Don't look at Zhang Lao Donkey's big black teeth covered with cigarette oil, which is not very prosperous, you can despise him Zhang Lao Donkey. According to the words of the old and young masters in the five neighborhoods, Zhang Lao Donkey is a donkey hoof that fell from Nantianmen, not an ordinary foot. This is very true, his mouth is full of cigarette oil and the big black teeth chewed a lot of things, except for the plane that flies in the sky, he has not gnawed, and even the night bats that come out at night, he has also eaten. Not to mention those who run on the ground, those who run on wheels outside, some people estimate that he is afraid that he has eaten dead people in his sixties, so that what can run on the ground is not a rare object in his mouth. In addition to boats, he also ate objects in the sea. can eat the objects in the sea, except for the half-hung Hu Dashun in this village, I am afraid that there is no one who can compare with him Zhang Lao Donkey. No matter how many tricks Zhang Lao Donkey has eaten, when it comes to drinking, it is also the number one wine basket in this village. Then, he would throw away the empty wine bottle, put his sleeve on his mouth, smack his mouth, and say that there is nothing wrong, and then there is half a pound and eight taels before he can drink the taste of wine. And also assured others that if you drink half a pound or eight taels, you will never walk with your feet staggering and your body will not shake, and you will not have a hard tongue when you speak. Zhang Lao Donkey often makes such bets with people after drinking a few sips of Lao Baigan, and no one in the village makes such a bet with him, so naturally he can't drink half a catty or eight taels anymore. After drinking less than half a catty or eight taels, he also felt a little indebted in his heart, so he calmed his feelings of indebtedness by talking to others about drinking. His eyes narrowed, and the god of wine talked about soaking, tasting and drinking, and what kind of wine is what you drink, and that is called real drinking. He talked about drinking like this, and people who didn't know his details heard it, and thought that he was changing the brand every day to drink and eat vegetables in a different way, in fact, everyone in the village knew that he drank well, that is called a poor, there is nothing in his pocket, and there is a plate of old pickles and two taels of old white dry in spring, a raw eggplant and two taels of old white dry in summer, and a raw red taro and two taels of old white dry in autumn, and two taels of old white dry in winter. Of course, this is when he has no money in his hands, and once there is a good one in the casino, he will go to the town crookedly, buy a few seafood-flavored side dishes with wine for a few dollars, a bottle of local inferior liquor with gold letters on the trademark, drink so much that he goes back, and hum a tune that no one understands. If he met an acquaintance from three villages and five neighbors on the road, he would shout to people on the stage like a flowery face, what a big song to drink refreshingly, what a seafood-flavored side dish to eat authentic, and then he would continue to walk back with his legs pretending to thump, humming loudly in his mouth.

Let the old and young masters in the village say that Zhang Lao Donkey is an expert figure. The old and young masters in the village commented on him Zhang Lao Donkey, not to flatter or ridicule him, he himself admitted that he was very capable, no matter what kind of work, no matter whether he had done it before or not, as long as he saw it, or half an hour, he would be able to operate it alone, and the work would never make people believe that it was a new hand. Zhang Lao Donkey is so capable, but he didn't put such a durable ability to the right point, eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling, although he is not as rampant as the gamblers outside, but in this village, it is already a great thing. The old and young masters in the village are not disgusted with his eating, drinking and gambling, and the most disgusting thing is that he is prostituting, which cannot be regarded as prostitution. Zhang Lao Donkey broke his shoes, which made people a little unspeakable, and the woman who was good with him was the woman of his eldest son. However, as for whether he eats Da Suo's leftovers or Da Suo eats his leftovers, there are some sayings in the middle. However, this is his Zhang Lao Donkey's family affairs, and others are not good at saying anything, so they can only cover their mouths and say that Zhang Lao Donkey is good at this mouthful, but everyone who is a little older still remembers that when Zhang Lao Donkey was about twenty years old, in order to be greedy for the cheapness above, he let the father of a female baby chase him with an iron pole and chased him around the eighteen acres of sorghum land for sixteen and a half circles, and the father of the female baby couldn't run away from him when he was old, otherwise, the long and sharp iron rod would have stabbed him in the hole. Although he didn't dare to grab a woman's tits in a big way after that, he still didn't wake up, once he looked at the woman's house, his eyes would narrow into a slit, chasing the woman's chest and between his thighs, and the saliva in his mouth would inevitably flow down the corners of his mouth. Now he is a man of this age, but this habit still cannot be thrown away, so that the women in the stockade hide like mice and cats when they see him. The woman can avoid him, but he always has to drill into the woman's pile in the air, clicking the cigarette pouch in his mouth, squinting his eyes, looking at the woman's chest and crotch and pulling the woman's oil, salt, sauce and vinegar at the wedding and funeral.

"Tell me what kind of world is now!" No, Zhang Lao Donkey was wandering around the village with a dry tobacco pouch in his mouth, and saw several women doing needlework together, so he walked over with a shout, and found a small tree with a shovel in the middle of the women, and squatted down as soon as he leaned on his back. He plucked the dry tobacco pouch from his mouth, looked at several women back and forth twice, and said angrily, "This land has only been in the house for a few years, and the world has become what it is now. You say, who has no son, and spread it on his head, he will also grin and say that it is difficult. ”

Several women knew that Zhang Lao Donkey was among them, and no one paid attention to him, but his headless words made several women can't help but look up at him, and when they inquired, they knew that he was complaining about his youngest son Xiaosuo's family affairs.

"Who knows which bald turtle grandson without a tail arose from the rules of this fatherless young mother, so that he would be cut off for eight lifetimes and commit thunder beatings. The discus girl with a knife mouth and a tofu heart listened to Zhang Lao Donkey's words, and also cursed through gritted teeth. For the sake of their son's discus throw, these two mothers were so busy that their family did not touch the ground, and they dragged their ribs one after the other like a washboard for laundry, and as a result, they also owed a foreign debt of two ribs. The discus matter has just ended, and then the discus matter has followed, no matter what, what to do with the discus discus matter The discus matter has to be done, and the father and mother can't be biased to one by one. Today, Zhang Lao Donkey pulled this talk, and she couldn't wait to pull the person who raised this world to bite him a few times. However, she didn't know who first raised this world rule, so she could only grit her teeth and curse like this, "This god doesn't open his eyes to see, let those meat-headed turtles and grandsons who are sold by that girl as mules and horses go out and lame and lose their teeth, to see if he still lacks this virtue! She said this a little helplessly.

"The world situation has come to this point, and it is not as good as before. In the past, the two old people spoke in unison, and they gave the child a doll kiss, or the matchmaker poked the drum at both ends, and the family affair was decided. Every New Year's Day or something, the family will give more gifts, and if there are few, they will give less, and they will not regret their relatives because of the number of gifts. You look at the current world situation, the engagement is still outside to get the money, every New Year's festival or something, the man's family is sent to the woman's house as if he was moving, and the family is like an old man with a thick waist. Although the dog leper has not yet reached the age of talking about marriage, the dog leper mother is already a little afraid, "I don't know where the world situation will go when our dog leper is at that time." ”

"In the past, when I was in the production team, I didn't see anything, as long as the labor in the family was hard, I could get married. Nowadays, people don't look at the labor at home, but at who has the money. There is no money in the family, and there are many sons, but the debts are wrong. Zhang Lao Donkey put on another litter of dry tobacco, bit the mouth of the cigarette pouch and lit the fire, shook his head, and complained as if he hated that iron could not become steel, "The current world situation is also related to movies, and people learn from movies." In my opinion, there is such a fuss, and there are not a few days of prosperity in good days. ”

"When it comes to movies, I also feel awkward. If you look at the current movies, what are they, there are no rules for men and women, and they don't know how to be ashamed, they don't say a few words when they meet, they hug and kiss each other, and they are not afraid that others will see the jokes. The discus lady pouted.

"That's also a way! Do you think, a man takes advantage of a woman, what does a woman want when she opens her mouth, what else can a man say?" the dog leper girl glanced at the discus girl and said with a smile.

"This man is too, and if he doesn't kiss or hug for a while, he is so anxious that the old donkey screams as uncomfortable. The discus lady heard the dog leper mother say this, and her mouth pursed again.

"Can that matter be controlled?" Zhang Lao Donkey narrowed his old eyes again, stared at the crotch of the dog leper mother's pants tightly, and there was a wicked smile on his face, "If the old donkey calls the pile and sees the female donkey, ten people can't pull it." It's the same with men, they all eat whole grains, and that's the same thing. ”

Seeing that Zhang Lao Donkey was smiling evilly at his crotch, the dog leper mother immediately put her legs together, glared at Zhang Lao Donkey fiercely, got up and scolded and left.

The other women also noticed that Zhang Lao Donkey's eyes were staring at the crotch of the dog's leper mother and smiling evilly, and they all pouted and left.

He was the only one in the whole field, but for Zhang Lao Donkey, he had experienced a lot of such a cold scene, and he didn't feel embarrassed in his heart. He sat still and smoked his nest of dry tobacco, knocked the ash in the nest on the ground, pinned the dry tobacco pouch to the waistband of his trousers behind him, got up and looked at the sky with an eye patch, and then walked back stupidly.

When the old donkey returned home, the woman was busy with dinner in the kitchen with an apron around her waist. He pulled out the dry tobacco pouch from his back and put a nest of cigarettes, squatted down with his back against the kitchen door frame, and then lit the dry tobacco in his eye socket, and smoked it with a loud horn, and smacked it a few times in his mouth.

"You, you don't know how anxious you are! I don't look at how big the small lock is, it's seventeen or eight, if you can't settle the family affairs in the past two years, it will be a difficult thing in the future. You don't have a proper price all day long, and you don't want to ask someone to give Zhang Luo Zhang Luo. Zhang Lao Donkey's woman turned to the back of the pot, looked at Zhang Lao Donkey, and blamed her.

"You're not in a hurry in my heart! I'm in a hurry. I've been thinking about this in my heart these days. Zhang Lao Donkey looked up at the woman, "Two days ago, I also talked to Liu Dacang in Dongzhuang about this, and asked him to worry about it and touch it to see if there is a suitable girl with our little lock." However, Liu Dacang said that there is really such a girl in their village, who wants to be tall and good-looking. Liu Dacang said that the girl's family did not have much requirements, three tiled houses, two partial rooms and one courtyard. You weigh it in your heart, when will we be able to build such a yard? Build such a yard, at least this number!" he said, holding out a finger to the woman.

"A thousand?" the woman squinted at the old donkey's finger.

"Go! Can you lay eggs and lay cubs for a thousand yuan? Save your thousand yuan! This is 10,000 yuan!" Zhang Lao Donkey pouted at the woman and said, "You also think about it, just our broken family, when will we have this number! I guess we can't afford to run such a courtyard, so I didn't say anything to Liu Dacang." ”

If Xiao Suo can take a fancy to it, we will smash the pot and sell iron, take off socks and shoes, and we will also handle it for Xiao Suo. We can't just watch the little lock drag back year after year. When the woman heard that Zhang Lao Donkey didn't agree to let Xiao Suo go to see the girl, she immediately became anxious, "If Xiao Suo drags like a fork in the front village, don't say that the two of us feel that we can't raise our heads in front of others, just lock ourselves, and he will also feel shameless to go out." ”

"That being said, but this house is not blowing pig blisters, and it can blow up in a few breaths. This building a house is a bottomless matter, and it is estimated that 10,000 can come down, and it may not be able to be used when the time comes. ”

"No matter what, we can't let the little lock thing drag on like this. The woman was a little blamed and said, "After Xiaosuo is twenty years old, even if we can build a yard by then, I am afraid that if we go to ask my father to sue my grandmother again, there will be no way." ”

"If you are in a hurry, you can come up with a way in a hurry? A radish and a pit, God determines whose daughter should our little lock be with as a family, and sooner or later they are also a family. Zhang Lao Donkey didn't seem to be in a hurry, he smiled.

"There are turnips in the bucket fork in the front village, what about his pit?" The woman heard Zhang Lao Donkey say this, and immediately disagreed, "Isn't the bucket fork delayed his father and mother?"

"That's because he has no pit in his life. Zhang Lao Donkey replied to the woman's words, "I've been thinking about it for the past few days, I have to go to the child's third aunt's house to have a look, the second daughter of his third aunt's family is as big as a small lock, you can inquire about the marriage." ”

"What!" The woman immediately became angry, "Do you still want to take the big lock? Are you still a person? If you dare to love you, you will think about such a bad idea, how can you eat food and grow into a person!"

Zhang Lao Donkey was so angry that the woman was speechless, and his whole face was hot one after another.

"People who are almost sixty years old, don't you know what a shame is? I am not afraid of others scolding you behind your back, and you have been living blindly for dozens of years. The woman seemed to be getting hotter and hotter, staring at the two old eyes at Zhang Lao Donkey.

"What's the matter? Whoever is my woman, I will be his daughter-in-law!" Zhang Lao Donkey also became angry all of a sudden, "You don't know whose son the big lock is? I also picked up the ashes! I don't believe that the wheat I planted can grow grain! Whoever makes me the eighth king, I will let his son be a turtle, and no one owes anyone, and the two are even!"

In fact, the story of Zhang Lao Donkey's woman and the half-hung Hu Dashun pulling the seedlings has already been spread by the people in the village like night owls, just because the half-hung Hu Dashun was a stunned young man who fed the whole family and was not afraid of hunger, and no one dared to shout about it. Besides, anyone who sees that kind of thing will treat it as if they didn't see it, let alone care about it. Although Zhang Lao Donkey is also the master of meat and not vegetarian, he also heard such rumors, but for the half-hung Hu Dashun, he didn't know what to do, and there was a fear in his heart. Then again, catch the thief and catch the dirty, catch the traitor and catch the double, and he didn't catch the old donkey. In this way, Zhang Lao Donkey poured a pipe into his throat and endured it like. Later, Hu Dashun, a half-hanger, picked up a pretty woman halfway through, and all the evil energy was sold to his own woman, and he rarely had anything to do with Zhang Lao Donkey's woman, but when he was involved with Zhang Lao Donkey's woman before, he still couldn't swallow it. Although sometimes he will come over to eat two mouthfuls of Zhang Lao Donkey's leftover steamed buns, Zhang Lao Donkey often goes to the big lock to greet the woman of the big lock, which in Zhang Lao Donkey's opinion is half a catty to eight taels, and no one is greedy for anyone's cheapness.

Zhang Lao Donkey's woman heard Zhang Lao Donkey say this, grabbed a rice bowl and smashed it at Zhang Lao Donkey, and suddenly yelled at Zhang Lao Donkey: "You old donkey who roars and shouts, the lamb climbs its mother, why don't you thunder and split your long that smashes your legs and pulls your hips......"

Zhang Lao Donkey dodged the rice bowl smashed by the woman, slapped the dust on his buttocks and walked out of the broken yard of their house. Although he felt in his heart that no one owes anyone a lot of openness in this matter, after all, Hu Dashun is a wild father who eats sweet and sour in a big lock, and he is different, in appearance, people always call themselves "big lock fathers" like thunder and cannons and trumpets, at this time, if they are more energetic with women because of this matter, the old and young masters in the village will not poke their backbones! How many years of Wang Baqi have endured it, and at this time can still not contain the fire in his heart?

After getting out of his own broken yard, Zhang Lao Donkey touched his body back and forth for a while, and actually found a few yuan. He couldn't help but smile, and then he left the stockade and went to the market town.