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Different ages, different moods.

Gu Yixiao and I have gone through so many ups and downs, and finally came together, we are excited, but more indifferent. It's like I know that the last person to be by my side must be him, and he also knows that the person who is by his side in the end must be me.

I wore a ring on my hand, and it was no surprise that others saw it.

An Qi held my hand and looked at it for a while and said, "Sister Tao Ran, did you really decide to marry like this?"

"Hmm. I answered.

"Gu Yixiao is perfect and good, but I think there is a little bit of a gap between you and him*. Angel said with a little regret.

"That's because we've been together for too long, and it's long past the *stint period. I said.

She thought for a moment, and finally nodded, "Also, when you * are *, you can die for each other." This is something that many women are pursuing. ”

"But, in the end, you realize that the ordinary is the one who can last. I said.

Angel listened thoughtfully.

I thought she was fine, so I got up and went goodbye. But when I was about to stand up, she suddenly pressed my hand and said, "When you say that, I suddenly understand Fang Xian's current state a little, he is a little bland, and he looks like he can see everything." ”

"Do you know anything about his past?" I asked.

Angel nodded: "It's too vigorous, it's too pure, it's really for love, he can give up everything." ”

Everyone has a time when they use their best to their feelings, but in the end, there must be no good results.

An Qi said again: "Actually, it's not nothing*, I can see you and Gu Yixiao, but the feelings are introverted and not let go." ”

Perhaps, Angel was right. However, it is also true that I have less expectations for marriage and love now, and I suddenly understand what it means to go with the flow.

Especially emotional matters, you can't force it.

Gu Yixiao and I got the certificate, walked out of the gate of the Civil Affairs Bureau, glanced at each other, and saw the indifference in each other's eyes. As we went down the steps, he grabbed my hand and said, "Slow down, your heels are too high today." ”

I laughed.

This kind of may be life, but I also know that because there are feelings in it, what seems ordinary to others is different from what seems to us.

When I got home, Doubao thoughtfully sent a bouquet of flowers tied by myself, and said seriously: "Mom, you must be happy this time." ”

I nodded, crouched down and kissed him.

Gu Yixiao said that he would cook a hearty dinner for us himself, so that I and the bean bags could rest.

As soon as Gu Yixiao entered the kitchen, Doubao said to me with a serious face: "Mom, I talked to Uncle Gu the night before yesterday, and I think he is much more mature and a responsible man." It turned out that when I was younger, he would take me to play. Now, he can chat with me seriously, and when I ask him a few questions, he gives me very satisfactory answers. So I don't have any problem with you getting married today. ”

"Have you talked to Uncle Gu, what are you talking about?" I asked with some curiosity.

"It's a conversation between men, you don't have to know. However, there is one thing you need to know, and that is that I will protect you no matter what happens in the future. He patted his little chest and said.

At this moment, I suddenly found that the little bean bag that I had always liked to stay in my arms had grown up, and he had changed from a soft baby to a bright and clean boy.

It's only been a few years, and time has taken my little bean bag away.

Looking at the little boy in front of me, I felt both happy and sad in my heart.

I don't expect him to protect me, I just want him to be safe and happy, and live the life he wants.

Gu Yixiao's parents rarely interfere in our lives, and occasionally have dinner together on weekends, and they are very fond of bean buns, at least from my point of view, they really regard him as their own grandson.

We've been through so much that we've all matured and steady.

Later, Gu Yixiao's father had pneumonia several times, and Gu Yixiao discussed with me whether to send them to a place with beautiful mountains and rivers for retirement. I initially heard this suggestion and disagreed. Because, in the eyes of outsiders, there is really a suspicion that we are driving the old man outside. But one sentence from him dispelled my concerns: "We don't need to watch other people's arguments live." ”

"Okay, you can arrange it. I said.

Gu Yixiao kissed me on the forehead, and then quickly booked a plane ticket, and at the same time checked the house price on the Internet, and called to ask his parents if they wanted to go to Yunnan for a while. Who knew that the news he got made him smile bitterly, and said to me after closing the line: "The old couple has arrived." ”

A few hours later, I saw the blue sky and white clouds over there posted in his parents' circle of friends.

We are usually busy with each other, and after work, we agree not to look at our mobile phones or brush up on our moments, to do housework and chat together, or simply go for a walk, and our lives are dull and happy.

In this way, three months passed quickly, and Gu Yixiao suddenly told me that he was going to see someone and asked me if I wanted to go. I was stunned, looked at his solemn expression and asked, "Who is it?"

He hugged me and said, "Gu Tianbao." ”

I was stunned and asked, "How is he now?"

"Living in a psychiatric hospital for a long time is not going to be very good. However, the doctor called and said that he had a problem with his body functions and that he might be dying soon, and that I was going to go and see him. Because he is in the United States, it will take a little longer to come and go, are you with me, or will you stay in Beijing?" said Gu Yixiao.

For Gu Tianbao, he mentioned very little to me. I even thought that Gu Tianbao was still hiding in a certain city, living his life as a little rich man incognito, but I didn't expect him to enter a mental hospital.

"How did he end up in a psychiatric hospital?" I asked.

Gu Yixiao frowned and said: "When I was at work, I suddenly fell ill and stabbed the employee with a paper cutter, and it took several people to restrain him at that time, and he calmed down after taking a tranquilizer after arriving at the hospital." Later, the doctor diagnosed it as a psychotic episode. ”

He said very calmly, and finally said: "Either you are in Beijing, you have no friendship with him, and it is bad to go to meet him." I'll take care of it myself. ”

"Oh well. I said.

Suddenly, I realized, I don't know when it began, and my curiosity died. If it was in the past, I would definitely go with it, but now he says I don't need to go, and I don't think there's any need to go. Because I also understand that how Gu Tianbao is, it really doesn't have any impact on me.

This matter seemed to be in a hurry, and Gu Yixiao left the next day.

After he left, on the third day, a pale and thin woman found me, who had been waiting for me downstairs in the company, to be precise.

She had a picture in her hand, and when she saw me, she checked it again. I couldn't help but look at her twice, and at this time she said with some hesitation: "Hello, is it Tao Ran?"

As she spoke, I suddenly felt inexplicably familiar.

I nodded and said to her, "I am, who are you?" I don't seem to know you. ”

She smiled shyly and said, "You definitely don't know me, I am Gu Tianbao's mother, and I came to Beijing this time to meet you." ”

Gu Tianbao's mother came to Beijing specifically to see me?

I think this incident is very strange, what is she seeing me for? What's more, among all the news I have heard, Gu Tianbao's mother is a patient who has been in a mental hospital for a long time, but her eyes are so clear, she does not look like a mental patient.

"Hello, you have something to do with me?" I asked.

She nodded, still very shy, and said, "Can you sit down and talk?" ”

I thought for a moment and said, "Is it okay to drink tea?"

She smiled and said, "Yes, thank you." ”

Her politeness and politeness made me feel very comfortable, so I took her to a nearby teahouse. This teahouse is a Japanese-style tea ceremony, and you have to take off your shoes and wear socks when you enter the door.

She seemed familiar with it, and there was no rustiness or discomfort at all.

When we got to the cubicle and sat down, she bowed to me and said, "Thank you for your thoughtfulness, you've probably heard that I'm Japanese." ”

I looked up at her with a little surprise and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know beforehand." ”

She smiled thoughtfully and said, "That's probably fate." ”

I poured her a cup of tea and said, "Then you are looking for me, what is the matter?"

She took the teacup with both hands and smiled very gently, "Actually, I'm just here to clarify one thing." Now, I don't know who I'm going to clarify with about this. ”

I looked at her, vaguely guessed something, and my heart was full of unease.

"I'm not mentally ill, and I don't have a history of mental illness in my family, and all the people in my family are normal. Gu Tianbao is also not mentally ill. She looked at me and said word by word, "Normal people, if they take too much medicine for mental illness, they will also go insane." ”

The shock in my heart was no less than that of a great earthquake, but I was barely able to maintain calm on the surface.

"You tell me this, why?" I smiled to hide my uneasiness and shock.

She still looked at me seriously and shyly: "I just want people to know that my son and I are normal people and not mentally ill." Even if only one person believes it. ”

"Gu Tianbao is not very good now, don't you go back and see him?" I looked at her pale and bloodless face, and finally couldn't help but say the current situation of Gu Tianbao.

"I know that, that's why I'm here to talk to you, and then I'll leave. However, I couldn't go to see him, and if I did, I would be put in a mental hospital. That place is hell, and I don't want to go into it anymore. Tianbao is already like that, what difference does it make if I see it or not?" She seemed to say to me, but as if to herself. Because when she said these words, she hung her head slightly, and her voice was soft and faint.

I have a terrible headache.

The Gu family's affairs are more complicated than I imagined, who is telling the truth and who is false? How can I tell the difference? Besides, even if I do, what is the use? So does it help?

She looked at me and asked, "Presumably, at this point, you are not interested in me or the story behind me." Then I'll bother more. Thank you for listening to me so much. See you soon!"

I watched her stand up and walk away again, opening her mouth a few times, but finally not saying anything to get her back.

This is the first time I have met this woman and the last time I have seen her. Ten days later, Gu Yixiao came back, he looked tired, after entering the house, he threw his luggage on the ground, unbuttoned his shirt, smiled at me tiredly and said, "I'm back, everything is done." ”

"Gu Tianbao?" I asked.

He nodded and said, "Just as the doctor said, I went to stay with him for three days, and he died." It's okay like this, I don't know when this torture is a leader, even if it's a relief. ”

At this moment, I believed the woman's words, but I didn't want to pierce Gu Yixiao.

He has experienced many things that I can't imagine, just like I have experienced so many dark nights, so many entanglements and sorrows in the night, and these experiences are also unimaginable to him.

Now, I wanted to ask and didn't want to ask, and after thinking for a long time, I bent down to pick up the luggage he threw on the ground and smiled at him: "You are tired for a few days, take a shower and rest first." Wait a moment and you'll be in the spirits, and we'll talk again. ”

He smiled, hugged me hard and said, "Okay, I'll go up first." ”

Because he said in advance that he would come back today, Gu Yixiao's parents took the bean bag away in the afternoon. Said to give us time to reunite. Now, I made dinner, but I didn't wait for Gu Yixiao, I went upstairs and saw that he was already asleep, he had already taken a bath, wrapped in a bathrobe, and was lying on the bed very relaxed, but when I looked closer, I saw that he was frowning.

I saw that he was really tired enough, so I prepared to go out quietly. Just as I turned around, he suddenly woke up, called Tao Ran, and then just stared at me blankly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting down and taking his hand.

"Tao Ran, I just found out now that I am very relieved to have you by my side. I don't want anything more in this life than you. As he spoke, he held out his hand and said, "Can you give me a hug?" ”

I nodded and he pressed me into his arms, and then hugged me hard, and after a while I heard his voice choked: "Tao Ran, I'm really afraid of losing you." ”

"It's okay, you can't control this kind of thing. I comforted him.

Gu Yixiao didn't explain anything, hugged me and cried for a long time, and finally after slowly calming down, he said in a very low voice: "Tao Ran, I have done good things and bad things in this life, and in general, the merits and demerits have been offset." If there really is hell after death, I will go down alone and leave the good to you. ”

"Okay, what are you talking about?" I asked, pushing him away and looking him in the eye.

He smiled and kissed me lightly on the forehead: "I always feel that days like this are like a dream, for fear that one day I will wake up from a dream and suddenly find that you are gone." ”

"No, it won't. I said.

"You promise. He said stubbornly.

"I promise. I smiled softly at him.

His tears made me suddenly understand that since there were some things he didn't let me know, then I wouldn't ask because there was no need. What's more, the affairs of their family involve several generations, and it is not something that he can do alone, let alone he can do it alone.

I sympathize with Gu Tianbao's mother and son, but this sympathy is cheap because it doesn't help.

Our days are ordinary, like many ordinary couples, going to and from work every day, taking care of the children, and occasionally doing housework, with fireworks in their simplicity.

Sometimes I look at the side of his face helping me wash fruit in the kitchen, and I will have a moment of trance, as if all this beauty in front of me is in a dream. I'm afraid that I suddenly woke up from a dream, and everything in front of me was empty.

However, time passed day by day, and my dream with him continued. If you can do this for a lifetime, it is also a happy thing, not to mention that I think this time I can really be happy for a lifetime.

We have been warm, bland, unfamiliar, and misunderstood...... Now, everything is gone, and looking into the future, there are large tracts of beauty waiting to be harvested.