I couldn't sleep all night, and I couldn't help but look back on the years I had passed, living in a confused city known as a huge city.

I want to work hard every day, but every time I seem to be so powerless, I am struggling, and I can only live in a mess, but for the dream of financial freedom in my heart, I am constantly fighting against life, but I am still constantly teased by life.

My name is Zhang Yihan, is it because the name implies regret, so many things I have experienced are full of regrets.

It was a pity for me, a student who graduated from a prestigious university, to be unemployed as soon as I graduated from university.

During the period of unemployment, I fell in love with one thing, that is, to buy a two-dollar subway ticket, sit from the starting point to the end, and then sit back to the starting point from the end, looking at the people who kept getting on and off the train one after another, thinking that they were happier than themselves, the warmth between lovers, the warmth between children and parents, these sweet pictures made me temporarily forget that I was still an unemployed college student, and I had less than 100 yuan left in my pocket.

I like to close my eyes and listen to the sound of the subway passing through the tunnel, as if my life is dark, there is always a momentum in the dark that takes me to my final station.

"Hey, I said you got your saliva on my shoulders." Suddenly, a sweet voice slipped past my ear, and I swore it was the best I had ever heard. When I opened my eyes, rubbed the droppings in my eyes, and took a closer look at the girl next to me, I almost drooled out again, and swallowed it back so that I didn't lose my temper.

She is simply beautiful, with long hair, big eyes, very white skin, and the position of her facial features is just right, as if painted by a painter, and there is nothing to make you pick.

Although I am not a handsome guy, God did not deprive me of the right to appreciate beauty, and when my eyes were about to slide, she stood up, and I thought to myself that I would save myself from looking at it.

"What do you see, you are sick!"

"Go home and see your mother. ”

If I didn't have a second sentence, I might have put up with it, after all, I was rude first, but you can't greet my mother!

"Mom, I can watch it whenever I want, you don't care. As for me, look at you, what's the matter, you don't let anyone else look at the subway! Then you just arrange the carriage like the bus, and everyone looks at each other's backs. The person is very beautiful, and the mouth is not very clean. ”

Many people in the subway heard the sound and looked at us, she stared at me fiercely, I didn't show weakness, looked at her greedily, only to find that she was at eye level with me, it turned out that she was not short, at least take off her high heels 1.68, see who suffers.

When I was secretly proud, there was a piercing pain in my feet, and when I looked down at her stepping on the heels of my high heels, I grabbed her, only to find that she was so thin, and the strength she suddenly used was unloaded by herself, but in the end she still made her stumble.

I don't know what happened to me today, is it because I couldn't find a job for many days, and the person who usually pities the fragrance and cherishes the jade would actually do it to a girl. She may not have thought that she was squatting on the ground and crying, I was at a loss, and there were more and more people crowded next to me, so I quickly went up and helped her, saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't fall asleep on your shoulder on purpose, but you can't move your feet to step on people?"

She was still squatting and crying, crying made me a little flustered, so I quickly squatted down, took out the tissue paper I had prepared for going to the toilet outside, and handed it over, "I'm sorry, what are you doing? ”

Only then did I notice that she was wearing a small black leather jacket on her upper body, a pair of black jeans on her lower body, and she was holding a bag with two C's back-to-back in her hand.

I suddenly had the urge to retreat, at this time the subway had reached a stop, I hesitated, but still quickly got off the train, the moment the subway closed, I looked back, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, resentful!

This look was the first time I saw it, and when I saw it again many years later, it was a different state of mind, but it felt the same, as if the sky was full of dark clouds, and the oppressive atmosphere made you breathless, but I hoped that the rain would come soon, so that you could be relieved.

After leaving the subway station, I took out a cigarette from the five-piece pack of Baisha cigarette box, and there was still the last one left in the cigarette box, thinking about saving it for a while before smoking after eating. This period of ability didn't last long, and the smoke became more and more fierce.

From the beginning of smoking to the present, it is not that I am obsessed with the taste of smoke, but that I am obsessed with it and will always burn for you when you think of it, relieve loneliness and melancholy, and when you want to throw it away, extinguish yourself for you at any time and place, this feeling of never giving up is the reason why I love it.

With a cigarette in his hand and a bag full of resumes, he shuttled through the crowd. Accompanied by the music playing on the mobile phone, Brother Jay's snail "I want to climb up step by step, fly forward on the blades at the highest point, and the small sky has big dreams", thinking when I will have my own day.

At this time, the mobile phone rang! I saw that it was my good buddy Kang Hui from college, this Dalian native, who looked a bit like Luo Jialiang, was suave and suave, every time I saw him, I was ashamed of myself, that is, the name was the same as a certain brand.

Good buddy from college, we stayed in this metropolis after graduation, he got a job selling insurance, he wore a suit every day, and I don't know what he was busy with, but I feel that he can mix it up, because he can exaggerate one thing, and you know that what he says is 80% unreliable, but you still like to listen, this is called eloquence.

I'm the kind of stunned thing that can't beat a fart with three sticks, and once I open my mouth, I can't talk amazingly, so I don't have many friends, except for Brother Kang Hui.

I answered the phone: "Hey, I've bought insurance, who are you looking for?"

The other side burst into a foul mouth: "Your uncle, you haven't found a job yet, right?" grandson, my grandfather will introduce you to a job." ”

I said, "No, I have discipline and a bottom line, and I can't do the job of accompanying smiling faces every day." ”

"You just have a hard mouth, don't ask me to borrow money to pay the rent at the end of the month. He said jokingly.

"Your uncle, quickly return the two thousand yuan to me. "When I first started to do insurance, I was asked for the security deposit I borrowed, and I said fiercely.

The phone was hung up. I thought to myself why I was so unlucky this day, who to provoke, and suddenly a wave of boredom came to my heart, and my heart seemed to be blocked. Looking at the passers-by wearing masks, I took two puffs of haze, thinking that this is the only one that doesn't have to fight, just suck it casually, and suck it whenever you want, so it's toxic to say that the free ones are all toxic these years.

As I walked, I had forgotten where I got off the train, where I was going, but I still didn't want to stop, maybe this is the only way to relieve my boredom. I wanted to touch the cigarette again, but I remembered that there was only one left, bear with it, and thought that when I had money, I would buy a bag of Chinese and smoke it fiercely.

Pay attention to the official QQ public account "17K Novel Network" (ID: love17k), read the latest chapters first, and grasp the latest information at any time