He didn't speak, but stood aside and smoked a cigarette.

"Dad, the words are all out, just give me a good time. I said.

The anger is to the extreme, the stimulation is to the extreme, but it is a rare calmness.

When I first heard the news, my mind went blank, and then there was a buzzing noise, but now that I am almost sure that it is true, I am calm.

What I have always thought was unreasonable, today I have found a reasonable explanation.

"Tao Ran, I have always treated you as my own daughter. My dad said, and when he spoke, he had a cautious look in his eyes.

"I know, but I want to know now if you adopted me or picked me up. "I was very patient and very calm.

"It's all gone, now thirty-five years have passed, there's no point in you pursuing these anymore, and now it's impossible for you to find your biological parents anymore, it's been too long. My dad said again.

I suddenly felt that something was wrong, how could he be so sure that I couldn't find my biological parents?

"Do you know my real parents?" I immediately retorted.

His face turned pale.

At this time, a person came from a distance in a hurry, and happened to hear my words.

I came to ask for my mother.

She looked me up and down a few times and said, "Tao Ran, now that you know everything, I won't say anything." Our Tao family is also worthy of you, you were thrown on the street back then, if we hadn't picked you up, you would have frozen to death. Now that the conversation has been spoken, I don't want to say anything more. Feel your conscience and ask yourself, have we been sorry for you all these years. Now, you know that you are not related to our family, and it is estimated that you will not come back in the future. But your brother can't just leave it at that. Our Tao family has not asked you to repay the favor. This time, I beg you once to put this matter of your brother over. Of the 10 million, he only got more than 5 million, and you made up 10 million. From now on, we don't owe each other. ”

She was very informative, and the only thing I heard was that they picked it up from the streets.

"Is it winter? is my birthday summer?" I asked earnestly.

"Why are you asking in such detail! Can't we make up birthdays?" she said to me impatiently, then looked at my father and said, "Old Tao, what else do you have to say to her?" I told you a long time ago that she is not biological and unreliable, do you see that after she grew up and became a talent, did she take us to heart? No matter how good she is, there is always a layer of separation. Now for the sake of money, she has to send her brother in, is there such a white-eyed wolf with no conscience!"

My dad looked at me and didn't speak.

"Mom, when you picked me up, there was nothing else in it, such as letters, such as tokens or something?" I still asked very seriously.

Now, I don't mind whatever she says, what I mind is whose child I am.

This news shocked me at first, then calmly, and now it is a little lost.

Who are my parents.

I've always felt that this is a topic that I haven't been able to do for eight lifetimes. I lived for thirty-five years, and I didn't know who my real parents were. I don't know where they are, and I don't know why I'm abandoned.

"No, nothing. She was impatient.

"How old was I when I was picked up, a month, or was I new?" I asked again.

"Tao Ran, you have not finished, so many years have passed, I still remember clearly. She glared at me and said, "Do you agree to the conditions I just proposed?" ”

I was relieved whether she was good or bad for me.

"Mom, you have a good reminiscence, I want to know all the details of you picking me up and going home. I looked at the furious frown on her face and said, "I agree to all the conditions you offer." ”

"Okay, let's do it first, I'll not only tell you that you picked it up that day, but also give you all the clothes you wore that day. She said.

I nodded with joy and said, "Okay, I'll do it." ”

Only then did she show joy, and her voice softened: "Tao Ran, think about it, we are still good to you." For you to go to school, for you to eat, it does not interfere with your freedom to choose your career, nor does it interfere with your freedom to fall in love. Even biological parents may not be able to do what we do. Your brother didn't make it, but it didn't cost you much, right? What's more, in the past 30 years, we don't care how much money you have. You calculate, you have to spend a lot of money on eating and drinking over the years. ”

"I know, so I'll make it up to you. I said.

Now I realize that all along they have been talking to me about business, and what I have been talking about is feelings.

If you put all the relationship back into business, I'll take care of it.

I glanced at my father, who was smoking next to me, and whispered, "Dad, I'll take care of my brother's business." ”

"Are you still willing to call me dad now?" his voice trembled slightly.

"At all times, you're my dad. I said.

In fact, as soon as I turned around, tears fell from my eyes. In this family, the only thing that can make me feel warm is my father, when I was a child, I was scolded and beaten, and it was he who secretly coaxed me. During the period of living in the school, the living expenses were not enough, so he quietly sent them to me, and he quietly bought them for me......

I went out in tears all the way, and when I got outside, I suddenly had no destination, and for a while I didn't even know why I was here. Looking at everything familiar and unfamiliar, I felt like a world away.

The sun came out from behind the clouds, and the sun pierced me so hard that I couldn't open my eyes.

Cars were coming and going, crowds were crowded, and I was alone.

At this moment, I felt like I was isolated in outer space.

A person, with all his relations with this society, which allows him to become a whole person, leaves all this and suddenly has no value.

It turned out that the younger brother who caused me trouble, the father who was not good at words, the mean mother, and the cheating Si Jianlian were all lies...... These are all the values of my existence!

I don't know how long I stood in the deserted crowd until my phone kept vibrating in my bag, shaking me out of my planet.

I took out my phone and was relieved to see that it was Mr. Doubao calling.

He's the only beauty I have left in this world.

"Doubao Mom, the child has a fever, can you come to school as soon as possible to pick up the child?" she said anxiously on the other end of the phone.

"I'm not in Beijing right now. I blurted out, "Is the child badly burned?"

"It's serious, it's going to be thirty-nine degrees three quickly, is there anyone else who can take care of the child now?" she asked again.

"I'll find a way to get back to you right away. "I hung up.

With a child, I didn't have time to be sad, and I couldn't even last a few minutes of sorrow, so I threw myself into a fiery life again.

I thought about it for a while, and called Si Jianlian to ask him to come over. However, he was stunned on the phone, obviously anxious: "Tao Ran, I'm not in Beijing, I'm in Shenzhen, and it will take more than half a day to go back now." ”

The person I can think of is Qiao Ji'an, I found her again, but it still doesn't work when I get the news, she is farther away from Beijing, and her new love is in Atlanti in Yalong Bay.

I have no one to look for.

At this time, I realized that there are so few people around me who can be used, and even fewer who can be involved in personal matters.

There is nothing high and cold, there is just helplessness and ridiculousness. I could only call Aunt Wang and ask her to take a taxi to pick up the child, and at the same time told me to take good care of the child, and I will go back as soon as possible.

I calculated the time of the high-speed rail and the plane, booked the high-speed rail ticket for the earliest return, and called the teacher to tell her my arrangement.

She agreed on the phone. I breathed a sigh of relief.

It was five hours after I returned to Beijing, and I didn't dare to take a taxi when I came out of the South Railway Station, so I got on the subway directly to my doorstep.

On the subway, I was so anxious that I made the eighth call to Aunt Wang along the way.

"Aunt Wang, how is the child?" I asked.

"I'm taking my child to the hospital now, and the bean bag doesn't go away from fever and faints. Aunt Wang was so anxious on the phone that she was about to cry, "Tao Ran, we are on the way to the children's hospital, there are still three or four kilometers to go, you come back as soon as possible, I'm afraid that something will happen to the child, I can't afford this responsibility." ”

"I know, at most a small ...... No, forty minutes, I'll be there as soon as possible. "I was so anxious that tears came down my face.

"Okay, as soon as possible. She said.

Suddenly, I realized that she was talking about the word "we", and immediately asked, "Who are you sending the child with?"

Gu smiled. She said, "At the school gate, I took a taxi with a bean bag, and I didn't get it for a long time, so he picked us up on the side of the road, and when I got home, the child didn't get well, so he didn't leave, and said that he might have to use the car later, but fortunately, he didn't go......

"Tao Ran, you don't have to worry, I made an appointment with the best doctor, and when I arrive, I will go directly to the emergency department, and the bean bag will be fine." You've arrived, call me. I'm going to drive, that's all. Gu Yixiao snatched Aunt Wang's phone, said a few words clearly, and then quickly hung up.

Hearing his voice, my tears flowed even more.

At a critical time, he was actually helping me.

There was no traffic jam on the subway, so when I showed up in Doubao's hospital room forty minutes later, he had woken up, his eyes lit up when he saw me, and he stretched out his little hand to me for a hug.

I saw that he was safe and sound, and I almost fell.

I walked over, half-crouched down and kissed his head, and asked softly, "How do you feel now?"

"Mom, I'm much better, but my head hurts a little. Doubao said softly.

"It's okay, just drink some water and get a little more sleep. I comforted him.

The bean bag burned for about six or seven hours, and there was a short period of fainting in between, and now even if I wake up, my spirit is not very good. I looked at the saline and glucose he was hanging, and some anti-inflammatory potions, and put my heart back in my stomach.

Gu Yixiao was in the ward, but he didn't speak, standing outside the window and looking out.

"Where's Aunt Wang?" I asked.

"I've picked up my medicine, and I'll be back soon. Gu Yi said with a smile.

Our conversation was simple and ordinary, without a hint of mood swings in it.

As soon as the words fell, Aunt Wang pushed the door and walked in, and when she saw that I was there, she stopped and patted her chest and said, "You are finally back, you scared me." ”

"How's the bean bag?" I asked, glancing at the bean bag that was about to fall asleep.

"The doctor said that it was chickenpox, and now the fever has subsided, and it is estimated that it will recur in a few hours, but the doctor also instructed, but there is no need to take antipyretic medicine if it does not pass 38 degrees and 5, and it is necessary to pay attention to a light diet, and you can't scratch after it comes out. Aunt Wang said to me.

"How long do I need to stay in the hospital?" I asked again.

When Aunt Wang heard this question, she subconsciously looked at Gu Yixiao, and seeing that he didn't mind, she continued: "Originally, the child didn't need to be hospitalized if he had chickenpox, but Yixiao found someone to get a ward, and he could live until the chickenpox was completely cured." ”

"Oh, thanks. I said.

Aunt Wang knew that there had been very little contact between me and Gu Yixiao recently, but she didn't know the specific reason. However, she was here for her age, and she could guess eight (nine) and ten, so she found an excuse to leave the ward.

"Thank you, Gu Yiyi. I said to him seriously.

"What's polite, it's okay for the child to be fine. He said, glanced at the time, "I still have to leave beforehand, if you have anything important, remember to call me, as long as I am in Beijing, your business is my business." ”

After saying that, he didn't look back, and just left.

I watched Doubao sleep smoothly and was grateful to him from the bottom of my heart.

For a moment, I was a little shaken, but only for a moment.

After Aunt Wang came back, she found that Gu Yixiao was gone, so she asked casually, and when she saw that I was also indifferent, I had to say anything, and swallowed it back. I knew she tried to persuade me, but I didn't give her a chance to speak.

Doubao spent 10 days in the hospital and was completely cured of chickenpox.

In the past ten days, I went to the company three times, made an appointment with Yang Suqi once, went to the bank three times, and got the things done in my hometown.

I went to the company and wrote an IOU to the finance department, temporarily borrowing 10 million cash from the company. I went to Yang Suqi and the department handling the case to say hello, saying that I withdrew the report and would not pursue it again, and asked him to find a way to settle it with money, and I will make up for him in the future how much it will cost. I went to the bank three times, redeemed the fund I bought in my personal name, and transferred the money to a card I opened in my father's name.

Next, I will find a time to go back to my hometown and give up the kindness of more than 30 years.

Actually, I don't want to, but what can I do if others can't say anything. Such a home, leaving, may be a relief.

I accompanied Doubao to school for three days, and after making sure he was fine, I told the people in the company that I needed to leave for a day or two. I wanted to solve it in one day, so I said that I had more time.

After knowing that I was not the biological child of the Tao family, this was the first time I came to the door.

I'm here for a new house, a house I gave to my brother. The door opened, and my mom stood in it, looked at me, and said, "I thought you weren't coming back." ”

"Why, I said that I would come and get things done, and I would definitely come. I smiled, then looked behind her and asked, "What about my dad and my brother?"

"Don't call it so nice, you don't want to call it in your heart now, don't call it if you don't want to. "My mom dodged a crack in her body and let me in.

I didn't reply to her words. She has her methods, and I have my bottom line. In my place, a mother for life, I will not change my mouth just because I know that I am not biological.

My dad and brother came out of the room.

This time, the elder brother looked a little more energetic, wearing an ordinary cotton T-shirt and jeans, and when he saw me, he called out to my sister in a small voice, and then said: "I just said it, I regretted it when I finished speaking." Sister, I don't want to go to jail, if I go to prison for a few years and then come out, my life will be ruined. ”

"I can help you this time, but maybe not in the future, don't count it on others. I looked at him calmly, saw a hair on his shoulder, and reflexively reached out to flick it off for him and said, "What you want to do in the future, you have to think about it and do it again, don't be impulsive." ”

"Hmm. He answered, "Sister, I know." ”

My dad didn't say anything.

I sat down on the sofa, took out the bank card with the money stored in my bag, put it on the table, and said, "Dad, this card is opened in your name, and the password is the last six digits of your ID card, and the amount in it is relatively large, you keep it." As for how to spend it, I don't care. ”

As soon as my voice fell, my mother reached out to take the card, but I stopped it.

"What can he keep? He doesn't know where to put his socks, I'll take care of them, we're a family. My mom looked at me and said.

"He's my dad and the head of the family, so I'll only give him the money. I said.

She withdrew her hand a little sneeringly and scolded: "Dead girl, he will give it to me when I turn around." ”

"It is his business for him to give you, and it is my business for me to give it to you. I shoved the card into my dad's hand and told him again, "You put it away, if something happens at home, there will be an emergency." ”

He mumbled and squeezed it in his palm.

I looked at a room full of three, and it was clear that they had taken my brother and sister out.

In this case, I also let go, thought for a moment and said, "Let me do it, I did it, and now I want to sweeten what happened the day I was picked up." ”

My mother glanced at me and smiled: "Tao Ran, you are still serious when I talk to you casually." Something from thirty years ago, I threw it away a long time ago. ”

I wanted to get angry, I felt like I was being sucked up, and she actually threw away things related to my life experience.

Before I got angry, she quickly spoke: "The time I picked you up was in late summer and early autumn, at the intersection of our hometown business town into the city, in a rattan basket, wearing a jumpsuit, wrapped in a small flower quilt. The rest is gone. We let the experienced old man see it and said that you have about three or four months, so we will estimate your birthday. That's all, nothing else. ”

I was an abandoned baby, thrown in a desolate street.

Just thinking about this sentence made me feel like a heart growing out of a sharp knife, so full of holes that I almost lost consciousness in pain.

"What else?" I asked.

This sentence was extremely difficult to say, and unconsciously, he was dumbfounded for a moment.

"Nothing else. When my mother said this, she saw my strangeness, her heart softened, her voice softened, and she persuaded, "When you were born, it was just in time for the country's family planning policy to come out, and who didn't want to have a son in that era, so there were a lot of people who threw their daughters, and they could pick up baby girls on the street for three days, and some of them froze to death when they were found." You're lucky, Tao Ran, don't think about it, you're doing well now, that's enough, isn't it. As long as you still treat us as family, we will always treat you as family. ”

At this time, even though I knew that there was a lot of water mixed in these words, I was still moved. The tears that I had endured for a long time poured down.

"Sister, don't think about it, don't cry, I promise not to do these things in the future, and I promise to live a good life. My brother said.

"You know a, she has to cry to feel better. My mom said.

I don't know how much love I lack, but when I hear such words, my heart actually warms.

"I'm fine. I said with a forced smile.

When I wiped away my tears and looked up, I saw my dad standing by and stopping.

"Dad, what do you have to say?" I asked.

He was just about to speak, but my mother opened her mouth first and said, "Tao Ran is just right, don't recruit her." ”

My dad swallowed it back.

My mother cooked a hearty lunch, and served me vegetables for the first time. After the meal, she pulled me to talk for a while.

I looked at the time, and even though I was a little nostalgic for this little family warmth, I still decided to go back to Beijing. At home in Beijing, I still have a bean bag waiting for me. It doesn't matter if I am abandoned by my parents, my children must have full maternal love.

When we arrived at the station, a large screen scrolled inside showing that heavy rain in the south had delayed many trains by three to four hours. I waited in the station for a while, and suddenly I saw the name of the small town in my hometown on the map of the province on the wall.

It was at this moment that I decided to go back and have a look.

There were taxis outside the high-speed rail station, and I flagged down one with the name of the commercial town.

The commercial town is an ancient town, full of Ming and Qing dynasty buildings. Before the liberation, it was the largest grain market in the Central Plains, where thousands of grains were traded every day, so it was called a commercial town. Later, when the four old ones were broken, this was also the focus of care, and they were smashed into a mess by the red generals. Again, after the reform and opening up, the only few remaining compounds have been listed as provincial key cultural relics protection units.

I walked the highway for an hour to the commercial town, and when I arrived, I looked at this small town with many small buildings, and I couldn't find any memories of my childhood.

I grew up in this town until I was five years old, and I went to the provincial capital because my father was admitted to the factory, and I have lived there ever since. Before I went to junior high school, there were old people here who came back often. Later, when my grandparents died, we sold the house in this small town and settled down in the provincial capital completely.

I haven't been back for nearly twenty years, and the changes here are amazing.

When I walk on the streets, I can only get back a little bit of the feeling I had when I see the Ming and Qing dynasties that have not been demolished, but this feeling is very strange, and those houses look particularly shabby against the backdrop of the new houses.

The intersection that my mother said has long been out of farmland, and now it is a big crossroads, with a small five- or six-story building in the southeast, west, and northwest, with Internet cafes, hotels, supermarkets, and shoe stores.

Suddenly my heart turned discouraged.

I stood there for a long time, and I couldn't imagine how my little me could resist the night of abandonment when it was surrounded by farmland.

I believe what my mother said was written into my genes in my hometown. No one cares if a baby girl lives or dies, and it's my luck that I survived.

Thinking of this, I felt depressed and sad, and I was disheartened for a long time, until I was waiting for my taxi and asked, "Girl, are you going back?"

I came back to my senses in a daze, smiled at myself, and said, "Return, of course." ”

This was said to the driver, but also to myself.

I didn't delay the bus back to Beijing, but this time I left my hometown, and my mood was different.

When I returned to Beijing to unload everything, I saw the bean bags and felt down-to-earth and warm. Anyway, I still have him. He is what I brought into this world, and I will be responsible for him.

Bean Bao was happy to see me and pounced into my arms like a bird, and I was kissing him on the cheek when he exclaimed again, "Wow, Daddy is back." ”

I looked back and saw Si Jianlian. He stood outside the glass door and waved at me.

：。 ：