The old people always say that if you lose something in life, you will gain something in disguise.

Last night, because I was in a depressed mood, I wrote a message on WeChat, and I knew that there would be a lot of people who liked and commented on it, and I think my friends who know me will feel that it has been so many years, and I can't let go of Xiaofan.

I met her when I was twelve years old, and it has been ten years now.

For so long, I've been asking myself, do I really like her, do I love her? No, maybe it's just my self-thought.

Last night I had a dream, the dream was full of Xiao Fan's figure, I once wrote that Xiao Fan's laughter was the most sound in the ears, and in the morning seven and a half minutes, I suddenly woke up from the bed.

I dreamed in a dream that she added me as a friend, a WeChat friend.

I looked for my phone in a panic, and finally the phone hid under the pillow, I opened the WeChat icon with a nervous heart, and when a figure appeared on the screen staring at the big and round moon, the WeChat interface appeared.

What comes into view is a row of chat boxes, and the group chat and the group chat are constantly changing positions, which is the information update.

I was very nervous, I was very scared.

When a qiē was calm, about a dozen seconds later, a red 1 appeared in the address book, and I felt like a cannonball was exploding in my head.

Is it really Xiaofan? Is it really her who added me?

This is life, such a fucked life, I rushed to diǎn lit a cigarette and took a deep breath to restore my calm.

With caution, with anxiety switched to the address book, a friend added me, six in the morning diǎn added mine, I held my breath at the time, pressed tongguò.

Tentatively asked, "Are you?"

After a few minutes, she didn't reply. I was a little nervous, and I even had a lot of gains.

Isn't it Xiaofan?

Eventually, she replied, simply saying, "That's good." ”

I spelled quickly with both thumbs and wrote, "It's okay, it's just a sustenance of feelings...... Sorry, just woke up. ”

"It's really what you say" is a sentence without the slightest sign of diǎn. Coupled with a pouting expression, there was a boom in my head, and I was suddenly confused.

Near-loading ∏dǐng∏diǎn∏小∏ said,.⊕.o≤s_(); forced to write: "People will lose a lot if they live for a lifetime, but this is the one I need to repent of the most." ”

It took a full three minutes before she Shi Shiran replied, "Do you know who I am?"

It was still a sentence without the slightest sign of diǎn, and my expression at that time was shocked, stunned, and surprised. There are losses, there are gains and losses, and for a while, the mood is like a five-flavor bottle being overturned, and all kinds of feelings emerge.

"Are you really Xiaofan?"

"Don't tease me. ”

She replied in seconds: "Your sister, I'm Xiuting." ”

I was like a sunny day scorched by a thunderbolt, and the girl I expected did not appear, but Xiuting, who I hadn't arranged for her to appear for a while, appeared.

"Chasing your uncle, why are you chasing you?!" a question with questions and lack of confidence. A crying emoji was added at the end.

It's just a memory of my childhood. What's more, the protagonist is not me. I pulled out an ugly smile, and suddenly threw down the phone without interest, and the whole person was instantly drained of strength, and lay on the bed weakly.

The light of the mobile phone flickered twice, and the incandescent light was very flashing, and I looked at the mobile phone more ruthlessly. Xiu Ting sued me and she added me mainly to apologize to me.

I didn't really need her to apologize, and I didn't hate her...... If I go back in time, I would still choose Xiuting again and forget Xiaofan at that age.

Because I was at that time. I won't have the deep regret I have now, because at that time I almost didn't notice that I was alone with Xiao Fan, and the distance was unconsciously far away, until one day I opened QQ and found that Xiao Fan was suddenly gone.

At that time, I completely understood one thing, when a girl hates you, from liking you to deciding to delete you, there is something in between that I don't know.

At that time, I was with Xiuting, and I hung around at the door of Xiaofan's class all day long, just to talk to Xiuting for ten minutes after class, I don't know what kind of mood Xiaofan was in at the beginning, now think about it, how much of a bastard I had to be.

……

After I was with her, it didn't take long for Xiaofan to have a boyfriend, is this revenge?

I remembered very clearly that now, I was very jealous of that man, and I easily owned Xiaofan, and I had broken up with Xiuting at that time.

Speaking of which, this is a kind of reincarnation!

Xiuting and I have been classmates from elementary school to junior high school, and she once asked my brother to convey a message to me when she was about to graduate from sixth grade.

If she was in the same class as me in junior high school, she would drop out.

I remember this sentence very clearly, and I really missed the opportunity to go to the first class to study and be in the same class as Xiaofan because of this sentence.

Life is like this, everything is unexpected by you, even when my mother later called me to tell me that the spot in the first class was missed because of my hesitation, I missed the best opportunity to change shifts, and I had to go to the third class.

In the first half semester of junior high school, Xiuting asked a girl in my class to hand me a letter, she wrote very delicately, with care in weakness, delicate but not lost.

I have to admit that she writes beautifully.

At that time, I may have been angry because of Xiuting's words, so I tore it up directly, and then threw it into the trash, and told the girl in the same class, Sue Xiuting, I don't want to see her in my life.

I have to admit that I wasn't angry at the beginning because I couldn't go to the first class, I was just angry at Xiuting for why she did this to me? I didn't bully her, and I didn't do anything angry with her, why did she drop out of school when I was in the same class as her?

Drafting my brother-in-law, I still can't figure it out.

It didn't take long for a message to come out of the year that Xiuting was with a certain man in the first grade of my seniority.

I must admit that I didn't care about it on the surface, but I wanted to hit people in my heart.

I know, what Xiuting's letter meant, the girl was so shy that she wrote to you, if it wasn't for the boyfriend and girlfriend to write to you, Lao Tzu would have run to the Yangtze River and jumped immediately.

But I tore it. For the sake of face, I never apologized to her, and I never told her that I liked her.

And a year later, such a thing repeated again, and after I was with Xiuting, Xiao Fan seemed to want to prove it as well. After I broke up, it was reported again that she was with a man in the third year of junior high school.

However, I don't care too much about it, in fact, it's not that I don't care, but that I broke up with Xiuting.

That was the first time I experienced how sour it was to be abandoned, and after the final exam that day, I walked at the door of Xiuting's class, and the aisle at the door of their class was already at the end.

I didn't find her, I was on the third floor while she was in the parking lot on the first floor.

She never looked back. I watched her back silently, watching her limp out of the carport, my eyes moving with her, and finally she disappeared from my view after a dozen seconds.

At the time, I was devastated.

I knew exactly what she was doing by doing this, so I ran like crazy to the carport, took out my bike, and chased it down with all my might.

Pity. No matter how fast I am, I will eventually lose her figure.

My tears reached my grandfather's toilet when they reached the bathroom. I dripped, and I cried quietly, afraid that my grandfather would hear my cry, and kept scooping water and sprinkling it on myself.

I don't know how long it was, but I remember that it was more than four days in the afternoon, and I kept dialing Xiuting's phone one after another. She snapped, and I continued to hit.

Cycle.

After ten minutes, she finally answered.

I asked her why, and she just kept crying, crying. But his tone is very resolute, he must break up with me.

Later, I still knew why, because she was going to work in a shoe factory in Zhejiang, just because she was with me at this stage, in just two and a half months, she had been in contact with that man, and I tolerated me and let me comfort.

In the end, I was not as good as others, and I lost.

I lost all of them, I lost two and a half months of hard work, lost Xiuting, lost Xiaofan.

I'm a complete loser.

I still have to blame for this qiē, because I tore up the letter at the beginning, so that I broke Xiuting's heart, even if I was with her half a year later, it was useless.

The one who loves you hurts you the most...... This statement is true.

……

During the time when Xiuting and I were together, I once went back to my hometown to visit my grandmother on Saturday, and that Saturday, as a Hokkien person, almost every village had the custom of inviting people to sing.

That night, I received a call on my phone.

The person on the phone told me that something had happened to Xiuting.

She fell into the shrimp pond, and the main person in Xiuting's accident was a man, and the brother she recognized, Feng (referred to as Feng here, time has passed, and there is no need to write a person's name. ）

This is a player, but it's still quite friendly to me, so I didn't say much, but on the night of Xiuting's accident, I completely turned against him.

This is my character, you can insult and bully Lao Tzu himself, but no one is allowed to touch my woman, and I will definitely settle accounts with you if something happens.

I was anxious like an ant on a hot pot, and I kept calling for help.

Luckily, I have a friend who is a year older than me but has a good relationship with me, named Nishiki.

It was almost ten and a half in the evening that night, and Xiuting had already arrived home.

I begged him to ride his bicycle to Xiuting's house, and he asked me what I was going to do.

I yelled at him directly: "If you go, knock on the door directly, even if you make a noise that others are sleeping, you have to wake up Xiuting's family for Lao Tzu." ”

He did.

Ten minutes later, I called me to tell me that Xiuting's family had learned about her injuries and were preparing to deal with them.

As soon as I heard this, my heart was relieved, and I finally ...... Even if you hate me, I admit it, if you are injured, the injured Yan zhòng did not find out, leaving sequelae This is what I am most unhappy about.

Later, I didn't know if she hated me, with or without it, I could only do it for her good.

This is the reason why Xiuting limped out of my sight at that time, which shows how severe the injury was that night, if I didn't do it because I was afraid that her parents would know that I was dating her, I was afraid that Xiuting would really leave sequelae.

She's okay and that's my greatest comfort.

Perhaps, many people will think that I am making things up, but this is the thing, my first girlfriend at the time, Xiuting.

I never hated her. I actually hate myself, if I hadn't torn up that letter at that time, I would have been the first boy to walk into her heart, and she should have thought that the person she should be thinking about must be me.

Emotionally, I lost completely.

In later days, I only had one girlfriend. I chose to let her propose to break up without hurting her, just like Xiuting's goodbye, Xiaofan's no-trace, let all the pain, all the discomfort, all the days when you need to hide in the corner and cry, I will bear it.

As I grew up, sitting in front of the computer at this moment, I was at peace when I recalled the past.

I just want to. Write down the stupidest, most hateful, and most unbearable things you have ever done in your heart.

Let everyone see how stupid the blur used to be, so stupid that one day while eating lunch and eating, Xiuting suddenly thought of Xiuting in her mind, with food in her mouth. The lunch box in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter, and he didn't know it.

My roommate picked it up for me and put it back in my hand.

That time. I avoided Xiuting like a cat saw a mouse and couldn't help but want to dodge, I was a cat, I should have let the mouse be afraid of me, but I became a deserter, holding a gun and shouting to attack, but others rushed up to fight, and I was in place. Even running backwards.

Those mixed memories are the most nostalgic and laughable.

……

I still remember one night after I broke up with Xiuting, I and a few classmates were blowing the sea breeze on the beach.

I said I was going to buy cigarettes to smoke and rode away.

A few minutes later. I stopped the car at the entrance of an alley and shouted to a figure that had melted into the darkness, "Xiaofan!?"

She turned around and came to me to look at me, I was laughing silly and innocently, Xiaofan really didn't have much thought at that time, she was still a pure girl.

I asked her where she was going, and she said she should take her to Baishi Village Elementary School.

On the road, I drove fast, but unfortunately the fastest speed of the car was 60.

I, that night, missed the word I wanted to say the most.

That is, after that night, it didn't take long for Xiaofan to have a boyfriend.

I think that between men and women, everyone has had an age of innocence, youth and frivolity.

With the boiling blood flowing in his veins, he did one wild thing after another, regardless of the consequences.

Take the lead in class, have endless fun arguing with the teacher, and have a lot of fun fighting with the teacher, soak girls, peek at girls taking a bath, parade in groups, and always can't help but put their thumbs and index fingers together when they see a beautiful woman, and blow a loud whistle at her.

Then, we got a roll of the eye, but we burst out laughing.

This is youth, this belongs to our boys and girls born in 95, a most nostalgic past.

……

Mi Li thinks that in fact, when two people are together, it is nothing more than eating together, sleeping together, and doing something meaningful together.

Every time they look at each other, they can see the girl's turbulent autumn waves, with a wisp of misty, the corners of her mouth slightly raised, revealing her white teeth;

hugged each other, held hands and shook them, and slowly disappeared into the eyes of those who envied them.

……

Confused from myself, I have nothing to regret about my emotional experience, Xiaofan is the first girl to contact me after my parents divorced, so I think I am more unwilling to ignore her like this, like a stranger.

Because I never had a conflict with her, if I did, I probably shouldn't have dared to say to her that I like you after she was in high school.

What a ridiculous time diǎn, such a humble four words like my heart, she can laugh at it to her heart's content, disdain it, this may be my belated confession...... Because I remember when she told me that I just thought of you as my best friend.

However, I never had contact with her again.

If someone were to ask me, what would you most like to do if you were given another chance to go back in time?

I want to say to him (her) loudly, I want to go back to the first day of junior high school, go back to the minutes before I tore up the letter, I will tear open the envelope, read it carefully word by word, and then tell sù Xiuting, Lao Tzu is his mother's fancy to you, you either have a relationship with me or just have a relationship with me, you have no choice.

Because of the appearance of Xiuting today, there were waves in my calm heart.

This rippling Cheng dù is very exaggerated, and it has affected me from the morning to the present, which is why this chapter is published.

I thought about it carefully, Xiaofan has changed, she is no longer the girl who didn't talk much and laughed like a silver bell back then, she is not something I can have, because it has been seven years since I broke off contact with her, we have been strangers for seven years, and it is impossible for us to get acquainted again, even if we have the opportunity to meet.

It will only be, diǎn to the end.

……

I want to sue sù Xiuting, today you sue sù me You watched mine, it's very good-looking, but you are written as scheming b.

I explained, Xiaofan in it is just the girl I want to get, and why did Xiuting in it appear first? I don't know, maybe in the dark, the biggest possibility is that Xiaofan and Xiuting are equal in my heart.

No one is above the other.

Perhaps, when you boldly told me that you liked it instead of writing a letter, I would never have refused.

I'm sorry to write so many words to make everyone see the joke, but what I want to tell you is that today I chatted with Miss Xiuting, like an old friend who hadn't seen her for more than ten years, and there was no jerky feeling under the conversation, I don't know why.

It seems that I recognize Xiuting more in my heart.

I'm done with my words, I just hope that after this article is published, if Xiuting is lucky enough to see it, if she is still single, if she doesn't mind, then ...... Can I be cheeky enough to ask you.

"Excuse me, can you be my girlfriend?" I asked, rubbing my hands, nervous and nervous. (To be continued.) )