I looked at the half of Yang Zhihe's face that I had hit, and suddenly laughed. Yang Zhihe saw me laughing, and he didn't know why, so he asked: "What are you laughing at, why don't you go back and float some anti-inflammatory drugs quickly, or it will be swollen tomorrow." ”

"Don't laugh, make me cry!" I replied directly.

"Then you can keep laughing! I should go back to writing novels. Yang Zhihe turned around and prepared to leave.

I looked at him and said, "Are you in such a hurry to go back and write your novel?"

Yang Zhihe nodded. I looked at him and asked, "Is it for Gao Hui?"

Yang Zhihe replied bluntly: "Knowingly asking, okay, let's not talk about it, Gao Hui will sit in front of the computer every night and wait for me to update the novel." I won't talk to you more, as for the things that you are unhappy about today, I will talk about it when I have time another day, okay bye!"

After Yang Zhihe said this, he turned around and walked in the direction of going back, I looked at his back as he gradually moved away, and I had an indescribable mood, at least he still had a goal, a direction, and knew what to insist on, and what I insisted on! Thinking of this, my mood began to be inexplicably sad again, I habitually put my hand in my pocket and fumbled for the cigarette, fumbling for a while, but I didn't even touch the cigarette case, and then I remembered that the cigarette had already been sucked by myself.

I don't know when smoke has become an indispensable companion in my life, and I think of it whenever I feel upset. Now that there is no smoke, I feel like I can't even release the irritability in my heart. I started fidgeting.

So he stood up and walked in the direction of going back, and after walking for a while, he saw a small shop. I walked in, bought a pack of Baisha brand cigarettes, then quickly opened it, took out one and lit it, and took a deep breath.

This long-lost feeling instantly permeated my body. I felt a lot more relaxed, so I took another puff and it felt refreshed.

At this moment, a man and a woman held hands and passed by me, and I looked at their sweet expressions, and suddenly felt that I was swallowed up by the loneliness again. My heart felt very cold, and I remembered that two years ago, I was not so sweet, holding hands with Zhang Qian and walking on the boulevard of the campus. But now, I can only fill the emptiness in my heart with memories. I said to myself, "Time has passed, the past is gone, stop thinking about the past that makes me sadder."

But even though I told myself, those past events still reappeared in my brain wave after wave like a river that broke the embankment.

I suddenly felt as if I was very stupid and sad, and I don't know when I became so cautious that I would be jealous of the simple hand-holding between couples.

But who knows that people who have been lonely for too long will be like this、、、、、、

I walked in a scattered stride, walking on the streets that no one was paying attention to, looking blankly at the people who came and went in the streets and alleys, and I wondered why they came to this strange city, and why they were busy in this city.

When I think of this, I feel like I'm stupid, too stupid to describe in words. They must be fighting for that bright future. And what am I for? Love, or career, or unattainable power.

Maybe it's not, because love is too far away from me, and in terms of luxury, it's not too much at all, it's like it's around me, but it never understands the pain and hurt in my heart.

Then it's a career, what a ridiculous question, coming to Suzhou for two years, doing nothing, living over and over again

Every day repeatedly, I don't know why I'm working for the exploiters.

Then it's right, it's ridiculous! When I think about this, I feel ashamed of myself, and I want to dig 7 feet into the ground and bury myself.

Love, career, and power are not, so why do I insist on staying in Suzhou? I am asking myself.

Then say to yourself: maybe it's to escape. Escape the sweet past, escape the pale memory, escape the Zhang Qian who can never be erased.

"Zhang Qian, are you okay? Tell me, I really miss you, I really miss you. I can forgive you for everything, if only you come back to me so that I can see you. "I'm mentally screaming.

I really want to go back to the carefree days when I was on campus with Zhang Qian. If Zhang Qian hadn't broken up with me at the beginning, would I still be so miserable now? My answer is yes, no.

But what about me now? Since Zhang Qian and I broke up, the pain has been entangled with me, and the slightest injury will make me feel infinitely magnified, making me lose the direction of judgment.

Just like today's incident with Han Xinyu, it should have been explained peacefully, but I chose to be silent and infinitely magnify the pain to escape the problems that are currently around me.

If I had empathized with me at that time, and said more to make up for it at that time, to coax Han Xinyu, would it still be the current situation?

Thinking of this, I felt that I was very naïve about my sense of feelings, and I only figured it out afterwards. So should I call Han Xinyu now! I asked myself psychologically, and after thinking about it for a while, the answer I got was: Forget it, don't go to harm others, I haven't even really forgotten about Zhang Qian. How can you talk about feelings with people with this mentality. Maybe it's right to give up, or maybe it's a relief. Perhaps this is just an ordeal arranged by God, so that all good things must be sharpened. For example, cats like to eat fish but can't swim, and fish like to eat earthworms but can't go ashore. Come to think of it, it's annoying for him/her.

I yelled at the sky, "you/." Let the storm come harder!, don't be afraid. ”

As soon as this sound came out, it attracted countless criticizing eyes, looking at the monster looking at me, this time I didn't stay, and quickly escaped from this group of passers-by who didn't know why、、、、、

After escaping the criticism, I slowed down, walked to a taxi, negotiated the price with my brother, and got in the car.

Time passed like flowing water, and after a while, I arrived at the door of the house, paid the fare, jumped out of the car, and then arrived home step by step, and when I entered the door, I saw that Miller was sitting in the living room with Erlang's legs crossed and watching TV, and when he saw me, he smiled and asked, "Why did you come back so late today?"

I said casually: "I'm not your husband, you can't care." ”

As soon as these words came out, Miller's originally kind face was pulled down and said, "There's something wrong with you!"