It's not that I don't want to accept this reality, but I can't digest it all at once.

When I first saw that my birth certificate was included in the information left by my uncle, I was suspicious, but I never thought that I was not my aunt's biological child. I have always believed that my parents are so unbearable, and my life should be so bumpy.

That night I dreamed of my short 24-year life all over again, I dreamed of secretly swallowing saliva when I watched other children eat snacks when I was a child, I dreamed of being laughed at by my classmates for wearing ill-fitting clothes at the age of the beginning of love, I dreamed of my uncle's beating and scolding of me, and I dreamed of the desperate collapse of my grandmother when she was sick.

I woke up several times in the middle of the night, and my uncle's memory of whipping me with a feather duster was too deep, and every time I woke up, I curled up and covered my head, and the fear in my heart was like reliving the pain of my childhood.

If I hadn't met Zhuang Yan, I would have continued to live that kind of inferiority complex after surrogacy, and it would have been like that for the rest of my life. The so-called true life experience will always be buried in the memory of those in the know, and I will use Shen Xi's identity to live this life sadly.

When you have given a reasonable explanation for your sad life, when you have accepted all the trials that life has given you, and finally relied on the humble hope in your heart to come to the bitter end, in the end you suddenly found that that identity does not belong to you, but a life that does not belong to you.

That feeling was very devastating, and I would have a strange feeling when I burned paper money for my grandmother in the future.

Zhuang Yan barely slept that night, and every time I shrank to the edge of the bed, he would wake up and scoop me into his arms. He said that when I had nightmares, I said a lot of nonsense in my dreams, and it made him worry about it.

I can now understand why he hid it from me before, this kind of thing is not something that can be thought of with a few words of comfort. I can forget about the past and live a good life, but I need time to digest it.

If I had known about this when I was pregnant or confined, it would have hurt my body.

After the dream that night, I began to have confusion about my identity, I watched "Shen Xi", who looked exactly like me, being beaten and scolded, but I didn't feel anything, but my whole heart seemed to be falling into a bottomless abyss, and that feeling was really uncomfortable.

When I woke up, I had a splitting headache, my throat was dry and hoarse, and my nose was stuffy, and I caught a cold after tossing all night.

Zhuang Yan looked distressed, and after remotely controlling the work arrangement for the last day on the phone, he directly gave himself an early vacation. It happened to be my birthday, but it turned out to be spent in injections and pills.

Zhuang Yan saw that I was always in a trance, and after leaving Kang Kang to Aunt Fang and Sister-in-law, he concentrated on accompanying me: "Xixi, don't be like this, just ask if you have anything you want to ask." If you don't associate with them in the future, the past will be gone, and you don't need to pay attention to it anymore. ”

"I know, but if I'm not Shen Xi, then who am I?" I feel weird when I hear him call me Xi Xi now, after all, the name Shen Xi shouldn't belong to me.

Zhuang Yan understands me, he understands what I mean: "The name is just a code name, no matter what your name is, it is my wife, and it is Le Le Kangkang's mother." I know you can't react to this all at once, but since you want to know, you know. I mean, since your parents lost you in the first place, there's no need for you to have any more contact. ”

I couldn't listen to him, stared at him sluggishly, and asked word by word: "How can you say that my aunt and uncle don't know about this? They don't even know that I am not my own? Where is Shen Xi, and I haven't seen her go back to find my aunt and uncle." ”

He looked at me in a daze, his eyes were full of helplessness, and gently rubbed me into his arms: "Your aunt and uncle...... If you don't care too much, they may lose their children without even taking a good look at them. You have lived with your uncle and husband for so many years, and some of your demeanor and demeanor will become similar, which is the same as what everyone often calls husband and wife. Xixi, this name was given to you by your grandmother, and in the eyes of the old man, you are her granddaughter. For the sake of the elderly, don't worry about it anymore. ”

I said that my aunt is also big-eyed, but otherwise, maybe everyone will really suspect that my aunt stole someone other than my uncle's husband.

After dinner, the people in the village would only talk about how my aunt was forced by my uncle, and then sympathize with me, but no one really suspects that I am not their own child. This may have something to do with the fact that I was skinny when I was a child, when I loved to keep my head down and no one was interested in talking about my looks.

The next day, our family rushed to my sister-in-law's house, and on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, all my grandmother's children gathered at my sister-in-law's house except Uncle Zhuang. Because everyone thinks that grandma is old, and there is one year less than one year, so the festive day of the New Year has been said to accompany the elderly.

This is the first time I have seen so many elders in their family since I married Zhuang Yan, and some relatives don't even know that Zhuang Yan has remarried. After all, he is a person who doesn't even update his circle of friends, and the photos he sent on his wedding anniversary with Zhao Yaru were also asked by Zhao Yaru to be sent by him.

My grandmother took the lead in giving me a big red envelope, and Lele Kangkang also had a share.

Our family came for the Chinese New Year, and as a result, one of Zhuang Yan's uncles and two aunts gave us three red envelopes each, which made me overwhelmed the whole time, because I had never been treated so well.

Every time I refused, my grandmother deliberately expressed her displeasure with a tiger face: "Oh, the new daughter-in-law has to give it, and now it's the New Year, so don't accept it." ”

The children of my uncles and aunts are almost older than me, but they all call my sister-in-law in front of me, and my face is feverish all night, so that Zhuang Yan has been wondering if I am really uncomfortable, and after a while, he touches my forehead and asks me if I have a headache.

However, Zhuang Yan's cousins and cousins all love to coax, and they are envious and jealous at every turn, saying that Zhuang Yan is very powerful, and he actually married a sister-in-law who has been so old.

I was embarrassed to cover my mouth and smile, but when I got acquainted with it, I grinned directly, and my face froze at the end. I swear, in my twenty-four years of life, I have never smiled so much one day, even I feel as bright as a flower, no wonder Zhuang Yan always tilts his head to look at me from time to time.

After nightfall, he wanted to take me and Lele out to set off fireworks, but one of his cousins pulled him to play cards: "Fireworks are played by children, and it is rare for our brothers to get together, so we must stay up all night at night! ”

I was already going to hold Lele's hand, but after listening to his words, I immediately felt a little unhappy. Is this to assign me to the children's column? Mingming keeps calling me sister-in-law.

Zhuang Yan's eyebrows were full of smiles, and any small actions I made were seen by him. When everyone took the cards and said that they would win or lose, Zhuang Yan ignored their shouting and walked over to me and hugged me: "What's the matter, are you unhappy?"

I wrinkled my nose and muttered, "They treat me like a child." ”

Zhuang Yan came back to his senses and played my head with a smile: "I just graduated for half a year, and I am indeed a child." Even if they treat you like a child, they still have to call you sister-in-law. Where they say something wrong, even if the number falls, I will support you. ”

The loss and chaos brought to me by my life experience a few days ago seemed to be washed away in a festive atmosphere. He simply said "I'll support you", and it made my heart beat chaotically and chaotically, and the sweet taste seemed to return to the feeling when I was with him when I first got it, which was particularly strong.

"Brother, hurry up, who will you show the greasy and crooked?" Some of the younger brothers were not married, and when they saw us hugging each other, they immediately gritted their teeth and came over to pull people, and also looked at me and told me to hurry up and set off fireworks, "Sister-in-law will give my brother to us for one night, okay?"

My face was even hotter, and I just nodded and wanted to go out to find Lele and them, but Zhuang Yan grabbed my arm and pulled it hard, causing me to crash directly into his arms. When I looked up in surprise, he bowed his head and pecked me on the lips in front of his younger brothers: "Bring your phone, don't get lost later." ”

"Huh!" the cousin of La Zhuangyan shook twice exaggeratedly, like goosebumps numbed by meat, "Is it enough!"

I glanced at them hurriedly, and quickly chased them out.

When he arrived at the small square, Lele was dancing with a fireworks stick in his hand.

There were a lot of people in the small square, and when I squeezed over, I heard a cousin-in-law asking about Zhao Yaru: "Women still have to have children after all, I think how rich my uncle was, I don't say it, I am still anxious in my heart, poor Yaru, I heard that she is with that doctor now?"

Women love to gossip together, but hearing them talk about it makes me hesitate.

Another cousin's daughter-in-law hurriedly answered: "It seems that it is, I don't know what's going on in their family, I heard that it's gone? Why have the two old men entered the bureau? Tsk, anyway, I see that my cousin is very happy now, don't I see him laughing more than in previous years? I remember that when I first got married, I said in private that my cousin was going to leave my sister-in-law, and I was not happy when I looked at it." ”

The cousin-in-law just now immediately agreed: "That's right." But you see how tender the little cousin is now, which man doesn't like this kind of little girl. Oh, what do you say, isn't my little cousin a bit of a broom star, why did she get married, and my cousin's family ended up like that? I used to live in a villa and drive a car so rich, I really didn't expect it......"

"What are the two sisters-in-law talking about? Zhuang Xiaoting didn't know when she squeezed over from another place, and interrupted them with a smile, and they immediately changed the topic naturally.

I wanted to pretend that I had just arrived, and when I wanted to play with her with fireworks by Lele's side, someone suddenly tapped me on the shoulder from behind.

Looking back, I frowned slowly, "Why are you here?"