He turned his eyes and looked at me indifferently, but he didn't react at all, but he saw that I was under a lot of pressure.

sighed in my heart, there are some words, I am afraid that if I don't say them, I won't have the courage to say them in the future, "Actually, I know that you have someone you like, although this marriage was asked by you to cooperate with me at the beginning, but you don't have to feel ashamed of me or anything to let us continue." One day, we're still going to leave, aren't we?"

Before today, I was reluctant to divorce him, but I can't keep his freedom bound because of my selfishness, and I don't want my brother to hurt me again.

Even though my face is pretending to be calm, my heart is like a knife. I'll just bear all the pain, and I don't want them to be hurt by this meaningless marriage. I don't want to ...... either. I'm going to let my brother down again.

Therefore, it is better to have a long pain than a short pain, even if this pain has accumulated for more than ten years.

He looked at the teacup on the coffee table, and was silent for a long time before he said lightly, "Now is not the time." ”

I'm actually a little happy to hear this, but I can't let myself be willful anymore, I have to give myself a "pain" today, "Do you still want to be bumped into by my brother and fight with you the next time you have a light meal with her?"

Actually, I haven't been able to make trouble, obviously Qi Jing knows my relationship with him, but he can still maintain a good relationship with Qin Jianghao, won't they feel inappropriate?

What makes me feel even more strange is that Qi Jing has been making trouble with me several times, but there is no movement on Qin Jianghao's side, doesn't he know that Qi Jing already knows about this? Or does he actually know all along, just deliberately turning a blind eye?

If that's the case, it's terrible......

He suddenly got up from the sofa, then took the key on the coffee table and walked out, leaving only one sentence coldly, "I have something to do, I'll talk about it later." There was a hint of displeasure in his voice.

I watched him go out quickly, and I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, who knows the pain in my heart?

In the eyes of others, I may be the same as a cheap, but who understands that Qin Jianghao is already a habitual and inseparable existence for me?

More than ten years is enough time for me to love him thoroughly, but this feeling must always be hidden, not let him find out, not let him know, and not be able to say anything to him.

Because I know he doesn't love me.

Qin Jianghao hasn't been home for three days since he said he had something to do and left that day, and I don't know where he went, but it's normal, because he never had to report to me where he went.

It's just that the courage I have accumulated in the past two days, and the many things I want to say to him, have been exhausted in this kind of waiting. I began to waver again, reluctant to divorce.

I'm afraid that he will really marry Qi Jing and enter the door, I'm afraid that I will be a stranger to him in the future, I'm afraid that he won't take good care of himself, I'm afraid that every time he returns to this huge home, no one will cook for him, I'm afraid that he will be alone, I'm afraid that he will ...... When he was sad when he thought of his mother, there was no one to be by his side.

Maybe Qi Jing can do these things for me, and maybe they can do better, but I don't want to.

Qin Jianghao's sadness, fragility, pain, decadence, embarrassment and tears have never been revealed in front of me alone, and I don't want others to see him too.

I have been by his side since I was six years old, and it took me eighteen years to lose my entire youth in exchange for getting along with him day and night, she Qi Jing just got along with him for two years in high school, and went abroad after college, and she didn't do anything for him, what qualifications does she have to be by his side?

I am unwilling, and even more unconvinced.

Everyone says that if you really love someone, you are happy and you are happy, but if his happiness is not given to him by himself, then will he really be happy?

At least I'm not that generous, I can't give him happiness, but I will accompany him, be good to him, and share his pain, vulnerability and sorrow for him.

People do not live with happiness.

The quilt had already fallen under the bed, but I didn't bother to pick it up, so I still sat on the bed, resting my head on my knees, and quietly waited for the dawn. I had a bit of insomnia in both days, always waking up in the middle of the night and then unable to sleep.

When the first rays of the morning shone through the glass and found the gap between the curtains, I moved my head, stared at the light for a few seconds, then got out of bed, put on my shoes, turned on the light in the room, and began to pack my clothes.

The day after tomorrow is the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, my mother told me and Qin Jianghao to rush back today or tomorrow, everyone will celebrate the New Year together, otherwise by the Chinese New Year's Eve, the road will definitely be very congested, I am afraid that we will not have time to rush back and miss the time to eat together.

I've been waiting for three days, and he hasn't come back, I'm afraid he won't come back before the New Year, right? After all, Qi Jing is back this year, and he should be with her for the New Year.

Pulling my luggage out of the door, the oncoming cold wind blew my face with deep pain, and it also made my heart extremely cold.

The chance of snow in C city is very small, I haven't seen snow this year, so I don't have the feeling that the New Year is approaching, if it wasn't for my mother calling me to inform me, I wouldn't know that the day after tomorrow will be the New Year.

It's been a bad day.

I took a taxi and was about to go directly to the station to buy a ticket, but on the way, I suddenly saw Qin Jianghao's car that had disappeared for three days, and I quickly asked the driver to turn around and chase him, and then called him at the same time.

It didn't take a few rings before he picked it up, and he still asked coldly, "What's the matter?"

"You park me and I'm behind you!"

"You can't park here. ”

Then I followed his car back home, and when I paid for the car, I was very embarrassed, and I tossed for a long time, but I turned back again.

The driver was also quite speechless, but it was not easy to say anything.

Seeing Qin Jianghao get out of the car, I hurriedly pulled my suitcase and ran over. The sound of trunk wheels was unusually clear and harsh on the empty road.

He saw me pulling a suitcase, frowned and asked me, "What are you doing with your suitcase?"

I didn't answer his question, but told him, "It's the New Year the day after tomorrow, and my mother asked us to go back and celebrate the New Year together." ”

He was stunned and said to himself, "It's the New Year so soon?"

I heard it and hurriedly said, "Let's go to the station to buy a ticket right away, there may be no tickets later." ”

He looked at me and didn't speak.

"Let's go, I've packed all my things, and I've brought your clothes with me. ”

I'll admit I'm a little anxious and hope he'll come with me right away. He's so busy, I'm afraid that someone will call him away as soon as he turns his head, and I'm even more afraid that he won't go.

His only loved one is gone, and I hope that the first year without his mom is the one he spent with me. Besides, in previous years, when his mother was still there, they also spent the New Year with my family every New Year, and if he celebrated the New Year with others, he would definitely be very unaccustomed to it.

"You don't have to buy a ticket. He said.

I lowered my eyes, "Aren't you going back with me?"

He said: "I haven't made arrangements for the company yet, and I'll go back tomorrow." ”

My tense heart was relieved at once, and then I reacted to something, looked at him in surprise and asked, "Alas, haven't you given your company a holiday yet?"

He raised his hand and rubbed his eyebrows, looking very tired, "I forgot." ”

Did you forget the Chinese New Year, or did you forget to give them a holiday?

How did he become the boss?

Forget it, none of this has anything to do with me, I don't care, "Then I'll book a ticket online, what time is it better to book?

"No, I don't. ”

"......" still won't go back with me?

"I went straight by car. ”

"......" I turned my head to look at the car behind him, there was such a big lump here, why did I ignore its existence? The last time we went back together, didn't he also drive his own car? Look at my rote memory, I was really dizzy.

He pulled the car into the garage to park, and I pulled my suitcase to the door and waited for him.

He came over and took out the key and opened the door, and walked in, I dragged my suitcase and followed, "I only brought you three sets of clothes, a toothbrush, a razor, and ......" I blushed with thin skin, "and two new panties, do you see if there is anything else you need to bring?"

He really thought about it thoughtfully, and then said with a serious face: "Bring two more pairs of underwear." ”

"......" Then I blushed and went upstairs to rummage through his closet.

Later, he called his colleague, and I vaguely knew that he seemed to be asking them to arrange what year-end bonus gifts to employees and arrange annual leave.

I thought he would come over tomorrow to arrange it, but I didn't expect him to arrange it today.

After he finished the call, I waited for another half an hour to see that he finally stopped using his mobile phone, and then reached out to him and said, "Can you lend me your mobile phone?" ”

He didn't ask me what I was for, he just handed it to me.

I took his phone and started downloading the mobile game, and after downloading it, I sat across from him and started playing. He looked at me helplessly, but didn't say anything.

After playing for a while, I saw that the time was not early, and then I was ready to go upstairs to sleep, and when I got upstairs, I suddenly remembered something, and then looked at him who was still downstairs and asked, "What time are we leaving tomorrow?"

Qin Jianghao raised his head and looked at me, "Ten o'clock." ”

"Then I'll set the alarm clock from nine o'clock. With that, I put his phone on the guardrail, then searched my pocket for my phone and started setting the alarm.

After setting it up, I turned around and was about to go back to my room to sleep, but I forgot Qin Jianghao's mobile phone on the guardrail. Because he was about to put his phone in his pocket again, he bent his arm and raised it, and when he turned around, his elbow "accidentally" touched the phone on the guardrail.

I only heard the sound of "pop", and when I reacted and ran downstairs to pick it up, the screen of his mobile phone had been shattered into a chrysanthemum.

I took his mobile phone corpse and took the initiative to walk over to apologize to him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." ”