Looking at the old house that is even more empty than my villa, my heart is even more desolate.

After opening the second room in the right hallway, the living room door, I took Jiaqi to settle in there first.

The living room is not big, but it is also spacious because there is no furniture except for a sofa, a table of eight immortals, and a long table with an old TV.

Although the old house has not been inhabited for a long time, it has not yet become moldy because of the village cleaner hired by my aunt every month.

"Kiki, on the left couch. ”

"Oh. After giving me the plastic bag in her hand, Jiaqi listened to me and sat down quietly on the sofa, looking left and right. The little nose inhaled vigorously, not knowing what she was smelling.

Seeing Jiaqi's innocent and a little silly cuteness, I couldn't tell the itch in my heart.

I pulled the table to the middle of the living room, then opened the plastic wrapper and took out roast duck, tea eggs, beer, and fried noodles from it, which I bought on the way.

Seeing that I had brought out something delicious, Jiaqi's eyes immediately lit up and she screamed.

"Papa, I'm going to eat roast duck!"

"Kiki, don't rush. You have to worship your ancestors before you can eat it. I stopped Jiaqi's excited screams, and then took out the coin and incense from the other bag.

I first asked Jiaqi to wait in the living room, then went to the kitchen to wash some dishes with well water, and then put all the cooked vegetables I bought on the plates and put them on the table of the Eight Immortals.

After that, I lit the coins and incense, as all traditional Chinese families do during the Qingming Festival. Seeing the dead coins burning on the ground, Jiaqi asked me strangely, "PPA, why did you burn the banknotes?"

"These are not banknotes, they are dead money, they are for the dead. When the coins are burned, they will go to the world of the dead, so that they will have money to spend in the other world. It's like I give you money every day. ”

"Oh. So PAPA is to burn money for PAPA's PAPA?"

"Not exactly, because there is also Papa's grandfather, Papa's grandmother. ”

"Oh. That...... Papa's mother, too?" asked Jiaqi casually.

Hearing Jiaqi ask this, I was stunned for a moment.

My mom?

I hadn't seen my mom for more than a decade, and I hadn't heard anything about her for more than a decade, not even if she was dead or alive.

It's just that in my heart, I always believe that she is still alive. Maybe one day, I'll see her again. Although that probability is almost zero.

It's been so many years, it's impossible for her and I to recognize each other.

"Of course not, Papa's mom is still there, fool. I knocked Jiaqi on the head, and Jiaqi squinted her eyes and covered the place where I had been beaten.

"Then why have I never met Papa's mother...... And my mother?"

When Jiaqi asked me, her big eyes stared at me without blinking, as if this question had been in her heart for a long time, but all this time, she had not found a chance to ask me.

Finally asked the question.

Looking at Jiaqi's expectant and somewhat sad eyes, my heart became extremely heavy.

It's not the first time that Jiaqi has answered me, but since Jiaqi was young when she asked me this question before, I could fool her and convince her. But now that Jiaqi is in elementary school, she is no longer the completely ignorant little girl she was at the beginning. How can Jiaqi, who is used to seeing every child in the school have a perfect family, not to doubt and not to doubt?

I had long expected that one day Gaki would ask me that question again.

I had expected it, but I hadn't figured out how to answer her.

She's grown up, and the lies I told her that her mother had gone far away and would have to wait a long time to come back couldn't have lied to her anymore.

Looking at Jiaqi's innocent eyes, I suddenly felt the urge to avoid it. These clear eyes, which I have been looking at for 8 years, make me afraid to look directly at this moment.

I don't want to tell Jiaqi that I picked her up, and if I tell her the truth, I can't imagine what kind of shadow she will leave in her heart when she knows the truth.

Or should I lie and lie to her that I was born to the same mother as her, and that I am her own brother?

First of all, I don't want to admit it. Although I don't know if I can be with Jiaqi forever, I still don't want to lock my relationship with her with the shackles of family affection like brother and sister. If I told her that I was brother and sister to her, I was afraid that I would not be able to develop a relationship further because of blood relationship, and although I knew it would be the best for Jiaqi, I still didn't want to do that.

At the end of the day, I still have a glimmer of hope.

I hope that one day, I will walk into the wedding hall with Jiaqi.

Although, perhaps, that was just my own unrealistic reverie.

Tell Jiaqi that I'm her real father?

That's not possible, although Jiaqi didn't say it all these years, and called me papa sweetly, she also felt that I was definitely not her real father. Although children are not sensible, they also know to observe and compare. Seeing the parents of other children of the same age, who are generally nearly ten years older than me, plus some details of her daily life, it is impossible for her not to doubt.

Although she didn't say it, Jiaqi still knew that I was just her father on the surface.

And at this moment, Jiaqi finally found an opportunity to ask me questions about her background.

Of course, maybe I can find an excuse to continue fooling Jiaqi. But what about in the future? When Jiaqi grows up, do I have to continue to lie to her and hide her?

That's absolutely impossible. Jiaqi is so smart and icy, she will always know the truth.

Looking at Jiaqi's big black and shiny eyes, I struggled and struggled for a long time.

Maybe it was because my face was not very good-looking, and Jiaqi finally didn't dare to look at me directly, but lowered her little head and played with her fingers, looking at the dusty floor and not daring to look at me.

"Kiki, Papa told you. "It hurts a little to see Jiaqi's evasive gaze, but in the end I make up my mind. I approached Jiaqi, then grabbed her round and soft little fragrant shoulder, and looked at her with the most serious eyes.

"Kiki, Papa told you, your mother...... Your mom is dead. Kiki died when you were very young. ”

It's still a lie, but I want to cut off Jiaqi's expectations of her mom once and for all. It's cruel, but it's a helpless step.

I said this to Jiaqi almost with the greatest courage in my life, and in a very serious tone, and I hope that Jiaqi will always remember what I said to her today.

Hearing my words, Jiaqi still had her head down, her long black hair hanging down, and her flush bangs blocked her little face, and I couldn't see her face clearly. I don't know what her expression is.

"Kiki, Kiki?" I bit my lip and shook Jiaqi's shoulder, but Jiaqi's tiny body didn't move as if it was stiff.

Even though my body was shaking by me, Jiaqi didn't make a sound.

After a few seconds, Jiaqi seemed to be greatly stimulated, and her little delicate body began to tremble, and then, she finally raised her head, revealing a pale little face full of tears.

Jiaqi's eyes were already red from crying.

Jiaqi suddenly cried like crazy, and slapped my arm desperately with her little hands, although the strength was not great, but it still made my heart ache.

"Papa, you're lying...... Papa, you're lying! You also said that your mother would come home...... You've said that...... You said mom was waiting for me...... Wow woo woo woo ...... Papa...... "Jiaqi cried heartbreakingly.

I didn't expect Jiaqi's reaction to find out so violently, which was much more than I expected.

I hurriedly hugged Jiaqi tightly with my arms, holding her soft and delicate body tightly in my arms, so as not to let her struggle anymore.

I know that this is probably one of the most difficult moments in Jiaqi's life, and I must let her survive without taking a wrong step, otherwise Jiaqi's life may be ruined.

"Kiki, don't cry...... Papa will always be there for you, oh, Papa is not going anywhere, Papa is always with you, okay. I comforted Jiaqi, but Jiaqi kept sobbing, her little body trembling, and no matter what I said, her crying did not stop.

I regretted what I said, but I couldn't take it back after the words had been spoken, and I could only keep saying good things, soothing Jiaqi's young and fragile heart as before.

“papa…… Woowoo...... I miss my mom so much...... Everybody has a mother...... I didn't ......" Jiaqi cried in my arms, coquettish.

I touched Jiaqi's hair, feeling her silky black hair through my fingers, but I couldn't open it for a while.

"Kiki, and Papa. And papa. Oh. That's all I can do to comfort her.

Jiaqi's big eyes were red and swollen from crying, tears were rolling down her little face, and my arm was slapping to the ground in pain.

But in the end, Jiaqi's emotions gradually calmed down.

It's like no matter how terrible the storm is, there will always be a moment when it will stop.

After almost ten minutes of crying, Jiaqi gradually stopped crying and turned into low sobs.

When I was crying, Jiaqi still looked at me with red eyes, pouting her little mouth, but not saying a word.

Seeing Jiaqi's tearful appearance, my heart hurt even more, I took out the tissue in my pocket, silently wiped the tears on Jiaqi's face, and then looked at Jiaqi's bright and transparent eyes.

"Kiki, do you like Papa?"

I asked as I wiped the tears from Jiaqi's face.

Jiaqi just stared at me blankly, her eyes red, and a low sobbing sound coming out of her nose.

I asked her again, my voice calm.

"Still crying, Kiki, do you hate Papa?"

Jiaqi looked at me, her red eyes lowered slightly, her little mouth pursed, still sobbing, and there was even a drop of snot on her little nose.

Jiaqi didn't say anything.

"Kiki, do you still want to be with Papa?"

Jiaqi looked up at me, still silent.

"Nakiki...... If Papa is gone, will you miss Mom, or will you miss Papa?"

I asked Kiki at the end.

It's my killer feature.

Jiaqi looked at me, still speaking silently, as if she was stunned by my question.

Kiki didn't speak, and Papa left, leaving Kiki alone. With that, I stood up, looked at Jiaqi condescendingly, and then slowly stepped back step by step, and finally turned around.

I know this is a critical moment. If Jiaqi doesn't make a choice, then she will never be able to get out of this shadow.

I had only taken two steps before Jiaqi suddenly jumped off the couch crying and rushed over and hugged my thigh.

"Papa, papa, don't go!" Woo woo woo ......" Jiaqi clutched at my jeans, biting her white teeth and crying.

Seeing Jiaqi clutching my thigh, my nose was also a little sore.

I crouched down and pulled Jia Qi over, looking into her eyes and her red face from crying.

"Doesn't Kiki dislike Papa?"

"No...... Kiki loves papa...... Kiki wants to be with Papa...... Papa, don't go......" Jiaqi couldn't cry anymore, and her eyes couldn't be opened from crying.

That's what I've been waiting for.

As long as I say this, I will be able to smooth down Jiaqi.

Listening to Jiaqi's words, I stretched out my hands and hugged her small delicate body.

"Papa won't leave, Papa will never leave Kiki, Papa will always be by Kiki's side, with Jiaqi. ”

I hugged Jiaqi with relief, just as Jiaqi hugged me tightly.

I knew that as long as Jiaqi could know how important I was to her and that she really cared about me, she would no longer miss her mother.

Of course, as a price, I also have to pay her wholeheartedly, so that she can never leave me and forget her sad life.

When I picked her up 8 years ago, I had already decided on such a fate. Jiaqi's life is destined to be bumpy, and I am destined to be very tired and tired because of her.

It's finally settled Jiaqi.

When I sat on the couch tiredly, Jiaqi no longer cried, but snuggled up in my arms, leaning on me, silent.

I gently slapped her on the back to soothe her.

The dimly lit hall was quiet, except for the sound of me and Jiaqi breathing.

After a while, I heard the sound of rain outside the house getting more and more intense, and the cold wind blowing in through the cracks in the old window made me feel a little more energetic, and I knew that it was getting heavier and heavier outside.

"Kiki, are you hungry? Let's have some incense and worship, and then let's eat. "Listening to the rustle of rain in the grass in the darkness outside the house, I still broke the peace.

Jiaqi's mood has gradually stabilized, and although I don't know what shadows she will have in her heart in the future, at least she is still a lot calmer now. After all, she has been used to living a life of only me for 8 years, and even if I tell her that her mother has passed away, she will only be sad for a while at most, and her life will not change much.

"Hmm-"

Jiaqi gave a long answer, pouting, but there was no expression on her face. I asked Jiaqi to get off my thigh, and then I took out three sticks of incense from the plastic bag on the floor, lit them with a lighter, and the smell of candle smoke suddenly filled the living room.

"Kiki, look at Papa. I took three lit incense sticks, "Kiki, you will come and worship like Papa later, and when you worship, you should think of the people you miss Kiki, and then wish them the best in the other world." Finally, you have to make some wishes in your heart, you can make any wishes, such as improving your academic performance in the future, you can grow more and more beautiful, and you can be healthy and healthy. ”

Jiaqi looked at me intently, just blinked his eyes and thought about it, but did not speak, under Jiaqi's gaze, I turned around, bent down, and bowed three times to the table of eight immortals.

After the worship, I called Jiaqi and asked her to stand in front of the table of the Eight Immortals and hold the incense in my way.

"Papa, the incense smells good. Holding the incense in her hand, Jiaqi suddenly said this.

"Well, hurry up and say goodbye. I urged.

Jiaqi looked at the incense in her hand, careful not to let the hot ash drip down, and then bowed at the table as I did.

Cigarettes curled up, the huts were dim, the lights flickered, and everything was silent.

Only the wind and rain outside the house.

After worshipping for a long time, Jiaqi raised her head and looked at me in a daze.

“papa…… How many times do you want to bow down?"

"Already, Kiki, give me the incense. Jiaqi handed me the incense, then stood aside and glanced at the roast duck on the table a few more times.

"Kiki, did you tell your grandparents in your heart that you want them to do well over there?"

"Well, that's it, papa. ”

"What did you say?"

I said...... Papa's Papa, his grandparents, and my mom all have to be happy in another world. "Hearing that Jiaqi believed my words and blessed her mother, whose life and death were uncertain, I felt a little sad in my heart, but I didn't show it.

"Well, Kiki is really sensible, so what did you make just now?"

"I, I'm ......" Jiaqi retracted her gaze, looked at me, and said, "I want Papa to be healthy, I can also be healthy, I can score 100 points in the exam, and then ......"

"And then what?"

And then ...... I...... I want to be with Papa and be happy every day, and Papa doesn't want to leave Kiki anymore. ”