172. quid pro quo (5)
"Qiu Yueze, I think you may have misunderstood......"
After quickly sorting out his thoughts and reformulating new countermeasures, Gao Ran unhurriedly changed his true intentions to another "direct" way and told Qiu Yueze......
"Yes, I do like Gao Xi. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info
"But, the kind of liking I have for him is not the kind of liking you think you are!
"Don't forget, you and I are essentially the same kind of people!
"You and I both know very well that people like us, even if there is anyone in their hearts, it must have nothing to do with 'love/love'!
"Just like you!
"I'm sure you have me in your heart, and ...... If I'm not mistaken, I'm the only one in your heart!
"However, I know that your feelings for me are not 'male and female love'!
"Perhaps, you like me, but your liking for me is more, just because you see too many shadows similar to you in me, you are out of a kind of compensation psychology for yourself, out of your liking for yourself, you will like me.
"Your liking for me is nothing more than your 'love house and black'!
"Isn't it?!"
After listening to Gao Ran's rhetorical question, Qiu Yueze couldn't help twitching the corners of his mouth.
He didn't expect that although Gao Ran was indeed unwilling to compromise easily as he expected, and even tried to persuade him to give in, he did not directly "explain" to him that her liking for Gao Xi was "not the kind of liking he thought......
On the contrary, she doesn't seem to want to explain her feelings for Gao Xi at all, but directly transfers the problem to him! Take him as an example to prove that her feelings for Gao Xi are not as he mistakenly believed......
Qiu Yueze had to admit that Gao Ran's way of explaining it was indeed effective for him!
At the very least, the way she explained the premise of asking him to "compare his heart to his heart" first - "Is it possible for people like them to have the kind of feeling of 'liking' in the world?!" - the way of explaining this premise is still not easy to arouse his resistance even in this situation, and it has been proved that it is indeed easier for him to listen to it when explained to him in this way!
Indeed, if this premise itself is not true, then who is the object and what does it matter?!
Because no matter who it is, Gao Ran will never really like each other! Or, even if he "likes", it must have nothing to do with "the love between men and women"! Or, at least it will never be so simple that it is just because of "the love between men and women"!
It's just that what Gao Ran said was too direct!
Although Qiu Yueze had always believed that Gao Ran must have understood him! But he never thought that she would be able to understand this level! Moreover, she didn't even mind telling such a truth so bluntly in front of him!
Listening to her tone of straightforward truth-pointing just now, it was as if what she said was a "trivial matter" that was just ordinary......
This couldn't help but Qiu Yueze was a little curious: Gao Ran could see such a ...... so plainly The truth...... Is it because her heart can really be strong enough to not only face the realistic side of human nature, but also to admit it and accept it very calmly?! Or is it just because she is actually a little bit of a tendon and doesn't understand what such a truth means?!
With such curiosity, Qiu Yueze stared at Gao Ran slightly inquiringly for a while, but after all, he couldn't help but smile bitterly with a little self-deprecation, "No! she really understands what she is talking about! Moreover, to her, this matter is nothing at all......
After understanding this, Qiu Yueze didn't feel a little more distressed in his eyes when he looked at Gao Ran again.
It's just because his life experience has made him understand that anyone who can see the ugly side of human nature as unremarkable, can not only face it, but also admit it, accept it, treat it as an existence that is no different from other ordinary things in life, tolerate it, and still be willing to release kindness to the world and others...... It is impossible for those who can do this without experiencing pain!—and it must be enough to cause the whole spiritual world to collapse completely!
For a moment, Qiu Yueze suddenly remembered the conversation with Gao Ran in the garden more than two years ago......
I remember that as early as that time, Gao Ran had advised him to "repay his grievances with virtue" and asked him to think about those innocent and innocent children; he even said that in the eyes of the gods, those innocent children were all 'him' one by one! He also asked him, could he really bear to push 'himself' into the fire pit again with his own hands? Let that 'he' one by one go through everything he had experienced again?!
He confessed that it was indeed a knot in his heart that he could never dissolve! He also resented his enemies, the world, and the heavens for it......
However, Gao Ran said that maybe he could think about it from a different angle, the reason why the gods chose him was because it wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself!
What a tempting reason!
At that moment, his heart finally began to waver!
He began to want to believe what she said, "Hatred can never be resolved; ”
Although at the time he didn't want to admit it, and even resisted!
It's just that......
"If you don't try, how do you know you can't?!"
It's just that Gao Ran's rhetorical question, since then, has always haunted his heart and lingered!
He knew that he was powerless to refute it! and he didn't want to refute it!
It was also from that moment that he felt as if he had seen hope in life again—the hope that he might be able to be happy!
He didn't care if he could be redeemed, and how many of those innocent children would have their lives changed because of his kindness.
He only cares, can he still feel real happiness and be truly happy while he is alive?!
He just wants to be happy!
Of course, it would be better if his heart could be redeemed at the same time as he was happy!
However, he didn't have much hope for this - at least, at that time, he really didn't believe that Gao Ran's "repaying grievances with virtue" would free him from hatred......
He just believed his judgment at the time: as long as Gao Ran didn't leave him, he might get the happiness he wanted!-because he felt that she understood him!
That's why he agreed to let her try in order to keep her, as a quid pro quo for her to promise that she would "never leave him first......
Remembering those past for a moment, and then looking at Gao Ran, who has grown up a lot now, Qiu Yueze felt a little painful somewhere in his heart.
This, he thought, must be what people often call a "distressed" feeling!
Now that he looked back at the past, Qiu Yueze realized that if Gao Ran hadn't experienced similar pain, how could she persuade him like that? And when he later induced her to make such a promise, she might have known his motives at all! But she chose to follow his wishes with a clear pretense of confusion......
Fortunately, in the past two years or so, he has indeed done what she wishes, while making a profit in business, he will also take out some of it to do some good deeds.
I don't know if it's a psychological suggestion at work? Or is it really as Gao Ran said -- is it really a god who is clearly spiritual?!
Anyway, in fact, in the past two years or so, the inexplicable anger and impulse in Qiu Yueze's heart that always frequented from time to time to destroy everything he hated did appear less and less frequently, and the degree of anger and the tyranny it would cause became less and less.
Even though, those hateful memories still popped up in his mind from time to time, and even sometimes tormented him to sleepless all night! But for him, it was good to be like this!--at least, it was much better than the one before he met Gao Ran!
Today's Qiu Yueze may have been affected by this subtle change in his state of mind, and just recently, he even began to think about transforming Tiange: for example, starting to reduce the business of assassination, receiving more business of buying and selling news, plus all kinds of new industries created around those fresh ideas that Gao Ran came up with......
For some reason, recently, as the premonition that he always felt that he would soon be able to see Gao Ran again became stronger and stronger, Qiu Yueze's desire to turn Tiange from black to white became stronger and stronger......
It's just that he didn't expect that he would really see Gao Ran again soon, as he had a hunch!
"Is there really a providence? Could it be that such a strong premonition is a kind of providence?!"
At the moment when he met Gao Ran unexpectedly, Qiu Yueze even had such an idea in his heart for a moment!
However, after reacting, while being frightened by his own thoughts, Qiu Yueze couldn't help but ask himself, "If the premonition works, it is really a providence...... So, Tiange, can I really have a chance to 'turn black into white' in my lifetime?!"
But...... Between the origins of the Heavenly Pavilion...... Otherwise, the kind of blood debt that Tiange once caused will definitely make it quickly be wiped out by the enemy and completely disappear from the rivers and lakes once it gives up its military self-protection! )