I was pacing back and forth in the corridors of the operating room, there were staff in the break room, I was too embarrassed to go in, searched the common area, but couldn't find a stool that I could sit on.

Tired, prostration, stuffiness, the world in front of me seems to be a little whirlwind...... I leaned against the wall until I walked out of the operating room, found a secluded corner by the window, and sat down on the floor.

"I'm off work, what about you?" The mobile phone in his pocket vibrated slightly, and he reluctantly took it out, it was Luo Shaoqian who sent a message.

Dublin is blessed with abundant sunshine, and the sun shines through the windows, opening up every pore quickly, and people will quickly warm up from the inside out. It turns out that planting evergreen trees is the law of this world, don't people all over the world like dead trees and bare branches in winter? I hid in the corner, looking through the low window, the lush green leaves swayed with the wind in front of me, and suddenly there were two or three pieces that would be blown away by the wind, and it turned out that even the green leaves could not escape the force of the wind.

Yes, in fact, even young lives will be tormented by diseases, and tomorrow and disasters are unknown to people of any age. The sloppy and bloated middle-aged man just now may still be reveling in a carnival one second before the onset of the disease, and he would not have thought that the next second, death would come.

The withering of dead leaves is more acceptable, after all, life and death are the only way to go, everything is over, and some things must be faced and accepted. But what about the new leaves? will you regret it......

I dialed Luo Shaoqian's phone and he answered without surprise. "Hey, it's a little special today......"

This is the first time I have worked on a patient since I arrived in Ireland, and the nurse practitioner qualification in China is not widely used internationally. Rationally, this is a rescue that has little to do with me, and a crowd of onlookers wants to join the fight, and whether this is legal or not still needs to be demonstrated by the medical committee. This kind of thrilling has appeared countless times in many years of work experience, and this time it is not much different.

Countless people once accused us that after so many lives and deaths, we have undoubtedly become indifferent and casual, without reverence for life, and have lost the perception of pain and sorrow, and that curing diseases and saving people is no longer a good deed, but a job that is no different from other professions. Eventually, we will become mechanical and indifferent, no longer marveling at the beauty of life, ignoring suffering and hardship. Countless people say this about us, the cold face under the mask, the sharp mouth always says something to scare the family, and will always hold the pen to claim that complications, adverse reactions and even death are very likely to occur, which has nothing to do with medical care, and ask the family to agree to sign.

No, even if I am in a foreign country without a professional qualification, even if I have lost complete confidence in the medical industry, even if it has nothing to do with me, even if I no longer shoulder the responsibility and obligation of treating patients and saving lives, when I see the moment when a patient's life is in danger, I will still rush forward, do my best, and never give up...... I was amazed at my own behavior, even if ten thousand arrows pierced my heart, I had to die generously, of course, this is just a metaphor, the reality is not so tragic.

I told Luo Shaoqian about everything that happened today, those thrills and those rescue cooperation, and my empty mood at this moment.

"I've just rescued a case. Luo Shaoqian said.

"Are you alright?" I asked him.

"Dead ......" the voice on the other end of the phone said with a hint of regret, "This is the first patient I have died." ”

I thought he was just mentioning it in passing, but the last sentence revealed all his thoughts. I knew too well what it was like to be facing death for the first time, and he cared as much as I did, and defended a life so hard, that he was destined to be a doctor, and I seemed to have to devote my life to nursing.

Luo Shaoqian said that in the afternoon, it was a multi-disciplinary joint rescue with multiple injuries in a car accident, and many surgical experts were summoned together, and Luo Shaoqian followed his mentor to join the team. A man from the national highway was driving a car, with his favorite wife and daughter in the car, and a battery car suddenly came out of the side road, couldn't avoid it, and hit the truck that was speeding in the left lane, and the disaster happened instantly.

When 120 sent a family of three to the hospital, they were covered with blood, and the operating room made room for their family, and the major surgeons collectively discussed the surgical plan. The father in the driver's seat showed no signs of life, the mother was dying, and the little girl was in a coma. Rescuers said that the little girl who had been found unconscious under the mother's body, guessing that it was probably the mother's instinct to protect her daughter under the body.

The mother was handed over to a neurosurgeon due to a serious head injury. The little girl was suspected of bleeding from multiple organs, and Lo Siu-him and his mentor were in charge of the operation. But all efforts were in vain, and the family of three eventually died, and there was no life left...... Surgery is different from internal medicine, life or death is crisp and neat, and it never drags mud and water.

After the rescue was over, Luo Shaoqian stayed to write the operation record and ...... Death records. Family members came in waves, all of them heartbreaking and discouraged. The cacophony barely allowed Luo Shaoqian to concentrate on his work, and after sorting out all the medical paperwork, he had to have a final conversation with his family. He was such a proud and calm man, and at that moment, he didn't know how to speak, he didn't know how to comfort these living people, after all, even he couldn't help himself.

The two of us really have a good heart, even the rescue has to be so synchronized, and even the emotions are so compatible...... I was just about to say something to encourage Luo Shaoqian, who was deeply frustrated, when I heard someone behind me calling my name.

“Tong! Here are you?someone ants to meet you!" Steve's voice was flat and bright, very recognizable, and the sound of shouting came from the other side of the hallway, and there was a slight reverberation.

"I'm here!" I got up from the ground, dusted myself off, and screamed as hard as I could, wondering if Steve would find it. Luo Shaoqian on the other end of the phone obviously did not ease up, but we couldn't talk more, so we could only comfort a little and quickly hung up the phone.

Steve came running from the other end of the hallway and counted me down one by one, I didn't speak English very well, so I could only listen to it in a nutshell, and I still had to frown and listen carefully. Steve probably said that I shouldn't have run out on my own so that people couldn't find it.

I smiled awkwardly and kept apologizing, shirking my discomfort and needing a break. It was actually quite surprising because before that, almost no one cared where I was or what I was doing. When I asked them questions, they would answer them patiently, and no one took the initiative to talk to me about it or check the documents or anything.

What are they looking for me for? Steve couldn't tell......

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