We stayed in this position and listened to the tape until the tape recorder clicked and the cabin returned to its original silence.

Huang Mao'er patted me on the shoulder and picked up the scissors again, "Uncle, you still want to listen, you take the tape, now I have to continue to cut with you, listen to this, the scissors are not stable, I am afraid that if I am not careful, I will cut it if I am not careful." ”

He paused for a moment, and then continued: "And, uncle, this band of Nirvana is definitely a bit evil, I must not listen to their music twice in a row, I am in a very bad mood, especially when I listen to it at night, I often have the feeling of collapse, you have to listen to it leisurely." Their lead singer later committed suicide, and ordinary people really can't bear it. ”

"Okay, let's rest, you cut yours, what's the matter with the suicide you are talking about?" Hearing Huang Mao's somewhat depressed voice, I became interested and hurriedly asked.

"Uncle, you are the second to get to the bottom of it, and the first one you can guess is Lu Panzi. Actually, I don't know much about this band, and a lot of it is from magazines. Huang Mao'er calmed down, and continued to cut it seriously, while talking again.

"This Nirvana is an American band, it seems to be from the West Coast, the founder of the band is called Cobain, a standard rebellious youth, his music, especially the lyrics, is particularly negative and decadent, so the band has been established for many years, and has not been able to enter the mainstream music scene. ”

"Around the beginning of the 90s, they have been touring cities in the United States, and they are no different from those street performers. But his music has the ability to point directly to people's hearts, and it will become popular anyway. ”

But Nirvana has been popular for a few years, just released two albums, and made some money, but Cobain became more and more depressed, and during a tour, he committed suicide by swallowing a gun. After Cobain's death, the Nirvana Band also lost its backbone, and it was difficult to see the scenery, and it disbanded not long after. ”

"Is it just because of Cobain's emotional problems? Or maybe you can't bear the pressure after becoming popular?" Regarding Cobain's suicide, Huang Mao's statement obviously couldn't convince me.

"Who can figure out the specific reason? But I read in the magazine that Cobain has a history of drug abuse, and often takes some strange hallucinogens, as if his wife also smoked with him, maybe he committed suicide because of drug addiction and hallucinations, otherwise, he finally became popular, how could he not think about it?"

Hallucinogens, hallucinogens, Huang Mao's words made me think deeply, as if this was a faint clue, but I couldn't think of the meaning for a while.

"Uncle, in fact, this is not strange, the rock circle is very chaotic, there are a lot of drug addicts in our country, not to mention abroad, including the painting circle, it is estimated that only through drugs can we find inspiration for creation, right?" Huang Mao put down the scissors, pulled me to wash my head again, picked up the hair dryer and began to dry it.

"Xiao Huang, apart from this Nirvana, what other rock band does Lu Panzi like?" I asked him as I tucked my body back into the swivel chair.

"Uncle, why do you care so much about Lu Panzi? Could it be that he is your relative?" Huang Mao asked in surprise.

"It's nothing, I just think that he, a country boy, also likes these, and is a little curious. "I realized that my question was a bit abrupt, but I didn't want to give Huang Mao the truth, so I had to try to divert the conversation.

Fortunately, Huang Mao is also a simple-minded person, so he didn't think much about it at all, and continued: "You are right, Lu Panzi is not very old, but I always feel that he is not simple, he is a person who does big things. I have these tapes, as long as it's rock music, he's basically listened to it all, nothing is left behind, and the dedication when listening to music is not ordinary, not ordinary, except for the proprietress, no one can get him away from the front of the tape recorder. ”

"I just heard from the proprietress that he let two strangers take him away some time ago, and he disappeared for a few days, saying that he joined some band and went to rehearsals, is it true?" I hurriedly asked.

Huang Mao turned off the hair dryer, was stunned for a moment, seemed to comb it carefully in his heart, and then said slowly: "To be honest, I don't believe in this matter, I would rather believe that Lu Panzi hallucinated and got lost, otherwise it would be ......."

Huang Mao obviously had something to say, but for some reason swallowed it back. "Otherwise, what?" I hurriedly asked.

"It's nothing, uncle, people who are engaged in music, especially rock music, you can't measure it with a normal person's way of thinking, I don't know how to describe it, Lu Panzi has never touched any musical instrument, who will come to form a band with him? Huang Mao said, while began to apply hairspray to my hair, I suddenly noticed that my hair had fluffy back back, although as Huang Mao said, I looked a lot younger and more energetic, but I was still very uncomfortable, it seemed that the man with a stunned expression in the mirror was not himself.

It was already noon when I returned to my small courtyard, and the trip to the small restaurant on a whim did not bring any progress to my investigation, but made me more confused about what happened to Lu Panzi.

I couldn't think of why, so I simply turned out the family tree in the cabinet and searched for it with some vague memory. Flipping through them, I began to notice some details that I had never thought deeply of before.

In fact, just from the records in the family tree, you can make a preliminary inference, what happened to Lu Panzi and Xiao Rao is not isolated, although the content recorded in the family tree is only a certain fragment of history, but many similar events can still be found, but, maybe no one connects them.

When the Chang family was in the Southern Song Dynasty, there was an ancestor named Chang Siting, who was not the eldest son, and did not seem to have been nurtured by the family tradition, but had a strong interest in literature and art, and was very proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. At that time, Taoism was prevalent in the south, and there were countless monks who cultivated immortals and alchemists. Chang Siting was also affected, but the obsession was not a magic such as immortality, but an illusion. In his opinion, illusion is not just a trick or ecstasy, there is a huge system behind it. He had always hoped that he would find out the secrets.

At that time, the Chang family was in the real trough among the five surnames of Wuzhu, and in the court of the Southern Song Dynasty, the Jia family was in charge, and the power leaned towards the government and the opposition, and the Chang family, which had been deeply entangled with the Jia family since ancient times, was naturally not reused, and was often framed and slandered, so they had to go incognito, and the family moved to Hubei to live in seclusion.

For Chang Siting's chanting of the wind and the moon and indulging in Taoism, the old master turned a blind eye and went with him. When Chang Siting was less than 20 years old, he had already begun his own traveling life, and he had been as far as Bashu and entered the Dali Kingdom at that time. And most of the cases I saw in the family tree about being taken away inexplicably and traveling thousands of miles overnight were also recorded by him.

The earliest record is that when he was in Lin'an, he heard a friend tell him about a strange incident that happened in the city. There is an old man who sells cooking cakes and accidentally breaks his leg, and the family only relies on his mother-in-law and daughter to do some sewing and mending work. But the old Han believed in Buddhism, and every month he had to go to a Zen temple outside the city to worship, but his leg was broken and he couldn't go out, so he had to make a statue at home, but he still sighed every day, hating his legs.

Suddenly, in the middle of the night, two men in black appeared in front of the old man's bed and told him that he was here to pick up the old man to worship the Buddha. After saying that, one of them put the old man on his back, and in an instant, the old man felt like a cloud driving the fog, as if in mid-air, about an hour of effort, the old man arrived at a misty mountain, there is a magnificent Buddhist temple on the top of the mountain, majestic and magnificent, unusual.

The man in black took the old man into the Buddhist temple, they seemed to be very familiar with the monks in the temple, arranged a place for the old man in the backyard, and told the old man to eat and fast in the temple and recite the Buddha, and they would take him back in three days.

This journey was like a dream, and the old man was so shocked that he couldn't say a word, and he had already regarded the man in black as a god, so he lived with peace of mind.

In the next few days, food was delivered, and every day monks came to carry him to the main hall to recite scriptures and give lessons together. At this time, the old man slowly knew that this temple was called Donglai Temple, and it was indeed in Meizhou, Chengdu Road, thousands of miles away from Lin'an.

The old man also asked the host of the Donglai Temple about the origin of the two black-clothed people, and the host just smiled and told him, don't say, don't say, since you are dedicated to the Buddha, it's good to have a Buddha fate, why do you need to ask about those causes and effects?

Three days later, at night, two men in black came as promised, carried the old man on their backs, and rose into the air. This time, the old man was a little bolder, opened his eyes and looked around, and finally realized that he was in the air at four or five feet, and the speed was extremely fast, so fast that he couldn't distinguish the scenery on the ground at all. And the two men in black were even more strange, their bodies were almost standing and floating in mid-air, and they really couldn't understand how they flew.

Another hour, the old man felt that their speed was gradually slowing down, and sure enough, he saw the city wall of Lin'an, saw the familiar street, and saw his own yard. For the sudden disappearance of the old man, and his quiet return, the neighbors are all talking, and some people think that he met a master of the Tao, which is his previous good retribution to the Buddha. There are also some people who think that the old man is bewitched by witchcraft, and may soon be riddled with trouble.

(The Dharmakaya is also an invisible image.) There is no emptiness, no back, no front, no lower than not high, neither short nor long. If you use it, you can do everything, and if you hide it, you will be silent. If you get this way, you can raise it. If you raise more, you will do more, and if you raise less, you will do less. Don't want to return, don't love the world, go to live in nature. --"The Fifteen Treatises on the Establishment of the Chongyang Religion")