Chapter 350 If a person is like a rainbow, he knows it when he meets it

Zhang Chunru, whose parents were the first batch of immigrants to Chinese, in the forties of the twentieth century, both parents were intellectuals, and after immigrating to the United States, he taught at the University of Illinois. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ

Since childhood, Zhang Chunru has shown a special talent in writing, loves to read, loves writing and has an independent personality, not that ordinary writers want to use writing to vent or satisfy their own sense of achievement.

Zhang Chunru likes serious and realistic historical themes, and hopes to convey thoughts about life, humanity, conscience, good and evil through real historical events.

At the same time, she is also a genius, not only in the field of literature and art, but also in the field of science and technology, in the second year of college to get a doctorate in computer science, and then transferred to the Department of Journalism, because attracted by the profession of the uncrowned king of journalists at that time, I want to know more about the reality of the world.

It was also during this time as an intern reporter that Zhang Chunru honed her tenacious character and strong sense of responsibility, and chose a path to despair and thorns as a weak woman.

Zhang Chunru, who has lived in the United States since childhood, does not speak Chinese badly, because his parents have educated him in Chinese culture since he was a child, and when she wrote the first book, she wanted to pay tribute to Mr. Qian Xuesen, who had gone through a lot of hardships before and had to return to the motherland to participate in the construction.

Zhang Chunru hopes that she can become a person like Mr. Qian Xuesen, although she does not have so much talent, but she also hopes to do her best for the motherland.

Zhang Chunru set foot in the motherland for the first time and wanted to write a biography for Mr. Qian Xuesen, but he was not interviewed for special reasons, so he went to Hangzhou to learn about Mr. Qian Xuesen's past, and finally published "Silk - The Father of Longguo Missiles"

The title of the book implies that the spring silkworm will die to the end.

This is a Chinese woman with infinite talent and a sense of responsibility.

For the Chinese people, the Jinling Massacre is a well-known thing for the Chinese descendants who have gone to school, but for the descendants of overseas Chinese, because of some official factors, the Jinling Massacre is little known overseas, and it seems that there is no record of this incident in other countries outside of Asia.

Although Zhang Chunru heard about the invasion of China during World War II from his parents since he was a child, he had a vague understanding of the Jinling incident.

In 1994, when she saw some pictures of the Jinling Massacre at a chance exhibition, Zhang Chunru felt that her outlook on life had become distorted.

Especially when he heard that this tragic massacre was still denied by Dongying and did not become a conviction, Zhang Chunru felt as if his soul had been emptied.

She realized that there were bad people, even more hateful than the Nazis.

When it is even more hateful, there are still many people in the world, even 70 percent, who do not know how many unspeakable crimes these bad people have committed, because these people do not know, so these criminals openly deny it.

Zhang Chunru put down all her work and started her long journey of research, she is just an ordinary person, but fortunately, she still has a pen, a pair of legs, a mouth, and a pair of eyes, to be able to listen, to see, to write, to expose the ugly faces of those sinners.

So since 1994, Zhang Chunru began to collect all the information about the Jinling incident, at the age of 27, she went to Jinling in person, stayed in a completely unadapted climate for 25 days, these 25 days, she visited various memorial halls to commemorate the victims during the day, collected materials with local institutions, interviewed veterans, visited the survivors of the incident at that time, and after each interview with the survivors, she would leave 100 yuan.

This money is not too much, it is not too much, there are so many people in the Dragon Kingdom, how many people can think of the victims of this incident? and even many people only regard it as a history.

But they ignore that the people who have lived through this history are still alive in this world.

The people who experienced history have not passed away, and in the hearts of most Chinese people, this history seems to have long since become devoid of any warm papers and stories.

This heart is worthy of gold and silver.

In the 25 days in Jinling, Zhang Chunru worked an average of more than ten hours, Zhang Chunru's oral level was okay, but the reading level was still a little insufficient, there were many sentences that he did not understand, so he could only consult the accompanying translator.

Most of the survivors spoke in dialects and couldn't understand them at all, so Zhang Chunru recorded them, and then went back to listen to them over and over again, checking them over and over again.

The translator of the colleague decided at that time that Zhang Chunru was a little nervous with paranoia.

yes, she was supposed to be nervous at the time.

She is a person, a girl, only twenty-seven years old, since she began to contact this matter, what kind of words, pictures, and videos she has been dealing with every day, ordinary people can't imagine.

Divide shi, wheel jian, abuse sha, even type out to be harmonious need pinyin to replace the vocabulary.

These words are not bloody, but they are more bloody than bloody.

These words belong to despair, but they must be more desperate than despair.

When the human eye sees that other people's fingers will be cut, they will reflexively feel pain subconsciously, which is a kind of substitutional mental conditioning.

At the same time, there will also be a mental illness, after witnessing a large number of cruel and destructive scenes, the degree of damage exceeds the psychological and emotional tolerance limit of some of the population, which indirectly leads to various psychological abnormalities. These anomalies, usually out of sympathy and empathy for the survivors and their trauma, cause themselves to suffer severe physical and mental distress and even mental breakdowns.

This is called vicarious trauma.

To put it simply, it is the despair that has been heard, seen, and understood too much, so that the person who originally wanted to stand on the sidelines has become the one who is experiencing despair.

Zhang Chunru became one of the 'victims' of the Jinling Massacre.

No one knows what kind of hell Zhang Chunru experienced during his 25 days in Jinling.

What's even more terrifying is that she wants to repeat these despairs over and over again, get involved in the blood at the moment she writes every word, and finally write a book that she does not dare to vent her subjective emotions and completely objectively states the facts she has seen and felt, a 'victim's testimony'.

This kind of repression is even more terrifying.

Some history is not a story that can be described in words, it is a process, there are reasons, there are countless undead and unjust souls, and the corpses and blood soaked and blackened the Yangtze River, and there are only a few strokes that are recorded in textbooks.

But as a Chinese person, even from these few strokes, you can also see the urge to burst into tears, because it is a pain buried deep in the blood.

But behind this history, there is something hidden, perhaps something more important.

Of course, hatred needs to be remembered, but after the hatred has passed, people must continue to move forward, and the sinners will be punished, which is the end as it should be.

It's a pity that there are some sinners who like to deceive themselves.

Zhang Chunru hopes that more people will know about their crimes, so that they will have nothing to hide under the sun and pay the punishment they deserve.

Zhang Chunru also has one of the most important ideas in this book, which is to reflect on what war brings in addition to blood and killing.

Among the information collected by Zhang Chunru, there were some war criminals in Dongying at that time, and Tada Jun, the chief of staff of Dongying at the time, did not want to attack Jinling at all, but if he did not attack, there would be no food, and people would die, and how many soldiers were willing to participate in the war at that time?

The other is, but the Jinling garrison has 150,000 people, and the conservative estimate is 500,000 people, while the Dongying army is only 50,000.

Even the garrison was not equipped with enough equipment, but the Dongying army almost bloodlessly entered Jinling City, and Tang Shengzhi, the defender of the city at that time, had already retreated.

What does war bring?

Zhang Chunru finished writing this book, which caused a huge storm after it was released by the United States imperialists, and the book became one of the top ten bestsellers of the United States imperialism that year, and everyone began to pay attention to this terrible incident that was worse than the Nazi concentration camp.

In order to better publicize, Zhang Chunru began to conduct a national tour of book signings, and in the process of speaking, she had a miscarriage and lost the first child she had not yet met.

The hormonal disorder caused by miscarriage is one of the most likely causes of rational bipolar disorder.

When Zhang Chunru was collecting information, he accidentally found a German businessman in the Jinling Massacre, and at that time, in the spirit of humanitarianism, more than 20 foreign friends at that time in Jinling built an international protected area, sheltering tens of thousands of Longguo people.

His name was John Rabe, and he was known as Schindler of China.

Zhang Chunru found his descendants and persuaded his descendants John Rabe's diary to be made public, which became the most important and complete historical material in the history of the Jinling Massacre.

Wang Yao closed the diary and the book "Jinling Massacre" that Zhang Chunru gave him when he left, and was alone for a long time.

Finally, he exhaled a breath of turbidity, put the brush in the inkstone that was about to dry up, and was silent again, and tried to lift the pen twice, as if the pen in his hand was heavy.

Finally, write two large characters and a line of small characters on the rice paper.

'Disgrace'

'The aggressor and the invaded, who are disgraced. ’

......................

There is no doubt that war is a shame, that it is a shame that it is a war that is initiated, that it is also a shame that it is a war that is created, that those who are violated are not ashamed, that weakness is not an original sin, that it is an innocence distorted by deformed facts.

If Wang Yao did not appear, then Zhang Chunru took a break after his lecture signing tour in 2001 to continue sorting out the historical materials of Jinling, while preparing a third book, An Inquiry into the Status of the Chinese Overseas.

During this time, she welcomed her first child in August 2002.

But during this seemingly peaceful period, because of the book "The Jinling Massacre", she and her family were frantically attacked by right-wingers in Dongying, and at the same time may have been under surveillance, causing great distress to her and her family.

Zhang Chunru was able to resist the torture and despair she endured alone, but the ordeal brought to her family, especially her newborn child, became the last straw that crushed her will.

Especially when the child was almost two years old, her husband discovered the child's abnormality and took him to the doctor After being diagnosed with autism, Zhang Chunru's last light in his life may have gone out.

Human genes are inherited, good or bad.

Because the price paid for revealing this history was Zhang Chunru's own physiological bipolar disorder, which was then passed on to her children, which was unacceptable to a mother.

She didn't bring him the same carefree life as the other children, because she exposed some of the crimes and was countered by the criminals who would set their sights on her children for countless years after he grew up.

Even a strong-willed woman cannot accept this fact as a mother.

Finally, on November 9, 2004, when I went to interview a World War II soldier, the process was rejected, and perhaps there may be something else, so that Zhang Chunru, who was already on the verge of collapse, finally lost her desire for life.

She drove a car alone, chose to be on the side of a quiet highway, pulled out a pistol, drank bullets and killed herself, ending her life.

For the souls of 300,000 compatriots, the woman who complained to the world with her small self, dedicated her life to justice, the motherland, and civilization.

In the biography that her husband later wrote for her, he described many times that because Zhang Chunru had compiled a lot of terrifying information, she often burst into tears and trembled, suffered from insomnia, had nightmares, lost weight, and lost her hair.

She was faced with an encyclopedia of slaughter ten thousand times worse than the ten tortures of the Manchu Qing Dynasty, and she endured the ordeal of 300,000 unjust souls.

In her last book, "The Chinese in the United States," about the marginalization and exclusion of Chinese Americans abroad, she wrote:

If you look at the appearance of every Chinese American who has made a name for themselves in the United States and inherited the Chinese tradition, you will find that no matter how outstanding their achievements are, no matter how much they have contributed to American society, in fact, the identity of all of them has been questioned in various ways. ’

This subjective description can feel Zhang Chunru's most real emotions at that time, as if he was treated unfairly at that time.

And then it was in her last words.

I promised that I would get up in the morning and walk out of the house. I'm going to take a long walk and visit my parents along the way. I will take my medication as prescribed by my doctor. I promise not to hurt myself. I promise not to visit sites that discuss suicide. ’

When you believe that you have the future, your assumptions are based on generations or years. When you don't believe you have the future, your assumptions are not based on days – but on minutes. You'd better remember who I used to be -- the one who flourished as a best-selling author -- and not the one who came back from Louisville and lost my soul...... Every breath I took became difficult – the anxiety was like drowning in the open ocean. I know that my actions will pass on some of this pain to others, those who love me the most. Please forgive me. ’

'There are some things about my experience in the city of Louisville that I will never be able to comprehend. Actually, I suspect that maybe you know more about this than I do. I couldn't shake my belief that I was being hired and persecuted by some more powerful force than I could have imagined. Maybe this force is some force, maybe it's some other organization, I never know. As long as I live, these forces will never stop hunting me. ’

A few days before I left for Louisville, I had a deep sense of unhappiness about my safety. I felt all sorts of sudden threats to my life: a terrifying feeling, like being followed on the street, the white van parked in front of my house, and the damaged mail in my mailbox. I believe I was detained at Norton Hospital because some people wanted to discredit me. ’

Strong depression and suicidal tendencies, as well as sensitive persecution emotions torment her all the time, maybe many normal people can't understand the feeling of depression, so let me make an analogy.

When you are a junior high school or elementary school student, one day you forgot to write your homework because of playfulness, deceived your parents, and when you have to go to school the next day, you have to hand in your homework, and if you don't hand it in, you will be told by the teacher, and the parents will punish you if they know it.

All the apprehension and anxiety and fear that you experience during this time, multiplied by countless times, is the pain that a depressed person has to endure every minute.

Make a bold guess that her suicide may be to protect the truths she wrote and the facts she revealed.

Because under this intense stress and depression, she is likely to become a psychopath, once she is confirmed to be mentally ill.

Then the right wing of Dongying war criminals will erase or even overturn all the facts she has exposed.

She had to die.

For justice, for the 300,000 resentful spirits, for the sunshine.

Die generously.

........

Later, when a writer was writing about related topics, he specially wrote Zhang Chunru's story as a preface.

Almost instantly, she attracted the attention of a legion of denial activists who defended Japan. Not only was she attacked online, but even prominent Western scholars began publishing academic articles expressing skepticism about her writings and motives.

Some claim that she exaggerated the death toll, while others point out that the details of her account are either unverifiable or to the left of other evidence, and have tried to insult her as a result. Incredibly, there are so many people who seem to think that trying to remember an atrocity is more shameful than the atrocity itself.

These vicious attackers of Zhang Chunru wear the civilized mask of academic discussion, and they do not shout wildly or add to the evil, they refuse to acknowledge the authenticity and importance of "The Jinling Massacre: The Forgotten Massacre."

They dissected Zhang Chunru with cautious and careful words, and finally smashed her and her writings, as well as the truth in the book. ’

Liu Yukun - Preface to "When the Light of the Past Falls".

...........

If a person is a rainbow, he knows it when he meets it.

PS: If you think that the Jinling Massacre is just a piece of past history, and it doesn't seem to have much to do with you.

So, what does it have to do with Zhang Chunru? She is a girl who grew up abroad, has no worries about food and clothing, is talented, intelligent, and has both talent and appearance.

What does it matter?

Finally, this book is not recommended to read, the heart can't stand it, especially at an age when values have not yet been fully established.

War is never something that can be explained in two words, crime is not something that is denied if it is denied, and morality does not exist without saying it.

My wish, world peace.