It is extremely painful and painful to ask for it, to give it up, to get it without hesitation.

At this moment, Lu Jiuniang understands what she wants and what the result will be, but she doesn't even have the right to fight for it.

She didn't dare go!

She can't go!

This sense of powerlessness envelops her every moment of the day, making her bright smile full of unwillingness and remorse.

The wedding is approaching, and the entire Lu Mansion is planning for her, and everyone is happy for her.

Only she knows that her heart is gray.

However, for the sake of her grandmother, for her father, for her mother, and for the Lu family, she has been smiling all the time.

Whenever she talked about getting married, she naturally made a little lady's shyness, which made her grandmother say happily: "Jiuniang, this child has been smart and calm since he was a child, and now he is married and finally looks like a little girl." The words were full of reluctance and relief.

Although everything she showed was not her real reaction, her consistent knowledge and general understanding made her have to do it.

She often comforted herself that this family affair could make her grandmother happy, her father satisfied, her mother reassured, and the Lu Mansion would benefit from it, and it would be worth it for her to marry.

After countless times of hypnosis, my inner thoughts became clearer, so I couldn't help but ask for a promise.

Xu promised to step forward, hugged Lu Jiuniang, and said, "Look, Hu Sanniang is engaged to the person she likes......"

Halfway through her words, Lu Jiuniang raised her head and looked at the promise with teary eyes.

Lu Jiuniang said: "Hu Sanniang has two sisters, who have already obeyed the family's arrangement to get married, she is young in the family, and she doesn't need to be like me." Besides, with a person like Mr. Beijiang, such knowledge and prestige, which family in Bianjing City doesn't want him to be a son-in-law. ”

Xu Yu lowered his eyes and looked at Lu Jiuniang, who was choking and talking to her, patted her on the back, and comforted her: "Okay, I will send this purse to him for you." ”

"You must hand over this purse to him yourself, I only believe in you, and I dare not go through the hands of others. There is a letter in his purse, which I wrote to him, and when he reads it, you must watch him burn it, and you must burn it. Lu Jiuniang instructed again and again.

This is the most daring thing she has done since she was a child.

In September, she was going to get married, and she shouldn't have these thoughts, and she shouldn't have written to the man next to her.

But she couldn't help it, she just missed him.

Even though she knew that she had never had the opportunity to see him in this life, she still had the courage to write this letter.

It can be regarded as an explanation of his admiration for more than a year.

promised not to ask much, nodded and agreed.

How much she wanted to tell Jiu Niang to tell her uncle that Fan Zhongyan would take the throne and participate in political affairs in the future, although the official road was not smooth, he was also worthy of the Lu family.

After thinking about it, she thought of her uncle Lu Yijian and Fan Zhongyan in the officialdom in history, and many years later, the dispute between Fan and Lu was quite wide in the court, and Fan Zhongyan was demoted many times because of this.

The family that Jiuniang is going to marry now must be on the side of her uncle, and it is likely to be the person who will make Fan Zhongyan suffer a big loss in the future.

In the days to come, Jiuniang is afraid that there will be many sad days.

She has followed her uncle since she was a child, and she knows more about court affairs than ordinary students, and her father and the people she once admired kept arguing in the court, each holding their own opinions and not giving in to each other, which will make her uncomfortable.

After saying some comforting words, he promised to get up and take his leave. This is Lu Jiuniang's choice, she will not interfere, she will not take into account the future of the Lu family and Fan Zhongyan, and create conditions for the two to elope, she can only feel sorry for her from the bottom of her heart.

After going back, he promised to wait for many days, and finally waited for Lu Shi to say something about Erlang.

She immediately followed and said, "It's better to go to Yingtianfu to see Erlang, I miss him too." ”

Lu Shi agreed, and the two packed their luggage that night and set off early the next morning.

When they arrived at the academy, they asked the caretaker to call Xu Pingqi out.

The two stood outside the carriage and waited.

Looking at the gate of Ying Tianfu Academy and the lush trees on the other side of the gate, Xu Promise couldn't help but think of the scene when he came here to find his eldest brother Xu Pingyi when he first entered Beijing.

At that time, so many ladies were waiting for the eldest brother here, and the eldest brother could easily marry a lady with a good temperament, appearance and status, but now she is thousands of miles away, guarding the small western city with sand and dust.

Xu Pingqi trotted out in a white school clothes, and when he saw Lu, he hurriedly saluted and said, "Mother, why are you here, but what's going on at home?"

"Your sixth sister and I missed you, so I came to see you. Lu touched Xu Pingqi's shoulder affectionately.

Xu Pingqi glanced at Xu Yu, his eyes were full of you must have come to pick up your mother, what is your intention?

Promise shrugged and looked away very calmly.

The Lu family brought a lot of food, and Xu Pingqi's little servant moved back and forth three times before moving all back, and he couldn't fit a big box, and he also put a lot of it next to the bookcase.

Lu Shi first went to see Yan Shu, and then had lunch, after lunch, he went to Xu Pingqi's house to talk, and as soon as he entered the house, he helped Xu Pingqi tidy up this and that, taught Xu Pingqi to tidy up the items, and told the scholar how to clean the room.

Xu promised to go out for a walk under the pretext that he was bored in the house, and took this opportunity to find Fan Zhongyan, who happened to be in the middle of the house.

Fan Zhongyan looked at Xu Promise in surprise, and after saluting, he asked, "Xu Liuniang is here to find Xu Erlang......?"

Before he could finish his sentence, Xu Promise looked out of the room vigilantly and said, "Let me in." ”

Ignoring Fan Zhongyan's surprise and the hand of the rung, she went directly into the house and closed the door, looked at Fan Zhongyan, who had taken a big step back and looked inexplicable, and directly said the reason for her trip and handed him the purse.

Fan Zhongyan looked at the purse in Xu Promise's hand, only to feel that his whole body was sweating, and his breathing became short.

He wiped his sweaty palms with a handkerchief, then took the purse and opened the letter inside.

Lu Jiuniang's handwriting is very good-looking, full of small letters, written neatly and heroically, Fan Zhongyan held his hands and looked at it for a long time.

Xu Promise stared at his face, trying to find out his attitude towards Lu Jiuniang's letter in his expression.

But his brows were tightly locked, and no other expression appeared on his face.

Xu was a little unwilling for Lu Jiuniang, she took such a big risk to show him her heart, but he reacted like this, as if this letter had brought him a lot of trouble.

After reading the letter, Fan Zhongyan didn't say a word, and went to the bookcase to get a candlestick and light it.

He sat down at the bookcase, looked at the flickering candlelight, took a deep breath, and raised his hand to place the letter on the fire.

A thin piece of paper, quickly reduced to ashes.

Xu Promise was surprised and asked, "Did she write a letter that told you to burn it?"

"No, but I have to burn it to keep her safe. Fan Zhongyan looked at the letter paper that had been burned to ashes, the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, and there seemed to be a flash of light in his eyes.

"Don't you leave a thought?" asked the promise deliberately.

"I have memorized every word in the letter, so why bother with an extra piece of paper?" Fan Zhongyan blew out the candlelight, stood up, and stretched out his hand to invite, "Xu Liuniang, if you have the opportunity to meet Jiu Niang, please tell her, I wish her a safe and healthy life." ”