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At four o'clock in the afternoon, Tang Wan went to participate in the activities organized by the department.

Don't Chang'an just sat in the library like this, boredly flipping through a collection of Shen Congwen's anthologies, absent-mindedly, and ten lines at a glance.

After a while, the phone rang, it was Li Muzi.

Don't Chang'an picked it up and asked, "Something?"

Li Muzi said slowly on the phone: "Where are you? I want to see you." ”

Don't Chang'an thought for a while and said, "In the library, didn't you go to the event?"

"I'm on leave and I'm not in a good mood. ”

Don't Chang'an was a little puzzled: "Little attic, come here." ”

On the phone, Li Muzi's voice was a little hoarse, and it sounded extremely uncomfortable.

In terms of Chang'an's perception of her, Miss Li has always been the kind of character who "does not like things, does not feel sad about herself".

You may be unhappy, but you won't show it.

Today's call surprised Bei Chang'an.

Half an hour later, Li Muzi was dressed in black jeans and sat in front of him, his face was ridiculously white, there was no trace of blood between his lips, and his hair was not scattered, but tied into a bunch.

She smiled slightly.

Don't Chang'an glanced at her and didn't speak.

Or Li Muzi opened his mouth first: "Why are you dressed like this?"

Don't Chang'an closed the book and said with a smile: "I went to play a game, why is my face so ugly." ”

"I haven't slept well lately. ”

Don't Chang'an asked lightly: "What's wrong?"

Li Muzi said: "A few days ago, my grandmother passed away. ”

Don't Chang'an nodded and said, "I'm sorry, by the way." ”

"I knew you would say that. ”

Bei Changan smiled and asked instead, "Have you been home during this time?"

"I didn't have time, my dad told me on the phone. When I came home for the Chinese New Year, it was the last time I saw her. ”

Don't Chang'an looked at the setting sun outside the window and muttered, "I haven't experienced the death of a loved one, but I understand your feelings." ”

"I know. ”

Bei Changan said: "I only saw my grandfather's generation when I was a child, but the time is a little too long, and I can't remember many things clearly. I only remember that our old man loves to smoke, and every day he holds a cigarette bag and pot and sits on the clay kang in his hometown. Compared to me, you are actually lucky, at least her old man grew up with you. ”

Li Muzi sighed and said, "The more this is the case, the more uncomfortable it will be when you leave." ”

Don't Chang'an looked at her and stopped talking.

Li Muzi continued: "That feeling is like a sudden loss of a certain part of the body, and I can't tell where the pain is, but there is a huge feeling of emptiness and prostration. Everything around you is unreal, like wandering aimlessly in the underwater world in a wetsuit. After a few days, I gradually felt pain, but I couldn't think about it, I thought about it, and this kind of pain became clearer the more time passed. There will be at least a few nights when I think of her voice and smile, and I always feel like I am sinking into some kind of abyss, and tears are flowing without realizing it. ”

Don't Chang'an said again: "If the feelings are there, it will be fine after a while." ”

Don't Chang'an don't know what to say.

Because he doesn't know how to comfort people, it's not that he doesn't want to, but he doesn't know where to start.

It can be seen that Li Muzi has a good relationship with her grandmother, and this kind of intergenerational emotion is always unforgettable.

She seemed to be caught up in some kind of memory, and began to talk to herself, and she didn't care whether Chang'an listened or not.

"When the baby is soaking in the womb, the lobes of the lungs are closed, and when he is born, he always has to cry before he can start breathing. I was silent when I was born, and I was picked up upside down and beaten before I howled.

I didn't know about this hardship, but after being publicized by my grandmother over and over again, it became unforgettable.

When she was alive, she told me so many stories.

She told about the church she saw when she was in school, the anecdotes of the girls' school of that era, the earthquake that hit my home one year, and the experience of urging me to do my homework one summer vacation.

I always listened to her talk enthusiastically, and I always forgot to take the initiative to learn about her past. ”

Don't Chang'an didn't stop her, sat opposite, and listened.

When it is just right, he will echo two sentences.

"From now on, will there be another person who will give me drunken crab and eel noodles? Will there be someone who will patiently teach me how to make glutinous rice lotus root and pickled duxian?"

Bei Changan replied, "There will be." ”

Li Muzi smiled, tears rolling in his eyes.

After a long time, Don't Chang'an said to her, "Let's go, I'll take you somewhere." ”

"Where?"

"You'll know when you get there. ”

Leaving the library, Bei Chang'an found a restaurant near the school.

Li Muzi said that he couldn't eat, don't Chang'an asked rhetorically if he couldn't eat, could he drink?

She didn't react, don't Chang'an care about her, asked the waiter for two bottles of liquor and two wine glasses, and then filled each of them and pushed the wine in front of her.

Li Muzi didn't know what he meant, and asked, "What are you doing?"

Don't Chang'an said: "I'm going to get drunk and drink some." ”

Li Muzi looked at him and said, "When you are drunk, you may forget all your sorrows and troubles, but what should you do when you wake up? ”

"It's hard to be confused, you will know when you drink it. ”

Her eyes were different from before, her brow twitching, and she tried to pick up the glass, but she refused to drink it.

Seeing this, Don't Chang'an raised his glass and drank it all.

Li Muzi hesitated for a moment, and drank it violently.

The alcohol content is a bit high, and when it first enters the throat, the spicy impact immediately rushes from the throat to the top of the head.

She frowned and coughed twice.

Don't Chang'an opened another bottle of wine.

Outside the window, the night of early spring came early.

There are people with cars on the streets, noisy and noisy in the dark.

Li Muzi poured the wine to the brim.

Don't Chang'an didn't say much, as long as she was willing to drink and get drunk, things wouldn't get too complicated.

If a person can't even use alcohol to kill her sorrows one day, then she may really be hopeless.

Another cup.

Don't Chang'an tell her not to worry, you can't drink liquor continuously, the high degree is too hurtful.

Li Muzi didn't take it to heart.

At the instigation of Bei Chang'an, she has begun to recognize this way of dissipating her sorrows, cup after cup.

Don't Chang'an asked her, "How do you feel?"

"It doesn't feel anything, it's just spicy. ”

Her cheeks were slightly red as she spoke.

Holding a wine glass in one hand, and scratching the ends of his hair with the other.

The mouth is also starting to be unfavorable, but the consciousness is still clear, and the amount is there.

Tears in her eyes, turned for a long time, and finally fell.

Don't Chang'an whispered: "If you want to cry, you can cry, if you want to talk, you can say, get up tomorrow morning, everything will be as usual." ”

Li Muzi's eyes were red, and he said with a smile: "I hope so." ”

"Definitely. ”

Don't Chang'an didn't drive, and accompanied her to drink two more glasses.

"Do you believe that people have a next life?"

Looking at the night, Bei Chang'an trembled in his heart and thought of his rebirth.

It feels amazing.

Don't Chang'an has never figured out how he came back.

This question has always been trapped in his heart.

Rebirth?

Next?

Don't Chang'an was asked.

Li Muzi looked at him drunkenly, waiting for his answer.

Bei Changan looked at her and replied slowly: "I don't know, but one thing I can be sure of is that in the vast amount of time, everything is possible." ”

I don't know if she is drunk or not, after hearing this, her expression is a little gloomy, and she began to pour herself a drink again.

She felt that Bei Chang'an was perfunctory.

Bei Changan thought for a while, and then said: "This sentence is what I saw in a book a long time ago, and it is not that I am groundless, but the reason why I believe this sentence comes from thinking about myself, because it is a miracle that you and I can exist in this world." ”

Li Muzi asked, "Why?"

"Originally, there was nothing on this planet, a pile of cosmic dust was close to each other to form a nebula, the nebula continued to compress to form a nucleus, constantly absorbing other dust and slowly becoming larger, slowly increasing in mass, attracting more dust or smaller fragments, and finally forming the prototype of the earth, forming a material basis for the birth of life, these substances may come from another dead star, may come from the dust floating in the universe for countless times. ”

"In short, it is wonderful that life was born in a barren land, but the substances that gave birth to life have long existed in the vast starry sky. Our bodies are also made up of these substances, and the substances that make up our bodies may come from the snow in the mountains, the flowers in the valleys, the fish in the deep sea, the mud in the grasslands, in short, they are recycled to make up you and me. ”

Bei Changan continued: "Isn't it amazing? Each of us was once a part of a star. Of course, there were failures during this period, but because of the mistakes, we assume that it doesn't exist, but it does exist. Again, in endless time, everything is possible, and the next life may not be known. ”

Li Muzi's tears surged again, and she didn't know if it was Bei Chang'an's enlightenment that had an effect, or if she had begun to look forward to the reunion with her deceased relatives.

In short, on this day, Miss Li cried a lot.

Don't Chang'an was a little dizzy, but he wasn't drunk, and after three glasses of wine, his stomach seemed to contain a big stone, which made him feel depressed.

At 6:10, Bei Chang'an settled the account, sent Li Muzi back to the bedroom, and then went to the parking lot to drive.

found out that he had drunk, so he called Tang Wan.

Tang Wan had a ticket, but she didn't go to the aisle, and in the end, the two decided to take a taxi home for safety.

On the way, Don't Chang'an told her about Li Muzi truthfully.

Tang Wan naturally knew that when she was in 602, she comforted her, but it didn't have much effect.

Tang Wan asked, "What did you tell her?"

"It's nothing, she asked me if I had a next life. ”

Tang Wan became interested and asked again, "What did you say?"

"I said yes. ”

Tang Wan smiled like a child.

After a while, Don't Chang'an want to speak and stop.

But after thinking about it, he still said it: "If I say that I am born again, will you believe it?"

Tang Wan shook her head and said, "What do you mean?

"Yes. ”

Tang Wan leaned her head on Bei Chang'an's shoulder, and said with a smile, "You also drank too much?"

Don't Chang'an ignored her, looked through the car window, looked at the light and shadow that was rapidly receding in the night, and was silent.