All the good things you imagine can collapse in an instant, making you so desperate that you don't even have the strength to deceive yourself.

I have always felt that the entanglement between me and Pei Shaobei may continue like this because of the child, maybe when the child is born, goes to the household registration, and goes to school, we will be able to enter into marriage. I didn't expect anything from it, and I didn't even want to care anymore.

This kind of self-deception days are long and bland, when the stomach is seven months, I can no longer stand on the podium to teach, fortunately, Sister Yu has been helping, my course arrangement is very little, and it is not very important, and no one used to listen to the class, so I can sit on the chair and take classes, a few months of habit, so that I can no longer find the passion when I took professional classes, as if all the purpose is no longer to teach, but to teach others how to deal with the fourth or sixth level exam, how to get the certificate that may be useful in the future.

This decadent and hopeless working hours makes me feel very depressed, and the only thing you can relieve is to go to the bookstore, because there is less time for classes, but more time to soak in the bookstore, as if my full-time job is not to teach, but to read books.

Pei Shaobei was also very worried about my eyes for this reason, so he specially found someone to match me with a pair, which was so expensive that I vomited blood, but it was always kept in my bag and rarely carried. Some things that seem luxurious are not suitable for a civilian like me, I have always felt so, and my inferiority complex is getting stronger and stronger in my heart, but I am pressed down by my seemingly ordinary life. I don't think about it, I don't think it exists.

It wasn't until I was blocked in the library by a woman in a tailored Italian dress that I realized that there are some things that don't happen if you don't think about it.

That woman is a person with the same background and identity as the Pei family, and she is also a candidate for a granddaughter-in-law that Pei Shaobei's grandfather has always been very fond of. I stood across from the man in my ugly maternity clothes, embarrassed.

She didn't come here to find fault, and she didn't come to beat or scold you without any image like she was shown on TV, like a noble shrew. She stirred the coffee elegantly and even kindly offered me freshly squeezed juice. The voice is gentle and beautiful, and the smile is bright and kind.

Under the delicate makeup, those indifferent and alienated eyes are very similar to Pei Shaobei and Shao Ling.

She said: I know you, you are Gu Wan, and the child in your belly is Pei Shaobei's.

I didn't answer, I lowered my head, and subconsciously stirred the juice in my hand like her.

She said: I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, the relationship between me and Pei Shaobei was not very deep, but the two elders felt it was appropriate and wanted to advance the marriage. Miss Gu, reality is not a fairy tale, I don't have the courage to break free from the shackles of the family, I don't know if you can? If you can, I bless you, if not, then please bless me too!

I still didn't speak, but I felt in my heart that what this man said was strange. Why should I bless her, why should I bless a woman who robbed me of my happiness. I looked up at her, trying to see a little guilt in her eyes, a little viciousness, but no, the other party was very calm, calm as if talking about not a marriage, but a trivial matter.

"Do you love him?"

I asked this sentence in a daze, and only after I did I feel stupid.

Sure enough, the other party couldn't help but chuckle, but he looked better and better, much better than me, a person with edema in his hands and feet, who had gained a lot of weight.

I lowered my head again, a little afraid to look directly, but my mouth was a little unwilling, "What's so funny?

"If I didn't know your information, I might think that Miss Gu is a student who hasn't left college yet? Of course, this doesn't refer to age, but to state of mind. It's been a long time since I've met someone who would treat love as the whole of life. Miss Gu, in your life, is there anything else besides love?"

I felt like they were laughing at me, but I couldn't argue with it. Unsatisfactory at work and self-deception in life have made me seem to be accustomed to this kind of soul like a walking corpse, and talking about dreams is too luxurious.

"I might ask you that, and you will feel abrupt. However, I still think that this is necessary, have you ever known Pei Shaobei? Do you think that in his life, apart from love, what else is there?"

I was stunned, and I didn't know how to answer for a moment.

"Love is a very small part of his life. He has his dreams, he has the responsibilities that his Pei family and grandchildren should bear, what kind of support he needs in his life circle, what kind of life orientation he needs, have you considered it? Maybe these are too far away from you, but he is Pei Shaobei, he was born there, he lives there, like fish and water, he can't do without it, and he can't escape it! This is very tragic, but there is nothing to be done!"

I was speechless, she never took a sip of the coffee in the store, although this cup of coffee was worth my day's salary, but it was still cheap, I could see that she was sitting here, and the luxurious decorations around her felt so ordinary, some people, born to seem to be standing at the pinnacle of life, did not need to deliberately express, but it was enough to make people sigh to themselves, ashamed to take off their armor and run away.

I drank the juice clean, looked at the empty opposite, and imagined what she and Pei Shaobei looked like when they were together, what kind of banquet she attended, what kind of clothes she worn, and what kind of words she said, I ate and laughed, like a madman.

For the first time, I collected Pei Shaobei's information, and for the first time I paid attention to his gossip and gossip, I watched him be confident and calm in the spotlight, watched him talk freely, and watched the women who appeared around him from time to time, noble, enchanting, everything.

When Pei Shaobei came back, it was more than seven o'clock in the evening, and I made a table full of dishes and waited at the door.

Pei Shaobei was surprised by my performance, but the surprise in his eyes was so obvious.

"What's wrong, you're in a good mood today?" Pei Shaobei hugged me, his hand on his stomach, and he couldn't gather anymore. I glanced down and chuckled back, "yes, glad that!"

"It's good to be happy, pregnant women just have to keep a good mood, otherwise the child will grow unhealthy!" Pei Shaobei pulled me into the restaurant, and the meal was warm. After cleaning up and taking a shower, I walked in when he just turned on the faucet, my face flushed, "I'll wash with you, I'm tired, can you help me?"

Pei Shaobei chuckled and deliberately complained, "Gu Wan, aren't you torturing me? just let me see and not let me eat, I'm a normal man!"

Since the last time I went to the hospital because of the intense sexual trouble, there has never been a relationship between the two of us, every time I take the initiative in bed, I will be stopped by Pei Shaobei, sometimes, I already feel that the bath is provoked, but he chooses to take a cold shower. Later, I found that there were always a few times a week, and when he came back, he had the scent of shower gel on his body, which was very strange and uncomfortable.

I didn't dare to ask him, for fear that some of the truth would be beyond my reach.

Pei Shaobei was very gentle, but I had a heart, and after he stripped me naked, I hugged him, kissed him a little excitedly, and said, "Pei Shaobei, I want you, don't push me away, okay?"

With pleading and trembling, Pei Shaobei's hand on my shoulder froze slightly, and he didn't exert any more force.

My kiss slid from the corners of my mouth to my collarbone, tiptoeing, hard and stubborn all the way down.

Pei Shaobei wanted to pull me up, but was stopped by my eyes.

I like the feeling that I am needed, that I am desired, that even if I am humble, even if I am not a good match, I still can't let go.

I like this, as if I went back to when Pei Shaobei and I first met, he was never irresistible to me.

Pei Shaobei carefully pulled me up and kissed me with hot lips.

"Late, okay?"

Pei Shaobei asked, trembling and eager.

My tears fell instantly, but I held back and replied softly, "Pei Shaobei, I miss you!"

……

I fell asleep in Pei Shaobei's arms, as if I heard him say something in my ear, which made my originally peaceful dream tangled, I wanted to refuse, but I was powerless to give up.

When I got up the next day, Pei Shaobei made a simple breakfast, accompanied me to eat and sent me to school, when he got off the bus, he said to me, "Evening, evening, I'll take you out to eat, wait for me!"

I nodded, not taking it too seriously. In the past two months, Pei Shaobei was worried that I was working hard to cook, and often took me out to eat, he chose a clean and hygienic place, and I was only responsible for eating.

I once wanted to ask him why the place he chose was either remote or extremely ordinary, but later I realized that it was because Pei Shaobei didn't want me to appear under other people's cameras. Whether it's protection or concealment, I didn't think to question and entangle when I knew about it, because I found that I couldn't believe the so-called explanation.

"Gu Wan!"

When I walked to the door, I heard him call me, I looked back at him in surprise, under the sun, Pei Shaobei sat in the car, his eyebrows were clear, gentle and beautiful.

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