"I used to be afraid of ghosts, with thick black hair, pale cheeks, and blood-red eyes, as if I was going to rush up and kiss you at any time. I've been scared for a lifetime, but unfortunately I didn't see the ghost, and I eventually became a ghost, hehe. ”

Lu Cheng was dressed in a black suit and stood in front of the coffin blankly. In front of the coffin is a portrait of a young man. He silently walked to the coffin and gently stroked the coffin with his hand: "That's right, I'm attending the funeral, my own funeral." ”

He turned his head to look at the two handsome men with long legs wearing black and white suits on the side of the wall: "To be honest, if I hadn't died, otherwise I would never believe that the two of them would be black and white." They seemed to be in a good mood today, so they agreed to wait until I was done with their funeral before taking me away. ”

Lu Tang walked to the statue and nodded and praised: "You are the most handsome boy I have ever seen in this era, alas, where should I find it in the future!"

"Mom, this brother is so ugly, like a. A little girl from the naïve period called out as she pointed to the statue of Lu Tang.

Lu Cheng grinned and looked at the little girl and complained: "Where did the bear child come from, can he speak, and he has a good taste?"

The girl's mother hurriedly squatted down to educate the little girl: "Xinxin, how did your mother teach you, how can you say this to others." ”

Lu Tang was a little satisfied: "Hmph, look, your mother doesn't think so." Sure enough, I'm still a little kid who doesn't know anything, and sometimes I really feel like I'm handsome. ”

The girl's mother: "Didn't Mom say it, not everywhere can tell the truth, have you forgotten?" Lu Cheng almost vomited blood when he heard this, and pointed to the girl's mother and walked over, and suddenly there was a sound of wooden fish beating behind him.

"Knock knock!" The sound of wooden fish beating filled the entire hall, and a host wearing glasses, shiny hair, and a ring scar on his head, but wearing a priest's uniform, with a cross, came to the coffin, and below was row after row of black-clad backs, they sat silently, waiting for the funeral to begin.

Lu Tang looked at this "master" and opened his eyes wide: "What is this!"

Bai Wuchang smiled and pointed at the monk: "Eh, old black, do you think this person is a monk or a priest?"

Black Impermanence: "I think it must be a shaman!"

Bai Wuchang: "Shall we take a gamble?"

Black Impermanence: "Okay, what are you betting on him?"

Bai Wuchang: "I bet he must be a druid!"

The host picked up the microphone: "Hello everyone, I'm the host today." Amitabha, (throat clearing) Today is Lu Juhua, ah no, it's Mr. Lu Tang's funeral. Do you have any relatives of Mr. Lu Tangerine here?"

There was silence below, and no one raised their hands.

The moderator continued: "Okay, let's skip the warm tear-jerking part of the loved one's speech. ”

Lu Tang: "Can this be skipped?" He glanced at the people attending the funeral, and there was indeed no one he was familiar with, just some neighbors who were close to each other.

Host: "As a young screenwriter who has just turned 25 years old, his life is short, but wonderful!"

Little girl: "Mom, what's a screenwriter?"

Lu Cheng looked at the little girl helplessly, I really wanted to tell her: "Screenwriters are not things! Forget it, let your mother explain it to you." ”

The girl's mother: "I don't know, I think it's a snack." ”

Girl's father: "Definitely not, I think it's a kind of priesthood." ”

Lu Tang clutched his chest: "God, your sister." ”

Uncle Wang: "What nonsense! Screenwriting is a profession. ”

Lu Tang finally felt a little relieved: "Lao Wang next door, you still know me best." ”

Uncle Wang: "Screenwriter, it's almost the same as weaving flower baskets, except that he weaves saws!" The people sitting below nodded in agreement, looking at Uncle Wang with admiration, and at this time Lu Tang stood aside and kept vomiting blood.

Lu Tang reluctantly leaned against the wall and came to the side of Black and White Impermanence, his mouth full of blood: "Two big brothers, please take me away quickly, I really can't stand this funeral, I really don't want to die again!"

Black and white impermanence glanced at each other, smiled, and helped Lu Tang out of the auditorium.

The host continued to tap the wooden fish: "Ahem!um!OK!(continue to clear his throat) Now, let's mourn together for this guy who died young, and wish him a new life in a new world." Amen!"

When he was 25 years old, a sudden "illness" took Lu Tangerine away. Originally, it was a long and touching funeral, but isn't life nonsensical? Soon Black and White Impermanence drove him to the underworld - Hell.

Interestingly, the world of the underworld is even more prosperous than the human world. High-rise buildings are lined up and brightly lit. With the cars coming and going, and the crowd of people (well, ghosts) shuttling endlessly, Lu Cheng stared out the window in the back seat, surprised, like a newborn baby.

Black Impermanence: "Hmph, young man, it's good to get used to it, the expression of the soul when you first came here is the same as you." ”

Lu Tang: "I always thought that the underworld was full of ghosts, skeletons and undead and the like, why do they and you look exactly like people in the human world." ”

Bai Wuchang: "That's just what you imagined to scare yourself when you were alive, I don't believe you look at yourself." Bai Wuchang threw a phablet to Lu Tang, Lu Tang took a photo, and found that he was still like that. What about the skeletons, the scary looks, the scarry, the handsome.

Lu Tang hurriedly returned the phone after taking the photo: "Thank you.... White.... "Sir" Lu Cheng looked at the two handsome guys in black and white suits in the front seat embarrassedly.

Bai Wuchang: "Just call me Lao Bai." He's an old black, I said, young man, why didn't you see your relatives for the funeral just now?"

Lu Tang stared out the window blankly and said coldly: "I have no relatives. ”

Black and white impermanence said in unison: "Ah!"

Lu Tang: "I've been a person since I was born, I don't remember how I grew up, and I don't remember any relatives I have. ”

Black and white impermanence glanced at each other awkwardly, and black impermanence: "Ahem! We are from the Soul Political Bureau of the Underworld, and you can leave after taking you through the formalities in a while." ”

Lu Tang was a little frightened: "Let's go!?Where are you going?Are you going to be reincarnated?"

Black impermanence: "It is your freedom to reincarnate or not, and we will get you an ID card to facilitate your life here." To be honest, since the development of the underworld has been getting better and better, there is no soul that wants to be reincarnated. There's nothing wrong with living here, you see over there, the people who live on the Second Ring Street are all from the Tang Dynasty, and they are still there. The third ring is the Song Dynasty, and beyond is the Ming Dynasty. ”

Lu Tang: "Won't they fight?"

Bai Wuchang: "What do you think, you are all old bones, living here comfortably, how can you still be in the mood to fight and kill." Besides, I've only heard of killing people, not killing ghosts. Boy, what did you do when you died? Look at you're good-looking, you're in good shape. ”

Lu Tang: "Didn't you just accompany me to my funeral? You didn't listen to so many people talking about me at the funeral?"

Black impermanence: "Picking up so many people every day, I have to listen to you every time and let us not live." No, we just wandered away. However, if you have any problems in the future, come to us, we like you. ”

Lu Tang couldn't help laughing: "If the people above knew that black and white impermanence was so humane, wouldn't they have to laugh to death! I'm a screenwriter." ”

Black and white impermanence asks at the same time: "What is a screenwriter?"

Lu Tang lowered his head helplessly, smiled, and shook his head.

The car drove fast, heading towards the most prosperous city center, farther and farther.

Coming out of the Soul Political Bureau, Lu Tang was at a loss with the ID card he had just issued, and he still walked on the streets intuitively, exploring the city curiously.

I don't know how long I walked, and I don't know how many rings this is, Lu Tang has been far away from the center of hell, although it is not as bustling and lively as the city center, but the clean road, each with its own characteristics of small shops on both sides.

Lu Tang stood on the excuse and smiled helplessly. In front of his eyes, there are "Hesitation Library", "Unscrupulous Prints", "Wheat Arch", "Lack of Deji", "Alien Ghost Internet Café", "Bar", "Real Estate Agency", "Xiaowei Drink", "Gray Chen", "IMAX Cinema", "Museum" and everything.

Lu Tang: "This is different from the human world!

"Smack!" Lu Tang gave himself a slap, and the sharp pain made him immediately cover his face.

Lu Tang: "Ah, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Why should I beat myself, am I sick?" Eh, why am I hurting? Am I not dead, is it just a dream, maybe I was hypnotized, or was it a stolen dream?"

Lu Tang walked while thinking, and unconsciously walked to a bridge and stopped. The bridge was covered with a thick fog, and it was impossible to see the opposite bank. The farther away from the city center, the fewer lights there are, and the darker and quieter environment here is conducive to Lu Tang's thinking. Now convinced that he was hypnotized, he began to analyze the movies he had watched, reminiscing about the scenes in the movies, and trying to find a way to wake up.

At this moment, a cry suddenly came.

The whimpering sound of "woo woo" in the grass behind Lu Tang was terrifying, and Lu Tang, who had always been afraid of ghosts, immediately stopped thinking and looked at the grass carefully.

Lu Tang: "What should I do, curiosity kills the cat." If I had passed now, something would have suddenly appeared! ”

Lu Tang turned around and walked cautiously, planning to be here.

After walking a few steps, there was a loud noise in the grass, and something rushed towards him! Lu Tang's nervous body was extremely stiff, and he just stared blankly.

"I'm not alive anymore! it hurts to fall out of love, it hurts!" Suddenly, a woman in a white dress, a disheveled hairdress, and a thin white face rushed out, and she ran towards Lu Tang with red eyes.

Lu Tang was frightened and cried on the spot, and he cried and shouted: "Ghost... Ghost... Mom!"

The woman was getting closer and closer, and Lu Tang closed her eyes in fear, but the women passed past her, crying and shouting behind her.

Lu Tang looked at the woman's back in wonder: "What's the situation?" The woman ran straight to a shop with exquisite decoration and ancient charm. A burst of aroma slowly wafted from the store, Lu Tang closed his eyes and took a deep breath, swallowed a few times involuntarily, and walked over slowly.

It is a detached house with two floors, and judging by the decoration from the outside, it follows the ancient route. On the black plaque, the large golden characters are particularly prominent.

Lu Tang: "Hell hot pot restaurant? This name is interesting! At least you can't see it in the world, so it's good to go in and eat." ”

Walking into the hot pot restaurant, the interior is clean and tidy, different from modern hot pot restaurants, there is no greasy smell wafting in the "Hell Hot Pot Restaurant", the wooden table is neatly placed, and there is no hole in the table, there is no gas tank below, and there is no induction cooker on the top. The whole building is made of wood, and there are no modern appliances to be seen. There seems to be a lot of room on the second floor for people, and there is a backyard to the right when you enter from the gate, and as for what it looks like inside, it is blocked by a thick curtain cloth.

"Welcome!" came a sweet voice. Lu Tang looked over when he heard the sound, and saw a stunning woman wearing a white plain dress, wearing a green coat of tulle, embroidered white shoes, holding a round fan, and a delicate appearance.

"This guest officer, do you want to drink soup?"

Lu Tang looked at her a little distracted, and couldn't help it: "My sister, this goblin is really beautiful." ”

"Smack!" A hand quickly gave Lu Tang the back of his head, Lu Tang held his headache and howled, and then turned his head to look. A tall, short-haired fat man with a somewhat fat body raised his hand and looked at him.

"Where did you come from, stinky boy, you dare to say that our boss lady is a goblin! Look at how I, Li Yuankui, cleaned you up today!" After speaking, the fat man was ready to call him again.

"Stop, Yuankui, people are guests, how can you treat people like this. I'm sorry, I'm the proprietress here, my name is Meng Xiaotian. Please come and sit here. Meng Xiaotian said as she walked into the store with Lu Tang and sat down.

"That's it!" A woman dressed in a light blue cheongsam with long hair and a shawl walked over: "This little handsome guy, I'm really embarrassed, Brother Yuankui has a poisonous brain, don't worry about him." I'm the accountant here, and my name is Mink Yuyu. Mink Yu's greedy voice was full of delicateness, her eyes were very provocative, she seemed to have taken a fancy to this white-faced little student, she sat next to Lu Tang as she spoke, and clinged closely, making Lu Tang very nervous and uncomfortable.

"The immortal master once said that men and women can't kiss, not to mention that it's so hot in the hot pot restaurant, why don't you sit down a little. A young man dressed in Taoist cultivation clothes and with a scholarly spirit walked over, cautiously trying to pull away Mink Yu's greed.

Mink Yu said viciously: "Get out of here! I'll cut you!"

The man hid across the table in fear, and said nervously and dissatisfiedly, "You... You go away a little... You.... So not.... Not good. ”

Mink Yu looked like a shrew: "I, Lu Zijing, the old lady can sit wherever she likes, can you manage it?" After speaking, Mink Yu looked at Lu Tang gently, and said delicately: "Sir, it's okay for me to sit here, right?" Mink Yu gluttonously leaned his head directly on Lu Tang's shoulder.

Lu Tang: "No.... Not.... Never mind.... Right?" Lu Cheng looked at Lu Zijing helplessly, and then looked at Li Yuankui. "Excuse me... You're... It's regular... Can I borrow a phone? I think.... Call the police?"

Meng Xiaotian grabbed Mink Yu's greedy ears, lifted her away, and said with a smile: "That's right, our hot pot here is the most famous in the whole prefecture, guest officer, please wait a while, we will serve you the pot later." Meng Xiaotian smiled, and this smile relieved Lu Tang's nervousness: "Why are you still stunned, go back to work." ”

Everyone dispersed, and Mink Yu looked at Lu Tang reluctantly, and Lu Tang shivered one after another. The way she looked at him was like Lu Zijing's eyes looking at Mink Yu's gluttony.

Mink Yu looked at Lu Zijing impatiently: "Look at it! Look at it! Go back and sweep the floor." ”

Lu Zijing: "It's so fierce to be a ghost, see that no one wants you!"

Mink Yu was greedy: "Looking for death!" After speaking, he picked up the bench and ran after Lu Zijing, Zijing called for help while running and fled to the backyard.

Lu Tang exhaled: "After eating, I have to leave here quickly!

Meng Xiaotian walked a few steps, looked back at Lu Tang, and showed a malicious smile on her lips.