February 23, 2016

50 days after the event of "One Man's World". Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

Lately, I've been driving around in all sorts of luxury cars. It also includes many supercars, such as Lamborghini, Ferrari, etc., which are quietly parked in the garage of Nanjing's villa area.

I smashed the glass of these villas and easily found the keys in the bedroom, but I didn't expect these luxury cars to be driven differently from ordinary automatic cars.

Thankfully, I found tutorials on the internet, but even then, I had to learn how to handle the poor Lamborghini by knocking it to a pulp.

Now I'm driving a convertible Ferrari in this empty city, because there is no one on the road, so I can drive as fast as I want, the city was so congested that it took 30 minutes to drive for 10 minutes, and it was the first time I had such a good time.

I even found a straight road and tried what it was like to drive up to three hundred yards.

However, it doesn't really feel anything.....

I parked my car in the middle of the highway.

Looking at the endless road, I don't know what to do.

Now that I'm in the car and writing this journal, you're going to think I'm a stupid x, right?.

That's right, I'm a fool.....

April 4, 2016

Ninety days after the events of "One Man's World".

Today is Qingming Festival.

I suddenly got nervous and lit a bonfire in front of the statue of Sun (Harmony) Zhongshan at Xinjiekou, and then placed a circle of flowers and bowed my head in silence for three minutes. And carved a stone tablet with the words "Tomb of all mankind (except Li Fan)".

I don't know what I'm doing.....

Maybe it's a tribute to the vanished humans, right?

For the past forty days, I've gone to see what the bank vaults look like, peed in front of the government, and entered high-end clubs that I had absolutely no confidence to enter before.

walked into the sex shop (there is really a Korean version of the inflatable doll), and even pretended to use the red confidential phone on his desk to dial the adult radio station chatting at midnight in the ******** office......

I did everything I wanted to do but didn't dare to do before.

But I still don't know how I'm going to live.

Some people say that the meaning of human existence is to satisfy people's desires.

But what is the meaning of desire when all the people around it are gone, or is the value of desire entirely dependent on others?

Just as I drove the world's top luxury car, wearing expensive Armani and Versace, but no one came to admire it, and I didn't feel the envious gaze of others, then these objects that were once used to satisfy human vanity and desire only have their original meaning.

That is, they are just tools for transportation and shaming.

When the resources of the world belong to one person, what is the meaning of human desires?

The whole world is at my disposal, and I can even pave the way with gold, but what's the point when I'm alone?

I'd rather trade half of this world, no, ninety percent for someone to talk to.

.........

June 1, 2017

542 days after the events of "One Man's World".

I'm sorry.... I just can't hold it anymore......... I don't know what the point of my life is.

I even began to wonder who I was......

I... So be it..... I hope that you can live longer than me when you see this diary....

My name is Li Fan, male, 25 years old, unmarried, professional as a financial consultant and web novel writer....

This diary is proof that I existed.

Good bye.....

Li Fan sat in a huge office in the police station, holding a pistol with some scratches on the outside, which was a 54-style police pistol.

In this era when new pistols have been fully replaced, it may be that this high-ranking bureau chief is still more accustomed to the May Fourth style, so he locked one in the drawer of his office.

Li Fan checked the bullets in the magazine a little awkwardly, opened the safety and stuffed the muzzle of the gun into his mouth with trembling hands, against his palate.

This is the way he learned to commit suicide from the movie "The Shawshank Redemption".

It is said that this will reduce the pain of suicide in the least.

Li Fan's breathing began to be rapid, his eyes were full of despair and confusion, and his mind began to replay his previous life like lightning, and even the memories that had long been blurred or forgotten were now as clear as a movie.

If Hemingway put the shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger to make a final fight against the disease, to fulfill the promise that men "can be eliminated but not defeated";

Sanmao took the way of hanging himself because he saw through the red dust and chose to go to another world to continue wandering;

Ruan Lingyu ended her life with 30 sleeping pills in order to show her innocence and make a final struggle against the cruel world......

Xie Jin, Chen Baolian, Leslie Cheung and other stars jumped without hesitation because of all kinds of pressure and helplessness.

What about yourself... What is the reason for suicide?

With this confusion, Li Fan pulled the trigger hard.

The "click" firing pin strikes lightly against the bottom of the bullet. Li Fan's body shook suddenly, a large amount of adrenal hormone secretion made his muscles all over his body begin to tense and stiffen, and a tingling sensation spread all over his body along his spine extremely quickly, and cold sweat soaked his entire back in an instant. His brain went blank, his ears were filled with a strange long beep, and even his eyes were out of focus, hollow and confused.

Li Fan remained stunned for a long time in the posture of swallowing the gun, until his mouth was open for a long time and spontaneously nauseated retching did he come back to his senses.

The bullet jammed.

Laboriously pulled out the pistol from his mouth, and the great fear of life and death all surged into his heart at this time, and he was afraid that at this time, it was like a tide that hit his heart wave after wave.

Li Fan lay on the table and cried, crying so wanton and happy, but his heart was extremely calm, as if all the pain and uneasiness accumulated in his heart before were fired out with the trigger he pulled before.

Ordinary people who commit suicide once never have the courage to commit suicide a second time, fortunately, Li Fan is that ordinary person.

Looking at the 54-style pistol that saved his life because of the jam, he suddenly realized that he didn't want to die.

On the contrary, he wants to live...

He wants to figure out why humanity has disappeared, and he has to find out why this world has become the way it is.

Li Fan thought about it a lot, and finally put this May Fourth-style pistol into his arms, which was his lucky object and the only existence to witness his new life.

In this vast office, the eyes of the young man with a pistol radiated an incomparably determined light, which was a perseverance tempered by a death.

Li Fan looked up at the westward sunset outside, pushed open the window, and shouted with all his might

"I will definitely live! I will definitely find the reason why this world has become like this!"

Then he lowered his eyes and said softly in his heart

"Yes, I swear ....."