Ten Years

- Do you remember that young self ten years ago?

Ten years ago, you were eighteen years old; Ten years ago, you were still young, although you already had a beard at that time; Ten years ago, you were just a high school student, trying to suppress the feelings that had secretly grown in your heart in order to get into an ideal university; ten years ago, you were sunny, and you were always singing all kinds of songs at the top of your lungs when no one was around you after class and on the way home; ten years ago, you would write one little note after another for the girl you loved, and then you would be ecstatic because she gave you the little note; ten years ago, you were proud, confident, energetic, and of course, sometimes sad; ten years ago; ten years ago, you like to ride a bicycle alone, follow the last ray of light in the evening sky, listen to your favorite songs with headphones, and think about your thoughts wildly......

Ten years, a whole decade, an unbelievable decade, time can be lost so quickly, and the best decade is taken away, that is the decade of youth, that is the decade of passion, how many such decades can there be in a person's life?! Now, 10 years later, I look back and think, how have I changed in the past 10 years?

Is what I loved in the past still what I loved? Is what I believed in the past still what I believed? Can I still be happy when I was happy in the past? Is what moved me in the past still moving me?

After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that no matter how much I have gone around in circles in the past ten years, no matter how much I have changed in the past ten years, in the end, I will still meet you on the way forward. You will always appear at every stop of my journey, my body is always indispensable to your shadow, no matter what I do, no matter where I go, what you once loved, I still love; What touched you once still touches me now. Looking back on this decade, it is more like a dream, and today, when I think of you, I feel inexplicably sad when I think of this trance decade.

There have been no tears for at least 10 years

There are at least ten songs that comfort me

But now I'm inexplicably heartbroken

When I miss you.......

From Wang Feng's "When I Miss You"

Ten years, ten whole years, I tried to think back to my original dream for ten years, what was that most primitive impulse, what was the trajectory of my life in the past ten years?

Jingzhou is a city with ancient city walls, if you have been to Jingzhou, you know that the entire urban area is surrounded by ancient city walls. This is where my short college life is. The school was outside the West Gate, and I was often alone, starting from outside the West Gate, going around the whole city, around the ancient city walls, going around, starting from where, and finally turning back. I don't know how far it is, but I often walk for half an afternoon.

This feeling is wonderful, the tranquility of being alone, listening to the song while strolling, and the thoughts are surging in the song, there are joys and sorrows, calmness and struggle. This state lasted for two years. In these two years, I was not interested in my major at all, my mind was always somewhere else, I couldn't devote myself to studying, since my sophomore year, I felt like I was wasting my parents' money, during that time, I watched "Blood Romance", listened to Yunzi's "Youth", and in the end, I almost entered a state of madness, I began to be unable to bear the inner impulses and torment, and after a full year of struggle, I finally submitted an application for leave of absence.

Before leaving school, I had a party with my friends on the school playground. You are too impulsive, they say. I retorted, if a decision took more than a year, is it still impulsive? I said, have you ever felt this way, standing in front of the window, looking at the scenery outside, and longing to rush out?

Life is a dazzling firework

How can we wither without waiting for it to open?

You know there's blood in your chest

Time flies by, and it's too late to ask

Rush out of your window

Just use the speed at which you don't look back

Hurry through the darkest of valleys

Find the gift she once gave you......

From Pu Shu's "Rush Out of Your Window"

I don't know how many people can understand how I felt at that time. It is the mood of a person who desperately wants to be himself, wants to bloom, even if it is only for a short time like fireworks, and it is the mood of a person who is afraid that if he is not impulsive, he may never have a chance again. Have you ever felt this way like me?

Of course, in the end, I didn't get my wish and go on according to my idea. For a variety of reasons, I was getting farther and farther away from my original dream, and I began to deviate from the track of my dream step by step. But at least at that time, I was fulfilling every day. At the very least, the only talent I had at that time had been put into writing, a record of a period of my life, although unsuccessful, but glorious enough. Because of this kind of process, life is richer.

Think back to me along the way

Sometimes happy, sometimes sentimental

But I still do

With deep hope

Hopefully one day success is in sight......

From Ren Xianqi's "The Man with Dreams"

In '06, I lost myself on the streets of Wuhan. I walked from Guanshan Park to Hongshan Square, from "Mantingfang" to "Fangcao", and the unfamiliar faces on the street made me feel physically and mentally exhausted. I began to doubt myself, I began to wonder if I would never be able to reach the other side of my dreams, if I would never be on the road. Sleepless nights after nights, mornings after mornings when I got back up, and finally, the last trace of flame was about to burn out. I hid in the corner of the phone booth and called my parents, I didn't say anything, my mother said, come back.

Mom, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want you to cry, forgive me, I'm too young to do many things wrong......

Everything I've been looking for, I haven't found yet, you know what I've always wanted, not this corner......

From Wang Feng's "The Other Shore"

After leaving school, I worked as a magazine, as an editor, as a dishman, as an electronics factory, and as a teacher in a computer training department. It was there that I blossomed my only love in the decade. She is also a teacher in the computer training department, and my love with her is not love at first sight, but long-term love. She was used to confiding in me, and I was used to listening, and one day I felt uncomfortable when I found out that she was not with me, and she liked my smile every moment, so we naturally held hands.

I still vividly remember that day and that moment. That night, I asked her out, and when I crossed the street, I suddenly but naturally took her hand, she did not refuse, and the warmth that came from her palm completely warmed me, and my whole heart was instantly filled with joy, and I just wanted to shout in the street. It was a cold night, like the weather tonight, but because of this warm current of love, we were full of happiness and joy for each other.