Facing Ma Yike's big round eyes, I didn't know what to say for a while, hugged her, my heart beat faster for a long time, and finally only squeezed out this sentence.

That's kind of ...... Is it the first time I've confessed to a girl?

Maybe.

Three years ago, I lost a love that may be with me for the rest of my life.

This time, I couldn't let go of it anymore.

At this moment, I forgot Jiaqi, I forgot my father, I forgot my past, I forgot all my past thoughts, which were either evil or dirty.

I just looked at Ma Yike, at her glowing red face, at her starry eyes.

And my hands also unconsciously hugged Ma Yike tighter.

Speaking of which, this is the first time I've hugged a girl other than Jiaqi.

If I wasn't nervous, it wouldn't have been possible, but now that I've made this step, I don't have a way back.

I can only do it.

At that moment, my heart was beating faster than ever.

The feeling of high tension in the whole body was like the feeling when I first picked up Jiaqi in the alley.

Ma Yike stared at me blankly, pursed his lips tightly, staring at me nervously and in fear.

What would Ma Yike say to me?

Reject me?

But why did she reject me?

In the past six months, although I have never officially established any relationship with her, it can even be said that the only contact between me and her is Jiaqi. But, no matter what, she and I just have a good relationship, living together, living together, entertaining together, and going out to play with Jiaqi. Even passers-by thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend or a young couple.

In a sense, the relationship between me and Ma Yike has long been vaguely biased towards the most normal primitive relationship between men and women.

Looking at Ma Yike's expression, I used my hands slightly, but Shang himself was closer to her face, at this moment, not to mention Ma Yike's nervous expression, in fact, my heart was also nervous.

I've never officially pursued any girls, and I've never been in a relationship before, but tonight I did something that only I would do when I used to care about lewdness, which really made me feel like I was in a dream.

But the real panic and confusion on Ma Yike's face really told me.

All this is true.

I'm really holding Ma Yike, and our bodies are getting closer.

At this time, Ma Yike's upper body had just turned from the posture of lying in front of the computer desk, it can be said that CITIC was not stable, and I hugged him from the diagonal back, and Ma Yike was stiff and maintained a tilted state for a while, and he couldn't move.

It can be said that at this moment, no matter what I do, Ma Yike has no chance to resist.

She's in my control.

At that time, I also felt that my head was hot, and a certain group of nerves in my brain was constantly congested, shrinking one by one, and moving violently.

I think every man who has ever had this experience that when you're about to do something to a woman, your brain is in a state of extreme excitement and even self-loss.

In that state, his body is like a rampaging beast that is difficult to control, although there is still some reason in the brain, but if you are not careful, it is very likely to lose control and do something out of the ordinary.

At that moment, I was in such a state.

I just hugged Ma Yike, from the side behind.

And I and her body got closer and closer, until the last moment, I felt my lower body completely attached to Maik's side buttocks.

A piece of elastic and delicate skin that clings to my part like that.

I could still smell the faint scent of Mayik. Ma Yike seemed to have just washed his hair, and some of his oily black medium and long hair was covered by the fragrance of shampoo.

At that moment, I felt an unprecedented excitement all over my body, and the yurt below was so swollen that it almost broke through the shackles and rushed out.

"Xiaodong...... Yang Jiandong...... You—don't ...... like that!"

At the moment when I was most excited, Ma Yike suddenly shouted, and she looked at me with an expression of horror that she had never seen before.

I will never forget the look on her face, that look, the horror, the disappointment, and the ...... A hint of helplessness.

Then she suddenly grabbed my hands around her waist with both hands, and tried to break free like crazy.

Ma Yike's sudden outburst made me feel like I was pouring cold water on my whole body, and it was like falling into an ice cellar.

I'm not someone who hasn't seen a film.

I've loved sexual fantasies since I was a child, and there are definitely not a few movies I watch.

In those films, I have seen many men in island countries commit violence against women, regardless of the feelings of the women.

And the woman will basically go from fierce resistance at the beginning to helpless acceptance and catering in the end.

Although I know that many of those plots are acted out and not real. But in my heart, most of the time I still expect that to happen. And think that those are true.

And at this moment, I realized that the world was much more complicated than I imagined. There are a lot of things that you feel easy to do before, and that's the same thing, until you do it yourself, only to find that you can't do it at all.

Listening to Ma Yike's shout, my hand suddenly stopped, and the strength in my hand slackened a little.

I stared blankly at Ma Yike, looking at the way she looked at me like a stranger, and my heart fluttered.

Me, should I let go?

If I don't let go, what will happen to Maiko?

Or rather, what can she?

This is my house, and no one will come except me, Ma Yike, and Jiaqi, who has long been asleep.

Ma Yike is also a weak girl, although she is more than a year older than me in the grade, but in terms of strength, she is not able to compete with me at all.

What's more, financially, she is still my hired maid and depends on me.

All along, Maiko lived in my house, ate me, used me, and in a way, without me, her life would be unsustainable.

What's more, in terms of relationship, Ma Yike and I are already relatively close, even if I really do something at the moment, with Ma Yike's character, will she expose me?

At that moment, I thought so much, and maybe I didn't think about it at all, because soon, under Ma Yike's struggle, my hands hugged her tighter, and even though she helplessly tried to grab my hand away, I still didn't let go in the slightest.

"Ma Yike...... Listen to me. As long as you are willing to stay with me, I guarantee that you will have no worries about food and clothing in the future...... You know, I have a lot of money and I can support you for the rest of my life. ”

I don't know why, what I thought at the time, in the face of Ma Yike's resistance, I said this, and hugged Ma Yike tighter, and the lower body was getting closer and closer.

Hearing my words and seeing my actions, Ma Yike was also stunned for a moment, looking at me with red cheeks that could drip blood, but he was only stunned for a moment, and Ma Yike's resistance became more intense.

"I'm sorry, you let me go, Yang Jiandong...... Don't hold on to me anymore!"

Ma Yike almost went crazy with crying and pushed me away with the last strength of his body, his body turned sideways and stretched out his feet as if he ran away, but because I was still holding her at that time, Ma Yike just ran halfway because I was still holding her hand and my center of gravity was unstable, and I hit my knee on the edge of the bed in front of the computer desk impartially, and then I pulled it again, and the whole person fell on the bed on his back, only his legs were still swinging under the bed.

The sequence of scenes that took place in that short moment was even more dramatic than the plot of the most old-fashioned drama.

Seeing Ma Yike lying on the bed weakly, I was also stunned for a moment, because the series of actions just now seemed to be deliberately done by me. Including pulling her back, including letting her lie down on the bed with her hair scattered. If an outsider is present, the first instinct is what I did to Ma Yike.

Even at that moment, I was a little uneasy, stupidly watching Ma Yike fall on the bed, and it felt like I had hurt Ma Yike, and I had bullied her.

I stared at Ma Yi Ke blankly, and Ma Yi Ke looked at me blankly.

After that, I saw that Ma Yike's eyes were red.

The expression is painful.

She's crying.

It was the first time I had actually seen Maiko cry.

Seeing Ma Yike's expression, my whole body really sobered up, and my heart really became panicked, I never thought that my impulsive action would cause such a violent reaction from Ma Yike.

Angry, scared, or desperate.

I don't know what kind of mood Ma Yike's painful and sad expression reflected in her at the moment, but I felt a deep sense of guilt.

This time, I really overdid it.

Ma and I looked at each other for about five full seconds before I stepped forward apologetically and reached out to pull Ma off the bed.

"Uh, Mayike...... I'm embarrassed...... "I kindly reached out to make up for the crazy action just now, it wasn't timely, but at least it wasn't too late.

But Mayike's actions were beyond my expectations.

As I stepped forward, Ma Yike jumped out of bed vigilantly, and then his slender body slipped in front of me like a tail swimming fish, and when I turned my head, Ma Yike had already fled to the door of my room, unscrewing the doorknob with one hand, his eyes were red, and his face was sideways, looking at me indifferently with an almost desperate look.

"Yang Jiandong, you shouldn't be like this...... I really didn't expect you to do this to me. You and me...... I just want to help you......"

Yang Jiandong. Ma Yike calls me Yang Jiandong.

In the past, Ma Yike called me Xiaodong, but tonight, she called me Yang Jiandong.

"Ma Yike, I'm really sorry, I was just a little ...... just now"

What's a little bit?

A little excited, a little out of control, a little lost in self?

I was speechless for a moment.

It's all done, and I'm at a loss for words.

But before I could say something, Majko pulled open the doorknob and stepped out of the bedroom door with one foot.

"Ma Yike, wait a minute, I was really wrong, I won't do this again in the future! You stabilize your emotions first!" Seeing that Ma Yike was about to go away, I wanted to step forward, but Ma Yike was one step faster.

"Yang Jiandong," Ma Yike's eyes were red, with crystal tears, "do you know...... It's not love. ”

Ma Yike left me with these words, and heartbroken closed the door to my bedroom.

Leave me hollow.