Chinese I don't know.

The only thing that is certain is that there is no point in hate.

Maybe I've been through too much, and after knowing this so-called truth, I'm calmer than I imagined, and if I have to say anything, maybe my life has become more absurd.

Maybe it was because the wind blew that day, after my birthday, I had a high fever for a few days, and I didn't have the strength to get up because of the pain all over my body.

This neighbor is very faceless, and I guess it's because I don't usually interact with people.

Jiang Hao also called me, and later I knew that he asked for my mobile phone number from Qi Xiang, and Qi Xiang knew that I came to the UK, and Jiang Hao told him, so Qi Xiang found me in the singing room, really because he had been looking for me for four months. Of course, Jiang Hao was tight-lipped about Qi Xiang about those things in China.

Jiang Hao asked me if I had any plans to return to China.

I laughed dryly and didn't speak.

He said, "Then you and Si Chen?"

"You keep telling me to go back, don't you want your sister to die?"

This time, Jiang Hao was speechless.

I think I understand that he has good intentions, but I should have guessed correctly, Jiang Tong definitely didn't give up on Si Chen. In fact, things have developed to this point, Si Chen and I can't go back for a long time, not to mention these messy obstacles between us, those simple and beautiful feelings in the past are long gone.

Qi Xiang has never looked for me, and since I said that to him, neither the phone nor the person has appeared again.

After I got better, I went to change my mobile phone number, on the surface I didn't want Jiang Hao to find me again, but in fact, I understood that I was afraid that Qi Xiang would really be disappointed in me and no longer contact, so at least I could lie to myself, he just couldn't find me.

As for why I care so much about Qi Xiang's opinion, or for that very vulgar reason, I treat him as a friend.

It's just that now it seems that he is already a friend in his last life.

After a serious illness, I went back to the singing room to sing, but Qi Xiang didn't show up, and when I was singing, I always inadvertently looked at the position where he had sit, empty.

I can only smile awkwardly, Qi Xiang will never come again.

But I guessed wrong, a week later, when I turned my head to look at that position again, Qi Xiang was sitting there, looking down at a book, and I didn't know if the light here was enough, whether he was looking at it or not.

Later, I understood that Qi Xiang was indeed reading, and it would have been better for him to be close to the bar light, otherwise I wouldn't have seen him so clearly.

Qi Xiang still came to listen to the song, he came every night, I secretly observed, he came a little earlier than me, and left a little earlier than me, so I can't guess where he went after that.

Although Qi Xiang still came every night, he didn't talk to me once, and I didn't dare to look in that direction, once when I saw it inadvertently, I found that Qi Xiang was not reading, he did look up at me, and he was listening to me sing.

Qi Xiang never ordered any more songs, and he didn't occasionally invite me to a glass of wine like others. But every time I took someone else's glass and felt that he was there, I felt uncomfortable, and after the first few times I pretended not to care about drinking the wine, I found that he was also looking at me when I was drinking, with a faint gaze and a look of indifference.

But the way he looks makes me feel a lot of pressure.

A British guy asked me why Qi Xiang always looked at me, because we were both Chinese, and the British guy thought Qi Xiang was my boyfriend.

I grabbed him and told him not to ask.

After catching a glimpse of Qi Xiang's gaze staring at me, my hand let go like an electric shock, not knowing what I was doing in my heart.

There were times when I wanted to ask him what he meant, but I lost a little bit of courage, and sometimes I sat in the middle of a group of people and smoked, and I couldn't feel the smell of the smoke, and I kept panicking.

"You've been wrong since you got sick. ”

That's what a lot of people have to say about me.

I stood up and walked in the direction of Qi Xiang, but before I could reach him, he had disappeared.

Qi Xiang really didn't look for me again, but he appeared in my life in this form, like a shadow, so that I didn't even have a reason or way to refuse.

There is another possibility, it is really my own passion.

For three months in a row, Qi Xiang appeared every day, and gradually his presence became my habit, although I still couldn't quit smoking and drinking, but it was obviously less than before, and in front of him, I was embarrassed to wear particularly revealing clothes.

Until that day, Qi Xiang did not come.

There are three teachings and nine streams in the night game, and the singing room I am in can't even compare to the night show.

This place is not very formal in the first place, the singers and musicians are all amateurs among amateurs, and it is said that I am already the best singer and the best ever.

Singing well means that some people like it, and some people like to listen to songs, so naturally some people are worried about the master.

I've been in this situation when I first came here, and I'm probably a very defensive person, and I've never suffered a loss. Now Qi Xiang appears like this every day, and the people in the field don't dare to hit my attention.

But Qi Xiang didn't come, and I was in trouble.

Maybe it's because Qi Xiang didn't come, I was a little absent-minded this day, and I looked at his position several times intentionally or unintentionally, wondering if he finally felt bored and gave up, and wondered if he would really never come again this time.

The mood is not high, and I don't have the heart to guard against others, and after singing, someone called me to play in the private room, and I agreed without thinking about it.

Normally, I wouldn't go into a private room with anyone, but when I agreed, I was dragged inside, and my refusal turned into a rejection in their eyes, and the music outside was so noisy that no one could hear my voice and come to help.

I was even more dumbfounded when I actually went in, there were more than a dozen foreign men in the whole box, just me, and the table was full of alcohol and cigarettes, as well as some other drugs to help the fun. The atmosphere was so weird that I turned around and pushed the door to leave, when I was suddenly hugged by someone.

In the past few months, I have admitted that I have gone too far, learning to smoke and drink, but I have never acquiesced to anyone's intimate physical contact, and the moment I was touched, I had no other thoughts or feelings than nausea.

I was pressed on the couch by them, and then two foreigners sat on either side of me and hooked my shoulders to let me drink.

Actually, they didn't intend to force me when I said I don't want it and pushed that hair arm away, but my mind was messed up, and the moment I was touched, I remembered what happened in the warehouse, what happened in that van, those pictures.

I shouted and cried, and they kept saying sorry and saying they were going to send me out, and someone came and grabbed me by the arm.

The man actually opened the door, too, so they really didn't plan to do anything too much. But I just couldn't wake up, and I pushed all the bottles off the table with my hands, and they pulled me out, and I ran in the opposite direction.

Because of crying, my vision was blurred, and the lighting in the box was not good, so I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly, I felt someone hugging me, and it was different from being touched by those foreigners, and the smell on my body was different.

"Don't be afraid of Chen Xiang, it's me, Qi Xiang. ”

I shook my head, "No. ”

"It's really me, I'm Qi Xiang, you open your eyes and take a look. ”

"No, no, you let go. ”

"Don't be afraid, they're all out, it's just me and you here. ”

I still cried, crying endlessly, after crying tired, I felt unexpectedly quiet in my ears, I opened my eyes, the person who has been by my side is really Qi Xiang.

"I'm sorry. ”

I got up from the sofa, touched my tears with the back of my hand, and when I was about to leave, Qi Xiang suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Can't you come with me?"

"What do you say? I pretended not to understand and was going to ignore him.

Qi Xiang: "I come here every day just to wait for you, I'm afraid that you won't bother you if you don't want to see me, every day I go out early to wait for you behind the alley, and then secretly follow you to send you home." I was stuck inside for the subway accident today and was late, so I waited outside and saw that you didn't come out, so I would come in to find you. Xiangxiang, come with me, okay?"

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