! You say, you say, you say how could she leave me? She is the same as Nan Nan, they have all left me. Gina, Gina, she's so cruel!" At the end, he covered his eyes with his hands.

Zhao Enhe put his wine glass on the shelf, pointed at Ouyang Shu and shouted, "Nonsense! Gina is the kindest woman under the sun, it's you, it's you who hurt her, it's you who didn't protect her." You're not a man!"

Zhao Enhe's fingers almost stabbed Ouyang Shu's head.

Ouyang Shu brushed his fingers away and stared at Zhao Enhe fiercely: "Who are you talking about? Who did you say hurt her? I will protect her, I didn't harm her! I don't! You don't understand anything, you don't understand anything!"

Zhao Enhe's finger pointed at Ouyang Shu's head again: "It's you, it's you, you took Gina away, you killed Gina!

Ouyang Shu got up and pounced on Zhao Enhe, just like before. Zhao Enhe threw him to the ground, the same as before. Ouyang Shu struggled to stand up and hit Zhao Enhe's eyes with his fist, Zhao Enhe didn't dodge in a daze, but he also grabbed Ouyang Shu's arm and made another back fall.

After a few rounds, the glass shattered, the wine spilled, and the living room was in shambles.

You can't beat it, and you can't drink it. Ouyang Shu staggered to the bedroom, he needed the bed so much, because every time he got drunk, he would have the same dream, and in the dream there was his first love--- Zhao Jina.

The first time I met Gina was in the third grade of elementary school, and she came from Inner Mongolia to live at her grandmother's house. Black skin, big eyes, a loud voice, love and hate. In elementary school, she and Ouyang Shu often fought, leaving scars on each other's bodies.

In high school, they enter the same class. Gina has changed a lot, her skin is pink and transparent, her voice is clear and tactful, and she often blushes and is shy. So, in the spring, they fell in love.

The days of love go by very quickly, and they are going to go to college. The two discussed that they wanted to go to the same university, one was engaged in writing, the other was a translator, and they were a pair of fairy dependents.

The day before the college entrance examination, Gina was hit by a car. Seeing that Gina's head, arms, and legs were covered with bandages, oozing red, Ouyang Shu felt heartache for the first time, as if his heart was being pulled hard. After a month, except for a slight scar, the trauma was healed. I just didn't expect to be positive for HIV (HIV) in my blood during the retest.

Ouyang Junsheng was very angry when he learned that Ouyang Shu did not take the college entrance examination and rushed back from Hong Kong. Ouyang Shu took Gina to meet her parents, and Jin Huilan liked Gina very much and regarded her as her daughter-in-law.

Ouyang Shu told Ouyang Junsheng what happened to Gina, and at the same time stated that she would not marry in this life. Ouyang Junsheng couldn't resist his son, so he had to suggest that they go to the United States for treatment to prolong their survival as much as possible.

Zhao Jina went to the United States to receive antiviral treatment. A little more than a month later, when Gina learned that there was no cure for AIDS and that she would live up to 10 years, she broke down. She asked Ouyang Shu to leave, and Ouyang Shu bit his finger, hoping to be infected with HIV like her. Gina was forced to jump from the window of the hospital building, leaving only one sentence: "I live or I die, it's all just for you." ”

Ouyang Shu failed to go with Zhao Jina, and Ouyang Junsheng and Jin Huilan brought Gina's ashes back to China with him. After recuperating for nearly a month, Ouyang Shu gradually calmed down and sent Gina's ashes back to her parents' home in Inner Mongolia.

Gina's mom and dad cried as they held the urn.

Gina's younger brother Zhao Enhe said: "You hurt her, you didn't protect her, you are not a man!"

In the courtyard of his house, Zhao Enhe smashed Ouyang Shu to pieces, and he had no power to fight back. When he finally couldn't get up, Zhao Enhe carried him into the house.

Gina's mother threw a wet towel to wipe off the dirt on Ouyang Shu's face and wash the wounds.

Gina's father handed over a large glass of wine and motioned for him to drink it. It was the first time in his life that he had drunk such strong wine, and it burned all the way to his stomach when it entered his throat. In a trance, he even happily wondered if Gina's father had given him a cup of poisoned wine so that he could accompany Gina.

Since then, every year he will go to Inner Mongolia to see Gina's grave, and when he leaves, he will take a barrel of wine from the 'military horse farm'. Later, he brought Gina's younger brother Zhao Enhe and his family to Shanghai and trained Zhao Enhe to become a driver for the company.

Every time before and after waking up from a drunken dream, a voice always rang in Ouyang Shu's ears: "Whether I live or I die, it's just for you......"