In the end, after they had eaten, on the way back to the dormitory from the cafeteria, Xu Haoyang still couldn't ask Han Lu that question.

He's right.

At a time when this understanding and trust had not yet been established, if he said this, it would only make Han Lu feel that he was challenging her patience and confidence.

It was only after all these ridiculous messes that he really realized that although they had been working together for a while, they were still no different from strangers to each other.

In front of Han Lu, he was very embarrassed to lose control a few times, and he also recalled a less authentic reaction afterwards, he didn't know what Han Lu thought of himself at that time.

He always had a faint feeling that Han Lu really didn't care what kind of person he was.

Zhang Lei also made such a joke with Han Lu before, Han Lu said that she didn't know who Zhang Lei was, of course it was a joke, but Xu Haoyang always felt that Han Lu's understanding of him might only be to this extent.

In addition, it is probably that his strength is okay, and his technology needs to be strengthened, but in general, it can be used, and it is a reasonable partner at this stage.

There's nothing wrong with this logic, it's true, but he just doesn't feel comfortable.

He was used to being ignored, but he didn't like to be ignored by her.

Then, driven by this sudden bad mood, he asked Han Lu another question: Why did you turn pair skating?

Han Lu's footsteps stopped.

"I see. She said, "You want to know this." That's a really good question. ”

Her logic was still at the dinner table, the questions and answers they had been asking for almost a week.

"I want to know this. Xu Haoyang said.

"Because I can't take on another four weeks. Han Lu said, "Once I can't challenge the four weeks, I can't defeat Jin Keer." You won't win the gold medal at the Olympics. ”

“……”

"I hate that kind of tragic story. Han Lu continued, "I hate the feeling that after I retired, someone wrote me a memoir, a couplet, and wrote about the last embers I had burned on the field. ”

"So I can't retire. ”

"I want to win cleanly. ”

For some reason, when she said these words, Han Shuhua's face suddenly appeared in her mind, not now, but when she was younger and she herself was younger. This mother forcefully rejects all her coquettishness, forcefully denies the process of her efforts, and it seems that in her heart, only the result is the most important.

She didn't think about whether the idea was right or not, because there was no time or opportunity for her to think about it.

This kind of thinking had become a habit, and even when it was brought up again, she didn't realize what was wrong with it.

Athletes are bent on winning, but if the premise of winning is to sacrifice personal likes and dislikes, or even sacrifice all kinds of life outside of competition and training, it will make people feel that this victory is a little too cruel.

Xu Haoyang thought so, but did not speak.

If a person has to give up all the weaknesses in his body in order to live, this way of living is undoubtedly problematic.

He thinks so.

People should have a place to retreat, and they should have a second option.

You should be able to give yourself permission to "work harder".

There is a clear difference between "wanting to move forward" and "only moving forward". Undoubtedly, Han Lu is the latter.

At Han Lu's peak, Xu Haoyang was just a little-known little player. At that time, his daily life was very simple, or rather simple. He practiced, summed up his experience, and looked forward to the future. At that time, Han Lu, who broke through the world's prejudice and imprisonment in figure skating women's singles with a tough style in his debut, and seemed to be invincible forever, could be said to be his "future".

Although he never said it to anyone, he was at first respectful, envious and admired her.

He didn't know if he would be able to stand in the same position as her one day.

So, when this "future" suddenly fell and stood beside him, telling him in a calm tone that she would never be able to slide around again, his feelings became complicated again.

So much time has passed?

In fact, after returning to the dormitory after a day's practice, Xu Haoyang rethought the question he asked Han Lu, maybe at that time, what he really wanted to ask her was what she thought in the period since the injury.

Excluding the fact that she was steady and ruthless, Han Lu was silent most of the time on the practice field, and she hardly took the initiative to speak except for things related to technical movements. Including sometimes when she made a mistake and threw her to the ground, she would not complain.

Counting it, she should have said a lot to Liu Bofei, because Liu Bofei strictly forbade her to slide the last time they were one-on-one, and she refused to accept the rebuttal, and Liu Bofei argued back...... And so on and so forth.

Xu Haoyang had never seen such a person before.

At first, he thought she was hiding her inner thoughts, but then he felt that she acted like she was very simple, and she didn't mean to hide anything.

But at the end of the day, he doesn't read the hearts of others either.

In the past, he trusted the relationship with Jiang Xin a little too much, and he was not very good at dealing with people in the team, resulting in the whole person being in a relatively marginal state, except for Zhang Lei, who was born familiar, he basically had no friends.

But after Jiang Xin suddenly severed the connection between them, Xu Haoyang found that he seemed to be living a completely different life from before, as if he had been pushed from one road to another, the road surface, the climate, the season...... And so on, it's no longer the same as it used to be.

He had to re-adapt.

He took off his headphones and swiped the sports section of the forum again before taking a break, only to see an extra discussion post in it, titled Jiang Xin has been confirmed to be an outcast of the figure skating team.

He frowned.

Although the coach has strictly forbidden them to go to the forum, the players can't bear it and will always sneak up to watch. Over the years, they have seen a lot of messy rumors, but they haven't cured this cheap problem, and they always want to click in to see outrageous posts.

Xu Haoyang clicked on the post, and the content in it probably said that he and Jiang Xin had premeditated the split, and the team had already prepared the best partner for his daughter Han Lu, and Jiang Xin was not given good training guidance, just caring about letting her go out to attract newcomers, and even the partner was the one who gave her the most waste......

Roughly cloudy.

Xu Haoyang remembered that in the free skating event of the Grand Prix, Jiang Xin and Chen Tingyuan also made the same mistake as them, and the jump failed seriously, Jiang Xin fell out a few meters directly, and he couldn't stand up for half a day.

He actually thought it was quite strange at the time, a general jump, unless a male athlete really threw his partner out like a javelin, otherwise an experienced athlete would not be able to fall like this.

However, for the spectators who purely watched the excitement, it was indeed because of this fall that Chen Tingyuan was scolded. And the fan circle scolding war, the usual thing is to step on one hand, Xu Haoyang, who was also scolded by tricks before, has become a fighter with unlimited potential this time.

He shook his head helplessly and closed the computer, stood up and wanted to lock the door when he saw the doorknob turn, and then the door opened, and Zhang Lei walked in with a bang.

He felt a pain in his head.

Since letting Zhang Lei come in once at night, this self-cooked man has directly regarded his room as his own back garden, and he has nothing to do to come in and take a walk. Sometimes when he came in, Xu Haoyang himself had already gone to bed and was ready to sleep, and Zhang Lei still crossed his arms and nodded like the director on a ward round...... It made him want to die very much.

But this time, Zhang Lei was not the only one who came in, and Chen Tingyuan was followed by him.

Xu Haoyang and Chen Tingyuan usually don't have much contact, and neither of them is a good talker, and they are hindered by the identity of a former partner and the current partner, and Chen Tingyuan is young, and he is always a little too respectful and timid to his predecessors, so although they have been in the same team for so long, the relationship has always stopped at meeting and nodding their heads.

He asked Zhang Lei to bring him to his room at night, and that was something.

"Something?" So Xu Haoyang didn't say much to greet, and asked directly.

"Comfort. Zhang Lei simply and clearly pushed Chen Tingyuan in front of Xu Haoyang, "Tell this kid how those people on the Internet scolded you before, talk about what you are unhappy about, your black history, and let the children comfort them." ”

“…… That's it?" Xu Haoyang couldn't cry or laugh, "Are you teasing me at night?"

"Who teased you, seriously. ”

Xu Haoyang glanced at Chen Tingyuan, and the little boy looked as if he had been ridiculed by the slaughter version of the past few days, and he drooped his head and didn't speak. He sighed helplessly in his heart and said, "Don't read what is said on the Internet. ”

“……”

Chen Tingyuan seemed to be a little speechless and stopped, and was slapped on the back by Zhang Lei.

"Haoyang is his own person!" Zhang Lei said, "Didn't my brother tell you just now, you can say whatever you have." ”

“…… I don't want to," Chen Tingyuan paused before saying the second half of the sentence. "I don't want to partner with Sister Jiang Xin anymore. ”

Xu Haoyang was stunned for a moment.

"I feel very tired. It wasn't like this before. ”

"Tired of skating with her?" Xu Haoyang asked, "but your technical difficulty has gone up." ”

They have been working together for ten years, and Xu Haoyang has no doubts about Jiang Xin's technical level.

"The difficulty has also improved, but the choreography is very uncomfortable......" Chen Tingyuan said intermittently, and he didn't dare to say too much if he wanted to complain, and he didn't dare to say anything in his heart, and finally his face turned red.

"That means she bullied you!" Zhang Lei finally came to a summary, "Don't say it, there is such a thing! When choreographing, everything is made up in the direction that is beneficial to you, and if you dance well, you will be in the limelight, and if you break the pot, you will be carried by others." There really is. ”

"Did you talk to the coach?" Xu Haoyang ignored Zhang Lei and asked Chen Tingyuan.

"Nope. Chen Tingyuan shook his head, "Don't dare to mention it...... Because I don't know if that's the case. ”

"What are you like, are you stupid?" Zhang Lei pushed his head, "Aren't you stupid?"

“……”

"No, you Xu Haoyang. Zhang Lei looked at Xu Haoyang with an expression of don't you fool me, "Don't tell me how you have ...... over the years"

"You go directly to Coach Liu tomorrow. Xu Haoyang continued to ignore Zhang Lei and looked at Chen Tingyuan. "Don't look for others, just look for Liu Bofei and Coach Liu. ”

This night, Chen Tingyuan may have returned to the room for the first time after almost saying everything he wanted to say to his teammates, but Zhang Lei was still sitting on Xu Haoyang's bed and did not move.

"What are you doing?" Xu Haoyang asked, "Sleep with me?"

"Sleep with your uncle. Zhang Lei raised his leg to kick him, "I suddenly remembered something......

"What?"

"Jiang Xin and Mr. Lu of our brokerage company...... It seems that the talk has collapsed. ”

“？”

"I didn't see it, I didn't see anything," Zhang Lei waved his hand, "This is also to listen to Zijun and their group of girls gossip, saying that if an advertisement is not negotiated, Jiang Xin will stop doing it......"

Xu Haoyang frowned and didn't speak.

"I don't know if it's true or not. But seriously, there are so many athletes in Mr. Lu's agency, even Sister Han Lu can not use it if he wants, and she is really confident that she feels that she is always special to Lu. ”

“……”

"Then again, Mr. Lu and Sister Han Lu ...... at that time" Zhang Lei pointed his two index fingers together, "Is that true or fake?"

"I don't know. ”

"You are a person!" Zhang Lei was anxious, "You ask, exchange feelings......"

"I don't ask. Xu Haoyang said neatly, "I still want to live." ”

"Actually, I think that Sister Han Lu is not as difficult to get along with as the legend. Zhang Lei said, "She can also laugh and joke...... She doesn't seem to be angry when she doesn't speak, and I think she's fine. Isn't it?"

Xu Haoyang didn't speak, so Zhang Lei pushed him again.

"Isn't it?" Zhang Lei asked.

“…… Well. Xu Haoyang nodded.