"Mr. Liang, you know why I asked you earlier, do you feel that you are under a lot of pressure?"

Mr. Liang looked at Lu Ran and smiled slightly: "I haven't thought about this, this is your job, you must have your intentions when you ask like this." Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

After you asked, after we talked about some family matters, I vaguely understood the pressure you said, and now my life is a little busy and dizzy, and I really feel a little stressed. ”

"Hmm. Do you know why the first thing you said after I asked you this question was, 'It's okay at work?'"

"Why ......" Mr. Liang lowered his head and thought for a moment, "This, I really didn't pay attention." Stress, when it comes to stress, the first reaction is work pressure, and I think other people should think the same way, right?"

"Not everybody thinks that way. Your wife, for example, may be under pressure from elsewhere. Lu Ran answered Mr. Liang's rhetorical question in one sentence.

"A person's first reaction is to see what he cares about. The more a person emphasizes something, the more he is missing.

Of course, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with your ability to work.

But at least you can see that you care a lot about your work and what others say about your ability to work. ”

Mr. Liang's eyebrows furrowed slightly, no one had ever said the above words to him, and after listening to it, the more he thought about it, the more he felt that this was the case.

The young man in front of him seemed to see himself more through than his parents and wife.

Concerned about work, yes.

Although I do all this for my family, for my wife and children, I don't really spend much time with my family.

Instead, work takes most of my time and energy.

"You have traded your work for the recognition, respect and life of others. Your life is like a scale. Equiquantitative relationship, clear and simple. On the left is your job, and on the right is all the things that are exchanged for work, which we will call your life for the time being.

Now, your life and your work are on par with the same weight, maintaining a balance.

However, such a balance is a fragile one.

Once you put a little more weight on your life, your work may be overwhelmed.

So, your first instinct is to say that your job is fine.

It's a subconscious self-affirmation.

Because once you admit that there may be something wrong with your work, this whole scale, will collapse. ”

Mr. Liang looked at Lu Ran, his originally slightly furrowed brows stretched out in surprise for a while, his eyes widened, but the last sentence Lu Ran said repeatedly appeared in his mind.

Once you admit that there may be problems at work, the whole balance will collapse......

What a sharp and merciless word.

He took a deep breath.

He wanted to refute, he wanted to explain, or say, "No, I'm not worried about this," but he couldn't say it.

"You're right. I can tell others, tell myself, that there is nothing wrong with my job. But what I can't deny is that if it goes wrong, I'm afraid the consequences will be unimaginable.

If I want to say that there is no fear of this, it is impossible.

That's the pressure you want to ask.

I'll admit, I'm stressed.

However, what can be done about this, this is the pressure of men. ”

When Mr. Liang said this, he was full of helplessness, and his eyes also put down the strong armor, looking depressed and tired.

"Again, Mr. Liang, this is your pressure, not all men, this is the case.

Your present is the result of your past choices.

Every choice is made by yourself, and every step is taken by yourself. ”

Lu Ran tried to guide Mr. Liang's introspection.

"Isn't that what other people do? My choice? What choice do I have, that's life. ”

"Not every man is going to push himself into a situation where he can't move.

You've had a lot of options, and you still have. It's just that your excellence and self-demand only allow yourself to make those choices that force you to be more capable.

Your inability to move is the result of self-persecution and self-demand.

You have a tendency to perfectionism, and once your choices and practices do not meet your definition of good and capable, it will trigger your disapproval of yourself.

You have an ideal self in your heart, and you don't allow it, and the real self deviates too far from the ideal self.

The dignity and life that you have exchanged for 'competence' allows you to be satisfied with yourself.

It is because of this demand that you will not be able to bear the slightest loss of dignity and life.

You have a strong desire to control life because you don't allow it to go against your will, and your tolerance for mistakes is very small.

However, whenever a person's desires increase, his suffering will also increase.

The more you want something or a person to develop according to your own ideas, the more painful you will be if it goes against your will.

The more you want to control those things in order not to let this pain happen.

The more I wanted it, the more worried I became.

It's a vicious circle.

That's anxiety. ”

Lu Ran's series of analyses, Mr. Liang listened attentively, and did not refute them.

"This is what happens in your dreams when you can't move, you go with the water, all the way before, and you don't have a choice.

Rather than talking about the flow of water, I prefer to understand it as the flow of people pushing you forward, the flow of people.

The expectations of others for you, your expectations of yourself, turn into a small boat without oars, allowing you to involuntarily rush forward.

So, you're taken to the subway station.

Faced with the starting station of your daily work, your heart wants to escape.

A job that you enjoyed and praised has now become a shackle that makes you want to escape.

Mr. Leung, people are not machines, and even if you want to be as efficient and error-free as a machine, people are human after all.

People should take care of their body and mind, which are more important than your work. ”

I don't know what Lu Ran said that touched Mr. Liang's heart.

He touched his forehead and face with his hands, and felt a little dampness between his fingers.

"That's right.

When people reach middle age, they have a lot, but they can't let go of any of them.

I can't put down the sub, I can't put the position. ”

Seeing that Mr. Liang had already reflected and been touched, Lu Ran continued: "Have you noticed it?

The problem is similar to the one I just mentioned, or it is in the same vein.

One is internal causes, and the other is performance.

You have high expectations of yourself, you don't allow mistakes, and you even get anxious, just like you're always worried that the door isn't closed properly and you need to keep checking it.

No matter how many times you check, you'll never have peace of mind.

Because it's possible that it's open.

The existence of such a possibility is unacceptable to you.

Because just the thought of it being open makes you feel like you can't bear it. ”