He came to Gu Qingxuan's couch and sat there for a long time, watching him moan in a low voice due to the pain of the wound in his sleep, and the hoarse and subtle voice came from his trembling and undulating chest, his life was like a hanging thread, dying.

His eyes were closed, and his face was the color of paper, not at all like the face of a living man......

The longer he watched, the more scared he became, and for a while, the moaning sound was gone, and he began to panic unconsciously, and even lay down in front of the couch and carefully nudged Gu Qingxuan, wanting to shake him awake.

Since he knew that Gu Qingxuan's condition had deteriorated and his life was dying, he had never come to Gu's house, because he was afraid of facing the terrible facts, he didn't believe that Gu Qingxuan would really be in this situation, he kept coaxing himself subconsciously - Gu Qingxuan would not die, these dangers were just fabricated illusions, Gu Qingxuan was deceiving people and deceiving him.

He would rather believe these than face the facts, the only fact he can accept is that Gu Qingxuan will not die.

"What's wrong with you? I left you off with a single sword?" he lay on Gu Qingxuan's pillow, his chin slammed on his arms, and began to babble.

"Please, what a tenacious person you are, how did you become like this?"

"Brother, I've discovered something lately, and that's ...... You're not invincible, and I'm a coward...... I'm scared, you know? I'm two years older than you, forty-seven, nearly half a hundred, little old man, I feel like I'm getting more and more, but I want less and less, I'm not as ambitious as you......"

"Why do you need to be immortal through the ages, brother, have you heard of this sentence? I am a different person from you, and I want very little ......."

"It's not that you don't want it, you don't dare to ask for it...... You've always been a coward, and I've never doubted that......"

Jiang Hechuan was talking to himself, but he didn't think that Gu Qingxuan opened his eyes at some point, his eyes were worried, he looked at the bean light above, and spoke.

"You ......"

He gasped for a few breaths and continued, "It's because you're cowardly that you need me. For so many years, you and I have been closely related, I am the ambition you dare not face, you have been supporting me, in fact, you are also supporting your own ambition. You're not afraid of me, you're afraid of yourself...... Why don't you dare to admit it? You want to, but you always run away, you pretend to be helpless, as if you are always passive, so that you can be at ease, and I have become the carrier of all your dark side......"

Jiang Hechuan sat upright, looked at his skeletal face, and resisted the urge to swing his fist at his face: "I just discovered one thing......"

"What's the matter?"

"I really hate you, Gu Qingxuan. ”

"I also found one thing......"

"What?"

"You really can't live without me, Jiang Hechuan. ”

……

At the beginning of the year, the spring cold has not dissipated, Jiang Hechuan dislikes Chang'an City at this time the most, dry and cold, depressed, the sky is dark all day long, the city is full of greenery, the official road drove one after another brocade carriages, the wheels pressed over the long street, the horse's hooves set off bursts of dust, choking him coughed.

After coughing for a while, he barely straightened up, his face was yellow, his cheekbones were bulging, and his thin clothes wrapped around his bony body. He struggled to carry the bamboo basket full of books, and the two hemp rope straps were so flawed that he bent over his back, and with great difficulty propped up his back, and staggered to his feet, not knowing whether it was because of the cold or because of something else, he kept his neck bent, his eyes wandering around unsteadily, and his voice was hoarse.

"Shopkeeper, can you be kind to me for a few days...... I really can't help it...... I came all the way from Yangzhou to catch the exam...... Along the way, I've used the coil almost as much...... I have no relatives and nowhere to stay in this Chang'an City, and if you drive me out, I will have nowhere to go...... When I pass the exam, I will definitely thank you again......" He humbly discussed with the innkeeper, embarrassed to the point of embarrassment.

This is the most humble inn on Huaiyuan Street in Nancheng, called Hongyanju, the house price is low, and the people who live are poor scholars who come from other places to catch the exam, and the shopkeeper points to the spring to earn some money in the near few months, obviously has no patience to talk nonsense with him, and directly throws out his burden, shakes his hand and says: "Go and go, you candidates have this set of rhetoric, if I believe it, my small inn will be closed long ago...... Are you going to get your turn in the exam? Joke! From Yangzhou, then you should go back to Yangzhou! Chang'an is not something you can mix ......."

In this way, he was driven out of the cheapest inn in Chang'an City, penniless, hungry and cold.

At this time, it was the sixth year of Tianyuan, and there were still more than two months before the spring festival.

He carried everything he had—a basket of books, a thin baggage—and walked aimlessly through the streets south of Chang'an City.

When I walked to the north city, the twilight came, the sky was dyed black, and Chang'an was full of lights, this was the day before the Shangyuan Festival, Chang'an City was full of colorful lanterns, the pillars were towering, and the candles were clustered.

He passed by the Wei River, the river sediment deposits, not visible bottom, during the day looks lifeless and muddy, but at night it becomes very beautiful, the river passes through the city, the delicate painting boat roams slowly on the water, the literati and scholars chant in the middle of the wind and moon, the silk and bamboo orchestra on both sides of the river, the children light the lanterns by the river, the five-color light and shadow reflect the water surface, as if from the water to give birth to a colorful lotus, with the flow of the waves......

He likes water, like the Wei River at night, just like his name - Jianghechuan, the three words are all related to water, looking at the lights on the river, he is more likely to think of his hometown - the moist and beautiful Jiangnan, the watery and affectionate Yangzhou.

There are words in the book, "everyone says that Jiangnan is good, and tourists are only old in Jiangnan", came to Chang'an for so long, he has seen a lot of vassal and elegant sons, they all say that they yearn for Jiangnan, because in their imagination, Jiangnan is what Wei Zhuang said, "riding a horse leaning on the bridge, full of red sleeves", graceful, boundless.

Indeed, Jiangnan is so beautiful.

But if one of the "Red Sleeves in the Building" is his mother, it won't be beautiful, right?

Jiang Hechuan was born in a green building in Yangzhou, and his biological mother was a fireworks woman, which is a nice saying.

The bad thing is that she is a prostitute who spends a night with a penny.

These are Jiang Hechuan's original words, and he confided this secret to people when he was nearly half a hundred years old.

He kept saying that he was an orphan and didn't know who his biological parents were, but in fact they were all lies.

He is not good at reading, but he has a good memory, especially when he was a child, he remembers it clearly.

Until he was seven years old, he lived with his mother in a brothel in Yangzhou.

His birth was a disaster for his mother, because even she didn't know who his biological father was, so she beat and scolded him at every turn, and no one was willing to say that he was born by herself, for fear of delaying her business.

The place where he slept was his mother's closet, and he spent night after night in the cupboard full of gaudy fat and powder, and he did not dare to make a sound, nor could he come out of what he heard......

He was forced to listen to the noise in his mother's room in the closet, a nightmare that would haunt him in his life, but the biggest nightmare of his life was a very quiet night.

There was no sound in the house that night, everything was surprisingly calm, and that night his mother turned all the guests out, and did not light the lamp all night, even forgetting his existence, and only sat in the room in silence.

It was the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, and she was dressed up beautifully, much brighter than usual, as if she was meeting someone, and almost dressed in her best outfit.

But she sat all night, and waited all night.

In the night he heard her speak, "Come out and go to bed." ”

He staggered out of the closet, climbed into bed, and slept soundly in the soft bed.

When he awoke, he saw his mother hanging upright from the beams, her stiff body swaying.

She's dead.

For so many years, no one has explained to him why she died.

It's just that many people told him that people will eventually die.

Including the man who took him away from the Qinglou.

He appeared a month after his mother's death, took him out of the firewood room behind the brothel, and left the place under the cold eyes of the women in the courtyard......

The bustard pointed at his nose and cursed, and even the prostitute did not bother to look at the man.

This is the most embarrassed person Jiang Hechuan has ever seen in his life, but this is the kind of person who raised him.

He didn't dare to ask him if he was his biological father, but the man asked him to call him Daddy, and he did.

That person's name is Jiang Hanshan, he is a poor scholar who has dreamed of being the champion all his life, he participated in the township examination at the age of sixteen and was admitted to Xiucai, and then in the next ten years, he went to Chang'an five times to catch the exam, and each time he failed the list, exhausting his meager family property.

Before taking Jiang Hechuan, he had just returned to Yangzhou from Chang'an for the fifth time, and he had nothing, no hope of fame, and poverty. Then he had a son, and he gave up the scientific expedition, but he let his dream of being the champion continue in his son.

In the fifteen years that Jiang Hechuan and Jiang Hanshan lived together, he basically only did three things, studying, enduring poverty, and listening to Jiang Hanshan talk over and over again about the prosperity of Chang'an City.

Chang'an, Chang'an, always Chang'an.

Therefore, he doesn't love Jiangnan, he doesn't want to grow old in Jiangnan, he, like many young people born in Jiangnan, has studied hard for many years, and looks forward to the imperial capital.

The people in Chang'an City grew old.

Twenty-five years later, he felt the same way, at this time he was really old, and he was no longer the confused and wandering cold scholar on the bank of the Weishui River.

He, like twenty-five years ago, doesn't want to admit that he misses Jiangnan.

"If you are not old, you must return to your hometown, and you must break your intestines when you return to your hometown. ”

Can I go back in this life? What about going back?

No, there's no going back.

……

Twenty-five years ago, on the eve of the Shangyuan Festival, he was alone, he didn't know where he was going, he could only be sure of one thing - Chang'an, he came, he would not leave again.

The only thing you can get in Chang'an City without silver is the river.

For several days, he could only drink water from the river to satisfy his hunger, so much so that he still remembers the smell of the Wei River's mud and sand.

He was born in a water town, the streams in Yangzhou are clear and the river water is clean, he drank it from childhood to adulthood, but this is Chang'an, thousands of miles away - the water of the Wei River without money almost killed him.

Then he met Gu Qingxuan and Shen Lanxi.

He has a good memory, but there are few things worth remembering in his life, when he was most desperate, he met his best friend, he had his own restaurant in Chang'an City, he married a virtuous wife, he had the best daughter, although his wife did not grow old with him, but left him the warmest memories of his life, and he accompanied her to the end......

He lives carefully in this world, just like when he was afraid of his mother's abuse when he was a child, afraid of the days when he was hungry and full of food, he subconsciously wanted to hide aside, huddle in a dark corner, and watch the fireworks in this world, so he protected himself very well, and tried his best to hide his desires.

He didn't become a champion and failed to embark on a career in office, and he still stayed in Chang'an City, where he had a world, and he thought that was enough.

Until one day, a person walked into his Jiangyue Tower.

Since then, the most prestigious, elegant and expensive Jiangyue Tower in Chang'an City is no longer just a vassal and elegant undercurrent, but also a close to Fengyue.

……

"That day, you fell on the side of the official road, and our carriage almost ran over you...... Did you know that you scared Lan Hee, she was pregnant......

"I know...... I'm sorry...... Anyway, you've been blaming me for twenty-five years for this......"

"You're still carrying a book in a coma, do you know? Lan Xi said that you are such a nerd, you will only die reading......"

"I don't believe it, she wouldn't say something like that, obviously you said it, right?"

"Okay...... I'll admit that I said ......"

"Then what did I memorize at that time? "The Analects" and "Zuo Chuan"?"

"No, you read the poem, "Lisao" ......"

"I also have a good heart, although I still have no regrets after nine deaths. ”

This is the eve of the Shangyuan Festival in the third year of Tianyou, they are all nearly half a hundred years old, Gu Qingxuan is sick in bed, he is sitting on the edge of his couch, and the two old friends are chatting about the past.

Jiang Hechuan thought about the past, he had mixed feelings, and a long-suppressed impulse came to his heart with this poem by Gu Qingxuan, and after thinking for a long time, he finally spoke again.

"I've always had a secret that I've never told you......"

"Are you going to tell me now?"

"Hmm. ”

"What's the secret?"

After another moment of hesitation, and with a great deal of determination, he confessed.

"Actually, I have always known my background, my biological mother was a prostitute in a brothel in Yangzhou, and she hanged herself when I was seven years old......"

After Gu Qingxuan listened, he said heavily: "Then I'll tell you a secret ...... too."

"What?"

"Actually, ten years ago, when you were drunk, you told me this secret and asked me to keep it secret, so I have been pretending not to have heard this secret, and I have been pretending for ten years, and you haven't even found out about it......"

After another long blank, Jiang Hechuan finally said, "I won't betray you, you know? For to betray you is to betray myself. ”

……

On the day of the Shangyuan Festival, because there were white things at home that were inconvenient to celebrate, the Yin family held a banquet in Jiangyue Tower to gather relatives and friends.

After the banquet was dispersed, Yin Chengyuan and Jiang Hechuan met, as if nothing happened, before leaving, he sighed: "Boss Jiang has good skills, how well he runs this Jiang Yuelou, the county lord's wedding banquet is held here, I still remember the so-called unprecedented grand occasion at that time......

"I just don't know, Boss Yijiang, your relationship with the 'Jin Wangfu'...... Will the prince of Jin choose to put a full moon wine for the county lord or prince he will be born in your Jiangyue Tower? The scene must be very beautiful at that time...... What do you say?"

……

The next day, Jiang Hechuan visited the Yin Mansion and took the initiative to ask Yin Chengyuan to see him, indicating that he was willing to cooperate with the Yin family, turn his back on the Gu family, and provide evidence for all the charges they accused, even if it was against Bo Gongtang, he would cooperate.