Chapter 001: Death Covenant 1
"I'm not a straw boat, don't send me your cheapness. Pen%Fun%Pavilion www.biquge.info I'm not a bone, I can't let every dog run after me. ”
"Don't come to me when you're bored, otherwise it will seem like I'm superfluous, why didn't the country use your face to study body armor?"
"Cut the curved items with a knife, pluck the hair and add a scoop of water, light the fire and cover the pot, even if you are already famous and have a master, I will also transfer the flowers and trees. There is only one channel in my heart, and the most hateful thing is that there are no ads yet. Hang a mosquito net to sleep in it, tease the mosquito, and kill it in a hurry. The greatest revenge for you is to live happier than you. ”
"At noon on hoe day, nothing is reliable, there is nothing to do, it is better to fight the landlord. There is no regret medicine, only rat poison. If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out. Without toads, swans would be lonely. I'm a single, I'm ashamed, I'm wasting paper on the country. You are calm because you are not afraid of death, and I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of your death. ”
"Compare who is handsome in these two fish, and handsome is tomorrow's dish." I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you. It's better to have a wolf heart than a heartbreak, and don't think that just because you're tanned, you can hide the fact that you're an idiot. Look at your ranking to see how many people are in your class. People in high society always like to do something nasty. ”
"Take the hand of the son, drag the son away, if the son does not go, he will be stunned, and continue to drag away. How can you not cut your hands when you often walk in the kitchen? There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results. The most charismatic person is Master Kong, who is soaked by thousands of people every day. There are too many germs in the outside world, and I'm afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out. Don't compare people to dogs, dogs are at least loyal. ”
"I'm a cheap man, everyone calls me a cheap man, I record all the things I said in a notebook, ready to compile a book, I call it cheap men cheap quotes. ”
The took out a large bag of luggage and took out a mobile phone app and picked out a taxi.
"Where are you going, sir?" asked the driver.
"My phone can navigate, so follow my phone navigation. ”
"No problem. The driver replied.
The mean man asked, "Can I sit in the front seat?"
"What?"
"No, it's just that I'm a person who likes to talk a lot, and I want to talk to someone all the time, and if I stop talking for a minute, I'm going to die. ”
The driver smiled: "You sit in the front seat, I also like to chat with people, I drive a taxi all day alone, but it is very boring, as soon as the passengers get in the car, I will start chatting with the passengers." ”
Cheap men like to take Xiao Huang, for the cheap men who get up earlier than chickens, stand longer than horses, shout noisier than cicadas, and sleep later than cats, Xiao Huang is really the best partner, it is really very convenient to call a car with the app, and taking Xiao Huang has already become a part of his life.
The doesn't have high requirements for Xiao Huang, he doesn't want to be spotless, but at least there is no garbage, sundries and peculiar smells, stinky shoes, eaten lunches and coats on the seat, how about that?
The temperature is 36 degrees Celsius, and the air conditioning is not cold, it is really torturous, the sun is shining outside, and the air outlet in the back seat is actually spraying heating. The protested, and the driver actually said that this car was originally designed like this, and there was only air conditioning in the back seat, is this the case?
Some drivers cherish words like gold, report the road to him, ask him how much the fare is, and look like they ignore him. Some drivers are desperate to chat, and he keeps interjecting when chatting with friends. Don't ask for the level of the car god, as long as you don't brake sharply, don't speed, and change gears. The took a taxi to walk the mountain road, the car became slower and slower, slower and slower, so slow that he was overtaken by the bicycle team, at this time the began to be nervous, and what was even more frightening was that the driver was more nervous than him, and actually asked me: "That a pinch?"
The said, "Try changing the afterburner gear?" As soon as he changed gears, the car went up, it was really a golden barbecued pork bun, it was too outrageous.
Some drivers like to play loud music, listen to overly heated radio programs, and once hear women call-in and cry to the host about their husbands' affairs.
Make sure that the seat belt can be used normally, the cheap man once encountered the seat belt buckle can not be buckled, the driver actually said, that broken do not need to buckle, now not caught. Big brother, isn't this problem? It should be a matter of course to prepare change for business, right? I have met a few times when the driver can't give change, and of course he can't swipe the card, and he also told him to get out of the car and go to the convenience store to change the change.
He didn't expect the driver to help him get on the luggage, but for some reason, some drivers were reluctant to open the back compartment, was there something hidden inside? Another time, because the rear compartment was too dirty, his suitcase was stained with black oil, and it was really miserable.
Bad habits such as betel nut chewing, smoking, eating bento, swearing, constantly peeking at passengers in the rearview mirror, and of course, there are drivers who don't like to take a shower, and there is a foul smell of body odor.
Life is short, although you can find a job that is okay, and spend your life with ups and downs. But you can also choose to position your talents, follow your passion, be the top in a small field, serve more people, and leave a brilliant life mark.
The cheap man once took a taxi, and when he arrived at the destination, it was 240 yuan, and he rummaged through his wallet and there was only 239 yuan left, so he had to take a 1,000 yuan bill to the driver, and the driver looked at the 1,000 yuan bill and said, "No change?"
This sentence is really a redundant question, but everyone loves to ask, that is, there is no change to take a big banknote, even if you deliberately ask for change, take a thousand yuan out will not be asked like this and obediently surrender and take the change.
But this time, the cheap man really didn't have change, and he took out 239 yuan to show him and said, "I really only have 239 yuan." ”
Then I hope he can just accept it like this, after all, a piece can save a lot of trouble. I didn't expect him to accept it, and insisted on taking the cheap man to the convenience store in front of him to change money, even if it didn't matter, he actually had to get out of the car by himself to change it.
"If you're going to test my patience, get your patience ready first. Since beating you and turning you into a bubble of, no one dares to step on top of me and you again. Why is it so dark, because the cow is flying in the sky, and why is the cow flying, because you are blowing on the ground. "The is really angry with this driver.
The didn't know what the driver was insisting on, but the time he wanted to take him over and wait for him to change money should have spent more than one piece of gas money, and it could only be said that the driver was probably like the one who bought noodles at the entrance of the alley, and they insisted on not adding MSG.
Therefore, the most afraid of meeting stingy drivers in the car, not only this, but also the kind of stinginess that jumps an extra five yuan when paying for the car and insists on charging you, and what is even worse is to encounter the kind of deliberately driving very slowly and stopping at every traffic light, and this is not stingy, this is simply a kind of fraud.
There is another situation, which was actually encountered by cheapness. The got into a taxi, because he was going to the East District, but he didn't expect the driver to take the route he had in mind, and he was still thinking that he might be taking a shortcut or something because he was afraid of traffic jams, after all, it was off-duty at that time, but he didn't expect him to go more and more wrong, and even the direction was wrong. The was about to tell him that he had just stopped at the traffic light, but he was shown an unbelievable picture.
He's actually setting GPS, he's a taxi driver, and the East End should be known to the whole country how to get there, but at least the taxi driver should know it. But then the driver apologized to him, and then charged him less, but it was really an adventure, and he actually got into a taxi driver who didn't know how to get around the East District, which was a rare experience.
Therefore, the most afraid of taking a taxi is to meet a driver who does not know the road, if it is a remote place, it will be forgotten, but a driver who does not even know the road in an important place, it is simply like a seller of salted crispy chicken who does not know how to fry chicken cutlets, and his professional skills are too problematic.
Once the mean man got into a taxi alone, told the driver the location, and then continued to listen to the headphones, everything was normal. The weather was very hot, and the air conditioner in the car was so big that he could hear the sound of the air supply when he hadn't put on his headphones, and he could feel the air conditioning blowing when he sat in the back seat.
The driver was driving, the cheap man suddenly felt that the air conditioner had become smaller, he didn't understand why the driver wanted to turn the air conditioner down, obviously the weather was so hot, and the temperature in the car was not too cold, why should the air conditioner be turned down? He looked at the driver suspiciously, and found that the driver was also peeking at him with a weak heart, and after a few seconds, the cheap man finally knew why he wanted to turn the air conditioner down.
Because the slut smelled a stench coming over because the driver was farting. The puzzle is all solved, and the reason why the driver turned down the air conditioner is probably because he wants to slow down and let the fart be blown by the air conditioner, and then he can suck the fart quickly.
But the has already smelled the fart, it's useless at all, but at this time he encountered another problem, because how to react next is really very subtle, I want to demolish him directly, but I'm afraid that it will hurt the driver, after all, there is still a long way to stay together in a confined space after the demolition, but it will be more embarrassing;
So the very caring just put his hand near his nose and then pretended to be okay and continued to listen to his music, and then endured the attack of the smell of fart, just...... , it's obviously the driver's fart, why does he have to act so hard? And it really stinks.
The slut didn't know what he was caring for, but he really felt that he was most afraid of encountering things in a taxi, and the driver's fart was definitely the first in his mind.
So the three things that I am most afraid of encountering when taking a taxi, one is the scheming driver he encountered, he also met the driver who didn't know the road and insisted on using GPS, and the driver who would secretly fart, actually let him meet it, and he felt that it was the most terrible.