"Half a year later, she finally accepted me. I was with her. It was my happiest, carefree days. But soon she graduated, and the job found the distance from other places and places, and I would often go to her at first, but then my studies became more and more intense, and I also opened a coffee shop with my classmates, so I didn't have time to go to her again, and my life with her became more and more divergent, and slowly this relationship faded down. ”

"Finally one day, I got tired and proposed to break up. I always thought she didn't care about the relationship, but when we broke up, she cried very sadly and couldn't understand what she was wrong. At that time, I only felt that such a relationship was like chicken ribs, and I couldn't continue to be tortured by distance, so I insisted on breaking up. Dr. Xia took another drink.

"After the breakup, I had a relaxed life for a while. But within a few months, I found out that I had already been unconsciously getting along with her and fell in love with her. It wasn't until there were no phone calls or text messages from her that I knew that although she was silent in my heart, she had already taken root. After enduring it for a year, I still couldn't forget her, I called her again, she was silent on the phone for a long time, and asked me, why didn't you look for her earlier, she just got married. "When Dr. Xia said this, he couldn't go on.

I couldn't help but ask, "Why did she get married so quickly?"

"yes. I'm also wondering. But at the beginning, I didn't have the patience to ask why. Instead, he went on a trip to the Middle East with his classmates. It wasn't until I was in the desert and my life was almost hanging up that I reflected on myself for the first time, why I lost contact with everyone, because I didn't communicate well with everyone, and I have always lacked patience with the people around me. Dr. Xia's tone was one of deep guilt.

"When my life was in danger, I realized that between me and her, I had never had the patience to understand her family, her character, why she suddenly got married, I didn't even explore. In my heart, there is only myself, I like it, I am tired, and I love it. ”

"After coming back from the Middle East, I called her and chatted seriously for a long time, her father died early, so she was very timid, very afraid of losing, when she fell in love with me, she didn't care on the surface, but in fact she suffered from gains and losses, and when she saw me talking to other girls, chatting, she would hide and cry secretly, but I was careless, and I never found her sad. She went to work in other places, just because her mother was not in good health, so she could be closer to home and take care of the family. I complained all day long about being tired in other places, but I didn't know that she was even more tired than me. Dr. Xia said sadly.

"Then she got married soon because her mother was not in good health?" I vaguely felt that this girl would not have a happy outcome.

"Yes. At that time, her mother was seriously ill and hospitalized, lacked money for treatment, and there was no one to take care of her, and I broke up with her again, and she really had no choice, so she married a colleague who had been pursuing her. ”

"It would be nice if it ended here. But I always do something inappropriate, listening to what happened to her, heartache and regret made me lose my mind, I told her that as long as she is willing to divorce, I don't mind her past. Again, with tears in her eyes, she asked me why I hadn't told me earlier that she had just found out she was pregnant. She can't get a divorce and can't let her children repeat her mistakes. ”

"The most chaotic thing in my life is that I insisted on seeing her again. She asked me if I was still necessary, and I said yes. I don't want to see it once. Where the did I get so unwilling?" Dr. Xia slammed his fist on the table.

"Did we finally meet?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"In order to avoid her acquaintances, we made an appointment to meet in the capital of her province, and she took a bus to the provincial capital, and I flew there from Beijing. But she was on her way to the provincial capital, and the bus—" Dr. Xia didn't continue, his slightly choked voice had already told me the end. I just felt a cold all over my body.

Dr. Xia drank cup by glass, and I looked at him, not knowing how to comfort him.

After a long time, his mood calmed down a little: "Since then, I have begun to be curious about human psychology, curious about what is the heart of various people under the seemingly calm surface? ”

"Year by year, academics are getting better and better, but I don't feel like I'm alive, I look glamorous on the outside and rotten on the inside. I longed to know what others were thinking, but I was afraid that I would make a mistake in my own judgment. Every time I treat a patient without effect, my pressure is tens or hundreds of times greater than that of the patient. I'm afraid that my misdiagnosis will hurt others. Because I really don't have confidence in understanding the psychology of others, even though I have achieved so many professional recognitions. ”

Dr. Xia turned to look at me: "It's a chance to meet you. At first, I didn't see that you were divorced. ”

I laughed to myself: "Can you still see the divorce?"

"Yes, divorced people, some complain, some angry, psychological peace is always unpeaceful. I didn't feel that way when I got along with you before, and you asked me very calmly and quietly how to treat the child gradually. Dr. Xia lowered his head and turned the cup, "Later, you told me in person that you divorced Nuan Nuan's father, and I knew that I was really impressed by you at that time, but I didn't expect to see the shadow of these things in you at all." ”

"Later, I learned that you partnered with someone else to start a company, and I admired it even more, I have seen a lot of successful people, but they didn't bring me such a big shock. You are not the kind of woman who is very strong, nor is you a person with a strong desire to succeed, you have come to that point, you are forced by life, but you have not been pressed, but you have walked better. I can always see the positive and sunny side when I look at problems, and I feel that I am rotten inside, and I finally see the sunshine. In those days, I cured Nuan Nuan, but you healed me. Dr. Xia looked at me with a deep gaze. I lowered my head and was a little surprised, I didn't know where Dr. Xia's feeling of being treated by me came from. I just remember that every time I went to him, I was either sick or tired and wanted to sleep.

"On the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, I thought of a lot of reasons, and finally picked up a not-so-bad one and went to your house, but unfortunately what I saw was your coldness. At that time, I hated myself for studying this major, and I could easily see what others were thinking. Dr. Xia smiled self-deprecatingly, "I don't want to force anyone anymore, I can't afford that kind of consequences." ”

"I didn't mean that. "I explained in a panic that it was rude to be cold to people.

Dr. Xia waved his hand: "And I don't have to hide it." Qingyang, today I put myself in front of you, I don't mean anything else, and I don't want anything extravagant from you, between us, it's good to be friends. I just hope you don't mess with me anymore. If I could easily accept someone, I wouldn't have been unable to start a family until now. ”

Neither I nor him were talking. The fireworks outside the house are getting louder and louder, Nuan Nuan happily ran to the balcony to see, I chased over, looked at the fireworks outside the house, thinking about Dr. Xia's words just now, but there was no heartbeat feeling, but the biggest touch was that people should not look good, looking at the most chic and uninhibited Dr. Xia, with the warmest and most sunny appearance, the heart was so barren and desolate, like a battlefield that had been trampled by the beacon iron horse.

In addition, there is nothing more than the most fearful thing in life is to miss out, if you know that there is no chance to love, continue to be persistent, you can only end in tragedy. Thinking of this, thinking about himself and Zhao Yijing again, I only felt suffocated in distress.

Nuan Nuan asked in my arms, "Mom, will the fireworks fly into the sky?"

"Yes. "I didn't answer in the affirmative. Dr. Xia didn't know when he walked behind me and added: "The fireworks have been flying towards the sky, but when the mission of blooming is completed, it will also end." ”

Nuan Nuan didn't understand, giggled, I didn't understand either, didn't speak again. It wasn't early, and Dr. Xia was about to leave, but before leaving, he suddenly asked me, "When are we going to play ball together?"

I panicked and blurted out: "After the Spring Festival, I may go to work in Jiangsu, with warmth." ”

"Oh. Dr. Xia's body trembled, but he still gave me a clear smile, "Then I wish you all the best, call me if you have something." ”

After Dr. Xia left, I gently pushed open the bedroom door, for fear that Fan Ling would fall asleep, so I tiptoed in to get the bed quilt, and prepared to sleep with Nuan Nuan on the original Sister Li's bed in the living room. Fan Ling's voice sounded faintly: "I didn't fall asleep. ”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Turning on the light, Fan Ling was sitting on the bed with tears on her face. I took a tissue to wipe away Fan Ling's tears, and said a little embarrassed: "That will be me dizzy, blindly match you and Dr. Xia." But I'm so sad to see you so sad. Saying that, he took Fan Ling's hand, "I really don't want you and Xiao Bin to get into trouble like this, obviously it won't work." ”

Fan Ling shook her head lightly: "I don't blame you. He and I both knew it didn't work out. Tears were still flowing freely.

I sighed: "It's not easy to live, you have to take care of your body." After speaking, he briefly told Fan Ling the story of Dr. Xia, "If the body is gone, no matter how deep the feelings are, can they still linger through the ages and be reincarnated?"

Fan Ling fell into deep thought, and looked at me with a long sigh: "Do you want to choose Doctor Xia, don't you want Zhao Yijing?"

I took great pains to talk to her for a long time, but she actually came to this conclusion, and I looked at her with annoyance: "What nonsense." ”

"Actually, both are pretty good. Dr. Xia can give you marriage, but Zhao Yijing's feelings are much deeper. Fan Ling is still thinking about **, "Why don't you wait for Zhao Yijing? Maybe he can really handle it." ”

I sneered, I think Xiao Bin also thinks the same thing she promised, right? I shook my head: "I won't believe in the so-called waiting anymore." Fan Ling bit her lip and thought to herself.

Nuan Nuan fell asleep quickly, Fan Ling and I chatted while keeping the New Year, in the early hours of the morning, the surrounding fireworks and firecrackers became louder and louder, Fan Ling and I looked at each other and smiled: "Happy New Year!"

The phone was busy, text messages and calls followed, I was busy replying, and suddenly a text message from a familiar number popped in, my heart pinched, and I opened the text message, only three words: "How are you?"

My heart hurt a little, and I held my phone and read those three words all night, but I didn't reply.