Under the dim street lamp, she hid her face and wept, telling me what happened to her. As someone of the same age but with different sexualities and even different experiences, I can't understand her feelings. I know she's sad, but I don't know how. She declares war on fate with her crying, victorious or unvictorious, not to mention for the time being, at least she is brave. Sometimes crying doesn't mean cowardice. Maybe for her, crying happily is also a luxury. It is not so much to mourn as to die in the heart, but to mourn than to die in the heart!

On December 3, 2012, I left by car for Weinan. I want to see him, my big brother. Because of the hasty decision, I was under a lot of stress and uneasiness. Being overly dependent on him has always been difficult for me to get rid of. Maybe all I need is a word from him, and that's enough. Or, just take a look, and the whole person will be inexplicably at ease. After a three-hour drive, I finally met him. He took me to dinner and arranged a place to stay without much communication. That night, my parents kept calling me, telling me not to think about me going back to school, and asking if I had been wronged. I didn't say much, I knew that my fate had taken a turn from here, for better or for worse, but I was willing to suffer the consequences. It feels like a prisoner who has not yet been sentenced, depressed, extraordinarily depressed and confused. In the end, my parents still didn't try to beat me, saying that you should take care of yourself, and go out and break through. Maybe I'm such a restless person in my bones, always restless with the status quo.

The next day, he saw me off. I took a suit of my own clothes and gave them to me, "Do you have any clothes in your bag that you can wear?" It's a half-sleeved T-shirt, it's winter, and it's freezing to death for you bastard. After saying that, he threw his clothes to me and said that he would take them and invite me to dinner when he earned money. I smiled and said, okay, no problem. When he got me in the car, he said he made a phone call to let me know you weren't dead on the way. I said yes. And just like that, I stepped on the bus to Hanseong. I can't imagine what it would be like when I got out of the car, and I didn't bother to think about it. I can't tell the confusion, as for the job, I still asked a friend's friend to find it, and I worked as a food delivery clerk in a hot pot restaurant. For me, who is in high school and has not yet reached adulthood, it is very satisfying to have a job that I am willing to ask for. For the city at your feet. I'm full of strangers. Watching people come and go, I was very uncomfortable. At this time, I would have sat in the classroom and talked to the people around me. I couldn't help but laugh, stopped a motorcycle in front of me, and he introduced himself and took me to his place where he lived, leaving me for the night. The next morning, he sent me to the store to report. The manager was a woman in her thirties. With yellow hair, neat professional attire, and sharp eyes, she knows that she is a strong woman at a glance. She helped me get on the job and asked someone to take me to the dormitory to arrange accommodation. But the problem came, I had more than 100 yuan left in my body, and I bought a mattress of more than 90 yuan under the inducement of the old lady in the home textile store. If it weren't for the food in the store, I would have starved to death,,, so I wouldn't have had the money to buy a quilt. I don't want to go back and return it. It just so happened that one of the kitchen boys left that day, leaving a quilt with him. So I naturally hugged it and used it. The men's dormitory is a façade room, and the gate is a roller shutter. There is a bathroom, but there is no hot water, no heating. At night, it was extremely cold, and the main reason was that the quilt was too thin, too thin. When you sleep at night, you can clearly see the moonlight coming through the window. I woke up several times in the night. There was no hot water in the morning, my hair was long and had to be washed, I gritted my teeth and poured cold water at once, and the whole person was instantly refreshed, which was much more effective than Red Bull. As soon as I went out, it froze, but when I ran to the store to go to work, my hair was dry. I still feel uncomfortable for a day or two, but after a long time, I get used to it. When I first started working, I was a newcomer, and I always took the initiative to do the dirty work, so the popularity was still good? Both men and women were willing to chat with me and tease me, or because I was young, my face looked even younger, hehe,,, so the people around me took me well.

Business is especially good in the winter when hot pot restaurants are doing well, especially in the evening. In addition, the scale of the store is also relatively large, the first floor is scattered, and the second and third floors are full of private rooms. Delivering food from the kitchen, I broke a pair of shoes after a week. I'm flat-footed again. It didn't take long for the manager to find me and ask me to work as a waiter, saying that I was more clever, but I didn't even know which cleverness I was. Gradually, there are more people who know each other, but most of them are women, and one day when I was free, there was a woman from Fan Fei, about twenty-four or five, and she saw that the buttons on my clothes were open. She took out the needle and thread from her locker and said I'll help you sew it. I hurriedly shook my head and said no need, it's out of the way. She said hurry, no matter how ugly it was, so she found a private room where no one was there. Say you don't need to take it off, just sew it like this, it's fast. She was a head shorter than me, less than ten centimeters away from me, and I could hear her breathing, which was embarrassing for me. I tilted my head back as far back as I could, hoping to stay away from her, because it would be embarrassing. It's the first time I've been so close to a woman who is older than me and doesn't know me very well. Hey, I'm panicking. Two minutes is like a year. When I came out, I found that the stinky boys in the food department were staring at me and smiling maliciously. Among them is a man named Li Xiaohong. There is no one who has this name for the old man. He joked, "It's only been a few days since someone nailed you a button?" and I didn't bother to argue. There is also a girl named Wang Chenchen in Menying, her hometown is from Hubei, and she married here. She was very nice to me in the store and helped me from time to time, helping me deliver things and tidying up. Actually, she looks pretty good in that ceremonial dress, but I haven't said it. Because she always treated me as a child. Every time during the lunch break, there was basically no business in the store, so I ran to chat with her. I remember one time, after she came back to her hometown, she brought me salted duck eggs from Hubei, and I took a bite and my face turned green, but I was embarrassed to vomit it, so I endured it and ate it. She asked me how I was, and I said, uh-huh, yes. She still wanted to give it to me, and I quickly quit. Because I can't get used to it.

The weather is getting colder and colder, and the end of the year is approaching. That thin quilt that couldn't be thinner anymore doesn't work at all. Sometimes I can't stand the cold at night, so I go to the Internet café to find a small corner to sleep in, and really, it's really warm. But every time I went, I was despised by the webmaster. So much so that when I was paid, I was finally able to go online in a dignified manner. The webmaster girl looked at me in surprise. So I decided to give her a reversal of her impression of me. So when I was about to leave after opening the ticket, I turned around and said that I would make me another cup of milk tea, and I would like to be fragrant. invisibly told her that in fact, her brother is also forced. When I was paid my first month, I was very happy, so happy that I was very calm. After all, I was getting paid for the first time in my life. When I returned to the dormitory, Li Xiaohong insisted on drinking with me, but I said I couldn't drink, he couldn't. I was happy when I just paid my salary, and I didn't come out of school for a long time, and I had a feeling in my heart. So I went to the store and bought a two-pound bottle of inferior old village chief, five yuan or six yuan, I forgot. I just know that it's hard to drink, it's really hard to drink. But then I think all wine is the same taste, and it is spicy. So he sat on the bed, and I sat on the ground across from him. I'm half a white glass, he's half a beer. I don't remember how long I drank, but it was the first time in my life that I got drunk. I slept all night with the toilet, and after a month from that, when I heard the word wine, I wanted to vomit.

Then one day, a new girl came to the store, named Zhang Wan. It's white and beautiful. It's also quiet. She doesn't talk much on weekdays, but sometimes when she is free, she doesn't talk too much when everyone is talking and laughing together. There is always a trace of grievance between the eyebrows. When I heard that her child was almost a year old, I could only say "wow". I'm less than half a year behind me for her, so it's hard for me to imagine what she thinks. Since she rarely communicates with people on weekdays, she has always done her work by herself, and no one is willing to help her. One night someone in her private room had a birthday and ate late. When I left, it was already messy, with wine bottles and cakes all over the floor. I didn't clean up until I got off work, and everyone else left, so I couldn't stand it, so I left her to help clean up. She looked at me and didn't speak, and cleaned up herself. It was already past twelve o'clock when I went back. It's a cold winter night, it's very cold. I walked side by side with her. She didn't speak, and I didn't know what to say, so I walked on in silence. When I was about to get to the dormitory, I passed by the store, and she told to wait for her. I ran in and bought several beers. She sat on the curb and opened a bottle and drank it herself. I sat down and she handed me a bottle. I said, I don't drink. She put it down and didn't speak. Occasionally, a gust of wind blew and it was cold. I saw tears streaming down her face, but I didn't know what to say. She rested her head lightly on my shoulder, and I didn't move. She said, "When I was in junior high school, I fell in love with a guy who spent all day at school fooling around and fighting. But I just like him. It can be said that it is love, I will do whatever he tells me to do. In his eyes, I may be a pet, he is in a good mood to me, he is in a bad mood, scolds me, and loses his temper with me. I don't care, I still like him. Then he stopped school, so I followed him out of school and went to work. Then he became pregnant, and until the child was born, he did not change at all. It's not going to play cards, or to play with friends, or to drink. The parents were also cold, but they couldn't help her, so they helped her take the child. She went out to work to support herself, and the rest of the money went back to her parents. As for the man, unless he shows up, he can't find it. Due to their young age, they cannot obtain a certificate. It's been consuming like this. Under the dim street lamp, the woman leaning on my shoulder hid her face and wept, telling me what happened to her. As someone of the same age but with different genders and experiences, I can't relate to her feelings. All I know is that she is sad and that I can't help her with anything but try to be a listener. She declared war on fate with tears, and her words were innumerable unwilling. Win or win. At least she is brave, and it may be a luxury for her to cry happily, because there is no time, and there are children waiting to be fed at home. I turned her head to look at me and said, you look very simple, but it's good to be simple, you won't be wrong if you don't understand, and you won't be sad if you're good. It is not so much that mourning is the death of the heart, but that mourning is nothing more than the immortality of the heart. Actually, there are some mistakes in life that you can't escape, for example, some encounters are a kind of mistakes, you know that they are wrong, and you still have to do it, because how do you know how to do it right? She stood up and pulled me up, buried her head in my shoulder, and her nails dug deep into my back, and I didn't say anything. I wondered, how much I hate someone like this? She leaned over and kissed me, and I stood there still. She straightened up, looked at me, said thank you, and turned to run back to the dorm. I sat down, opened a beer, and was in a mess, perhaps because of the pity she had said, or perhaps because of the kisses that caught me off guard. I can't take my breath away.

That night, I didn't get a single sleep. Leaning on the head of the bed and thinking a lot. Thinking about her things, I feel that people are like this, some people, you will remember it for a lifetime when you look at it, and some people will look at you for a lifetime, and you are reluctant to take a look. Don't judge a person because you don't know what they've been through. I am an ordinary person, not a rich second generation, nor an official second generation. I also wish I was a second generation of all kinds. They are born with a smooth road. I don't hate the rich, but I also envy them, and I also want to get something for nothing, everyone wants to. But that's the reality, that's it.

People who like you give you warmth and courage, people you like let you learn to love and self-control, people you don't like teach you tolerance and respect, people who don't like you let you introspect and grow. We are all passers-by of heaven and earth, and we cannot be the master of many people and many things. For example, the time of departure, for example, the people who are separated!