Grandma died on March 1st, I didn't see the last of her old man, not to say remorse, there are always regrets, in the days on the eve of my grandmother's funeral, the only thing I can do is to keep vigil for her, on the night of January 8th, my family gave me a task to write a memorial for my grandma.

I have never written such a serious article, but there is no reason to refuse, so I sat by the fire with my uncle, second uncle and father, and they described the life and deeds of my grandmother, and I wrote with a young pen about the bumpy road that this centenarian born in the fifth year of the Republic of China has walked.

My grandmother married into my family at the age of 18, gave birth to two children and died one after another, and then picked up an infant baby, that is, my uncle, and then gave birth to four more children; on the eve of liberation, my grandmother's brother was arrested as a strong man, and my sister-in-law remarried, leaving behind a baby child; despite the difficult situation at home, my grandmother still adopted my brother's child; after liberation, my frail and sickly grandfather died, and the youngest at that time was my father, who was only one year old and could not walk.

After the grandfather was buried, the grandmother raised six children who were not yet adults alone, and supported the broken family alone, but I don't know how hard those days were, and I can't empathize, I can only know a little from the words of the uncle, the second uncle and the father, and the sacrificial text is extremely difficult to write, for fear of making mistakes, and it was repeatedly revised and improved until the early hours of the night.

On the evening of March 9th, it was the sacrificial ceremony, the next day my grandmother was buried, despite the heavy rain, but the road was full of villagers who could not see the end, sixteen people carried the coffin, moving slowly in the heavy rain, at the top of the coffin stood an old man riding a white crane, swaying in the wind and rain, every time the pole was changed, including my family, including me, knelt in the rain to kowtow to my grandmother, the suona sounded sadly on the mountain path, as soon as the suona stopped, the drum and cymbals rang out, echoing for a long time in the stretching mountains.

When the grandmother was buried, the rain stopped, the grave had already been dug, Dingxian grabbed the rooster and slaughtered it and threw it into the grave, put a firecracker, the father jumped into the grave and kowtowed to burn paper money, shouted three times in a row Mother rest in peace, and then came up to put the coffin down. I was kneeling in the muddy rain, banging my head on the ground, smelling the smell of the earth, the smell of another world, and the smell of astringency and fishiness.

After returning home, I was finally able to rest, slept for seventeen or eighteen hours, and after waking up, I didn't feel too much sadness or missing, I always felt that I went with the flow, changed my clothes and got up and opened the window, after the rain, the sun had risen as usual, and my mood gradually became clearer, and I seemed to have a new understanding, for myself, in life, and in the world, but I couldn't express it.

On the 13th, I booked a high-speed rail ticket back to Changsha and started my original life, perhaps it shouldn't be called the original, at least from the perspective of the heart, I am an idealistic perfectionist, I have too high requirements for myself, for life, and for novels, and I am ashamed that my ability is not enough, and I often can't reach what I imagined, and I can't meet the requirements of readers, which is the so-called gap, called your ability is not worthy of your ambition.

This is the root of human suffering.

So I'm going to write novels well on a down-to-earth basis, not thinking so much, making myself happy and making my readers happy.

Resume the update today.

Thank you readers for putting up with me for so long.

Thank you readers for your tips and recommendations.

Thank you.