When I was in college, I liked a boy.

I hope that on a sunny day, the man was riding and I was sitting on the back seat of his bike, swinging my legs all the way. He parked his car on the grass by the river at the art academy, and we climbed the river embankment and drank beer while basking in the sun, needless to say, it was very beautiful.

From the time I first met him in my freshman year to the end of my freshman year, it didn't materialize, and the ambiguous relationship between me and him ended by itself.

In my imagination, the picture should be Makoto Shinkai's painting style, the girl's long hair, like a willow branch on the shore, fluttering in the wind, the soft tip of the hair rubbing against the boy's face, the kitten's paws scratching people, making people itch and want to commit crimes. So the boy hung his head and hugged the girl's slender waist, and the girl's Qianqianyu hand was placed on the boy's shoulder, and in the backlight, the boy gently kissed the girl's soft lips......

Every morning, I look at the ordinary face and dry messy hair in the mirror, and I can only silently look away, squeeze the toothpaste and foam in my mouth, and start the day dizzily. I don't have a pretty face, and I don't have a very interesting soul, and I conclude that he won't like me like this.

None of that matters, though.

Not surprisingly, this year is the most difficult job search season, and I try to slowly climb out of the swamp of the middle two teenagers, become a member of the vast army of job seekers, and run around to survive. In this way, my desire is primitive and pure - I just want to make money, I don't want to fall in love.

At this moment, a bombshell news smashed through our WeChat group.

Qi Zhijia is getting married, and my junior high school classmate Qi Zhijia is getting married.

Qi Zhijia is the only one of our old classmates who was admitted to 211, and it is a particularly difficult law school. She got the qualification of insurance research this year, and her future looks brighter than ours, but she chose to get married at this moment.

Her boyfriend is not a local, her father is the principal of Chengshan Private High School, and he is also a scholar, studying molecular biology in 211, and it is said that he is also the vice president of the college. Qi Zhijia put a light on her boyfriend's face before receiving the certificate, and we had high expectations for him.

The wedding was not held in the magic capital, but on Chengshan Island in the next province, and for this reason, Qi Zhijia also paid me and Mao Mao a ferry fare, hoping that we must go to her wedding. Most of the other students only sent a blessing on WeChat because of the long distance.

"I'll go. "Maomao has just passed the written exam, and she really needs a chance to breathe.

"I'm going - are you going or not going. I wrote back.

"You go. Mao Mao made a mad cat expression.

I, a pseudo-white-collar worker who does five days off and two days off, don't have to work overtime on weekends, so I naturally readily agreed. Moreover, after five days of uncounted days, the intention of wanting to relax was even greater than the interest in the wedding.

I hadn't seen Mao Mao for a long time, and when I met her at the subway station, I couldn't miss a big bear hug. Last year, something happened at home, and I didn't even tell my former best friend about it. Because of my own suffering, others cannot share it, and it only adds to their troubles, and more importantly, I don't want to receive useless mercy.

Many years later, I remembered how stubborn and indifferent I was at that time, like a piece of wood stuck in the mud in the middle of a storm, with no roots and no attachment above, almost wanting to rush into the torrent of time, crouching down and hugging myself, telling myself that everything would be fine in the future.

On the way to the wedding, we counted the bits and pieces of Qi Zhijia, chattering, laughing and laughing.

"Do you remember when we were in junior high school, we studied working together, making dim sum, and Qi Zhijia had more flour on his cheeks than on the board. ”

"yes," Mao Mao continued, "the egg fried rice she scrambled is simply a dark dish." ”

And it is Qi Zhijia, who does not touch the spring water with ten fingers, that is going to become a wife, we can't help but be a little stunned, and a little regretful, both of them have a layer of gray on their faces, and they can't help but be confused about the future and the future. Of course, as a friend, if Qi Zhijia can be happy, it will naturally be better than anything else.

The weather in March was still chilly, and the sea breeze was throwing money at us, so after boarding the ship, we took a few selfies on the plywood, and then we got into the cabin tremblingly, and when we opened the photo album, we saw nothing more than a messy hair blow, and the two of us looked at each other and smiled.

It was the first time I took the ferry of the East China Sea, it was inevitably fresh, my face was attached to the cabin glass to shoot the river, it was really a vast soup, endless, and "The Story of Yueyang Tower", there was no mountain here, as if there was only one small ferry between us in addition to the warm earth-colored river.

In fact, what I like most more than airplanes is this kind of time-consuming transportation, where I can clearly feel the minutes and seconds, like a little ant climbing hard, and the blood in my veins is also boiling with geographical changes.

I don't know what kind of mood Qi Zhijia felt when he left the magic capital and sat on a small boat. I thought so, and sat down in my seat. Mao Mao went to the commissary on the boat to buy tea eggs and zongzi, I took out the garbage bag from my bag, and the two of us took the table board on their knees and ate them casually. I don't know how long the tea eggs have been boiled in the rice cooker, and at the same time, the egg whites have also hardened, like what they ate on the train as a child, with a strong flavor of spiced star anise. The two of us then shared the egg yolk meat dumpling, and our bodies became warm.

Mao Mao took out his iPad: "Do you want to watch a movie?"

I looked at the time on my phone, and I got off the boat in more than half an hour, and shook my head. It's not very appropriate to watch TV series, to be honest, what we are doing in each other's lives, what books are we reading, what dramas are we chasing, we are no longer keen on communication, and what supports the two of us is nothing more than the friendship of the past.

"Is there a game?" I asked with a smile.

So Mao Mao opened a two-player game, which was a particularly popular fruit cutting a long time ago. While I was playing, I couldn't help but feel melancholy, this year, not to mention playing games face-to-face like this, it is rare to sit down for a long time to have a meal, I lowered my head and quietly looked at her, she stared at the screen intently, just like when she was a child and concentrated on studying. At that time, we were still junior high school girls, and now we are about to graduate from college.

When we arrived, it was almost lunchtime. Qi Zhijia sent a message to apologize again and again, saying that she couldn't let go of her hands, so let's take a taxi by ourselves. Mao Mao and I looked at each other, and finally got on a tricycle, all the way to the destination with sparks and lightning speeds, and when I got off the car, I was already in tears, holding my schoolbag and crying without tears.

The wedding in the mountain starts at noon, and the villagers can eat at this place for three days and three nights. I don't know how many rounds of firecrackers were firecracked, the gate was full of red shredded paper, and the smell of sulfur filled the air, and I couldn't help but sneeze.

In such a situation, we see Qi Zhijia. She wears a pair of blue high heels, a red cheongsam, a gray mink jacket, her hair is tied into a beautiful bun, her face is slightly powdered, and her smile is warm and lovely, like the most beautiful bride. Because her father-in-law had so many guests, we couldn't talk to her for more than ten minutes, until Mao Mao and I were pulled to take pictures, and we stood in the photographer's lens, Qi Zhijia smiled and spoke with his tongue, roughly saying: I miss you so much.

I opened my eyes wide to prevent tears from coming out of my eyes, and said indistinctly, "Me too." Me too, those youth we have spent, I am too, the most beautiful time of our youth, I miss you so much.

The man standing next to Qi Zhijia is naturally our brother-in-law Qi. The five-storey small bungalow used to hold the wedding is the wedding room of Qi's brother-in-law, the tables and chairs for the banquet are placed from the living room to the courtyard, there are about 30 tables, and the next building is the home of Qi's brother-in-law's parents, and the yard is also full of tables and chairs.

Finally, it was time for the wedding banquet to begin. We touched up her makeup in the room, and the makeup artist just combed her hair neatly, and there was almost no makeup on her face. Some questions crossed my mind and I pulled out the gift from my bag.

"Jiajia, this is a gift from me and Maomao. "There are a few hot lipsticks in the gift box, which our old classmates bought with money, and I and several other intern classmates have a good salary, so I pasted more than 200 yuan, Mao Mao is a student, and most of the money in the past two years has been thrown to the graduate school entrance examination institution, so I was embarrassed to paste a hundred yuan. Either way, these are the hearts and minds of our old friends.

Qi Zhijia has always followed the etiquette of foreigners, took the gift and opened it, she thanked her while playing with the lipstick, the brilliance in her eyes visibly dimmed, but nevertheless, she looked into my eyes with a smile and said, "Thank you, thank you very much." ”

"You can pick a color and apply it now, I think the color of your lipstick here is too light, it's not festive at all. Mao Mao took out a color she picked, and Wang Po sold melons, boasting about herself, "Look at this color, it is saturated, your skin is so good, it must be white." ”

"I'm not suitable for wearing lipstick now, and I'm wearing light makeup today for his face," Qi Zhijia politely declined Mao Mao's enthusiasm, and saw me looking at her with suspicious eyes, so she quickly defended, "It's not what you think, I love him, so I did this, I love him too much." ”

"You don't have to repeat it to me twice, it's just a way for you to try to convince yourself. "You know, the lipstick we buy can be used even if you're pregnant, and besides, science doesn't say you can't wear makeup, it's just a folk saying." We won't bother you, it's quite lively outside, let's go out for a drink. ”

Qi Zhijia said to his mouth, after all, he didn't keep me, Mao Mao observed the words, knew that I was unhappy, so he followed me downstairs understandingly, and found a remote corner to sit down.

"Are you angry?"

"I have nothing to be angry about, the days are her own. ”

"She's not going to really ...... I'm pregnant......" The words came out of Maomao's mouth, and I really felt the heaviness contained in them.

"Probably. I said lightly, and then lowered my head and poured a glass of coconut water. Qi Zhijia is just a child herself, is she really capable of taking care of this child? Is she going to take her baby to graduate school? I despise my brother-in-law's lack of protection, and even disgust that he did it knowing that it might bear fruit.

The wedding started on time, Qi Zhijia was held by her father, slowly descending from the upstairs, and the flower girl scattered flower petals from the upstairs, which looked very beautiful. Brother-in-law Qi stood in place with a smile on his face, and only took her hand when Qi Zhijia came to him, and he even used his hands to rub Qi Zhijia's cold little hands, and my hatred for him suddenly became much less.

Yes, I never hate love, and as a little girl, I also yearn for love. But what lies behind love is not a huge monster that can be defeated by simple hormones. Love is the process of one person entering another person's life, and marriage is a process in which two adults who do not know each other to smooth out their edges and corners, because the next generation is barely fused together. How big a hole is hidden under the layer of window paper that love pierced, only the parties themselves know.

I think about someone's name, I lower my eyes, I am not qualified to talk about others, I blame other people's lives, I just want to escape the unsatisfactory in my own life.

Mao Mao also cried, from the moment Qi's brother-in-law put on Qi Zhijia's wedding ring and made a lifelong promise, she began to cry, her hand holding the camera kept shaking, and I barely held her hand to make her shake less.

"You are like this, can you still watch the tape recorded?" I teased her.

"Shhhhh After that, I don't care much about how the wedding goes, I only care about them in Maomao's shot, as long as the memories are still good, everything is fine.

After the wedding is over, the bride and groom can go to rest and come out to toast, and then the banquet officially begins to serve hot dishes. While Mao Mao and I were working hard to peel the shells of the shrimp, Qi Zhijia's mother came over to toast the guests. When I arrived, I didn't say much when I saw that I was holding a bubbling Sprite, but the other people at the table urged me to drink, but I ignored it.

"What have you been busy with lately? I heard Jiajia say, you have been working in a foreign company recently, right?" Qi's mother asked, her tone was a little pantothenic, and she didn't wait for me to answer, she continued to talk to herself, "I also took this little girl, but fortunately, I can wait until I graduate to find a job." But ah, it doesn't matter if they're happy, the girl's family can also be taken care of if they get married early, my son, I have to take care of it, I can't send it out so early. Mother Qi pointed directly to her son sitting at the first table, "If there are any beautiful students around you, you can introduce them to my family Zhiyuan." ”

Qi Zhijia has a younger brother named Zhiyuan, when they were in high school, in order to let their younger brother eat hot meals at home, they rented out the original house, and borrowed a high-priced school district house near his younger brother's high school.

In addition, Qi's mother is not bad to Qi Zhijia, I am an outsider, and it is inconvenient to evaluate whether she loves her brother more or her sister more.

"The little boy is not in a hurry to find a partner, after all, the house price in the magic capital is quite expensive, and the past few years are the time to work hard. Maomao also seemed offended.

"Don't you let him practice, this house is ......" Qi's mother smiled ambiguously, "We have already paid my brother's down payment last month, and we only need to pay the monthly payment in the future." ”

I remembered what my father said about the bride price of Chengshan, and I understood how the so-called down payment was paid. I felt nauseous in my heart, and I didn't talk to Qi's mother for a few words, so I looked around with a lack of interest, and Qi's mother saw that I had no intention of fighting, so she ran away with interest.

I poured half a glass of wine from the bottle, like gargling to wash off the bloody smell in my mouth, who knew that a wave of unevenness rose again, and the mother-in-law of the Qi family also came to toast.

I should have nothing to say to her, but she came to say hello with a smile on her face.

"You two must be classmates of my daughter-in-law, our bridesmaids have some small gifts to give back to the guests who gave red envelopes, don't forget to receive them. ”

"We don't have to. ”

Mao Mao looked at me embarrassedly, the implication was overflowing, the mother-in-law of the Qi family was a personal elf, and did not express any dissatisfaction, she looked at the clothes on my body and asked: "Does the little girl have cats and dogs at home?" ”

"Yes...... Ah...... "I don't know what medicine she sells in her gourd."

"My daughter-in-law is pregnant with a little grandchild in her belly, and she doesn't dare to take any chances, and please don't have more contact with her, lest there be any toxoplasma gondii ......on the animal."

I'm not angry, now in the information age, the island is connected to the high-speed Internet, why does she still hold some knowledge of physiology and hygiene in the countryside. With a smile on my face, I replied: "Don't worry, old man, unless my vaccinated cat runs out to fornicate with other night cats, I eat its and then kiss your daughter-in-law French, otherwise your baby will not get toxoplasmosis, oh, you don't know what a French kiss is in this small country place......

I made a gesture to kiss Maomao, which really frightened the old man, and she muttered that she didn't want to play tricks here because of the bride price, so she ran to another table to toast.

"Nice!" Mao Mao laughed wildly, I dried the last bit of red wine, not wanting to look at the disdain of my fellow tablemates, and took Mao Mao to the village to find the small hotel I had booked before.

After putting away our backpacks, we went to the nearby beach to play. The beaches here are naturally not as clean as those overseas. The sea water is similar to the color of river water, but the air is distinctly salty, like the smell of a seafood stall. Mao Mao and I didn't dare to get too close to the sea, so we picked up shells from afar on the beach, and after an afternoon, we had already picked up a large basket.

"My snow boots are completely useless. Mao Mao said dejectedly.

"What, regret it?" I shook the sand from my sneaker.

"No regrets. Mao Mao smiled brightly, like a fifteen-year-old girl. I secretly took a picture of this moment with my mobile phone, chased by Mao Mao and ran all over the beach, and my shoes were completely scrapped.

We ran on the beach like this for two hours until the sun went down and our stomachs growled.